Page 12 of Tides of Fate (Fated in the Stars #3)

(Rewind)

He hadn’t expected to see Nix and Luca for dinner—not after he’d found them under the bed, his bond burning with fear and shame.

Jay wanted to crawl under there and siphon off some of their emotions into his chest, where he could shield them from the worst of it. But that’s how Jay got into this emotional-alpha tsunami in the first place, so he’d pushed the urge down, letting Gideon drag him out—feet first—with one last look at his mates. He had managed what he’d hoped was a supportive wave and pulled the door closed.

It had felt bad, but sometimes the right thing felt like the wrong thing.

Or something like that.

The others had trooped down to the main level, where Jay had corralled them into a group hug—the hug he couldn’t give the other two—so it had been extra squeeze-y.

Even Gideon had clamped a hand on the back of his neck and whispered, “Good Alpha,” before breaking free and dragging the others to the kitchen to ferry dishes to and from the table.

Jay hadn’t wanted a birthday party, never comfortable when celebrations were about him. Too much up-close attention, when all he wanted was to be happy with his family.

To maybe celebrate finally being free of the company that may have opened their career doors but now made sure they controlled how and when they went through them. It was suffocating, and the lack of support for the impending court case had been the last fucking straw .

Tomorrow, Long Road Home will meet with Margot Duponte at the PR firm Soleil. Margot had arranged a meeting with a potential new manager, and Jay couldn’t help but hope this was the beginning of a new chapter in their lives—one where they could make the music they’d always dreamed of without the other pressures Ripley Records always brought to bear.

But for now, despite the persistent twinge of the bond around his heart, Jay would try to enjoy his mates and eat his favorite dish.

Getting older wasn’t so bad, despite the teasing jokes to the contrary.

“Mmm,” Gideon says, dropping into his seat on Jay’s left.

“Hey, love. Thanks for putting all this together.” He is grateful, and he’s determined to enjoy it, even if the two empty seats rub his wolf the wrong way.

“Wasn’t me. I just cooked. Grayson and Nix did the rest.”

The room looks amazing. There’s a rainbow of balloons in an arc over the windows at the back of the room. A birthday banner, hand-painted with stick figures of eight people holding hands. If Jay squints, he can see tiny colored hearts inked on their t-shirts (None of them are wearing pants).

The banner almost hides the plywood they’d used to cover the shattered glass from Jay’s meltdown when he’d discovered Nix missing. He’s lost his temper more times in the last week than he has in his whole lifetime, and it feels shitty to be so out of control.

“Still, you keep everyone moving in whatever direction we need to, and this is my favorite meal.”

Jay kisses his cheek just to see Gideon’s ears turn pink.

The ragu is savory, and the beef is always cooked to perfection, while the homemade pasta melts in his mouth. Gideon had created the recipe for Leo to cook on his own last year when the beta had insisted he could cook after bouts of teasing from Finn and Rowan (who couldn’t cook, either).

It had been aptly named Don’t Fuck It Up Ragu, and Leo had, in typical Leo cooking-fashion, fucked it up.

But Jay had eaten the burnt, chewy beef and gummy pasta and told his mate how much he’d loved it. He’d been the only one, but Jay took his responsibilities seriously as a mate and as Pack Alpha, and encouraging a learning mate was one of them. He hadn’t been sick for more than ten hours afterward. Jay counts the radiant smile on Leo’s face to be a reward worth the price he’d paid.

“You think he’s okay?” Jay whispers it behind his glass of wine, and they both know who he’s talking about, even though, of course, he cares for Luca’s well-being too.

It’s just that Nix has been fragile since Jay blew the lid off his beloved’s hard-earned confidence. The crash had been hard. Just thinking about what else he’s holding back makes Jay’s stomach rebel, and he takes a sip of water instead of wine to help keep it down.

It’ll be a long time before Jay can make that up to him, but it will not stop him from trying.

“I think he will be. There will be some breaks in his armor over the next few days, especially. But we’ve got our shit together now.”

