Page 29

Chapter 28

Lily

T he sun is bright and hot today as Morgan and I stretch out under the shade of our cabana. Last night, after we left Tyler’s, I called the Sandpearl on Clearwater Beach and booked us a room. I had read about this resort, their restaurants, and the spa, and knew it would be the perfect beach place for us. We could walk to other establishments to eat and shop, or we could lie by the pool all day and raise the white service flag. It’s not too crowded, as schools are officially back in and the summer break is over. I find that delightful, and this is the perfect way to celebrate me finishing Love at the Lake and my book signing offer.

“It’s kind of like a mini book tour,” Morgan says, taking a sip of her pina colada. Is there really another drink that screams beach vacation more than this one? Pineapple, coconut, and rum—whoever invented this better have earned a lifetime award.

“I wouldn’t call it a book tour if there’s only one location.” And what a location it is. It’s located on the Upper West Side, just two blocks off Central Park and a few blocks from Columbus Circle. Its foot traffic is amazing, but it also has that neighborhood charm where shops still decorate their windows for holidays and have regulars who frequent often.

“You never know. Once the word gets out that you did one signing, I’m certain others will be calling too.” She sets her drink down and leans back on the lounge chair.

“You have a lot of faith in unknown popularity.”

“What do you mean by unknown? Your release rank for the past couple of books and your newsletter subscriber list would argue that you’re very known.”

“Maybe, but there’s still this level of uncertainty and fear.”

“You have nothing to be afraid of. Any business is good business, and the book will sell. I’ve read it. It has every element your readers have come to love about you.”

“Do you think part of my appeal is because I’m anonymous? I’m mysterious and secretive with my life. I think that might have attracted some as well. If I go public, I may lose some of that, for lack of a better phrase, magical element.”

“I don’t think you’ll lose readers. People keep coming back because they like your stories, not because they keep waiting for the day you show your face. That’s the thing too about indie books. There are so many that people don’t have to hang their hat up on just a few authors. They can move on easily and find someone else. There’s no shortage of material. The market is flooded. And the fact that you’ve found your way to the top says a lot about your craft, not your anonymity.”

I know she’s right. The industry is very saturated, and readers don’t have to be picky or selective because there’s always something else or something new to read.

“I think I want to do the signing,” I tell her, my nerves firing at just saying those words. I’ve been leaning toward it for days, and seeing and feeling Tyler’s reaction to the news made me proud.

She sits up straight and pushes her sunglasses to the top of her head. “Really!”

“Yes. Why shouldn’t I? I am proud of what I’ve built. People want to celebrate that with me, and I should let them.”

“You absolutely should! This is the best ever!” she squeals.

“I know there will be a period when my past and my future overlap, but eventually, it’ll pass. It has to. Besides, I did this. I wrote these stories, and no one can take that away from me. I’d like to believe that my talent will overshine any other noise that may surface.”

“Damn straight. It’s going to be like Dean who? You are a rock star at telling a story. And I’m certain there are more readers out there who are a fan of yours than a fan of his. I’d argue most don’t even know who he is. Please tell me I can come too. I want to be there.”

Wouldn’t that be amazing. The industries aren’t connected in any way, and while I know some will know him, just maybe my readers aren’t sports people, so they just won’t care.

I laugh. “Wouldn’t have it any other way,” I tell her, grabbing the can of sunscreen to spray my legs. We might be in the shade, but that doesn’t mean we won’t burn.

“Since you’re laying it all out there, are you ready to talk about Tyler yet?” She wags her brows up and down, drops her sunglasses back in place, and lies back on the lounge chair.

“It’s not that I don’t want to talk about him. I’m just not sure what to say.”

“Girl, you know you played dirty last night showing up to Tyler and Dean’s game in Tyler’s number. I can’t even begin to imagine what Dean’s face looked like when they flashed the two of you up on the big screen before the game.”

I wasn’t aware that we were on the screen until later when Lexi told me. They caught us at the roped-off family-and-friends section before the game, like they always do. The video clip wasn’t long, but it was caught from behind me. You see Tyler smile at me as he approaches me, his name across my back, and our pinky shake.

“You know, I didn’t wear it to provoke him. I’ve moved on and let it go. But it did cross my mind a time or two that he might see it, or his teammates would tell him, and I wondered if he would care.”

“Of course he cared. And based on that little showdown on the fifty-yard line that’s all over every media outlet there today, I’d say he was green with envy.”

“Which is stupid because we’ve been over for a long time.” I push my sunglasses up my nose, they’ve slipped a little, and stare out at the pool in front of us. I’ve often thought is there a moment when things changed, when our future was done, but I can’t really pinpoint anything either of us did. I guess it’s what we didn’t do, and that is nurture the relationship and each other. In many ways, I’m just as guilty as him. If I’d spoken up more, championed for myself, maybe he would have stepped up. Or maybe not. But I did learn through my time with Dean what I want and what I need. So there is that.

