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Through my life I imagined what my mate would be like.

All wolves do. The idea of our mates are burned into our minds and children and the mate bond comes second only to our sacred duty as wolves.

When I was a pup I imagined she wouldn't be like other girls, whom I thought carried girl only germs that would make me less of a boy at the time.

I swore she would be cool and like to climb trees and roll around in the mud with me.

She would pretend fight me and we wouldn't spend all our time kissing like other wolves did.

But she would be nice too, maybe smile like my mother. She had the best smile to me.

As I got a little older and began to understand my developing body -and that of the girls around me- more, I hoped she wouldn't be like other girls.

The ones who hated their own bodies despite the sometimes awkward feelings (and bodily reactions) said bodies caused.

I hoped she would be kind incase my voice cracked when we met, the nerves of adolescences making me want to appear manly although at that age, no ones grown into themselves yet.

She would be strong, like both my parents had been, but soft.

Kind. Other boys wanted their mates with big chests and saucy smiles.

Other boys didn't feel the loss that I had.

They still had their mothers to hug them and tell them they would be okay.

Their fathers were not slowly dying.

I could only, secretly, hope my mate would have a comforting touch. And being the pup I was, I hoped there would be kissing a lot of kissing.

As a moronic teenager who refused to be called a pup any longer (although I certainly still was) I found myself discovering my taste in women and exploring the nature of sex.

I hoped she would have that soft skin all women seemed to innately posses but were utterly unaware of.

I knew by then that some part of me had a thing for a girl with an innocent face and wide eyes.

I hoped she wouldn't be like the girls who I had been with, somehow ashamed of their bodies yet claiming to be comfortable with sex.

I loved women.

Their soft skin.

Their pretty smiles.

Their silken hair.

The delicate way they smelled, alway like something clean and sometimes sweet.

The way the walked.

The parts of them they kept hidden beneath their clothes.

As a wolf, you are used to nudity in a practical sense for shifting.

But after I saw a woman nude in an intimate setting the first time... I completely fell in love with the female form.

Even wolves were soft and supple.

Something about women just beckoned to me.

I hoped my mate would allow me to adore everything female about her for as long as she lived.

Even then I knew the fascination wasn't temporary. I would never grow tired of what made them different from men.

I loved everything about them and at that age, they all seemed to certainly adore me too. So how could my mate not be like that.

As a young adult and a new king, I hoped she wouldn't be like other girls.

Girls who I learned not too far into my teenage years that wanted a man simply because they held alpha blood.

And me because I was a descendant of the alpha.

And the future king.

I hoped she would like me for who I was and my dedication to our sacred duty. I hoped she wouldn't pretend when we met, because I wanted to like her for who she was too.

By then I knew while, like most wolf men, I would probably have sex with almost any woman with a pretty smile that even remotely attracted me... I certainly had a type.

I knew while it didn't matter that much I had a strange preference for blondes. I liked the way all that golden hair shimmered, even in near darkness.

I still liked doe eyed girls. I only ever seemed to like them with wide eyes and pouty lips. Pretty little things that looked innocent no matter what you had just done with them. I kinda hoped my mate would have eyes like that. It would be a nice bonus.

I had developed a bit of a kinky sex habit (or several over the years) so I hoped and dreamed of a woman willing to explore with me. More than anything else physical I needed that.

A woman who loved the male form as much as I loved the female form.

I also hoped she would be strong enough to handle the pressures of ruling beside me over an entire species but at the same time let me care for her. Protect her. Cherish her.

I wanted her to be smart, really smart. It didn't matter in what way she was smart just in some way. Smart in something that got her excited.

She could be smart when it came to numbers and talk my ear off about formulas.

She could be smart with nature and try to tech me every plant in every forest where my wolves resided in the world, even though I would be too in awe of her to learn a damn thing.

She could be smart in something like cooking. I would eat everything she put in front of me even if someone had to roll me to the throne room, just to see her smile.

She could be smart in strategy.

In sword making.

In music.

In anything. I just wanted her to know so much about something and to love it to the point where she never wanted to stop learning.

She could be smarter than me in every way and I would just grin and adore her more for it.

When I hit the age of mating, I searched for her. Hardly able to contain my excitement to meet this mystery woman I had always been told was made for me by the goddess I so worshiped.

And then I searched more.

And more.

Then I thought maybe Luna had heard all my wishes and thought I was too selfish. Wanting too much.

I feared my mate had been taken from me.

