Page 35

" Y our Grace, you have a visitor."

James looked up at Maxwell. "I have a visitor?"

"He just arrived."

"It's not Lord Harbury, is it?" He would have been shocked. Lord Harbury should be at the church already. And yet, who else would be paying James a visit, today of all days? What could this possibly be about?

"It's His Grace the Duke of Redmayne."

William? What is he doing here? James frowned. "Did he say what he wanted?"

"No, Your Grace. Only that it was important that he see you at once. Shall I show him in? Or would you prefer that I send him away?"

"No, I'll see him," James said. "I suppose if he came all the way over here, it's the least I can do. You can send him in, Maxwell."

"Yes, Your Grace." The butler withdrew.

James settled back in his chair, wondering what this could possibly be about.

It was a very strange day, to be sure, and he hadn't left his office all morning.

He hadn't even gone to breakfast. He'd been too intent on avoiding Victoria.

The idea of speaking to her today was more than he thought he could tolerate.

You have only yourself to blame for the way you feel about this, he reminded himself. You are the one who told her to accept this proposal, to embrace this marriage. There's no sense in being upset with her now because she did as you asked.

He knew that was right. But even though he knew it, his heart wouldn't follow the advice of his head.

Even though there was nothing to be angry about, he felt angry all the same.

How could she be marrying Lord Harbury today?

How could it all have happened so quickly?

Did she truly care nothing at all for everything that had happened between the two of them?

How could she leave it behind her with such ease?

Apparently she could do it, thought. She would say her vows today, and by nightfall, she would be gone—gone from this house and gone from his life.

And I have only myself to blame.

The door to the office opened once more and William strode in. He regarded James quietly for several moments, and neither man spoke.

He's waiting for me to break the silence. But James could think of nothing to say. His thoughts were a maelstrom. It was impossible to find words for his friend.

Finally, William broke the silence. "You're still here," he said. "I expected you would have left already."

"Where did you expect that I was going to go?" James asked, though he knew what the answer would be.

"The wedding is set to begin in an hour's time," William said.

James shifted in his desk chair, staring out his window at nothing at all. "I know when the wedding is to be held," he said. "Do you think I'm not aware?"

"I don't know," William said. "I was taken by surprise myself that they were having it so soon. I would have thought there would be more time between the proposal and the wedding."

"They sought special permission to marry quickly."

"No, I understand that, and it doesn't surprise me that it was granted," William said.

"After all, the duchess is an object of curiosity here in London, and everyone is eager to see this wedding.

No, the part that surprises me is that they wanted a hasty marriage at all.

I thought you told me that the duchess was apprehensive about marrying.

I would have imagined that she would want more time. "

"Well, apparently she didn't," James said, his voice tight.

"Did she tell you why?"

"She and I have hardly spoken about it. It was Lord Harbury who told me the engagement would be so accelerated, and when I asked him for his reason, he told me that it was what she wanted. Apparently she requested it."

"Are you sure?"

"That's what he said. And I have no reason to doubt him. If she wanted to be married quickly, I'm sure he would have given her that. I don't know what made him decide so suddenly that he wished to marry her, but I know he was desperate to do so."

"Well, that's what I came to talk to you about," William said. "I'm not sure his motives are entirely pure."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Have you looked at your ledgers?"

"My ledgers?"

"You told me a while ago that you thought something was the matter with them.

Don't you remember that?" He took a seat opposite James.

"You said that you thought your late cousin might have been involved in illegal activities, and you asked me to look at the ledgers to see whether or not I could make sense of what was going on—to see if I could detect anything illegal. "

"That was quite a while ago," James said. "I actually forgot I had asked you to do that."

"Well, I didn't forget," William said. "I've been going through them diligently, as a matter of fact, and I think I have found something."

"I can't deal with it today," James said. "I have too much else on my mind at the moment."

"I understand that you're preoccupied," William said, "but truly, I think that this might be important and worth your time.

I'm asking you to take a look. Here, I even wrote it all up for you.

" He pulled out a sheaf of papers and laid them on the desk between them.

"Just take a look," he urged. "I think you'll see that this was worth the time it took. There's a lot here."

"I tell you, I don't have the energy for it today," James said. "Another time, perhaps."

