Page 34

34

Original Intentions

H is gaze is unfocused as it swings across the room, finally landing on me. He drags in shallow, ragged breaths. His skin is still that unnatural pale grey beneath his natural olive tone.

He’s awake, though. I cling to that blessing.

“How are you feeling?” My fingers curl over his gloved hand. I have to make a conscious effort to not crush it in my grip.

“Water?” His voice is so hoarse I can barely make the word out. I hurry to pour him water from the pitcher Sigrid left for me by the table. Daenn tries to rise, but all he can manage is to prop himself on one elbow. Water sloshes over the rim of the clay cup when he takes it from me, but he manages to bring it to his lips and take a sip. His hand drops, and the cup slips from his grip. I barely catch it; water spills over my skirt. I set the cup on the tray with the pitcher.

“Daenn—” My voice fails me. I have to blink back tears. He’s awake… but he’s so weak. I’ve heard stories about people dying; they get a second wind right before the end. What if his waking up is just that? What if these are his final moments?

“I’m dying.” He drops back onto his pillow and tilts his head to look at me.

I nod .

A calm, final sort of resignation snakes over the bond to me. It’s faint, far fainter than how the bond was before his collapse, but I do feel it.

And it just fuels my anger. My voice comes out dangerously crisp. “Master Healer Tyr said your only chance is if we complete the wedding bond. Which came as a surprise to me, since I thought we were bonded already.”

Daenn’s gaze slides to me, and he has the decency to look ashamed for a moment, but then he buries it behind his careful, neutral king mask.

I’m too irritated to let this lie. “Why didn’t you complete the bond, Daenn? You knew, and you took the risk of the bracers anyway. It’s like you have a death wish.”

His jaw clenches. “Yes.”

“Yes?” I lean back; the single word is like a slap. “Yes, you have a death wish?”

“Yes, I took the risk without completing the bond.” He meets my gaze with a familiar steel; he looks totally unrepentant. “There was no way in the four winds that I was going to risk you dying with me.”

I can only stare at him.

“You knew,” I whisper. “You knew this would kill you. You do have a death wish.”

“I knew the chance was high. I don’t fear death. I’m a warrior and a gryphon rider. I face it every time I pick up a weapon, every time I climb into the saddle. Death is an old friend.”

I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head, as if doing so can rid my head of his words. “No, this is different.” My eyes snap open, and I pin him with a glare. “You should have completed the bond.”

His jaw flexes. “I couldn’t. ”

“You wouldn’t ,” I correct icily.

He flinches, and he turns his head away, staring at the canopy over his bed instead of at me. “Fine, I wouldn’t . I know how little you want this marriage. I needed you near me, Emi, but if I completed the marriage bond, there would be no undoing it. With it incomplete, you still have a chance to leave, to be free of me.”

“I never wanted to be free of you at the cost of your life!”

His eyes slide shut. If not for the way his jaw works, I’d think he’s falling back to sleep.

I soften my voice. “Please, Daenn. Complete the bond. Master Healer Tyr said if we were bonded correctly, the bracers wouldn’t be focused solely on you. With their focus split, you might survive them.”

Daenn’s eyes fly open, his green gaze snapping to me. “The bracers would be targeting you? Then my choice was the right one. I’m glad I stood by it.”

I grind my teeth. “Daenn, I can help—”

“Absolutely not.” Heat fills his voice, more fire than he’s shown since waking. I’m facing down the king of the gryphon clans right now, the man who expects his every word to be obeyed. “I won’t put you at risk to save myself.”

“But you’ll die !” My voice breaks, and angry tears sting my eyes. “You’re dying now. This is the only chance we have to save you.”

“No.” The word carries the full weight of his iron will. “I will die if it ensures you live. I’ve dragged you into my darkness enough. I was weak when I came to Chambledon. I only meant to invite you home as an advisor, but everything spiraled so quickly when Tolomon attacked me. Bringing you back as my bride was a last-minute idea because I need you, even if you hate me for killing the man you…” His face twists for a mo ment, and a faint pang of guilt and hurt accompanies it over the bond. But then his resolve reasserts itself. “I won’t do it anymore. You will be free of me, as you wanted. And…” Here he falters. When he continues, his voice is softer, pleading instead of commanding. “I trust you to care for the clans once I’m gone. I’ve secured blood oaths from the South Peak elders, and the rest of the clans are loyal. They’ll follow you, and I know you’ll lead them well.”

I can’t speak; the sheer vastness of what he’s saying is overwhelming me. Not that he’s asking me to rule once he’s gone. I’ve been trained enough that I don’t fear that.

But the rest of it, about his original intentions, and that he would…

The door opens behind me, and on instinct I turn, so I see when Master Healer Tyr’s gaze brightens at the sight of Daenn up.

“Your Majesty! It’s good to see you awake.” He hurries forward, casting a glance over to me. “Queen Emana, I know it’s not my place to ask, but will you send someone to get His Majesty something from the kitchens? It would do him good to eat something while he’s awake.”

I stand mechanically. “Of course. Do you want me to send someone to assist you here as well?”

“Please, if you would.” He busies himself with Daenn then, so I slip out, desperate to escape for a moment.

But even as I track down a servant to send to Daenn’s room and make my way to the kitchens, I can’t escape my thoughts.

Daenn is quite literally willing to die to protect me. He is dying to protect me.