Page 27 of Tides of Fate (Fated in the Stars #3)

Remember, you deserve good things.

Nix remembers Artem saying those words as Nix had dragged his broken body into the waiting room of the ER. He remembers thinking that if he did, he certainly hadn’t had many of those recently.

But now, while he still wonders why exactly his new friend Artem had thought that, Nix is glad he does.

Deserve good things, that is.

It’s one of those feelings he allows himself today, locking most of the others—the fear, anger, and even love—away in the box. His wolf is remarkably helpful today, too—feeding him bursts of calm and confidence to distract him.

It will hopefully make things much easier.

After the police had left so abruptly the first day, they had fallen into the nest, exhausted and anxious. They’d woken exhausted and even more irritable, except maybe Leo, who kept everyone moving around each other with kisses, jokes, and sometimes, even a firm hand (Rowan).

Most upsetting for Nix was that his usually calm soulmate was still off-kilter, even after their talk the night before, and Rowan couldn’t help but press his buttons.

It was a strange change to their dynamic. Where there had always been teasing and pestering, it had always been good-natured and …well, sexy , for lack of a better word.

Over the last few days, however, there seemed to be genuine frustration and low-key aggression. More often than not, it turned sexual too, with wrestling turned into spontaneous make-out sessions.

Luca said it was exactly like the enemies-to-lovers trope in his favorite fanfiction—whatever that meant.

Regardless, it set everyone on edge. It made breakfast and the trip to the field an exercise in bitten tongues and even more disappointed frowns from Jamie.

They’d arrived at the field at the same time the combat was scheduled the next day. Gideon had wanted to get a feel for the angle of the sun and gauge the wind, searching for any advantage to help Nix’s strategy.

Nix understood why—why Gideon needed to find a degree of control where everything was beyond his control. It made little difference to him because, in the end, there was only one thing Nix could control: himself.

He knew what had to be done, and no matter how this played out, one thing was certain—Hayes would be carried out of that arena, and he would never be a threat to Nix’s pack again.

The ancient arena was about a thirty-minute walk through the woods from the makeshift parking area, and already, the authorities had cordoned off areas for official personnel.

The ancient arena itself looked largely… unchanged .

Unchanged from what , Nix didn’t know, but something about it was familiar.

Maybe he’d seen photos at the library once, or maybe it was just that it looked similar to the hundreds of ancient amphitheaters around the world. Perhaps all those circles of stone and grass had similar ties to the Were community, too, and no one had made the connection yet.

It was beautiful in the early morning light, a small breeze blowing in the scents of the forest outside the high stands of stony, stadium-style seating. When they’d entered at one end, no one had stopped them as they spread out and walked the small field in a line—Nix, Gideon, and Jamie in the middle—under the watchful gaze of the guards standing off to the side.

They’d not even looked askance at Tsuki, who had stood to Nix’s right, between him and Gideon, never deviating and with her head held high.

The grassy field was only fifty square yards, and it took them less than a few minutes to cover the length of it. They broke apart into smaller groups then, and Jamie walked every inch himself, picking up stones and debris that might be used as a weapon before giving them to Rowan and Leo to ferry out of bounds.

Gideon offered tactical advice about the topography and angles, as well as how to use the walls to his advantage. Nix had no plans to drag this out long enough to need that, but he tried to pay attention and asked questions when he thought of them.

Mostly, though, he held Gideon’s hand and tried not to stare—because this Gideon was fire . A genius tactician who didn’t bother to hide his familiarity with violence, wrapped in a tall, muscled frame that looked unfairly good in jeans, a black T-shirt, and a black leather jacket.

Nix admitted to losing track of what was probably very good advice.

Grayson and Luca, however, had sat off to the side in the grass, with Tsuki’s head in Grayson’s lap. Luca offered tiny daisies to Grayson, who wove them into a delicate crown that looked lovely in Luca’s dark curls. He had taken on the job of subtly comforting the alpha, and Nix was so grateful because he was busy gradually locking his end of the bonds away, hoping they wouldn’t notice.

But Grayson’s mood had become even worse than the day before—grouchy and secretive, almost as if he could feel their soulbond fading, and Finn had taken a dose of headache meds before they’d left.

