Page 26 of The Way Home (Pathfinders Lake Romance #5)

I pulled a face, and he snickered. “Okay, it might be a little weird at first, but I really don’t think they are going to care. I think they’ll be happy for us.”

Javi and my mom were accepting people. Deep down I knew what he was saying was probably true, but I still couldn’t fathom how to start that conversation.

Jeremy’s hand landed on my leg. “Okay. Parents we can handle. What else you got?”

“People?” I shrugged.

He snorted. “People. What people?”

“I don’t know, friends?”

“Fuck ’em. If our friends can’t be happy for us, then it seems like a good time to make some new ones. As for anyone else, I’m not going to let their opinions infect my life. They're not the ones living it.”

I shook my head in awe. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Make it sound so easy.” The way he spoke made me believe it. He made me feel like it was all possible.

“Being with you is easy. Everything else is just noise.”

My chest warmed, and my lips curved up. This man. I absolutely would never find another like him, and I didn’t want to. “For someone who says they don’t do relationships, I think you’re off to a good start.”

Jeremy grinned wide. “It sounds like you’re coming around to the idea.”

My head bobbed slowly. “I’m getting there.”

With a pump of his arm, Jeremy shouted, “Yes!”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Better get used to it, darling.” Jeremy pulled my chair closer to his and kissed my smile. “Okay. Parents. People. We got it all covered. Is there anything else holding you back?”

I sighed heavily. There was one more thing, the biggest fear of them all. My gaze fell, and I lowered my voice. “You.”

Jeremy’s head jerked back as if I’d struck him. “Me? Why?”

I bit my lip, trying to keep from running away.

I didn't want to give voice to it, but if we were going to move forward, I had to say it. “I’m terrified that I’m going to fall so deeply for you, and one day you are going to wake up and realize that I’m not good enough for you.

If that happens, I don’t think I could ever go back to being your brother.

It’ll break me, and it’ll break our family. ”

A flash of hurt appeared on his face before morphing into something like determination. “Fuck, Ri… I… I’ll be right back.”

Stunned, I watched him get up and run down the hallway, which wasn’t at all the reaction I expected. Saying it out loud made my stomach twist in knots, but it was the thought I’d had the most. For all my uncertainty about starting something up again, the worst part of it was thinking of it ending.

When Jeremy returned, he had his open laptop in his hands and went to the couch. “Can you come over here?”

I stood from the table and walked around the couch, not sure what to do. Jeremy patted the spot next to him, and I took it. “What are you doing?”

“I need to show you something.” He pressed a couple keys on his laptop, and then set it on the coffee table so we both could see it. The screen showed a paused video of a football game with a team that looked familiar. My eyes automatically sought out Jeremy’s number.

My brows pinched, and I looked at him. “I don’t get it.”

“Just watch.” Jeremy pressed play and sat back.

As it began, recognition set in. It moved in slow motion, or maybe that was simply how I remembered it. My hand found Jeremy’s, and I squeezed it tight, knowing what was coming. I whispered, “I remember this game.”

“As do I. Vividly. I watched it to take notes last week. It was the first time I let myself watch it, and the first time I had the full picture of what happened.”

I hid my face in his shoulder. “I don’t want to see it.”

“I know, but I need you to, please.”

With my cheek still resting on him, I angled my face to see the video.

It was coming, I squeezed his hand hard, bracing myself.

The smack of body hitting body and body hitting ground were almost unbearable.

Jeremy was down, tackled and not moving.

I tucked myself into his side. That had been one of the scariest moments I’d ever witnessed.

I didn’t know if he was going to get up again.

Seeing it again made that feeling come right back.

A pain in my chest at imagining the worst.

Jeremy paused it and pulled the time bar back enough to play it again. “What are you doing? I don’t want to watch you get hurt again.”

He slid a glance over to me with a look of understanding. His own golden skin had paled slightly. This couldn’t be easy for him to see either, so why was he doing it? “I know. I know. Don’t watch me. Watch the crowd.”

He hit play, and I forced my eyes away from the field, staring at the people instead. It was faint, but I heard it. I saw it. I saw myself . There I was, screaming his name, feeling the pain that accompanied it tightening around my chest.

Jeremy stopped the video, closed the laptop, and turned to face me. “I heard you.”

I was still having a visceral response to seeing and hearing that intense moment, and I wasn’t fully back in the present yet. “What?”

He put a hand to his chest, and a bead of sweat rolled down his forehead.

“I stopped breathing. Stopped. Panic was setting in as my brain tried to catch up, but I was afraid. I’ve never told anyone how afraid I really was in that moment.

I’m supposed to be strong, supposed to be able to shake things off, but I was scared.

Then I heard your voice. I’ve spent years thinking it was all in my head, that it was a trick of the mind from not getting enough oxygen, but I heard you.

Riley, you called my name, and I started breathing.

I didn’t know it was real until I watched the video recently. ”

I swiped at my cheek where a tear had escaped and looked at him through blurry eyes. “What are you saying?”

Instead of answering, Jeremy said, “Sometimes, storms take me back there. The smell of wet grass, rain on my cheeks, thunder, and I lose my breath all over again. It has gotten better over time, but when my emotions are heightened, it sneaks back in.”

“Like the other night?”

Jeremy nodded. “Yes. It was particularly bad because of all the stress I’d managed to work up about my interview. Then you came in, and you gave me my breath back.”

“I didn’t do much.”

Jeremy clasped my face in both hands. “You did, though. You knew something was wrong, you stayed with me, and you helped me relax to the point where I didn’t notice the storm anymore.

In that space, I didn’t have to be the star player or the tough athlete, or the strong gym guy.

I could simply be someone who needed you, and you were there. ”

“I will always be there to help you weather any storm, Jem.”

He leaned in and kissed me, long and slow, until I melted into him.

When he pulled back, he rested his forehead on mine.

“And that’s why you never need to be afraid of me leaving you.

You’re the only person I’ve ever felt comfortable letting my guard down with.

I don’t ever want you to think that you’re not good enough for me, because you are.

You are handsome, smart, funny, sexy as fuck, and you make me feel safe.

Riley, you give me my breath when I lose it. ”

Tears were flowing free now, and I fell against Jeremy. He shifted and laid back against the arm of the couch, pulling me with him until I was laying on top of him. He kissed my head and wiped away a streak on my cheek.

I sniffled and said, “Okay.”

“Okay, what?”

“I’m in.”

“You gotta give me a few more words, darling, so I can be sure what you’re saying.”

“I’m saying you had your chance to back out, but it’s too late now. We’re doing this, and you’re not allowed to leave me.”

The rumble of laughter that rolled through Jeremy shook my entire body. “I’m not going anywhere.”