Page 3 of This Time Around

I kept myself together for the few blocks to my house and didn’t release the torrent of tears I’d felt building all day until I was safely behind closed doors. My rescue kitty, Alli Cat, scowled at me when she entered the kitchen and found me sitting against the door, sobbing my broken heart out. It was hours past her dinnertime, but she put aside her hunger to comfort her pathetic human.

I held her against my chest, and her loud purrs rumbled through me, bringing me comfort. Once I got my crap together, I fed my best girl and took myself upstairs to my bedroom. I wanted to curl up on my bed and sleep away my misery, but there was no way I was climbing between the sheets smelling like Andy Mason.

I took a long, hot shower, eagerly washing away all traces of my shameful behavior. Then fresh tears started up again because I couldn’t believe how stupid I was for falling into his arms so easily. Falling? Ha! I launched myself into his arms.Damn it, Milo. The man disappeared without a trace and you jump his cock without even demanding an explanation? At least make the man work for it!

By the time I got out of the shower, I had several text messages from concerned people who’d heard that Andy was back in town. I just sent the same message to everyone:I’m fine. Thank you.Well, all except Faith, who received:Some best friend you are! You could’ve given me a hint that he was coming back home.

Switzerland,was her reply.

Is he really back for good?I asked.

Um…

Didn’t she know, or was she trying to think of ways to soften the blow? I stared at her one-word reply for a few moments, trying to figure it out. If he wasn’t going to stick around, she would’ve said so.

Fuck me!I replied.

Sloppy seconds just aren’t my style,Faith fired back.Love you, Milo. That will never change.

Love you too. Kinda. Sorta. Maybe.

I set my phone on the wireless charger and turned out the lights. I expected to fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, but instead, my brain regurgitated every memory Andy and I had ever made, including the sexy new one from earlier that evening. I shivered beneath the covers even though I wasn’t cold. It wasn’t a fever that racked my body either, it was pain. I thought that I was over Andy Mason and didn’t anticipate that seeing him, or hearing his voice, would impact me like it used to. I was so fucking wrong.

I also needed Faith to be wrong about Andy’s intention of staying in Blissville. While I was happy for his family, who had missed him dearly, I didn’t think I could handle the upheaval he brought into my orderly world. My momentary lapse in judgment from that night only served as a taunting reminder of the happiness and pleasure I could find in Andy’s arms if only I could trust him again.

Trust wasn’t something I gave away; it had to be earned. I might’ve given my ass up way too easily, but that was a mistake I wouldn’t make again, no matter how much he tempted me. That filthy, alley fuck was the last time Andy’s dick would kiss my ass until he explained to me where the hell he’d been all these years.Yeah!No more angry fucks and mind-blowing orgasms that rocked me to the core.

I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed, revitalized, and ready to resist Andy’s charms. It was a tad bit presumptuous of me to think that he would seek me out again, but I didn’t exactly discourage him with my slutty behavior the previous night. The Brew was so busy on weekday mornings with the workforce zombies shuffling in to caffeinate themselves before taking on the world that I didn’t have time to worry about my reaction to seeing Andy the morning after.

Like the day before, I felt his presence before I saw him. That was enough to irritate me, because I didn’t want tofeelanything for Andy. Not joy from seeing his bright-blue eyes, not lust to feel his arms around me again, and certainly not longing to know who he’d become while he was gone. This ache he created inside me needed to disappear, and fast. The only way to do that was to show him I wasn’t interested in picking up where we left off—not twelve years ago when he left town, and certainly not the night before when he fucked the logic and sense right out of me.

Contrary to recent actions, I was no longer the impulsive Milo he used to know. Best he learned that right away.

“Good morning,” Andy practically purred when he reached the counter. “I’ll have my very big chai latte, but I’d like to get two muffins also. I’m famished this morning.”

Don’t do it, Milo.Don’t take the bait.“What flavors would you like, Andy? Perhaps a chocolate chip with a sprinkling of regret or blueberry with a dusting of that-ain’t-ever-happening-again?”

I expected euphoria to flow through my body like endorphins after a good cardio workout when Andy’s hopeful smile slid off his face, but all I felt was sadness. A spark of something else flared in Andy’s eyes. It wasn’t quite happiness or hope; it was something else. A wry grin slowly spread across his face, and I recognized exactly what I saw: Challenge.

Andy’s eyes said, “Game on.”

Milo thought he could hide his attraction to me behind his smart mouth?Regret and it ain’t happening again, huh? We’ll just see about that.

“What’s that sprinkled on the lemony muffin? It looks an awful lot like I’ll take that challenge. What about this one?” I pointed to one that looked to have cranberries and oranges in it. “I’m thinking it’s dusted with I’m-not-going-anywhere.” I looked over at Milo’s twin sister, Maegan, who was smiling from ear to ear as she joined us. “What do you recommend, Mae?”

“My personal favorites are the banana Milo’s-nuts-are-in-a-twist and he’s-met-his-match mixed berry,” she responded, earning a glare from her brother. “Take your pick, Andy. They’re on the house this morning.”

I chose the lemon poppy seed and cranberry orange because I’d meant what I said. I accepted his challenge, and I was in town to stay. I wouldn’t say that I won our skirmish, but I at least held my own and lived to fight another day. A smart man would’ve let that be enough, taken his bounty, aka free muffins, and left with a smile on his face. I’d been told I had more brawn than brains plenty of times in my life, so it didn’t surprise me when I planted my ass at a small round table where I could keep an eye on Milo.

I tried not to be too obvious that I was watching him from under my eyelashes instead of reading the newspaper I had open in front of me.

“Pssst, you might have a better chance convincing him you’re reading if the paper wasn’t upside down,” Josh Roman whispered sassily.

Sure enough, the paper was turned upside down the entire time. An embarrassed flush crept up my neck, but I didn’t let that stop me from standing up and greeting Josh with a hug. “It’s good to see a friendly face.”

“You too, Andy. How are you really?” Josh asked, assessing me. “What’s going on with your hair?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, running my hand over my hair. It was tidy, which wasn’t the case the previous night after Milo fisted it while we kissed and fucked.