Page 40 of Tied up in Knots (Gummy Bear Orgy #4)

Gigi’s soft-spoken question draws my attention away from watching Warren and daydreaming of a scene that may be more possible now than ever before.

I roll my head on the couch cushion enough to look at my grandma’s wrinkled and loving face.

Her white hair is piled neatly on top of her head in a bun, and she even brushed on a bit of blush and lipstick for the party.

She looks tired from the long day, probably having started much earlier than when I arrived, to help Izzy decorate and set everything up.

Not to mention cooking most of the food.

“Things are going pretty well actually. Having him around is very helpful.”

“Oh yeah, I bet he’s been real helpful. You’ve been smiling a hell of a lot more lately, which I can only assume is because of him.” Izzy waggles her eyebrows suggestively and I have to smother a grin trying to play it cool.

It’s a bit late for that now I suppose, since I’m pregnant with his baby. They already know we were having sex before, it’s not a stretch to assume we’re having sex now.

“Yeah well, you’re not wrong,” I admit quietly.

Izzy makes an “Oooh” noise like a gossiping teenager and pokes at my thigh. Again, not wrong.

“That’s good sweetheart, I’m so glad you two were able to work things out. I look forward to a wedding in the future.”

“A wedding?!” I practically choke on my spit. “Don’t you think that’s a little presumptuous? I mean we’ve only technically been together for like a month.”

“You two have been dancing around each other for years. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve ‘technically’ been dating.” Gigi uses air quotes like a pro around technically, giving me a sardonic look. “You know each other better than anyone.”

“Except me,” Izzy chimes in, as usual.

“Except Izzy of course,” Gigi acquiesces. “Just because what you call each other has changed doesn’t mean your feelings have.”

“Personally, I’m glad you finally hooked up. I was getting tired of the constant swooning and staring,” Izzy not so helpfully adds.

“What? I didn’t swoon!” I exclaim.

“Sure, you didn’t,” Izzy rolls her eyes, giving me a knowing look.

Okay I most definitely swooned, like a lot. But I’m not going to admit to that. Especially not when Warren could hear it. He’d never let me live it down.

“Whatever, but that doesn’t mean we have to get married.”

Not that I don’t want to get married, I would love to marry Warren.

But having a child and now living together is already a big step.

Marriage will just have to wait. At least, I hope.

It’s only over the last few weeks that Warren has shifted his view on living in Homer or even in Alaska.

Sure, he’s here right now and present in our lives but he’s not legally or financially tethered to me, to us.

If he wanted to, he could leave at any time.

Marriage would be cement level permanent.

Something he’s always had an aversion to.

“You don’t have to get married, no. But I think you will, all the same.” Gigi proclaims calmly.

My eyes snap up to hers trying to read her meaning. Does she know something I don’t? Warren has never mentioned ever wanting to marry anyone. Family, marriage, the house with the picket fence were always the things he never wanted.

“Why do you say that?” I ask, needing to know what she knows. Although no one can ever truly know what Gigi knows. I think she’s part psychic and just won’t tell us.

She shrugs a sweater covered shoulder and sips at her steaming tea. “No reason, just a feeling.”

Her eyes flick to Warren moving around in the kitchen then back to me and even though she tries to hide it I see the grin on her lips behind her teacup.

I know from years of trying, that begging her to tell me won’t garner any more information than she’s willing to give, so I let it go. For now. I’ll try again later when we’re alone.

The baby kicks and effectively draws our attention away from all talk of marriage, even Warren and Owen come back to feel him kick.

I have all four of their hands on my stomach and Noah inside practicing to be a heavy metal drummer, using my organs as practice drums.

“Okay I think we need to go for a walk to get him to calm down. He’s all excited now.”

I reach for Warren’s hand, and he instantly latches on to help me stand. I can’t stand on my own these days, especially not from a soft plush couch. Using his arms to steady me, I realize I forgot to put my shoes on before standing. I groan and look down at my bare feet.

“I forgot to put my shoes back on first.”

“No problem, I’ve got it.”

Warren seeks out my shoes and kneels in front of me like Prince Charming putting on Cinderella’s glass slipper. I shake the thought away because that’ll just make me cry again. I’m a never ending well of tears these days and I think I’ve hit my personal quota for crying in one day.

Warren slips the shoes on my feet as I use his shoulders for support.

Before he stands, he looks up at me with an expression of such unguarded admiration it almost looks foreign on his face.

Tattooed bad boy Warren, who was arrested at least a dozen times while still in high school is kneeling before me and smiling like a lovesick puppy dog, fulfilling my every need without question like a dutiful servant.

I never thought Warren would bend to anyone.

He’s always been so strong willed and independent.

I’ve always known there was a soft side inside him, he just always had to suppress it.

Push down any possible perceived weakness to survive his father.

In this moment, right here and now, I know Warren will never be that kind of man, that kind of father.

To be cruel and unloving, choosing booze over family.

