Page 72 of The Wolf Lord's Mate

Nathaniel cradled my slumped body against him, holding me by the waist and pressing me against his chest. Fingers stroked lazy circles over my slit, slowly drawn away as Nathaniel reached out from under my skirt and adjusted the hem back down to fall around my legs.

I was still sensitive, and every little jostle of the horse made my clit rub against the saddle, making me jerk back into Nathaniel's hold.

It was a decent enough distraction to those familiar swirling thoughts; the bubble of regret in my chest that I let him touch me, that those sounds came out of me as I asked a Wolf for pleasure.

And yet, the bubble was smaller than it had been before, even if only by a speck.

There was less panic too, more anxiety rather than fear, and for once I did not feel the need to cry as Nathaniel soothed sweet words into my ear.

Instead I closed my eyes and let him comfort me, let his tight hold and soft coaxing slowly unknot the twisted ropes of my stomach and diffuse the bomb around my heart.

It did not dismantle the systems of fear and guilt entirely, but it did stop them from setting off a panic attack, and for that I was glad.

I stayed like that until my breathing evened out, soothed by Nathaniel's firm hold as well as the steady trot of the mare.

After a while, Nathaniel's grip loosened slightly, just enough to move his hand back to my hip and allowing me to sit up more comfortably from where I had been slouched against him.

"We're going to establish some ground rules for this little arrangement, darling," Nathaniel readjusted his grip on the reins, "If we're not going to announce you as my mate, then I still need to know that there are precautions in place."

"What sort of precautions?" I tilted my head back, trying to get a read from that ever calm and absurdly handsome countenance of his. The male could have been carved from stone; a jaw sharp enough to cut with high cheek bones and rounded emerald eyes.

"Standard precautions," Nathaniel quirked a brow at me, well aware of my staring, "Those for your safety and those for my sanity."

"I see." I said, turning my head back to face the path ahead. A road peeked through the trees in distance, but Nathaniel was keeping us within the tree-line, likely to avoid any trouble or notice from travelers.

"I want you to sleep in my bedroom at night." Nathaniel said, but I was shaking my head before he had even finished his sentence.

"Absolutely not."

"If you're going to be masquerading as my mistress, sweetness, then you would be sharing my bed." Nathaniel sighed.

"Sharing it does not mean sleeping in it," I huffed, "Besides, that request seems as though it benefits your desires more so than the needs of our arrangement."

"Is that such bad thing?" Nathaniel said far too casually, "Why can't we benefit from both?"

"You, not we." I reminded him.

It was his insistence on the bond that had brought us to sharing a bed in the first place, and as much as I could not deny how much I had enjoyed my time sleeping in his arms, I had never asked for it nor had I expected it to continue upon our return.

"Are you forgetting the way you would come tip-toeing to my door each night, little female? Sneaking in to sleep on the chaise so that you could be near me and my scent? Even then your sleep was not as restful as it has been the past few nights that you've slept in my arms."

Nathaniel was irritatingly correct. There was one minuscule aspect that he was forgetting, of course, and that was the little control I did have in those moments. I had stopped myself from going into his bedroom at the manor, even though it had been difficult.

I could be strong.

I could do difficult things.

"So that's all you want?" I rolled my eyes, "To sleep well? I think you want more than that—I think you want to keep encouraging the bond to grow."

"Of course I do," Nathaniel squeezed my hip tightly, "Perhaps you are forgetting what I told you the other morning.

You are mine, Mira, and nothing is going to change that.

The fact that you're afraid of what effects might linger after sleeping in my arms only shows just how aware you are of the inevitability of our bond.

There is no escaping this—there is no escaping the love I have for you, nor is there anything you can do about the love you will one day have for me. "

"Always so arrogant." I scoffed, biting my lip as the saddle shifted under me, pushing against my still sensitive core.

"Arrogance and confidence are not the same, little one," Nathaniel said, "Confidence comes from a place of knowledge and assurance; faith too, in many ways.

I have faith in you. I have faith in your love, but more than that, I have faith in myself to break down those pesky little walls of yours.

I've seen a few of them crumble already, and the cracks peeking through the others only strengthen my drive to crumble those too.

One day I will have all of you, Mira, body and soul, no matter how long it takes. "

I did not respond to that; I didn't quite know how to, so instead I rested my head back against Nathaniel's chest and let him guide us home.