Gideon puts more pasta on Jay’s plate, but Jay can still smell his calming rain scent. One of Jay’s favorite things about his quixotic mate is his ability to be soothing one moment and dangerously intense the next.

“I fucked up so bad, but I’m on it now. Thank the Goddess that he still loves me,” he says as he watches Grayson empty the second bottle of wine into Rowan’s glass while he’s not looking, busy wrestling the second bowl of pasta away from Leo.

Jay revels for a minute in the status quo—in the copious amounts of noise and laughter.

Checking on Finn crosses his mind.

Jay has always thought of him as quietly chaotic—not the loudest shit-disturber, but always one to get the last laugh. He’d been unusually quiet, just picking at his pasta in between forced smiles and missed opportunities to mock Jay’s age.

Several minutes had passed since Finn disappeared into the bathroom. If Jay was not mistaken, he’d been crying off and on all week—slipping through Jay’s periphery like a ghost. Hopefully, the avoidance wasn’t intentional—just the result of a week packed with tough emotions.

At first, he assumed it was worry over Nix’s upcoming— nope , not thinking about that any more than he had to. But Luca had said little about it earlier on their way to Ripley. He’d implied Finn was going through something hard and that if or when he could, Luca would tell Jay everything.

There’s a pang of sadness in his chest, as Finn has always come to Jay when he needs it, but he can’t help but feel he’s lost track of something important. Just as Jay rises to his feet to check anyway, the bathroom door opens. Finn isn’t quick enough with the fake smile for Jay to miss how sad his mate is.

Well, fuck.

“Hey, baby. Everything alright?” Jay asks as Finn resumes his seat to Jay’s right.

Finn nods in response, but he throws back his wine and starts eating with a new focus that prevents any conversation.

Okay, then . Jay might beard the lion in his den after tonight’s festivities are over and see if he can help. He won’t push, but if Finn has been avoiding him, maybe he just needs to be reminded that Jay can be there for him no matter what.

Before he knows it, he’s running his hand over Finn’s soft hair and whispering, “Okay, puppy. But you’ll come tell me when you’re ready, yeah?”

His mate pauses the chewing and gives the tiniest nod, so Jay knows that his mate has heard him.

Jay digs into his meal, basking in his family’s shenanigans because the Goddess knows what Gideon has planned for later.

He has always had a fondness for his mates in fancy clothes, most especially dress shirts and form-fitting dress pants. He’d once told Jay it was the thought of ripping shirts off, with buttons flying everywhere, that got him going—and Jay has four button-less shirts in a pile for the tailor from before they found Nix to prove it.

Life has settled into a before and after —before Nix came back to them, and after.

He will forever remember that day as the best and worst day of his life, and Jay thinks there might be more coming. It has him thinking about his mates hiding away from the world under the bed again and wondering if he could slip away from Gideon while he’s busy teasing Leo—until a door opens upstairs.

And like they’ve all been waiting for just this sign, they fall silent.

Gideon is around the table and holding Rowan down in the blink of an eye, with a firm grip on his ear.

“Ow!” the bigger alpha shouts at being caught, more than the actual discomfort.

“Rowan, sit. They don’t need you ambushing them on the stairs. Just give them a minute.”

He’s speaking to Rowan, but he makes eye contact with them all, one by one. He wouldn’t have had to because Jay’s mates are well aware, from Grayson’s earlier comments, that Nix may not be himself.

Or maybe this is him being himself—the “self” he is after Hayes—remade into something he’s only just figuring out.

Tsuki is first to enter the room, and she beelines toward Finn to lick his hand, and then, as Gideon sits, she licks him too, circumventing Jay entirely.

Tsuki hasn’t paid Jay any mind since she arrived, except he does sometimes find her staring at him from across the room. She doesn’t shift her eyes away as most animals do in Jay’s presence, so that’s a novelty.

