Page 27 of This Time Around

“Coach called me into his office one day and issued an ultimatum: I could get my act together or he’d personally turn me in to the athletic director himself. My grades were good and fucked by that point, but it wasn’t like I could play with my bum shoulder, so he made it clear I had time to get my head out of my ass for the sophomore season. He wanted to call my parents, but I promised him that I would straighten up. Then Coach personally made sure I attended my physical therapy sessions and got me a tutor for the classes I was failing.”

“He sounds like a great guy, Andy.”

I nodded, but knew he’d be singing a different tune in a minute. “Coach became more than someone who blew a whistle during drills and yelled at me. He became the only person on the planet who knew I struggled and still cared about me. He was my friend. He also became my lover.”

Wait for it…

“That fucker,” Milo hissed. “He preyed on your loneliness and sadness. You might’ve been an adult, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t take advantage of you.”

“I know that you and I are not going to agree on Coach’s roll in my life, but will you please listen to the rest of the story before you judge him too harshly? He didn’t just jump me one day in his office. It was something that gradually developed between us over time.”

“How old was he, Andy?”

“What difference does that make?” I asked. “I was a consenting adult.”

“He was a person who abused his position of power. As your coach, he held your future in his hands along with your dick. I don’t care how old you were, it was wrong. But, I want to know just how creepy this fucker was.”

“He was thirty-two.”

“You’re thirty-two. Tell me, would you enter a sexual relationship with an eighteen-year-old? You know what? It’s not even so much about the age to me, Andy. He took advantage of you during a vulnerable time and that really makes me angry.”

“Is that part of you listening without judgment?”

Milo bit into his trembling bottom lip. I could tell he was trying to pull himself together. “Baby, I’m not judging you.Heshould’ve known better. I get that you’re sexy as fuck, but he broke the bonds of trust, Andy. This isn’t porn where it’s hot when the professor and college student get it on. You would face real-life consequences if word got out, and I assumed that’s what happened.”

I nodded. “We got caught by a teammate who reported it to the athletic director and the dean. Obviously, Coach was fired—”

“As he should’ve been,” Milo interrupted. “They didn’t try to expel you, did they?”

“At first, they tried to talk me into leaving the school. They said it was best for me since the rumors had circulated. My parents didn’t agree and hired a lawyer.”

Milo whistled. “They weren’t prepared for Mama Mason, were they?”

I snorted. “Not at all. In hindsight, leaving would’ve been better for me. No one had the balls to say anything to my face, but they didn’t hesitate to leave hateful messages outside my dorm or locker. My roommate insisted on reassignment because I was a pervert who couldn’t be trusted. It was my first real run-in with homophobia, and the one person I came to count on was gone.”

“Coach abandoned you completely?”

“It was part of the agreement between the attorneys, the school, and me. I was to have no further contact with him. Depression hit me with the strength of a tsunami, Milo. I’d somehow managed to keep my pain pill addiction hidden from Coach while—”

Milo snorted. “Somehow? Honey, it was easy for him to overlook it when he was so focused on fucking up your life and his career. Then abandoned you when things got tough forhim.”

“Milo, you’re not being fair to him.”

“Let’s just agree to disagree about precious Coach,” Milo said. “We’ll move on, and I’ll spend the rest of my life undoing all his mind-fuckery.”

I loved that Milo had pretty much agreed to spend the rest of his life with me, but I had barely scraped the surface of my relationship with Coach.

“There’s more to the story, isn’t there?” he asked hesitantly. I nodded. “Lay it on me, Slugger. I can take it.”

“Pain pills and alcohol aren’t a great mix. I passed out in a diner about thirty minutes from school. I don’t even remember how I got there, Milo. I was fucked up. I don’t know why the waitress didn’t call the cops, but she called the last number I had dialed on my cell phone instead.”

“Coach?”

I nodded. “I apparently called and texted him when I got high. He avoided me. I don’t know what finally made him answer my call, but he did. Then he took me back to his house and let me sober up. The next morning, he drove me to an NA meeting and that began my long journey back to sobriety.”

“It didn’t happen overnight, huh?”

“Not even close,” I admitted. “The first thing I did was leave my toxic environment. My parents weren’t too excited when I dropped out of college and moved into Coach’s guest room. God, Milo, they were so fucking pissed when they first found out about the affair. They rallied around me when the school tried to fuck me over, but I had disappointed them so much. Our relationship was strained afterward, and it only added to my isolation. They eventually came around when they realized my relationship with Coach was purely platonic by that point. Coach remained my good friend and helped me through the darkest time of my life. He gave me a roof over my head, helped me get clean and stay that way, and he got me a job with his brother who owned a construction company.”