Page 49 of The Wolf Lord's Mate

Nathaniel pressed his hand back against my still pulsing core. With a self-satisfied smile, he worked his thumb against my clit harder and my need rose again; faster this time as it rode the wave of pleasure still coursing through my body.

I arched my back as I reached the peak of a second orgasm, silently gasping into the air, and yelping as Nathaniel barely grazed my over-sensitized nerves.

"Too much, little mate?" Nathaniel said, pulling away gently with a knowing smile.

I nodded, and although I knew that was all I could take for now, my body was still begging for more, every nerve in my body on fire and aching to feel him inside of me.

Nathaniel splayed his fingers over my thighs, lazily stroking around my still soaking wet slit. I was still pulsing with pleasure, my eyes half shut as I stared up at him.

"You are the most beautiful female that has ever existed," Nathaniel murmured, "I would simply rather go blind than never see your face again. Your smile, and your eyes, and the way you scrunch up your brow when you're concentrating on something. I love every little detail about you—especially those little expressions you make when my fingers are inside of you. The way your eyes roll back and your hips buck—fuck, angel."

I only nodded in response, but I was absorbing every ounce of praise he gave me with a shameless greed. I wanted to say something back, to tell him how good he made me feel, or how handsome I thought that he was, or how many nights that I had dreamed of him like this. But for some reason I couldn't say a thing, the gears of my brain shifting to a stiff halt.

Nathaniel noticed immediately. Of course he did, he never missed anything when it came to me.

"How do you feel, love?" Nathaniel asked, his stare hungry but cautious, "Are you alright?"

"I'm—" I started, still catching my breath, the words not quite able to form through the delicious fog in my mind.

I was more than alright. I was in heaven, and it was all because of him. I felt more relaxed than I had in years, lying there practically boneless on the bed half ready to fall asleep. And yet—

There was something else too, a stirring in the pit of my stomach that was separate from the desire that had rooted itself there. It was a shock of cold dread, a familiar anxiety bubbling up inside of me as my orgasm faded away. And once my pleasure was gone, my relaxation went with it.

Any peace inside of me vanished in a single instant as panic rose in my chest. I was suddenly cold; freezing as goose flesh erupted on my skin.

Nathaniel moved immediately, gently closing my thighs and coming up to lay beside me. He gathered me in his arms just as my breath started to catch again, and the reality of what we had just done hit me like a brick.

My skin itched, my breathing stopped in my throat, and it was like I was having an allergic reaction to my own thoughts. My worries were crawling under my skin and trying to force their way back up to the surface. I squirmed, but Nathaniel wouldn't let me go.

"Hush, little one," Nathaniel kissed my temple, wrapping his arms around me tighter and pressing my face into his chest, "You're just overwhelmed. I thought that might happen, that's another reason that I didn't want to take things further. There will be plenty of time for you to grow used to my touch, and one day you won't even have to think twice about it. It will only feel natural and good and right, but I know that's not the case right now, and that's okay. I've got you, my love."

His words only stirred up more emotion inside of me, a lump growing in my throat until I couldn't swallow. I could feel myself shaking, unable to stop myself as tears welled in my eyes.

What was wrong with me? Everything about what had just happened had felt so right, but my body was going into shock, some kind of bizarre panic mode that I couldn't recall feeling since Mother died.

I had been inconsolable, unable to do anything but weep and shiver alone for days. Until one day when I got so hungry that I could barely move, and I forced myself to go look for something to eat. It was that or die, and Mother had told me that she wanted me to live, wanted me to carry on.

And so as I walked, I focused on that cold feeling in my bones and the emptiness in my stomach, and I thought about how much of a relief it would be if my heart were empty too. I knew that if I could somehow lock away all of that sorrow then I could find a way to go on.

And so I did. I made myself numb. I buried myself in work and concentrated every day on surviving, and somehow I lived through all of that grief when I never thought that I would. I had kept everything about myself locked tightly away, never truly seen or known by anyone until that damned day in The Alleys.

But being there with Nathaniel had opened up something inside of me, some hidden crevice in my heart that I had forgotten was ever even there.