Page 3 of The Way Home (Pathfinders Lake Romance #5)

Riley

Present Day

D riving into town, the knot that had been in my stomach since the plane landed had grown exponentially.

It wasn't like I hadn’t been back since I moved away, but it was usually for holidays.

Those had been hard enough, but it felt different this time.

I'd never come here by myself. There were too many complicated feelings about the cabin.

Really great memories, of course, but it was also the reason I'd been in a hurry to go away to college and not look back. Still, it haunted me: a ghost that clung to my heart, reminding me of what could have been.

The knot in my belly grew tighter as I turned onto a road I knew would take me past the church I used to attend on occasion.

The very one where I'd met him . That stolen moment was the start of a fling that would mark the greatest and worst summer of my life.

How many times had I wished I'd never been kissed by Jeremy?

It might have been one thing if kissing was all we did. But it was more. So much more. I'd given him my heart and my body, everything a sixteen-year-old in love could give. How could I have known it was going to be yanked away from me in a flash and become the biggest torment in my life?

Trying to center myself, I inhaled and exhaled slowly.

My eyes purposefully locked on the road ahead of me, avoiding the glimpse of the church's sign.

In a few miles, I would be safely away from the reminders that existed all over town and within the walls of the cabin.

Well, maybe not-so-safely. The cabin was the most haunted of all.

No actual ghosts, as far as I knew, but the source of my strongest memories, both good and bad. Strange how you could love and hate a place equally, but I did. My grip on the steering wheel tightened. “Pull it together, Riley.”

Perhaps my mom was onto something when she suggested I take a break. I'd been on edge for a while. Probably for a long time if I was being honest. At twenty-six, my life wasn't where I thought it would be.

The guidance counselors back in high school made it sound so easy. Go to college, get a degree, start your career, and settle down with a family. But hey… two out of four wasn't bad, right? Wrong . Fifty-percent was an F, no matter how the paper was graded.

Here I was with a degree that didn't translate well into work in the real world. I would have thought being a chemist would have opened a lot of doors, but so far I've been temping more than anything. And my love life? What a joke.

My inability to commit made settling down practically impossible.

The problem I found with every guy I'd dated was simply that they weren't him .

It wasn't even their fault, well… sometimes it was their fault, because I hadn’t always been great at picking people, but mostly they lived in the shadow of someone.

My body never forgot his, and my heart was held captive by the boy I once loved. Still loved.

Sigh . It wasn't Jeremy's fault either, but it sure as fuck felt easier to blame him.

As I turned onto the road that wound around Pathfinders Lake, the sun glistening off the still blue water, I felt my eyes grow hot with tears. I swiped at my eyes and muttered, “Fucking sunlight.”

Houses along the lake were few and far between, offering privacy and quiet, one of the biggest draws to the area.

Developers had tried and failed to buy up land from the owners, cutting their property in half, but each family fought against it, including ours.

The Rodriguez cabin had been in their family for two generations.

It might not be the biggest place, but the land it was on made it invaluable, even being set further back and having an obstructed view of the lake.

A sign with a circled R appeared, indicating the driveway which led to our cabin. As soon as I pulled off the road, I was hit with a memory as clear as the lake's water. It slammed into my chest so hard, I had to stop the rental car and close my eyes.

I was nervous, but not as nervous as my mom seemed to be. It seemed quick, but who was I to question, not when I'd met and fallen in love with a beautiful boy who made me feel like I was worth loving.

“Listen, Ri, I really like him. Well, it's more than that, honestly. Javi makes me feel alive again. This wasn't something I was looking for or expecting, but it's happened, and we're here now.”

“I'm not going to get in the way, Mom, as long as he treats you right.”

“He does. He treats me like a queen. Nothing like your father. Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that.” She sucked on her teeth.

“It's okay, Mom. I know Dad was an asshole.” The walls of our house had been thin enough to hear every argument they had.

She shot me a look, silently telling me to watch my language. I shrugged in response. “It's true.”

“That's beside the point. Just promise me you'll be nice. Javi has a kid about your age, too, maybe the two of you will get along.”

“Maybe. I'll try.”

“That's all I ask. Thank you, Ri.” My mom patted my leg.

I wanted to support her, wanted her to be happy, but I canceled a date with Jeremy to meet the man she'd been seeing. It had only been two months since we first met, but I was addicted to him already. I could still feel the weight of his body on mine, pressing me into his mattress.

