Page 237 of The Wicked

“But what if you hadn’t? What if you failed? One simple fucking wrong decision, Zahra. That’s all it takes.”

“I know that!”

“Do you!” he yelled in my face, and I flinched back. “Because when you act without thinking like you did today, it begs the question of whether that was your plan all along.”

I scoffed with a glare. “Yeah, because I’m some sociopath who loves to kill little children and herself while she’s at it, nothing unusual, just the Sunday fucking special.” I turned to step away from him, but his hand came around my arm and pulled me back to face him in one hard tug.

“Don’t fucking walk away from me.”

“Listen here, motherfucker; I have had theworstdamn day in all of this year combined, battling with stupid trauma while I tried to stay alive; the last thing I want”—I gestured between us—“is this.”

“Oh, sorry, Zahra, I genuinely apologize that you putyourself in a situation that had you battling childhood trauma. Do you want a shoulder pat?”

I was vibrating with anger when I gritted out a “Fuck off” and tried to tug myself free of his hold. “Let me fucking go, or I swear I’ll be the one doing the fucking punching.”

His hand dropped from my arm. “You think you were the only one who had abad day? Do you know the detestable things I had to do today? The damage control I had to take care of from your immature decisions while fucking worrying about that bus blowing to bits?”

I shot him a sweet smile filled with malice. “I was only doing the job you paid me for.”

“Agh,” he groaned, raising both his hands as if he wanted to strangle me, his fists clenching and unclenching as he turned away from me, loudly trying to control his breathing, which shook with anger as he kept his distance.

After a few seconds, he turned back to me. “Admit your mistake.”

I breathed out a strained laugh. “What?”

“Say that your actions weren’t the right ones to take. Say that you could have done about a thousand different things to change the outcome of today; apologize for fucking making me worry about you and my brother.”

I blinked, watching him before grinding my teeth together in a clench and standing taller. “I did what I thought was right, and as always, we survived.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“If you’re looking to break me, you might as well get back out there and get a gun to finish me off because I stand by my actions. It might have been a wrong call, but as long as I survived, I know damn well that I didn’t make a mistake.”

He didn’t like my response. It did something to him, something that had the anger leaving his eyes, replaced with a question.

“Why are you really here, Zahra?” he asked calmly.

“You brought me here.”

“I know I did,” he said with a tired frown, one that resembled disappointment. “But I didn’t care when my people found the location of your studio apartment. When they saw the little device in that anklet, and they thought your team was as dumb as they came, leaving something as delicate as that behind. I didn’t care what motive you guys had. At some point, I thought Elia wanted me to find him, but then—I got to know you.”

His gaze searched my face. “I started to see that this wasn’t Elia’s doing. It was yours. I was wary at first, but I shoved it aside because I had my goal set, and whatever you and whoever you work for were planning to do to me and the empire wouldn’t matter because there would be nothing left to take.”

My frown hardened. “I don’t work for anyone, and if you really want to know, I’m only here for the gold.”

“We both know that is a lie, and I honestly don’t care to know why you’re really here; or if you choose to remain boneheaded and deny your mistakes from today, I just need to understand why you were fucking with me.”

I paused, the glare on my face vanishing. “What are you talking about?”

He narrowed his eyes, pressing his lips into a thin line. “Zahra.” His voice was like coal: dense, yet solid. “If all you wanted out of this was the gold, my shelter, and the protection my name provided, why were you playing with me?”

I was confused. “Playing with you… what are you—”

“You lied to me, told me you and Elia didn’t have anything to do with each other. You knew I wouldn’t have crossed that line if I knew, and you fucking lied to me, Zahra.”

Gears were turning in my head very fast, spinning, spiraling. “What? No, what are you talking about? I didn’t lie… there is truly,most definitelynothing there—”

“The kids from the bus had something very different to say about that.”