Page 55 of The Wolf Lord's Mate

Hot breath warmed my skin as Nathaniel nuzzled into my hair, my tense muscles slowly relaxing into his hold. Nathaniel hummed, as if he were sensing my body's reaction to him and was pleased by it, which was not unlikely.

"You'll have to let go of me to get the stew," I sighed, his arms tightening around me in response, "Unless you want to keep me captive instead?"

"I'd very much like to keep you captive," Nathaniel's husky chuckle sent a shiver down my back, "But every male must be willing to sacrifice whatever it takes to satisfy their mate, and I will have to forgo a few minutes of having you in my arms," Nathaniel trailed his lips over the nape of my neck, "I will simply have to get those minutes back elsewhere."

"Surely you could write off a few minutes," I said, steadying myself on Nathaniel's arm as he lifted me up and placed me down next to him, "You went quite a long time without my company before."

"And I should never like to be without it again," Nathaniel pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead, stroking a thumb over my cheek, "Forget every minute being precious; every second I get to have you in my arms is a gift, and one that I will never squander."

I tilted my head away from his touch, looking down at the floor. Nathaniel sighed, but I did not look up at him, instead gnawing at my lip as I examined his somehow incredibly clean floors.

It was not my fault that he always took his adoration too far, and just a step over the line was all it took for panic and guilt to gnaw at me. Nathaniel had a funny way of confusing the bond for love, and I was not entirely sure that he knew if there was a difference at all.

But then, did I know if there was a difference? I had never been in love, but I had obviously never been bonded either. All I knew was that one was a choice, a feeling earned through time, whilst the other was forced from fate.

Perhaps there was a world in which I could have fallen in love with Nathaniel. One where we were not bonded, not divided by our species or our stations. The question of course was whether Nathaniel would have ever noticed me at all had it not been for the bond.

What did he even love about me, anyway? Did his love go any deeper than the bond, and if it did, what did that even mean? Perhaps it meant that I could have the capacity to love him too, but it is nearly impossible to develop feelings for someone when it feels like there is a noose around your neck; the rope tightening with every saccharine smile he gave me.

A clinking of a spoon against china drew my attention back to Nathaniel, who scooped a generous portion of stew into a bowl. It did smell divine, the rich scent of venison clouding the whole of the cabin with a cozy, hearty air.

Nathaniel carried the bowl over carefully, blowing a bit of steam off the top. "Aren't you going to get some for yourself?" I said as Nathaniel set the bowl on the table in front of me.

"I'll eat a bit later—besides, I had some venison while you were sleeping." I opened my mouth to protest, but lost my train of thought the moment Nathaniel touched me, squeaking as he pulled me onto his lap again. Nestling me into his arms, he deftly scooped up the bowl of stew without spilling a single drop, and guided the bowl into my hands.

"Is this really necessary?" Nathaniel nudged my hand toward the spoon, helping me hold the bowl steady on my lap, "We could sit at the kitchen table like ordinary people, or just sit next to each other."

"We are not ordinary, little mate," Nathaniel brushed his knuckles over my bare arms, his tone low and soothing, "We are an odd pair, even I cannot deny that, but I would not have it any other way. Besides, plenty of mates eat like this."

"On each other's laps?" I take the spoon hesitantly, stirring through the still steaming stew.

"You really haven't spent much time in the company of Wolves, have you? Or at least good ones, I suppose." Nathaniel toyed with a strand of my hair, curling it around his finger. "Wolves don't observe the same customs as Humans in regard to intimacy and physical touch. There is nothing greater than having a mate, so why should a male not show his affection for his female every way he can?"

"Even in the nobility?" I asked, "At a dinner with Lords, they would have their mates in their laps?"

"If they wanted to, yes, it's not uncommon. Holding your female, feeding her, making sure she's well taken care of—it would be seen as quite shameful for a male not to show how capable he is at providing for his mate, whether that be physically or emotionally." Nathaniel seemed confused that this was even a question, but it was still bewildering to me.

"It wouldn't feel awkward to you," I started, "Being so outwardly affectionate to me in front of other people? Or watching other mates interact like that while you're trying to eat?"

"I have never looked upon mated pairs with anything but envy," Nathaniel mused, his fingers coming closer to rub at my scalp in a soothing motion, "Their affection is aspirational to me. I see no shame in appreciating love, whether it is my own or someone else's. Suppressing your feelings does more harm than good, and in the end it will only result in wasted time—in wasted moments."