Page 24 of Tied up in Knots (Gummy Bear Orgy #4)

I look down at her belly and feel my expression soften.

I had never planned on having kids. Being raised by my parent’s kind of put me off the idea, but seeing her now round and swollen, something in me warms. That cold bitter place formed from the unhappy memories of my childhood thaws and melts away to make room for something new. Something warm and molten.

“How did you find out?” Her voice is small and quiet, and she sounds like she was hoping I’d never find out. My eyes slide up to hers, warm liquid amber with a dark green outer rim, swelling with tears.

“Owen.”

“Fucking Owen. Can’t keep his mouth shut for two minutes.”

“I’m glad he couldn’t.”

One singular tear rolls down her cheek and she blinks rapidly trying to stop the rest from falling. I can’t stand to see her cry, never could. I reach out and brush away the tear. I take it as a good sign that she doesn’t swat my hand away, so I press my luck.

Stepping closer to her and I cup both her cheeks in my hands. Her eyes instantly close and she leans into my touch. One hand reaching up to press against mine, sandwiching it between her palm and cheek.

“Please don’t cry, Bambi. You know I hate it when you cry.”

“Sorry. I can’t control it. The hormones make me cry over everything recently. A few days ago I cried because I ate a piece of pie that tasted good.”

I take a cautious step closer, almost close enough her belly bumps against mine. Leaning down I press my forehead to hers in a soothing motion, hoping to staunch her tears. She takes in a shuddering breath and allows me to comfort her, and myself.

The touch of her skin in my palms soothes more than her crying, but also the tangle of knots tied in my chest that starts to unravel, just a little.

“I thought you were never coming back,” she admits quietly as we stand together.

I lean away to look her in her glistening eyes, rubbing away more fallen tears with my thumbs.

“If you had told me you were pregnant, I would have returned months ago.”

And it’s true. No matter where I was in the world, who I was with, what I was doing or the cost of returning, I would have done it in a heartbeat. As it was, my soul was already crying out for my return. I was just too deaf to hear it.

“I couldn’t,” she admits, dropping her eyes to my chest. “This isn’t what you wanted. You wanted to travel and find a new life somewhere more exciting. This is literally the opposite of what you want. Trapped in a suffocating town, stuck with a pregnant girl you never wanted.”

I growl in frustration, lifting her chin with a crooked finger, forcing her to look me in the eye. I want her to believe every word that comes out of my mouth.

“I never said I didn’t want you, Bambi.”

I think she believes me. She sucks in a surprised breath but doesn’t pull away.

“But you also didn’t stay. I wasn’t enough.”

God fucking damn it. What kind of moron am I to have made her think so little of herself? She’s everything to me, without her I’m sure I would have died long ago. Though I never told her that. Maybe it’s time I explain my tattoo to her.

“You’ve always been enough, Bambi. I was the one who wasn’t worthy.”

Pulling out of her hold I pull my hoodie off over my head, my beanie catching on the material and pulling off with the sweatshirt. I toss it to the ground and reach for the hem of my shirt. Bambi’s eyes go wide but don’t look away. I preen a little at that.

“What are you doing?”

“Showing you how much you mean to me.”

“I may be pregnant with your child, and appreciate your body, but I don’t think now is the time, Warren.” She’s trying to scold me and sound stern, but her breath hitches a little when I strip off the shirt and stand bare chested in front of her. Every single one of my tattoos on display.

“Ha, so you admit it’s my child.”

She glowers at me, but I ignore it. Reaching out I grab her hand and place it flat on my chest right over my anchor tattoo, right over my heart. Her small hand is warm against my cool skin, and it nearly burns me. Her fingers twitch and brush against the inked skin.

“Do you remember when I got this tattoo?”

Her forehead pinches and she stares at it trying to recall when I came home with the piece. To be fair I hadn’t told anyone I had gotten it and it was already healed by the time she saw it.

“Um, I think I was twenty-one. You never did tell us why you got it. we just thought it was another for your growing collection.”

“I got it when you were dating that dipstick, Roy.”

Bambi quirks her head and briefly looks up at me. This close I can see every freckle on her pink cheeks, and I begin trailing a path across them like I have so many times before. Her face is so familiar and yet every time I look at her, I find something new to appreciate.

“Roy?”

“Yeah. It was your first serious relationship, and I wasn’t taking it well.

You’d always been my Bambi and here was some other guy taking you from me.

I knew I couldn’t have you, but I didn’t want to share you either.

So, I drew this anchor,” I pick up her finger and place it right where her name hides in the shapes and trace the letters one by one.

“Put your name in it and carved it into my chest right over my heart. Cementing a piece of you on me for eternity.”

Her lashes flutter as she leans closer to follow the path of her finger, her eyes widening when she finally realizes what’s been there all along right in front of her.

“B-A-M-B-I. Because you’re my Bambi. Everyone else gets Raelyn, but no one can have my Bambi.”

“How did I never see it before?”

“It’s easy for people to not see what’s right in front of them. I knew you were there the whole time and still never told you how I felt about you. Feel about you. I’m just as much to blame.”

I release her hand, but she doesn’t stop tracing the patterns, learning the new shape within.

“You’re my anchor, Bambi. You hold me steady when I want to drift in the waves. When I feel lost at sea, you are the one thing that anchors me in place and keeps me from losing my way. Although I fear I may have gotten lost for a time, once again you pulled me where I need to be.”

She pulls her bottom lip into her mouth and inspects my chest, quietly listening to me bare my entire fucking soul to her.

Please don’t say it’s too late. Please don’t make me leave again.

“Even so, you left. I can’t trust that you won’t leave again.

Leaving this town and everyone in it behind is all you’ve ever talked about since we were teenagers.

Why would I believe that now you will stay?

That anything has changed? Like you said yourself, you felt like this for me a long time ago.

If it wasn’t enough then, why is it enough now? ”

My confidence and hope crack a little at her words, but she’s right to question me.

I’ve been in love with her for so long and never done anything about it.

My feelings for her never stopped me from building my boat and sailing away at the first opportunity I got.

I kept her at arm’s length for years. I was a fool, and it’s only in getting what I always wanted that I realize it was never what I needed. I’m going to have to prove this to her.

Determination settles in my spine, because she didn’t say no, she didn’t turn me away. There’s still hope.

“Because now I’m seeing clearly. I’m not letting my past and my parents cloud my decisions any longer. I never thought my leaving would affect you so much. I was only focused on myself and getting away, thinking once I did everything would be better.”

“Was it?”

I reach up and cover her hand still resting on my chest, drawing strength from her touch.

“No. It was worse. I thought seeing the world would help me find my place in it. All it did was show me I’d already found my place and left it.”

Leaning down so we’re eye level, I reach out with my free hand and let it hover over her belly silently asking to touch her.

She nods and for the first time I reach out and touch our growing son inside her belly.

Feeling him move and shift within. I’m so dazed by him and her that I almost forget what I was going to say.

“I promise I will prove to you things are different. That the most important people in my life now are you and him. Everyone else can fuck off.”

My crass, but honest words make her chuckle. Her free hand cradling mine on her stomach. For the first time in my life I feel like I’m right where I should be.