“Has he reached out at all?”

“I don’t know. I blocked him.” I still feel a sense of peace from that decision.

Morgan throws her head back and laughs. “Oh my God, you didn’t tell me that. I wonder if he realizes it or if he thinks you’ve just been ignoring him.”

“Probably ignoring him, because why would anyone ever block the great Dean Davis.”

“I wonder if there’s someone you can ask about that interaction on the field. Tyler was mic’d up, so there should be a recording of it somewhere.”

“I don’t know. I also don’t know if I want to hear it. It’s weird. We didn’t end on bad terms, it’s almost like we didn’t end because there was nothing to end. I decided to leave and all he said was goodbye. If he did say something to Tyler, I don’t want to hear it. I’ve moved on. Does that make sense?”

“It does, and Lance did not steer you wrong when he told you to head to Florida.”

“I know. I’d forgotten how much I love it here. Has this summer been hot? Yes, but I haven’t noticed it too much.” Leaning forward, I flip the flag up. It’s time for another drink and maybe a snack.

“You haven’t noticed because you’ve been too busy staring at Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome. Nashville, however, has been hotter than the devil’s armpit. I swear it’s like being in an oven with no way out.”

I laugh at her analogy, and as I look over at my oldest friend, I watch as she rolls her lips between her teeth. Instantly, my eyes burn because I know she only does this when she’s trying to hold herself together.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just so proud of you. Since you’ve been here, you’ve changed.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No, not at all. It’s one hundred percent a good thing.” She picks up her drink, finishes it off, and then sets it down. “When we were kids, you were so vivacious. You were outgoing, loud, happy, and you embraced every bit of life. But then you started dating Dean, and over the years, you changed. I thought maybe it was because we were getting older, or perhaps it was a maturity thing, but while you still brightened up every room you walked into, it was like your spirit had dulled. You became demure. You still smiled, but you laughed less, and it was like you actively tried to become invisible. I don’t know. It was hard to watch. But since you’ve been in Florida, your laughter has returned, and glimpses of the girl I used to know are starting to return too. Does that make sense?”

My eyes burn at her admission. My spirit was dulled, and while I did feel it, I didn’t recognize how much.

“Yes, it does.” I let out a deep sigh. “I didn’t realize how much of a dark place I was in until I left, went to the lake and then eventually to Tyler’s. It’s hard to see things clearly when you’re standing in the middle of a tornado. But once I was out of it, everything about my life with Dean, and the destruction it left behind became crystal clear.”

“You’ve always had confidence in yourself. It’s who you are, and I feel like you’re starting to let others see it now too, and I think that’s amazing.”

“I am trying. Tyler has been a big part of that. He’s kind and supportive in a way I’m not used to.”

I’m learning that surrounding myself with the right people makes all the difference. He makes me want to be the best version of myself for me, not for anyone else, and I’m so grateful to have found my way to him. I know Lance was the one to throw Tyler’s hat into the ring, but I have to believe that fate had a bigger hand in this. Timing is everything, right?

“Kind is not the word I would use to describe him, given how many sparks were flying last night. I was afraid I’d somehow stand between you two and get burned.”

My cheeks heat as I think about him pressing me up against his truck, his hands as they ran over me, and his mouth fused to mine.

“He kissed me after the game yesterday.”

She gasps as her head snaps in my direction. “Was this your first kiss?”

“Yes,” I can feel a blush spreading, and butterflies in my stomach dance at the memory.

“And you let me interrupt your night! Oh my God. You’ve dreamed of this for like your whole life. We’ve got to have a silent signal for situations like this.”

“It’s okay. He’s not going anywhere, and neither am I. If it’s meant to be, then our time is coming.”

“Coming. Cute word choice there.” She laughs.

“Stop it.” I grin back.

“Have you seen him naked?” She wags her brows, and they bounce up and down over the rim of her glasses.

“What? No!” I laugh. “Not that I’d tell you if I did.”

“Yes, you would. You tell me everything. Just think about it. He’s like the perfect male specimen. Muscles for days, large hands, and I would bet the bank he has that ‘v’ which points straight to his?—”

“Okay! I get the picture. Stop fantasizing over him. It’s weird,” I tell her, but I’m still smiling.

“It’s not weird. We’ve been fantasizing over him for almost a decade, and now you’re about to have all your dreams come true. The career and the guy. Tell me which Chinese place you ate at so I can get myself a good fortune too.”

“What do you mean? You have a great life. You have Gage, and you work with me.”

“This is true. Okay, okay. No fortunes, but maybe just the Chinese food. I’d kill for some egg drop soup right now.”

“We could probably have some delivered.”

“What do you think Lance will say?” she asks.

“Honestly, I don’t care. Whatever happens between Tyler and me is between us. It has nothing to do with him.”

“I like the way you think . . . to be continued.” She giggles.