I searched more.

I thought maybe by some trick of fate it was all my looking that kept us from crossing paths.

Everyone knew I was of mating age maybe she was looking too?

So I waited.

And waited.

I stopped dreaming of what she might be.

I just wanted her.

I wanted her so badly my entire body ached and my heart broke each day I woke up alone again.

Year. After year. After year.

I searched more, even the hospitals. If there was something wrong with her that kept here there that was okay, we would get her better together.

And if she couldn't get better we would make our life around that, I was more than capable of taking care of her needs whether it was a born illness or an injury she would never have to worry because she would be mind. I would be whatever she needed.

I searched more.

I grew weaker.

I held balls, festivals, fuck I even made up a new holiday just to get all sorts of people to flock to the city so I could look for here and still be a decent king.

I killed more and more creatures thinking maybe I just hadn't done enough for Luna yet. I thought I was one of her most devout warriors, dedicated as I was to our cause. But maybe I was just being narcissistic.

Still no mate.

Dreams of children, a son to teach how to growl out alpha commands - a right of passage for all alpha males- and a little girl to dote on and scare away boys from were fading before me.

Maybe I was being punished for wanting more than one child even though I knew having children was difficult for she wolves.

Every now and then, how would spark in me.

That I would meet her and maybe she would be some of my younger dreams but not giving a fuck either way because she would be mine, be in my arms where she was safe.

I would bury my face in her neck each night as we drifted to sleep blanketed in one another's scents.

It all boiled down to one simple fantasy.

I dreamed that I would meet her and that she would love me, as much as I would love her.

Nowhere in those dreams was there a demon.

Absolutely nowhere.

And yet... Here I stood, half naked. Noviana's front door open, hulking beast of what most certainly was a greater demon growling before me, the stench of sulfur soaking the air. "What the fuck?!"

I felt her presence behind me, "trial number three. Dispose of that."

That.

That was a greater demon. Powerful and bloodthirsty.

Maybe at full strength I would be able to kill it with some effort by myself.

But I wasn't at full strength. And there were no wolves around for pack hunting.

I slammed the door in its face and glared at my mate, "WHY IS A GREATER DEMON USING YOUR FUCKING DOOR KNOCKER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?!"

"He's here to kill me." She replied blandly.

I instantly tensed, ready to rip its throat out, "why?"

"We made a bargain about..." she waves a hand in the air, "a hundred years ago?"

Why was that a question?

She seemed to dismiss the time frame entirely, "it matters not, I was young."

"How old are you?"

She scowled.

The door behind me banged repeatedly, shaking on its hinges.

Slowly a blush, a fucking blush tinted her cheeks, "about your age. Perhaps a small amount older."

If I didn't know any better I would say shes embarrassed. There was certainly more to this, "and why does he want to kill you."

"I may have led him to believe my virginity belonged to him so long as he enslaved a particular being for me. demons don't take kindly to deals deserted."

"He waited a hundred years try and fuck you?"

I couldn't even wait five fucking minutes after meeting her.

She arched a brow as if asking 'really now Bash? You have seen me naked do you think he waited?' But instead she said, "I was young, angry, freshly banished, and powerful. I simply made sure he made due on his deal and then retuned him to his dimension."

Its a bitch to crawl out of demon dimension. "Fast forward 100 years he crawls out of that, come back for his revenge and probably his prize only to find-"

"Myself having not only no longer a maiden but practically soaked in the semen of a werewolf, a demons natural enemy, yes."

Soaked in the... fuck shes weird.

Nowhere in my lifelong fantasies was any of this.

And yet... My gaze traveled the woman who embodied everything I desire in a physical sense. Those wide midnight blue eyes staring up at me. Ah fuck. Fuck it. "So I kill this and..?"

Her lips quirked up, "and you pass the trials. I will be yours."

Somewhere in the back of my mind my wolf was snarling, ready to pounce, to kill on behalf of my mate. To protect her then to claim her with my body through the night. My wolf thought this, this last thing would make her love me.

It was sad.

It was completely untrue.

I yanked open the door again anyways, "fuck it," I rumbled, "Ill try not to break your house baby."

I could smell her majismoke as she lit one, "that would be preferable. And do not call me that."

"Im about to rip out a demons throat for you. Ill call you whatever pet name i damn well please."

I didn't wait for her response.

I made the first move, crossing the magic threshold of her door keeping the demon out and attacking with a snarl.