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" I don't understand. Is this the kind of thing she ordinarily does?"

Maxwell the butler shook his head. "The Duchess has gotten used to being able to go where she likes when she likes," he said. "I'm sure it never occurred to her that she might need to tell you what she was doing."

"You don't need to defend her," James said.

"She knew exactly what she was doing. We argued last night, and when I awoke this morning, she was gone.

I thought there was an understanding between the two of us that if she was going to leave the house, she needed to let me know where she was going and when she would be back. "

"I'm sure she will return soon," Maxwell said soothingly.

"You can't know that." James was surprised by how worried he felt. "What if she's decided to run away for good?"

"She wouldn't have done that," Maxwell assured him. "The Duchess may have a mind of her own, but she's very intelligent. She wouldn't do anything that would put her at risk like that. You needn't worry. I'm sure she'll be home soon."

"See that you send her to my study the moment she arrives," James said tersely. He turned and walked away.

When he reached his study, he saw that Persephone the cat was already there. She was curled up in front of his fire, her yellow eyes on him and her tail switching back and forth. He felt as if she was daring him to say something about her presence.

James found that he didn't want to say anything.

It seemed such a short time ago that he would've sent the cat out, but now he found it was rather a relief to see her here.

It was a reminder that Victoria couldn't have left permanently.

She loved these cats too much. She could never have left them behind.

He went to his desk and sat down, trying to put his fears from his mind. She had gone out without asking him, but if she had meant never to return, she would have brought her cats with her. This was proof that she would be back.

The morning seemed to pass slowly. James tried to focus on his ledgers, but he couldn't. He tried to read, but it was impossible to take in the words of his book. He wasn't sure how much time had passed when at last he heard a knock on his study door. He rose to his feet and went to open it.

There she stood, a defiant look already on her face. "I know what you're going to say," she said.

James folded his arms across his chest. "You're still going to let me say it."

"Do what you must."

"You cannot go out like that. Do you know how worried I was?"

"Well, there was no need to be," she said. "I was with my sister."

"And I suppose it was simply too much to ask for you to tell someone where you were going?

"I don't know how you can ask me for that when you never tell me anything," she said.

"What does that mean?"

"You must be joking. After what happened at the ball last night? After what happened when we got home? You know exactly what I mean. All this time, you've had a brother, and you never mentioned it."

James threw up his hands in frustration. "Why should I mention it?" He demanded. "Ever since you learned who Benjamin was, you've been acting as if I kept some vital secret from you. I don't understand why you felt it was something you needed to know at all."

"And I don't understand why you felt the need to keep it confidential!"

"A man is entitled to secrets."

"But a man doesn't need secrets for no reason," Victoria said.

"That's the part that concerns me. Not the mere fact that you kept the secret, but what the reason for it might be.

And, more than that, if you didn't want me to know about your brother, what else are you hiding from me?

" She looked down at her feet. "I don't like it when men hide things from me. "

James hesitated. He could understand why she would feel that way. After all, men had been dishonest with her in the past.

He cleared his throat. "I owe you an apology," he admitted.

Victoria looked up.

"What I said to you yesterday," James clarified. "About the reason I didn't want you to spend time with Benjamin. That was completely untrue. Of course I'm not worried about his safety in your company."

Victoria closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh. "I didn't really think you were," she said. "I didn't understand what would make you say such a thing. You know I didn't murder the late duke."

"Of course I know that."

"Did you say it just to hurt me?"

"Of course not. I said it — well, I think I said it to end the conversation. But there's no excuse for that."

"Why were you so desperate to end the conversation?"

"The truth is, I didn't want to talk about Benjamin. That's why I never told you about him. That's why I didn't tell you who he was when the two of you first met."

"But why? I don't understand. He seems so kind. What's the matter with him?"

James sighed. "It isn't him," he admitted. "It's his mother. My stepmother."

Victoria frowned. "What about her?"

"She was awful to me," James said. He was surprised by how even his voice sounded.

He never spoke about this, and the words felt like daggers to his guts, but he sounded perfectly normal.

"My father remarried when I was about five years old.

His wife despised me. Things got worse after she gave birth to her son —Benjamin.

She resented that I was to be my father's heir, and that Benjamin would not. "

"I see," Victoria said. Her face had softened. "Did Benjamin resent you for that also?"

"Not a bit. Benjamin was never anything but kind to me.

I think one thing that's been hard for me to face, if I'm honest, is the fact that I've never been able to accept his kindness and be a true brother to him.

It's just that everything his mother did was so hurtful that I can’t even look at him without thinking of her. "

"What did she do that was so bad?"

"She was simply awful—and to be honest, Victoria, I don't care to talk about it. I don't want to think about her. The only thing I'll say now is that I feel lucky to have survived my childhood, sharing a home with her.

He said it matter-of-factly, but Victoria gasped. "You can't mean that!"