He hated it, but there was no choice—he didn’t want to transmit pain or fear along the bonds. The rules about interference were crystal clear, and Nix knew it wouldn’t be easy for his mates to let him step onto the field as it was.

Upon returning to the rental, Gideon, Le,o and Jamie had sequestered themselves in the study for hours after dinner last night, trying to come up with hypotheses about their second pressing concern: Patrick Carnell.

Gideon’s father—and an apparent psychopath.

Nix hadn’t even considered that Hayes wasn’t the scariest thing they needed to worry about, and frankly, he couldn’t think about it now. But Gideon and Jamie had sequestered themselves in the study for hours after dinner last night, trying to come up with hypotheses about why now .

Why was a trained sniper at their rental well before they arrived?

Why was he dead before they even arrived?

Why the interest in Nix?

Why, why, why?

There hadn’t been any easy answers—only frustration and a new level of hyper-vigilance. So, several hours later, Nix had dragged them both out for a pack puppy pile in the nest.

He hadn’t wanted to say it, but if he was going to die tomorrow—though he truly didn’t believe he would—then he wanted to spend his last night with the people he loved most.

Skin to skin, heart to heart, and soul to soul.

He runs his hand over his flat belly and allows himself a small smile.

A baby. A child of this amazing pack.

The tiny glimmers of gold swirl around his dimmed pack bonds, and they are so lovely. Nix wants to spend the whole day looking inward and watching them grow.

Before they’d fallen asleep, Nix had asked each of his mates to stay away. He knew they’d decline, but he also wanted to tell them it was okay—that he would understand. He knew they would insist that they were with him every step of the way, no matter how hard it would be.

It’s why he has to block the bond, after all.

He had planned to get up this morning to do the last bit of mental work alone, nailing his emotions down and practicing getting his scent locked up tight. He will not give Hayes the satisfaction of breathing in one more breath of his scent—or his child’s.

Pulling the familiar white sweater tightly around his shoulders, he creeps down to the main floor in the pale morning light, wrapped in the calming black currant scent. He’d found it in his bag this morning—a gift from Finn—and the thoughtful gesture had almost been enough to poke a hole in his emotional barricade.

The back door to the house is open a bit, and when he steps out onto the patio and looks over the railing, he can see Gideon down on the rocks beside the choppy waters of a gray lake, sitting cross-legged with Tsuki nearby. He’s shirtless despite the cold, dressed in loose-fitting yoga pants. The wind is harsh, blowing his hair around his bowed head.

Nix just watches as he stands, turning suddenly with unerring accuracy to make eye contact with him over the distance. Nix raises his hand, offering a smile, and Gideon just stares for a moment before loping up over the rocky, craggy shore until he’s standing, wild-eyed, on the patio.

“Kitten.”

He opens his arms, and Nix can’t remember when he’d wanted to be anywhere else.

Gideon wraps him up in an embrace—his skin is surprisingly hot.

“Look at me.”

Cool hands slide into Nix’s hair, and when he finally looks up, Gideon kisses him deeply. Nix lets himself get lost for a few moments and whines when his alpha pulls away.

“I love you, Gideon.”

He’s compelled to say it, and he’s rewarded with a genuine smile.

“I know,” Gideon says with a smile, and Nix has to pinch his butt in retaliation.

Gideon’s smile fades, suddenly becomes serious.

“Nix, my love, my mate—I love you, too.”

“I should say so. That’s more like it.” They stand just the two of them until the last of the moon fades from the sky, the sun rises fully, and Finn appears in the doorway, glasses in place and coffee already in hand.

Gideon squeezes his butt as he slips past him, after a last kiss on Nix’s forehead.

Finn comes out and offers Nix a sip, which he declines this time. The baby isn’t supposed to have coffee, right? He doesn’t bring it up because his Bean is the last thing he wants anyone thinking about today. Instead, he lifts Finn’s arm and slides underneath.

“Morning, Finnie,” he says finally.

Since they’d bonded, Nix had always greeted his mate with a mental inquiry, and Finn jerks at the question being suddenly asked out loud .

“Morning, Nix. You okay today?” He leans in and kisses Nix’s forehead, stopping to sniff his head and growling when he can’t smell him.