Okay, I needed my mind anywhere else. I did not want to get hard while in the car with my mom. When I sat up and realized where we were, my eyes went wide as I noticed familiar landmarks.

“Where are we going?”

“To Javi’s house,” my mom replied with exasperation.

“Where is his house exactly?” My heart squeezed even tighter as we made a turn off the road.

“Javier owns a cabin. He lives there with his son. I know it’s off the beaten path a little, but don’t worry, he’s really nice, I swear.”

“No. It’s not that.” I shook my head in disbelief. It couldn’t be. There was no way.

She drove up the long driveway, a driveway I’d been on several times now. It had always been when his dad wasn’t home, so I’d never met him.

“What is it? Are you worried about meeting his son?”

I shook my head, staring in disbelief as we approached the old cabin. There were five steps leading up to the front door. I knew that already, because he’d surprised me with a bj right on those steps. I’d been terrified of getting caught, but there was literally nobody around.

“His name’s Jeremy. Javi said he just got selected for the varsity football team at school. It might be good to know one of the team, maybe he can even help you get acclimated at school.”

I felt the blood drain from my face when he walked out onto the porch with his dad. No. No. No. This couldn’t be happening.

Funny how the same feeling of panic could return all this time later as I drove up the driveway. Would this ever get easier? Maybe I should have just stayed in a hotel. But then hotels didn’t offer the views and quiet isolation that came with the cabin, and the price was right, too.

Deep breath. It was just a building, not a living, cursed thing, and I really could use some time to myself.

I parked my rental car, grabbed all of my luggage, and made my way to the door.

As old-fashioned as the house was, Javi had installed a keyless entry, so we all would have access to the cabin whenever we wanted or needed to.

He always insisted it was a safe house, a place of refuge, and even if your pockets were empty, you could still return home.

Javi was a great guy, and I couldn’t ask for a better stepdad. He’d always made it a point to include me. He’d been a far better dad to me than my own father, which made the whole Jeremy thing even harder.

Opening the screen door, I set a bag down to tap in the code, unlocking the door. It always seemed funny to me to see the newer tech on an old cabin, but it was nice not having to worry about a key.

The door screeched as it opened, a strangely nostalgic sound. I used to wonder why Javi hadn’t bothered getting it oiled or cleaned, but it worked pretty well as an alarm system too. No one was coming in through the front door without you hearing it.

I let the screen door close but kept the front door open to air out the cabin. Surprisingly, it wasn’t as musty as I expected. Maybe someone had been out here recently, though my mom hadn’t mentioned anything when I talked with her last week.

It wasn’t a big place, but it was homey, comfortable.

It had two bedrooms, which had been fine when it had just been Javier and Jeremy.

Once my mom and I moved in, though, it got a little cramped.

Even more so trying to live around Jeremy.

I thought of going to our old room—it was where we stayed when the whole family was here—but I wasn’t feeling the whole bunk bed thing.

I’d outgrown it. Years ago, really. I’d grown into my lanky legs and kept right on growing.

Now, at six-foot-three, I wasn’t going to force myself into the top bunk if I didn’t have to.

I walked down the hall, past the only bathroom in the cabin, to the slightly larger main bedroom the parents used and set all of my stuff down. I sat on the edge of the bed and put my head in my hands, recounting what brought me here.

I’d been living in Oregon for the last couple of years, working off and on with local environmental agencies, but the work was always seasonal or by contract for certain projects. At times, I really loved it, but it came and went too quickly, and it wasn’t consistent enough to be able to live on.

In a rather low moment with a long lapse between contracts, feeling lonely and sorry for myself, my thoughts returned to Jeremy.

Not my stepbrother who I couldn’t bear to see parading his nonstop train of lovers, but the boy who once pressed me against the bathroom wall in a church and gave me my first kiss.

Whenever that summer came to mind, I would do the logical thing and call my mom.

It was effectively an emotional cold shower, dousing my lust-filled memories with the reminder that I’d had to give him up.

She was the one who’d suggested this trip to get me out of my funk.

Only, now that I was here, the funk had come with me.

I scrubbed my hand through my short black hair and decided to take an actual shower and not just an emotional one.

Traveling always made me feel grimy anyway.

After unpacking my toiletries, I went to the bathroom.

As I waited for the shower to get hot, I took off my glasses and scrubbed a hand down my face, feeling a huge mix of emotions.

It was weird to be back here, especially alone, but it wasn’t all bad. There were good memories here, too.