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Turned out the girl’s name was Jenna.

He didn’t remember giving her his number – Jerry’s number – but he had, and she’d called.

It was awkward, at first. She’d phone him and they’d make small talk, sometimes just sitting on the phone in silence. He got annoyed with her for not being a better conversationalist since she was the one who kept phoning him. But no matter how little he said, or how awkward it was, she kept calling.

By March, he asked her out.

They’d met at the Film Factory for a late show, Shane opting to skip dinner since neither of them seemed capable of saying much and, honestly, he couldn’t afford it. Dustin was going through a growth spurt, and Shane had taken him shopping for a whole new spring wardrobe.

In person, it had been less awkward than he’d anticipated. She was quiet, shy. But seemed much more at ease in real life than over the phone, and he felt himself relax around her.

By the time the snow melted, he wouldn’t say he had feelings for her, but he enjoyed her company, if only because it was such a stark contrast to the other women in his life.

Laney still put him through a daily hell every time he saw her. He’d hoped the attraction would wear off, die down a little, especially since the distance that had cropped up between them after New Year. But it didn’t. He hated it, the tension between them, even though he’d done it to himself. He missed her even though he still saw her almost every day.

And then there was Linette.

Shane appreciated her running interference on Cary – the guy had been scarce since Linette had been home – but Linette was a fucking menace . She regularly dismantled important things like appliances, rearranged furniture only to make them put it all back, and once she manually turned off every breaker in the electrical panel. She spent an hour yelling at him one evening because he refused to move the washing machine to the garage.

The combination of whatever mental illness she had paired with a steady diet of vodka and powder made for a kind of deranged energizer bunny running around the house half-naked all the time. To outsiders, the woman was an exceptional host and very charming, but Shane wasn’t a casual guest anymore – he saw her too often and for too long to be won over by her. He saw the ugly side. The crazy side.

Jenna was simple, and he welcomed it.

She was in her second year of college for business administration and had attended the New Year’s Eve party with her college roommate while they’d been visiting family over the holidays. Apparently, they’d run into Cary at the liquor store, and he’d invited the roommate who’d been immediately smitten. Of course Cary had no idea who they were once they actually showed up, and the girl had left, feeling snubbed. But Jenna had been riding a particularly mellow codeine high and had opted to stay alone.

They did drugs a lot. Probably too much, if Shane thought about it, which he tried not to do. They smoked copious amounts of hash, both fond of the quiet body buzz and slow, lazy sex. But Jenna had a penchant for opioids, and more often than not they ended up layering in high dose codeine or oxy.

They’d both been high the first time they fucked.

He spent a lot more time with Cody that spring, giving them easy access to drugs and providing a comfortable buffer of constant chatter. He often crashed with Shane at Jenna’s off-campus apartment on weekends. She kept asking him to visit during the week, and he always declined. She never seemed offended, and she never asked why. Easy.

Jerry had given Shane a raise that spring, since he’d started selling all the car parts he stripped and even doing body work for some folks. He always gave 100% of what he made over to Jerry, refusing commission or in-pocket cash. So Jerry just started paying him better. Honestly, Shane loved the job. And if Jenna had ever asked him, he’d probably have used Jerry for his excuse as to why he couldn’t leave during the week.

But it was Laney. It was always Laney. He still picked Dustin up from school every day and took him home. And even though the hours he spent with them both every evening looked exactly the same as before, as when he’d suddenly appeared and just lived there, it wasn’t. It was torture.

He got so worked up being around Laney all week that by Friday night he’d show up at Jenna’s and push her into bed without so much as a hello. Sometimes he felt bad about it, but Jenna had never asked him for anything more than he gave, and she certainly never complained about what he did to her body.

He wasn’t happy, exactly. Not like he’d been for those four magical weeks in October, or those perfect twenty-four hours around Laney’s birthday. But he had things in his life now, good things, like Jerry, and a job, that made him feel less… hopeless.

Like he might not actually be a waste of a human.