"James, don't be a fool. You knew there was something wrong with the books. Well, you were right. If you look at these papers, you'll see?—"

"I've asked you to let this go," James said. "I don't want to discuss it. Not today."

"James, for God's sake, you asked me to look into this," William said. "You wanted me to find out what was going on here. Now I've done as you asked, and—what? And you no longer want the answers?"

"I want the answers. I just don't want them today. Can't I have one day off from worrying about these affairs?" James demanded. "Today of all days, am I not entitled to a break?"

William shook his head. "If you had feelings for her, you shouldn't have pushed her into a marriage to someone else."

"Stop it, William. Get out of my house if this is all you came here to do.

I haven't got the energy for this, as I told you.

I don't want to talk about it. If you want to sit down and have a drink with me, I'm willing to do that, but I'm not willing to go through all of this.

As I said, we can do it another day, but we cannot do it today. "

"And I tell you that you must do it today," William said. "You must look at these papers. I need to know whether or not, when you look at them, you see the same thing I saw. And much more importantly, you need to know whether you see it. Because if you do see it?—"

"Take your leave," James said, rising abruptly to his feet. "I've had enough of this."

"Damn it, James! You're going to regret not having listened to me."

"Just go," James said. "I have too much on my mind today.

I thought you would have come here with compassion—with empathy in your heart for me and for what I am going through.

But I see now that it isn't true, and so I don't wish to spend any more time in your company.

Go, now. Don't make me regret having allowed you into the place to begin with. "

"You're going to wish you'd listened to me," William said darkly. "You're going to wish you'd heard what I was trying to tell you when you look at those papers. You're going to wish you hadn't allowed?—"

James opened the door. "Get out."

"You're a fool," William snapped. "You're being an utter fool, and I feel sorry for you, James. If there was anything I could do to make you see what a fool you're being, I would do it, believe me." He turned and strode from the room.

James, still in a fury so hot that it felt as if he might ignite, returned to his chair and sat down.

He stared at the papers William had left behind.

It wasn't as if he was doing anything right now. Maybe he should do what William had said. Maybe he should look through them.

But he didn't want to. He didn't want to think about finances.

He thought instead about how angry it made him that his friend had tried to force him into doing this banal work on a day like today.

What could possibly have been his reason?

Had William understood that James was sitting here feeling unhappy about Victoria's marriage—had his point been to remind James that it was entirely his own fault?

Because that was the only thing he had succeeded in doing, and James could hardly believe his friend had taken it upon himself to do such a thing.

No, he wasn't going to look at these papers now, if for no other reason than that he knew looking at them would have brought William satisfaction, and satisfying his friend was the last thing he wanted to do right now. He couldn't bear the thought of having to tell William he had been right.

He shoved the papers into a drawer, where he wouldn't have to think about them any more for the rest of the day.

Then he rose from his chair again and went to get a glass of scotch.

It would be easier to face this day with a drink, easier if he didn't have to think about the fact that at this very moment, Victoria was preparing to say her vows to Lord Harbury.

Why did I ever push her to marry him?

Of course, the truth was that there had been no good excuse for not endorsing the marriage.

If, as he claimed, he wanted to see her well married to a good man who could take care of her, it couldn't be denied that Lord Harbury fit the bill perfectly.

He had the money it would take to provide for her. He claimed to care for her.

The only reason James had for opposing their marriage was the very thing Victoria had accused him of so many times—the thing he knew he couldn't possibly admit to now.

It was jealousy.

He wanted her for himself.

He had developed feelings for her, and the thought of her belonging to someone else, no matter how worthy that person might be, drove him mad. He couldn't bear it.

And yet…this was what was going to happen.

He had made the choice the moment he'd realized his feelings for her.

He couldn't allow another person to get close to him.

Never again. He had decided long ago to spend his life on his own, never to put his faith in other people.

He had sworn that he would never consider anyone to be family, because to do so was the quickest way to break your own heart.

In spite of everything, it still hurt that he hadn't had a family that had protected him from his stepmother's machinations. That wasn't something he would ever have. It wasn't something he would ever allow himself to reach for.

It was best to keep the walls up around himself. Soon enough, he would stop feeling this regret about Victoria finding love with someone else, and he would be able to move on.

He just had to wait.