Page 21 of The Wrong Bond (Wolf Billionaire #4)

CHAPTER 21

ARLENE

“ A nd so it begins,” I announced, spreading a welcome mat in front of the door.

The mat was bright and frilly at the ends, and Coral and I had picked it out online. “The start of a new beginning” was scrawled on it in cursive, making the entire move feel ironic.

Was it really a new beginning, or was I running away from the one true thing I’d ever had because I was a coward? Maybe Shawn losing his mind was just an excuse for me not to deal with everything else that was inevitably going to keep us apart.

“Are you still thinking about him?” Leah asked behind me. She’d come with me to the new place and would be staying until I acclimated myself to the area. It was a relief that she was here.

“No,” I lied, wiping my hands on my jeans and standing up straighter.

“You know, I’m all for the disappearing act you pulled…”

I rolled my eyes, cutting her short. “It’s not a disappearing act. I had to leave, Leah.”

She raised her hands in surrender. “Sure. But you don’t have to beat yourself up about it.”

“There’s nothing else I can do about it, Leah,” I said, walking over to the box on the kitchen counter that was labelled “China.”

I began to bring out all the cute dishes I’d gotten because Coral was obsessed with fine china and the way it looked.

“Well, you don’t have to think about it so much,” Leah responded.

“That’s easier said than done.”

“Let’s focus on your very big achievement. You have your own apartment in another state, very far away from downtown, and Coral is in one of the best hospitals in the state.”

“Yeah, but only because I abandoned Shawn.”

“You did it to save him from himself, Ally. You did a good thing.”

I sighed and turned to her. “I know I did. But right now, it’s starting to feel less and less like that. It’s beginning to feel selfish, and I hate that.”

“Okay, so enough about Shawn. Let’s take a look at your gorgeous apartment.”

A small smile crossed my face as Leah walked around the room, her eyes almost bulging out of her face. “Wow, I didn’t know how spacious your living room was.”

I chuckled softly. “We’ve been here for thirty minutes.”

She raised her eyebrows playfully. “Sure. Anyway, this is the perfect living room for trash-talking everyone from college and watching crappy reality TV,” Leah declared, plopping down dramatically on the empty couch. “And it’s perfect for being a couch potato.”

“Perfect for me while I look for a job and sulk about not having one,” I said, forcing a smile.

Leah walked back over to the boxes and began to help me unpack. “I’m sure you’ll find something soon. And you don’t have to dive headfirst into work. You can let your hair down for a bit and rest, because you deserve it.”

“Or I could try to work my guilt off in a bar somewhere.”

“Yup, that’s definitely an option too,” she responded sarcastically.

I threw my head back and laughed, my first real laugh since I’d heard Lora tell me she was Shawn’s mate. It felt good, coming from my belly and rolling out into the open without being stifled by thoughts of Shawn and what I’d done.

At various intervals, I’d wondered if just disappearing without a word was really right. Would it have been better if I’d left him a note, or a text at least? Was this clean break the best I could do?

I sighed again, not knowing the right answer to any of this. He would be perfect with Lora. She seemed like the perfect person for him, and she also had his best interests at heart.

“You sure you’re okay with this place, Ally?” Leah asked, dragging me out of my thoughts. “It’s less homey than your previous apartment.”

I shrugged, trying to mask the pang of loneliness that hit me. “It’s a fresh start,” I responded, my voice steady. “A clean slate.”

A beat of silence passed between us, heavy with words that we didn’t dare speak. Leah knew better than to bring up Shawn again, but her eyes held a silent question.

“I know, I know,” I groaned, turning to face my friend. “It’s not exactly the perfect apartment I envisioned for myself. But hey, at least I have a roof over my head and a fridge that doesn’t need a daily sacrifice to the gods to keep running.”

We both laughed until our eyes stung with unshed tears.

Leah snorted. “And don’t forget the glorious view of the parking lot,” she added, gesturing toward the window.

We both laughed again, and for a moment, I completely forgot why I was in this new place, surrounded by cardboard boxes full of pieces of a life I’d just left. For a moment, I was completely enveloped by Leah’s joke, and grateful that she was here when I needed her the most.

But the moment was short-lived, because when both our laughter died down, the first thought that filled my brain was the morning Shawn and I had grabbed pancakes at his favorite diner.

I’d been wearing his hoodie, which smelled unmistakably like him, and as scared as I was of being there, I had also gotten a peek into his life.

“Please don’t say what you’re about to say,” Leah groaned as soon as she noticed I’d been quiet for a suspicious amount of time.

“I miss him, Leah,” I confessed, the words tumbling out of my lips before I could stop them. “I miss everything about him. His stupid jokes, his laughter, and how he looked at me like I was the only thing in his world.”

“Oh, honey.” Leah walked over and squeezed my hand, pulling me into a big hug. “I know, Ally. I know. But you did the right thing. For yourself, Coral, and even for Shawn.”

I nodded, my heart feeling heavy. “I just wish there was another way. This doesn’t seem right.”

“I know it’s hard, but you’re stronger than you think. You’re building a new life here and it’s filled with possibilities. You should embrace it.”

I forced a smile. “You’re right.”

Leah clapped her hands together. “I’m always right.”

