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“Shit, I be seeing people go viral for the stupidest shit on social media. You got motha fuckas out here that’s becoming famous for eating on camera, doing story times about the fucked-up relationship that they were in at one point, or just the most random shit.

I had a notebook full of raps that I’ve written over the years.

One day, I was in my car, outside the strip club, waiting to clock in, and I decided to just pull my phone out, and record me rapping.

I posted it on TikTok, and I went on about my business, not thinking anything of it.

Probably like two hours into my shift, the other dancers were coming up to me, telling me that I was going viral.

All kinds of people were reposting the videos, liking, and sharing it.

I knew I had so many other raps that I had written, so I would post a video just about every day, and eventually, labels started reaching out.

I just went with the label that I felt like I would shine at.

I love this rap thit though. It’s therapeutic for me, but I’ll be lying if I said that they not trying to change me.

I feel like I’m too much of a tough bitch at times, and I’m too blunt.

Gotta walk on fuckin eggshells in this industry, so that your ass won’t get canceled,” I shared, and after he took a pull of the blunt, he handed it to me.

I was quick to take it from him, put the blunt to my lips, and I took a long pull, and then released the smoke out into the air.

“Yeah, I see that they trying to change you, man. I saw little clips of the live video that you did, when you spoke on gay people. Ion see nothing wrong with what you said. That bitch in your comments was trying to be funny, asking you if you were dating that girl on the basketball team. You spoke on how you felt about that shit. The old Autumn would never have apologized for that. When I saw the video where you went live, and apologized, I hated that. Crazy because when I pulled up on you this weekend at the club, I was going to bring that up. You a real ass bitch, Autumn. Don’t let them change that part of you,” he said, and I nodded.

“I can still be real. I just gotta watch what the fuck I be saying,” I said.

“You must have a PR team or something? Your PR team forced you to apologize?” he asked, and that question made me laugh, as I thought about Yaya.

I loved Yaya with every piece of me. To know me, and to know how tough I was, and to know that the word love wasn’t something that I just threw around so easily, it meant a lot for me to say that I loved her.

I didn’t grow up, telling people that I loved them.

Remember, my grandma didn’t raise me that way.

I knew I loved Yaya when it didn’t feel like business with us.

She treated me like I was her little sister, and I could tell that she had my best interests at heart.

She’s rooting for me more than anyone has ever rooted for me in my life.

She doesn’t miss a day to tell me how proud of me she was, and she doesn’t miss a day to lay into my ass whenever I fuck up either.

She kept her foot on my neck, and I needed that.

If I didn’t have her, I knew that I would have already fallen face first into this industry, and drowned a long time ago, but she was saving me from that, making sure that it didn’t happen.

She was always telling me that no matter how much I fucked up, she was going to be right there to clean up the mess, so that I wouldn’t have to go back to the strip club, using my body to earn money.

“I do. I’m signed to Yaya’s firm. You probably know her. She used to be married to Law. I know your dad raised him,” I shared, and when I said that, there was a faraway look in his eyes, as if he’d gotten annoyed with me saying that.

I knew that Law and Kross had their issues.

I didn’t know the root of their problems though.

Back when me, and Kross were dealing with each other, I remember him telling me that they didn’t really get along, and a big part of that was because he claimed that Law thought he was better than him.

I wasn’t a psychologist or anything like that, but I think Kross is a little jealous of the relationship that his dad has with Law. The two of them were very close.

“I hate that nigga,” he released, and I didn’t expect him to say that, so I laughed. He sounded like a big ass kid, claiming to hate someone for something small.

“Who? Law? Why don’t you like him?” I quizzed.

“He’s just a hoe ass nigga to me. Motha fucka walk around this bitch like he better than everybody.

I never really liked him. I’m just waiting for him to say the wrong thing to me, and I swear Ima pop his ass this time.

He came over to my pop’s crib the other day, and that bitch knew not to say shit to me.

I been wanting to take him out, but I know that’ll hurt my pops.

He love that lawyer nigga more than he love me,” his words were so cold.

So cold to the point that it ruined my high, and I didn’t even want the blunt anymore, so I handed it back to him.

I could only hope that he was just in his feelings right now and just running his mouth.

That would kill Yaya, and her kids if he were to do something to harm Law.

Even though the two of them weren’t together right now, I was rooting for them, just like the rest of the world to get back together.

They were a beautiful couple, with beautiful kids.

“So, what you got going on out here? Why you at the studio?” I changed the subject, not wanting to talk about that with him.

“My nigga Rodeo got a session tonight, and we just pulled up to support. I only been home a couple of weeks, so I haven’t really been into too much.

I’m just trying to prove to my pops that I’m mature enough for him to put me on again with his business.

I’m not trying to be a corner boy, either.

I want to be that nigga’s right-hand man.

The sooner he puts me on, and sees the good in me, money can start flowing, and I can get me a whip, and a spot of my own.

I feel like a little bitch, living with my pops.

I had just wrecked my last whip before I got locked up, so I’m fucked up right now, and don’t have a car.

I been pushing one of my pop’s whips,” he shared.

Kross just seemed to be in a tough spot right now, and like he had a lot of shit going on.

I had love for him, but I would keep that love that I had for him from a distance.

Yaya was always telling me how I needed to watch the people that I hung with because all it took was one time for me to be at the wrong place with them.

I felt like Kross had to have been the perfect example of that.

I saw a fire in his eyes, that looked like one of a demon, and I just didn’t want to be a part of that shit.

This nigga had come home from prison, and he was going to self- destruct. I had good shit going on in my life right now, so I was going to move around from his ass.