He was told once that it was because they recognized him as an apex predator, and fine, that had felt weird to hear, but it had always proven true. So, imagine his surprise when Tsuki hadn’t been the first one to look away.

His thoughts are interrupted when Nix and Luca enter from the right wing, dressed in Jay’s clothes and looking emotionally bruised around the edges. His hand tightens around the fork, and the warm metal bends slightly in his grip as their sadness burns in his gut.

He doesn’t push the feeling away but lets it bloom—proof of just how much he’s hurt Nix, even without meaning to.

Unable to hold the instinct back, Jay is out of his seat, narrowly missing Gideon’s grasping fingers so he can greet them as soon as they’re near enough. He hears a grumble behind him, and it’s more than worth Gideon’s ire when Nix gives him a soft smile. There’s a flood of relief that they’re both here, where he can see them.

“Hi, Jamie. Happy birthday,” Nix whispers, and even though it’s been hard, it really is the best birthday he’s had in a decade. He hopes there will be more.

“Hey, come eat some ragu, yeah?” he says.

Nix lets Luca lead him away, and there’s a tiny pang in his chest that Nix won’t be sitting with him for dinner as they’d made a habit of doing. But there’s no way he’ll be the cause of any guilt his mate feels for choosing to be independent.

Finn offers him another refill of his wine as he picks up his fork. “You okay there, big alpha?”

“I’m okay. Maybe you want to sit with me instead?” Jay jokes, just to see his mate’s red-rimmed eyes widen.

“You wish,” Finn whispers, red-cheeked, and it’s enough to make him laugh.

“That I do. You just tell me when, and I’ll break the news to Nix.”

Finn snorts, catching their omega’s eye, and blows him a kiss.

Jay lets the conversation flow around him, and he sees Nix doing much the same. He tries to be unobtrusive about his surveillance while he eats his birthday dinner. It’s easy to enjoy himself now that they’re all here, and even though they certainly won’t be spending this birthday like he’d spent it last year, this is just as good.

Gideon had pivoted, letting them know there would be a change in plans, and the games were tamer than usual. No one had complained—well, maybe Rowan had balked a bit, but Leo had stepped in and whispered something that made Rowan close his mouth so fast that he mimed zipping it up and throwing away the imaginary key.

Jay spots Grayson leaning in to whisper conspiratorially in Nix’s ear.

“I’m glad you came for dinner, Angel. We’re playing some fun games after dinner. I need an emotionally intelligent and creative partner.”

“Hey! I’m the birthday boy. I get to choose my team first.” He’s only joking a little bit, and he’s not ashamed to bring some pressure to bear.

“Hey, I’m the youngest, and I always choose first. You said, Jay. That’s your rule.”

They start to bicker, and Jay watches as Nix looks from face to face around the table. He eventually meets Jay’s eyes and gives him a tiny wave and smile.

Jay mouths, “You okay, baby boy?”

A pink blush suffuses his cheeks, and he tilts his head and mouths, “Yes, Daddy,” right back with a wink.

Jay can’t help but smile so big his cheeks hurt from the effort.

Gideon steps in with a loud whistle that makes Finn jump and Tsuki pops her head up from under Nix’s end of the table.

“Alright, you heathens, listen up. Geminis, Cancer, and the birthday Libra on one team, and the rest of us on the other. Now, please clear the table. Shoo.”

There’s a chorus of complaints and cheers, but Jay rubs his hands together and kisses him on the cheek in thanks.

“Don’t get used to it, handsome. It’s your birthday present. Not what I had planned, but there’s always my birthday coming up.”

Shit. November 15 was right around the corner. Where would they be then?

“Fuck, that’s soon.”

Gideon knows exactly what he means: their trip into the mountains to scout Gideon’s land for their new mountain house.

“Hey, so we don’t go. We can cancel and go next year.”

Gideon’s rain scent is carefully controlled so as not to tip Jay off to his disappointment.

“Hey, no, don’t do that.”