“Sorry, Finn. I just…I’m not giving him the satisfaction, and I need to be sure it’s locked down sooner than later.”

“I know. It’s okay.” It isn’t really, but it’s his way of saying he understands.

“I love you, Dr. Merritt,” Nix says and licks his cheek before he takes off toward the kitchen, where he smells bacon.

“Ew! Why? You are such a shit.” Finn chases him and catches him around the waist, swinging him around. “I love you, too,” he whispers into his ear before he squeezes him tight.

A low growl interrupts them, and Nix already knows it’s got to be Rowan.

Finn had said biological parents, especially alphas, often had a harder time controlling their territorial instincts.

Nix can empathize with that out-of-control feeling. It hasn’t been long since he felt those same urges around his new pack.

Rowan is sitting at the table, a hot cup of coffee in front of him, but he’s gripping the table and breathing deeply. His eyes are locked on them, and Finn freezes.

“It’s okay, Finn,” Nix whispers and pats his hand.

“You say that, but…” Finn shakes his head and heads into the kitchen to help Gideon with breakfast.

They’re leaving in an hour and should eat before then.

When he gets close enough, Rowan stops counting and opens his arms. Nix sits on his knee and runs his nose along Rowan’s ear.

He hasn’t talked to Rowan about the baby yet, and this isn’t the time, but he’s happy it’s Rowan’s. Not that he wouldn’t have been happy if it were one of the others, but it seems fitting that it’s theirs.

Nix would have been blind and stupid to miss how he and the young alpha are on a parallel journey.

While Nix is learning to be an omega, Rowan is learning to be an enigma.

They are different ends of the second-gender spectrum, but both have a wolf that speaks strongly through them.

Not to mention, there’s also that mind-blowing physical attraction .

Children are made of the heart, soul, and spirit. But first, they are made from the body, and that’s where he and Rowan have met most profoundly.

“Hey,” Nix says.

Rowan shakes his head, pushing the sweater’s neckline out of the way.

“Nixie,” he whines when he can’t catch his new scent. “Please.”

Nix had vowed he wouldn’t let his scent out in case it reflected fear or distress, and he couldn’t exactly feel his all of his emotions right now, so he didn’t know whether his vanilla was sweet or burnt.

But Rowan looks so forlorn.

“Okay, you big baby.”

So he lets it out, filling the space with warm vanilla and yeasty bread.

Relieved, he relaxes into Rowan’s hold and lets the alpha get as scent-drunk as he likes.

Gideon and Finn eventually bring him bacon and eggs. He lets Rowan feed him, indulging in the simple comfort of it—until his stomach warns him to stop. Too much, and it might not stay down.

Morning sickness hasn’t started yet; he’s not far enough along for that. But… Hayes has always made him sick.

“You’re going to be alright, Nix,” Rowan whispers into the back of his neck, sniffing along his hairline and down into his sweater.

It’s not a question but a manifestation, maybe.

“I will be, Ro.”

Once he’s free of this, he’ll be even better.

Tsuki comes around from under the table to nose at Rowan’s hand and receives a pat or two from Nix. He hates that he has to leave her behind today, but she seems unaffected so far.

Rowan sighs and nods, picking up the last of the bacon, rolling it into a napkin with one hand, and putting it in his pocket.

“For you, for later.”

He nods in self-satisfaction, and Nix is about to ask for an explanation when Jamie and Luca slink in.

Luca mouths love you and makes his way into the kitchen.

Jamie sits and stares at Nix like he’s memorizing his every pore. He’s got bags under his eyes, and while he’s freshly showered, he smells like a forest fire. He looks like he might have been crying as well.

“Jamie,” Nix says, pleading—for what, Nix doesn’t know. Forgiveness? Support? Understanding?

For a moment, he wishes he could change this just for Jamie. Not in the same way he’d felt at the church by the pond, but purely out of love—to help ease Jamie’s fears.

That he can’t makes his heart twinge, and some of his sadness seeps out of the box.

Kissing Ro on the lips and then on the nose, he climbs into Jamie’s lap so he can hold his cheeks and kiss him, too.

A sharp ache sets up under Nix’s breastbone as he kisses away the fresh tears on Jamie’s cheeks.