With that, we spent the rest of the afternoon unpacking my things and decorating the apartment. Coral was now on the priority list for surgery, which meant she would be out of the hospital in a couple of weeks.

As much as I missed Shawn and hated how things had ended between us, I was grateful that I could provide for Coral, which was all I’d ever wanted.

I would never be able to forget about Shawn, no matter how hard I tried, because I cared about him deeply. But I also needed to stop beating myself up about what had already happened.

As the sun began to set and the unpacking was practically done, Leah collapsed dramatically on the couch, fanning herself with a crumpled piece of packing paper.

“Operation Settle Ally Into Her New Life is finally a success.”

I scoffed. “Operation what?”

She shrugged. “It wasn’t going to be easy, so it needed its own operation.”

“Sure.”

She pulled out her phone and started scrolling through it, her eyes glued to the screen.

“I think you need a pick-me-up,” she said, her eyes not leaving her phone screen even for a second.

“I don’t need a pick-me-up. What I need right now is a million hours of sleep.”

Leah raised an eyebrow suggestively. “Or alcohol and a hot man.”

“Nobody is Shawn,” I said under my breath, but she heard me.

“Which is exactly why you need a pick-me-up!”

A couple minutes later, we found ourselves at a bar close to my apartment, much to my chagrin and Leah’s excitement. If it were up to me, I’d be cuddled up in bed, mourning the life I’d left behind and everything that could have been.

But it wasn’t up to me, so I just had to go with the plan and hope I came out unscathed.

The bar was a dimly lit hole-in-the-wall, which looked a million times better than Mark’s Bar. Leah, as always, was in her element, weaving through the crowd like a seasoned professional. While I, on the other hand, was trying and failing to catch up to her.

“I’ll be right back,” Leah said quickly.

“Um, you can’t just bring me to a random bar and then disappear.”

“I’m trying to get you out of your shell. This is your new home, Ally. I won’t be around to hold your hand all the time.”

She was right, which sucked even more. She was definitely going to leave soon, and then I’d be on my own. Sure, abandoning me at a bar was the quickest way for me to meet people and make friends, but I wasn’t ready for that yet.

“I know, but I thought we were spending the day out together.”

“We are, and we’ll definitely regroup in fifteen. See ya!” Leah promised, and disappeared into the crowd.

“Fuck me,” I mumbled to myself, making my way to the counter.

“What would you like, ma’am?” a voice above me asked.

Ma’am?

I looked up into the most gorgeous pair of hazel eyes I’d ever seen.

“I’m barely a ma’am,” I corrected.

The man chuckled. “So miss?”

I smiled. “My name is Arlene.”

“I’m Lucas, your bartender for the night.”

I nodded and drummed my fingers on the counter. “Well, Lucas, please give me the strongest thing on the menu.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Rough day?” he asked, his voice a smooth baritone.

More like rough life.

I nodded. “Moving day,” I explained. “The worst kind of adulting.”

Well, second-worst, compared to taking a huge amount of money in exchange for abandoning my one true love so he didn’t lose his mind.

Lucas chuckled, mixing my drink. “I hear you. I’ve moved five times in the last two years.”

I raised my eyebrows because that definitely piqued my interest. “Wow. What’s the secret to surviving that many moves? I barely survived one.”

He shrugged. “Lots of duct tape, the undying urge to start again, and an unhealthy amount of alcohol.”

I laughed. “Which is exactly why I’m here.”

“Well, you’ve come to the right place,” he replied, sliding a coaster across the counter and placing a drink on it.

I picked up the cocktail and took a long sip. The mix of fruit and kick of alcohol instantly woke me up.

“Wow. That’s a lot of rum!” I said, placing the drink back on the counter gently.

Lucas chuckled and raised an eyebrow. “How did you know I used rum?”

“I could taste it.”

“I used a lot of vinegar and fruity wine to water down the taste. It’s my secret recipe.”

I chuckled. “Well, I used to bartend, so I’m great at picking up hidden notes of ingredients in cocktails.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, why?”

He pointed behind him at the sign on the wall, and I squinted to make out the words. It was a poster showing that the bar was hiring a bartender to start immediately.

“We’re hiring!” Lucas announced, just in case it was too dark for me to read the sign properly.

“Really?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

Maybe Leah was right all along. This seemed like a good sign. What were the chances that I’d begrudgingly stepped out of my new apartment and found a job instantly? It all felt a little too surreal, like I’d accidentally made the right decision.

“Yeah, we’ve been looking for a while and would take anyone at this point.”

I swallowed, my eyes drifting to the poster and back to Lucas. Taking on a new job would permanently cement my life here. A part of me had cradled the hope that Shawn would come looking for me and whisk me away from here. A part of me hoped that all this would be temporary and I wouldn’t have to live this life.

But getting this job would mean that this was all real, and it made my stomach churn with unease.

“So what do you say?” Lucas asked, dragging me out of my thoughts.

I took a deep breath. There was no going back. “It sounds great!”

He clapped his hands together excitedly. “Great. Interview at noon tomorrow?”

“I’ll see you there,” I responded, a surge of determination lacing my voice.

Maybe this was my chance to properly start fresh, and finally let go of the bits and pieces from my past. Maybe this was the life I was meant to live, not the one where I tried to fit into Shawn’s world every second of every day.

And yet, it didn’t feel like it.