They’d planned to rent a house in the Smokies and check out the land Gideon’s mother had owned before she’d passed. Gideon hadn’t been back to the site since she’d died, even though he and Luca had stayed nearby for their “run.”

Gideon had proposed that he might like to build them something permanent for vacations and ruts…and now heats. The idea that they could run during their cycles had been met with enthusiasm. It had seemed to be the perfect time before the weather turned cold and LRH’s album promotions in the new year.

But now, with the trial and combat around the corner, they might not get away after all.

“Listen, we can wait until the very last minute and decide.”

“What about the Phoenix Rising announcement? It’s bad timing, Alpha—the worst.”

Jay wants to argue, but he can’t. He can only beg his mate not to give up on this dream yet.

“I don’t fucking care, Gideon. If we are clear of Hayes by then, we will go. You are our priority, and I want to do this. Gray is almost done with the design, I think?”

Or he had been, until a few weeks ago. He’d been understandably distracted lately. They all had. “Don’t count it out yet.”

“You think the trial and the verdict will be in and done in two weeks? We haven’t even heard from our legal team.”

There’s an unholy shriek from the kitchen as Luca flies by with Nix in tow, Tsuki barking up a storm. Luca’s tank top is soaked, and Nix whips off his hoodie and then his tank top so he can give it to the shivering Luca.

Jay doesn’t know what happened, but both his boys are virtually naked, and he thinks maybe Rowan had been right to balk at the change of the evening’s sexy plans—just for a minute.

He might have whined at the thought before Gideon pinches his nipple.

“Ow, fuck. What was that for?”

“You are pumping out come-hither-and-fuck-me pheromones, and Nix is not in the right frame of mind to turn you down or accept. So quit it before you make it harder for the rest of us.”

Fuck, he really was—so much so that Gideon’s ears are pink, and there’s a sheen of sweat on his forehead.

So far, Nix was limiting his physical contact to just Luca, and even with Grayson’s warning, it was hard to rein in his desire for his mates. It’s as natural as breathing. Jay can honestly say restraint is not a word that has ever applied to the Rhodes pack sex life—outside of Grayson’s personal preference, Leo’s literal restraint kink, and Gideon’s teachings…well, maybe it applies. Duh .

“I can’t blame you, though. Come on, let’s stake out our cuddles before the hellions finish in the kitchen,” Gideon says as he pushes him toward the living room and away from the table.

Nix is straddling Luca’s lap with his head on his mate’s shoulder while Luca murmurs something and rubs Nix’s smooth thighs.

Instead of going in for a cuddle, Jay sits where he can have the best view.

Gideon lies down and puts his head on Jay’s thigh, eyes on Nix and Luca too, a gentle smile on his beautiful mouth.

Jay loves Gideon when he’s brash and controlling, but when he’s soft and loving? It always makes him swoon.

There’s chaos in the kitchen, and a fight breaks out with Leo screeching about the flammable nature of his new hair products, followed by Finn’s maniacal laugh.

Gideon just sighs. He must have determined that it can’t be too serious, but he still sits up just in case.

“You don’t pay me enough for this, James Rhodes.”

Jay’s treasure must say this a hundred times a week.

“I know, love. I promise to make it up to you.”

“Oh really? I seem to recall you owe me already.” The low growl sends a shiver down his spine. Gideon is referring to his knockout when Nix burst in and took the door down with Rowan hot on his heels.

“What?! No way! I was distracted, and that KO was not entirely you.” Jay can hardly be blamed for not watching Gideon’s left hook.

“Still counts. I hit you, and you went down. KOs are automatic wins.”

Jay is saved from having to admit defeat in what is always a win-win when Finn arrives, singing Happy Birthday and carrying the most delicious-looking chocolate cake, topped with berries and shredded chocolate.

There are also what looks to be enough candles to light Jay’s eyebrows on fire, and it’s surprisingly hot when he blows them all out in one breath and a single wish.

Please help him heal .

Perhaps it’s not as much a wish as it is a prayer.