"I do mean it. She was a very cruel woman.

Of course, Benjamin was always her favorite, so I wouldn't be at all surprised if he simply didn't know this side of her character.

She treated him well, with nothing but respect, because he was her true son.

She wanted nothing but the best for him.

But for me…I think she would have been just as happy if I had disappeared, or if I had never existed in the first place.

To be honest, she probably would have been happier. "

"How can you say such a thing? What I mean is, how can you be sure of it? That your stepmother would wish you away like that…I know you weren't her true son, but you were only a child. She couldn't have felt like that. Nobody could feel that way toward an innocent child."

James gave her a small smile. "You mean to say that you couldn't feel that way," he told her.

"And of course you couldn't, because you're a good person, Victoria.

Of course it's foreign to you that someone could despise a child simply for existing.

But I tell you, she did. If there was anything she could have done to be rid of me, she would have done it. She wouldn't have hesitated.

"Didn't you tell anyone? Your father?"

"I told him, but he was simply too infatuated with her to see clearly, and he believed I had made the whole thing up.

I think he wanted to believe that," James said.

"Benjamin was only a child while all of this was happening, of course.

But even so, I think a part of me grew to resent him for not realizing what a terrible person his mother was.

Thinking on it now, it might have been too much to expect of him. "

"And is that why you moved away from London?"

"When I was nineteen years old, my father died, leaving me the title of viscount.

That was when I chose to leave the family home for good.

I gave my stepmother enough money from my father's estate to ensure that she and Benjamin would be able to live and that they would never bother me, and then I went off on my own. "

"I can't believe you gave them money."

"I had to. If I hadn't, my stepmother would have tried to stay in my life," James said. "I was ready to do whatever it took to rid myself of her once and for all."

"You believe she would have tried to remain in your life? You just said that she was ready to do whatever it took to be rid of you."

"Of course, but all that changed when I had my father's money," James said bitterly.

"She would have done anything to get her hands on that money—even put up with me.

A part of me did want to keep it from her, I can admit that.

But I didn't want it so badly that I was willing to spend one moment longer with her than was necessary. "

"No, I can understand that," Victoria said.

"I only meant that it surprises me that you didn't put up more of a fight about it.

You don't strike me as someone willing to give in to the sensible solution when it comes to getting what you want, if that means a compromise.

I would have thought you would put up more of a fight. That's all I'm saying."

"I just wanted to be rid of her," James said. "I just wanted to move on. I wanted that more than I wanted money—considerably more. I would have done almost anything to get her out of my life, and I'm glad I did it. I have no regrets."

Victoria nodded. "And you got rid of Benjamin at the same time," she concluded.

"The two of them went together."

"That's why you didn't want me to associate with him, then. Not for my sake or for his, but because you didn't want to allow him back into your life."

James nodded. "That's why."

"It's an understandable perspective to take."

"Even so, I should never have allowed it to drive me to say what I did to you," James said.

"I know you're not guilty of murder, and I'm ashamed that I suggested otherwise because I didn't want to explain my relationship with my brother to you.

I should have just told you all this. You asked me many times to explain myself.

You gave me many chances. I knew what you wanted from me, and I should have given it to you. "

"You didn't owe me anything." She glanced at the fire. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't realize Persephone was in here."

"She isn't doing anything wrong. She's not bothering me."

Victoria's eyes widened. "I thought you couldn't stand my cats."

"She isn't so bad. She's just enjoying the warmth of the fire," James said. "And having her here was nice, because it reassured me that you would be coming back."

"You really thought I might not be, didn't you?"

"I want you to tell me where you're going when you leave, Victoria."

She sighed. "I'm not used to having to answer to anyone," she told him.

"I know you're not. I understand that. And I'm not saying you have to answer to me. I'm just saying…for the sake of my peace of mind…I'm asking you. I'm asking you to tell me where you're going and when, so I won't worry about it. Can you do that for me? Please?"

She met his eyes. Hers were wide, and for the first time, it felt as if she was understanding him—really hearing what he was saying and empathizing with it.

"I can do that," she said quietly.

"Thank you," James murmured.

A part of him wanted to reach out and take her hand, to pull her close and reassure himself physically that everything was all right. Nothing bad had happened, in spite of his overblown fears—she was still here, still safe.

He cleared his throat and stepped back. "Thank you," he said again. "I truly appreciate your cooperation. I'll do all I can to find you a husband you feel something for, Victoria." But the idea of her finding love with anyone at all made him feel as if his stomach was turning inside out.

As if responding directly to what was going on inside him, she shook her head.

"I know it will never happen," she said quietly.

"I've accepted that this is your house, James, and that I will have to do as you ask.

I'll have to find another situation, and marriage might well be my only option.

But I know that I will never fall in love.

I know that's not going to be my future.

I suppose I must be open to the prospect of a marriage—but for me, marriage will never be synonymous with love. "