Page 69 of The Wolf Lord's Mate

"You sound as though you have a preference."I said.

Nathaniel's preference being, of course, that we would announce our bond and not just to the staff—telling Walton would mean telling everyone. There would be no way to go back once the information was out there, and I would forever be his Lady.

"I have more confidence in my abilities to protect you when you're by my side," Nathaniel nuzzled his cheek against my hair, "I know it's frightening, love, that's why I didn't tell you about our bond right away despite how much I wanted to.

I feared the danger that I would put you in, but leaving you unprotected is not an option anymore.

If your wish is truly to keep this secret, then I will honor that, but it will not be easy for either one of us.

I imagined that it would be far more difficult for him than for me; the time to myself would be welcome, and I doubted I would feel the pull of the bond as much as he would. But he had fought it before, hadn't he?

Was it selfish to ask him to keep fighting it?

He had said that he would do whatever it took to please me, but I didn't want him to endanger himself or his territory in the process.

I didn't care for the Wolfish rule of law and the inequalities that persisted against humans, but it was far worse in Walton's territory, even I knew that.

So what kind of choice would I make? What was best for me or what was best for Nathaniel? Surely there had to be some middle ground, some space between the lines where Nathaniel would not have to fight his instincts while I was still able to have time to process the bond.

I squeezed my eyes shut, letting my hand come down to rest over Nathanael's. His thumb stroked against my skin, and he pressed a gentle kiss to my temple.

A thought crossed my mind, one that spurred hope as much as a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Nathaniel," I asked, "Have you ever taken a lover?"

If I thought that Nathaniel had stiffened before, he practically froze at my question.

"By a lover—I mean, do you mean," Nathaniel cleared his throat slightly, adjusting the reigns in his hand, "Have I ever been with anyone else?"

It was clear by his tone of voice that he had, and even though that wasn't what I was asking, the pain of it startled me.

It was a sharp sting in the place just above my ribs followed by a cold and steady anger; not at Nathaniel, but at whatever female he had once shared a bed with.

It was a baseless and bizarre feeling, but it overwhelmed me all the same.

Nathaniel's massive hand slipped up from my hip, coming to rest at the base of my neck. He cupped my throat with just enough pressure to remind me that he was there; to remind me that despite all of my hesitancies that he was mine.

"Not a fling here or there," I said, tilting my chin up as Nathaniel stroked his thumb down the column of my throat, "I mean a lover—a mistress?"

"No," Nathaniel sounded incredulous at the very idea, "It's almost unheard of for Wolves as our focus should always be on our future mate.

A quick release here or there is one thing, but forming any kind of bond with anyone other than our fated is looked down upon," Nathaniel's grip tighted slightly around my throat; again, not enough to hurt, but enough to show me how just how strong he was behind all of that gentle affection, "I would never give that kind of emotion to anyone besides my mate.

Everything that I have, every ounce of love in my being was all saved for you, little mate. "

Tenderness swelled within me at his words. A frightening pallor still clung to them at the intensity of his meaning, but there was a yearning there as well.

A sense of belonging, a truth spoken by someone who would never abandon me.

I traced my fingers over Nathaniel's wrist, curling the digits around it as I pulled his hand loose from my neck.

"What if I pretended to be your Mistress," I offered, "That way you would not have to hide your affection for me or keep your distance, but I would still be able to keep our mate bond quiet. I think it's a fair trade, Nathaniel."

Nathaniel went quiet for a moment, but I could tell he was considering it. I was sure it still bothered him on some level, but there was no perfect option before us.

"He might still guess." Nathaniel said, winding his arm around my waist.

"But he wouldn't know for sure."

"Wolves are possessive over those they've claimed—mates or not, and he could still use you to hurt me, especially if he knows I care for you."

"You care for everyone in your employ, and besides, you would be there to protect me.

The point of this is to safeguard our secret," Nathaniel stiffed slightly, and I sighed, knowing how much he disliked the idea that I wanted to hide the bond, "I need time, Nathaniel, and that means more than a few days.

Rushing into things will not make the process any easier—if anything, it'll only make me more anxious. "

The idea of that possibility stopped Nathaniel from arguing, as the last thing he wanted was to erase the little progress that I had made.