When Jay opens his eyes, he meets Nix’s through the wisps of smoke curling from the candles. Their bond warms, flooding with love, and the sudden intensity pricks tears behind his eyes. Nix smiles—as if he knows exactly what Jay wished for.

He can’t be sure how long they’ve been gazing at each other when Finn steals a piece of chocolate off the top of the cake, right from under his nose.

“Did you make this, Gideon? It’s beautiful.”

Sugared raspberries and blueberries dot the top, and now that the candles aren’t blinding him ( thank you for that, Finn ), he can see the cake is covered in a multitude of rainbow-colored sprinkles—in red and pink, magenta and blue, green, turquoise, and purple. And maybe even the softest, palest yellow.

Luca pushes the plates toward him while Leo looks ready to scoop the vanilla ice cream.

Gideon serves it up, and within minutes, Jay is handed a slice. He moans with his first bite, the rich flavor melting on his tongue.

The couch cushion dips beside him, and he catches the scent of the sweetest vanilla.

“Is it good?” Nix asks shyly, his voice barely rising above the hum of pleased moans around the room.

Did Nix bake for him?

He’d forgotten how much his mate had loved baking when they were kids—brownies and cookies had always been Jay’s favorites from Nix’s repertoire.

Holding up a forkful of his birthday cake, he offers it with a smile.

“It’s delicious, baby boy. Will you share with me?”

Jay is mesmerized as Nix just opens his mouth, trusting him to feed him, while he slides his toes under Jay’s pant leg. The butterflies in Jay’s belly swoop and swirl.

“It’s good. Gideon is so talented.”

“Kitten, I only cleaned up after you. You did all the work—and the decorating, too.” Gideon pops a bite into his own mouth before feeding another to Luca, who is sitting on the floor at his feet.

“I put the candles on, Gideon,” Rowan complains.

Grayson laughs. “You counted past ten, Ro! Way to go.”

Rowan lunges, locking Grayson in a headlock for his sass, plates clinking as they jostle. Tsuki barks, trying to lick Rowan’s face, and the whole scene dissolves into chaos.

“Alright, thank you to everyone. For cooking, cleaning, baking, and decorating. And yes, thank you for counting all those candles, Rowan—and for not setting Leo’s new hair products on fire.”

Jay places his now-empty plate on the coffee table as Nix licks the fork.

“Thank you all for loving me. I promise to keep trying to earn it.”

He’s tackled by Nix first, soft, wet kisses covering his face. Luca, never one to be left out, joins in next, and soon all seven of his mates are piled on top of him on the couch. Tsuki barks and chases her tail, delighted by the chaos.

Jay is just about to ask for a repeat of this in the nest tonight—a late birthday gift worth every second—when his cell phone rings.

He can’t reach it, trapped under the weight of his mates, so they reluctantly climb off. It’s on the fourth ring when he sees who it is, and his face must drop because the room stills.

“Hello, Erin. You’re on speaker with the pack. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Jay, I’m sorry to interrupt your evening so late, but I wanted to let you know as soon as possible. Hello, everyone. Nix, it’s still okay with you that I discuss your case with your entire pack?”

Grayson tightens his arms around Nix, who lifts his head from his mate’s neck. His voice is soft but steady. “Thank you, Erin. Yes, that’s fine.”

“The court has set a date.” A pause. Then— “Three days from today.”

Jay’s breath stutters.

“I know it’s sooner than we expected,” Erin continues, her voice measured. “The defense has been exerting some pressure, and an unexpected opening in Judge Tanisha Patel’s schedule made it possible.”

Leo leans forward. His voice is calm and logical. “That’s good, right?”

“We think so,” Erin says. “Mr. Costas confirms this is the best possible outcome, and it’s why we haven’t pushed back on the tight turnaround. This judge has the best track record in cases like this—especially Human/Were Alliance transition cases.”

These kinds of cases.

She means domestic abuse , and they all know it.