He doesn’t say I’m sorry or I love you . Nix just shows him what’s in his heart—regret for hurting him and a love that has lasted through the hardest times of Nix’s life.

There’s a commotion as Leo drags several tote bags through the living space toward the front door. He kisses Nix’s head and declares, “I’m with Nixie in the Merc. No, Rowan. Me. I am putting my foot down. Respect your elders.”

Rowan stomps off like the petulant teenager he most certainly is not.

Jamie just sighs and kisses Nix’s lips with the smallest lick of his slick tongue. It sends a jolt of pleasure down his spine, and Nix is thinking of going back in for more when Grayson comes in from outside, his cheeks pink with cold.

He must have come down from the primary suite’s balcony.

“I’m going to wrangle Ro. You go…” Jamie nods his head in Grayson’s direction, who’s now slouched down on the couch.

“Okay, lo—”

“No. We’re not doing that, Nix. It sounds too much like goodbye, and I am holding it together by the tiniest of threads. You tell me when you win this thing, and we’re free of that bastard once and for all. Got it?”

Jamie runs his thumb over Nix’s bottom lip and gives him the smallest smile before disappearing upstairs.

Pulling a blanket with him, Nix curls up against Grayson. He lays the blanket out over their laps while Grayson folds an arm over his shoulders and kisses his cheek.

One of the best things about being with Grayson is that he can just be , so Nix lets his soulmate’s heat warm him as his singed basil scent fills his nose.

They’re still sitting on the couch when the others come dressed and ready to go. They have to leave soon, or they’ll be late, and while Nix doesn’t think there’s a penalty, he does not want to find out.

He’s not nervous, exactly—that much he knows for sure. Maybe it’s anticipation because his wolf is ready and already pacing.

It suddenly occurs to him that maybe his soulmate isn’t coming with him today, as he’s still in his pajama pants and hoodie. Even Luca reluctantly wears a pair of cozy leggings under a big sweater. He’s adorable in a floppy hat and fuzzy mittens.

“Gray?” he whispers.

Grayson shakes his head and covers his eyes with his hands. “Can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

“Can’t watch him hurt you, Angel. I’m not strong enough to do it.”

He curls into Nix, folding himself small, his breath hitching in sobs that shake them both.

Nix hears the door close quietly after the others.

That’s not what Nix had expected—not at all.

Of course, it had always been possible that at least one of his mates would stay back—he asked them to, after all—and it makes sense that it’s sweet, sensitive Grayson.

It makes sense, but it doesn’t make it easy.

Nix rubs his nose along his ear and whispers, “It’s okay, my darling. It’s okay. I’ll see you when I get home, then?”

That fissure that had wavered for the sweater and cracked open for Jamie now opens even further, and he is even more grateful he locked his scent back under wraps.

The door opens again. They’ve sent Finn to be the bearer of bad news .

“Nix, we have to go, or we’ll be late. Sorry.”

Nix nods and then kisses Grayson’s cheek. “Love you, Gray. I’ll be back soon.”

He’s almost out the door when he hears Finn say, “Gray, he needs you there. I believe you can do this. If not for yourself, then for him. Don’t leave him out there with a piece of him missing.”

Finn offers Nix his arm after closing the door and helps him into the back of the white Mercedes, where Leo is waiting. Finn gets into the black sedan, but they don’t start up the drive right away.

“Gray?” Leo whispers.

Nix just shakes his head. It hurts, and even though he’s locked the bonds down, it’s impossible to shut out half of his soul completely.

“We should go,” he murmurs, hiding his face in Leo’s sturdy shoulder, wrapping his hands around his biceps so he can knead the muscle for comfort.

“Give him one more minute, baby boy,” Jamie says.

They wait and wait, and finally, Gideon starts up the drive.

Jamie turns to follow, and then the black sedan’s brake lights flash on. Grayson slams his hand on the roof of the Mercedes, opens the back door, and squeezes in beside Nix, pushing him over into Leo.

“I’m sorry, Angel.”

Nix is so relieved he can’t form words of reassurance, so he nods and slumps into his shoulder with a sigh.

Gideon honks his horn, and they’re finally on their way.