He was free and clear, thousands of miles away, he didn’t have to come back.

He didn’t have to return and take responsibility or profess his love for me.

He did it because he wanted to, because, like I’ve always known, he is a good man.

Despite the tattoos, bar fights, and arrests he’s still a thousand times better than his father.

The moment that feels like an eternity between us finally ends, and time resumes its normal pace as Warren stands. My head lifts with every inch he rises until I’m now looking up at him and he down at me.

“How about we walk down to the dock before we leave?” he asks.

I nod. “Sounds good. I could use a little fresh air. But first I need to pee.”

Izzy and the others remain in the house while me and Warren make our way out to the backyard, the scent of the ocean hitting me the instant we open the door.

The air is crisp and clean, no smog or smoke.

The sky is clear enough to see the snowcapped mountains in the distance.

Most of the snow has gone now from Homer, leaving only a fresh crispness in the air.

Even with the slightly warming temperatures Warren still wraps an arm around my shoulders and holds me close as we walk.

Seven months ago, I stood on this very same wooden dock and angrily said goodbye to the love of my life.

Strange how a little time can change things.

Time was never on my side in the past, I suppose it’s making up for its shortcomings now.

Because I’m standing on the same dock with the same man in a completely different position now.

Warren’s sailboat “The Knotty Boy” bobs gently on the water bumping against buoys on the dock. I understand its name better now. I spot the turquoise rope around his opposite wrist and grin. I understand the name very well now and look forward to after Noah is born so I can experience it again.

“Did you have a good day?” Warren asks softly, drawing my mind from memories of ropes and skin.

“Yes. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.”

“You thought your baby shower was going to be bad?” His brow pinches together and he looks down at me confused.

“Not bad, just…awkward, I guess. When we started planning it you weren’t here, and I was going to have to do it alone.”

“You wouldn’t have been alone. You have Izzy and Gigi and even Owen.”

We stop at the end of the dock and lean against the railing Gigi had installed after we graduated high school.

The water is calm and a sparkling blue. I love it here.

So peaceful and open. It’s all I’ve ever known and I’m okay with that.

There’s nothing more I need now that I have Warren and soon Noah.

Although I suppose a house wouldn’t hurt.

We’ll grow out of our small apartment in no time.

Perhaps some place near here, so Gigi can come visit and babysit often.

“What are you thinking about?”

Warren’s deep rich voice rumbles in my ear and pulls me from my thoughts.

“Oh, just things.”

“What kind of things?”

“The future, after Noah is born.”

“Anything specific?”

I shrug, leaning against his chest absorbing his warmth, reveling in his presence here with me.

Looking up into his warm brown eyes it finally settles within me, he’s not leaving.

He’s here for the foreseeable future with no intention of leaving.

The shield he built around his heart and soul over the years has finally fallen.

He no longer focuses on the past and his horrible childhood or his parents.

He doesn’t blame this town for his unhappiness anymore.

I’d like to think he’s finally seeing it as the beautiful place that I do.

A place where, if done right, one can build a happy life with a family. Something he can do with me.

“I love you Warren, I always have. I was afraid that if I ever told you, you might reject my feelings. Crush my heart and every hope I ever had of being with you. Even after you came back, I worried it wasn’t real. That you were doing it out of obligation instead of love.”

“Bambi that’s not?”

“I know. That’s not why you came back.”

“I came back because I love you and I was stupid to leave. And I don’t want to become my father. I don’t want my son to grow up hating me because I was too weak and selfish to be there for him.”

Turning in his arms I cup his stubbled face and stroke at his cheek with my thumb. He turns and presses a soft kiss to the palm of my hand, circling me in his arms and keeping me as close as possible with my massive belly between us.

“I’m sorry Bambi. I should have never left. You deserve someone better, I know that. But like I said, I’m selfish and I’m going to keep you for myself.”

A grin tugs at my lips and I try to control it, my mouth twitching.

“Is it wrong of me to be turned on by that? Besides, I think you deserve to be a little greedy. At least when it comes to love and to me.”

“Good, because I may be greedy, but I can also be very, very generous.”

Warren leans down and slants his lips over mine, consuming me in a kiss that almost has me whimpering. I try to slip my tongue against his, but he pulls back and presses a kiss to my nose.

“Not here my doe eyed deer. Wait until we get home.”

I like that he calls my apartment home. I would call wherever we go together home.

“Can I ask for one thing?”

“Anything.”

“Could we…use the rope again?”

Warren growls and rubs his nose into my hair.

“Gladly. But not as much as before. I don’t want to risk anything with you so far along in your pregnancy.”

Concern washes over his expression and one of his hands caresses at my stomach. Seems like the tables have turned. Me being reckless and wanting to do something wild, and Warren being the sensible responsible one.

“I guess I can accept that. For now.”

With a saucy grin and another kiss Warren leads me back to the house and then to his truck to drive home.