Jay’s eyes sweep over his mates. No one speaks, but their emotions are palpable, crackling through the bond like static electricity. The spectrum of reactions is stark—Grayson looks positively green, his grip white-knuckled on the edge of the table, while Rowan’s face is flushed red with barely contained fury.

It’s not like they have to worry about a guilty verdict. That’s never been in question. But even so, the trial will be a bad fucking time. A brutal, drawn-out parade of trauma in front of strangers. And way too soon.

Finn voices what they’re all thinking. “We’re still not worried about the verdict, though, for any reason, are we?”

“Not at all,” Erin assures him. “It’s not a matter of guilt—we’re only arguing sentencing. The defense has submitted multiple motions for leniency. I won’t bore you with the legal minutiae, but you don’t need to worry about that. We have our own witnesses prepared should we need them. And, of course, we’ll be presenting our sentencing requests, as we previously discussed.”

A beat of silence.

Then, Nix—quiet, steady, but carrying a weight in his voice that makes Jay’s heart lurch.

“I still need to testify, Erin? You said it would…help.”

“We can’t be sure you’ll be asked, but yes. It would help,” Erin confirms gently. “Especially if we want the judge to rule in favor of the Omega Precedent.”

Jay’s throat tightens.

“But there’s always the possibility that it won’t be necessary,” Erin continues. “Are you still intending to proceed as your alpha’s proxy?”

Say no.

Say no and be happy about it .

Jay doesn’t say it out loud. Of course, he doesn’t.

He’s learned his fucking lesson. Over and over.

He will not fuck it up now.

But if his mate chooses this, then Jay will stand behind him.

Nix meets his gaze, and it’s like he knows exactly what Jay is thinking. Their bond burns bright, surging with love and something that feels an awful lot like hope.

He’s not asking for permission. He’s asking for support.

And all Jay can do is give it.

He offers a small smile, a subtle nod of encouragement.

“Y–yes. I am.”

There it is. Said and done.

Erin doesn’t miss a beat. “Alright. Then I’ll email Dr. Merritt with the instructions, and we’ll meet that morning to go over strategy.”

Jay forces his voice steady. “Thank you, Erin. We’ll see you in three days?”

“You will. Try to rest.” A pause. “It’ll all be over soon.”

The call ends.

The silence is thick.

Jay doesn’t know why Erin’s parting words land like a stone in his chest. But they do. And from the way his mates shift uneasily, he’s not the only one who caught it.

She hadn’t meant for it to sound dire. But the bond is a live wire of anxiety, and there’s no hearing it any other way.

“Well, happy fucking birthday, Jay,” Rowan grits out.

Jay lets out a slow breath, rubbing at his temple. “It’ll be okay. They’ve got it under control. We’ll meet with them beforehand.”

He says it like he believes it.

And maybe—for Nix’s sake—he does.

He badly wants to believe it.

He pumps out a calming scent, hoping to counteract the distressed mocha from Luca and the sharp alcoholic rum from Rowan. But it’s not enough. Not when the air is still missing the warmth of sweet vanilla—not when it’s thick with the unmistakable scent of fresh tears .

Nix’s tears.

“Come here, baby boy.”

Nix leaps into his arms without hesitation, colliding with Jay’s chest with enough force to bowl him over. Jay falls back against Gideon’s waiting arms, cradling Nix against him.

“Shhh. It’s okay. You’re alright.”

He adjusts Nix on his chest, anchoring him there, letting him cry freely into his shirt.

Leo shifts closer, lifting Jay’s legs over his own, one soothing hand slipping under the leg of his pants to rub circles into his calf. Luca presses in against Gideon’s side, threading gentle fingers through Nix’s hair.

Grayson drags Finn and Tsuki over so they can nestle against Nix from the floor, their warmth a silent reassurance. And Rowan? He just throws himself along the back of the couch, draping across them like a grossly oversized cat.

No one speaks.

Because what could they say?

Jay just holds him—they all do.

Because Erin was right.

It’ll all be over soon.