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CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

GOING HOME

EMMA

“ A nd so the question on everyone’s minds, Emma: What’s next?”

The question I’ve been dreading for so long. One that I finally feel confident in answering. Seeing Jax and the girls tonight before the game was the mood boost that I needed before taking the field for the last time. Before I wore the captain’s band for the last time. Before I played my last forty-something minutes of professional soccer.

I’ve dreaded the question, but I finally have an answer.

“Retirement. Leaving this game that I love, and has been such a part of my life for so long, on my own terms. When I was recovering from my injuries, I moved in with my sister, and was reminded of the importance of family and support, but I mostly kept to myself, until she moved out and I was left on my own to get out and meet people. And that’s what I did. I met someone.” Tears sting my eyes, and roll slowly down my cheeks as I think of the man I’m going home to. “The most wonderful family of someones. And tonight, Julie, I’m walking off the field under my own power, making this choice for myself, and for them . What’s next? Hopefully the best chapter of my life so far.”

Julie watches me in stunned silence. I remember a brief window of time, when she and I were teammates, and she made this same decision for herself, and when the camera is off and she’s done with her spot, Julie wraps her arms around me in a tight hug.

“I am so proud of you, Emma.”

“Thanks, Jules.” I return her embrace quickly before she has to move on to her next interview and I move down the tunnel into the locker room. After a quick shower, I throw my clothes in my bag, and order a car to the airport.

And now, I’m a distant memory. The sports networks have moved on to free agent signings in baseball, college football rankings, and disappointing hockey teams. And as I sit down at my gate, waiting to board, I wait for the feeling of regret to wash over me, but it never comes. If anything I’m feeling…hopeful, if a little scared. Not scared of Jax, or our future together, but a little scared that I’m not cut out for what’s next for us.

While I wait to board, I call my sister. “Molly, I’m flying back early, any chance you can pick me up? And then drive me to Saratoga?” The words tumble out of my mouth in a rush. And I know that it’s late, so late, in Boston. I’m not even sure if Molly registered anything I’ve said.

“Yes.” She doesn’t hesitate. “When do you get in?”

“It’s a red eye, I’ll be there,” I look at the departures board in front of me with my estimated arrival time in glowing red numbers, “looks like I’ll be there by six o’clock.”

“We’ll get coffee and donuts, and then drive. I’ll be there.”

“Molly, I can’t thank you enough.”

“I saw the postgame interview,” Molly’s tone softens. “I’m so proud of you, Emma.”

“Thanks, Molly. It was easier than I thought it would be. Helps to know he’s waiting for me.”

“I bet it does. Does he know you’re coming home early?”

“No. I’m hoping to surprise him. I need to try and coordinate something with Amanda, but it’s so late.”

“Text her. She’ll get it when she wakes up. And I’ll see you in a few hours.”

After disconnecting with Molly, I send a text to Amanda, letting her know that I’m waiting for a plane and coming home earlier than I’d planned. I’d like to be able to surprise Jax and the girls, but I’m not sure how. When the bubble on the other side of the screen starts to bounce, hope surges.

Are you on the plane now? She asks.

Nope. Waiting at my gate.

I wait for her response, and soon my phone is buzzing in my hand.

“Hey Amanda,” I answer quickly, keeping my voice low so as not to disturb the handful of travelers around me.

“First of all, congratulations. The game was amazing, your post game interview was amazing, and I can’t wait to see you soon. Second, I’m totally on board with surprising Jax and the girls. How are you getting back to Saratoga?”

“I’m flying to Boston. Molly is picking me up and driving me back home.”

“Perfect. Have her bring you to the Hutchinson’s, we can hide you in a room upstairs. The guys are getting ready at our house, I’ll have the girls at Mom and Dad’s, and…we’ll figure out the rest of the logistics later. Do you have a dress?”

Crap.

“No. I don’t…”

“That’s okay. We’ve got time to figure that out, too. For now, get some rest, enjoy your flight, and I’ll see you before you know it!”

“Thank you so much, Amanda.”

“We take care of family, Emma. You’re one of us now. You have been for a while.”

“I don’t know what to do with that…”

“That’s okay. I didn’t at first either, but you get used to it. See you soon.”

We finally board, and due to the last-minute nature of my ticket, I’m in a middle seat, and the passengers on either side of me don’t seem thrilled with any part of our trip, and while I’m not either, I can’t wait to get home. I can’t wait to see Jax and the girls, and get him alone so that we can talk. But first I have to get home. I’m too keyed up to sleep on the plane so I rehearse what I’m going to say to him. Over and over and over again, I play the words in my head. Eventually I doze off, just in time for us to land in Boston. When the rest of the plane has emptied of passengers, I grab my bag from the overhead bin and race down the jetway.

Molly is waiting for me, and she immediately grabs my bag and takes off in the direction of her car, pressing a coffee into my hands when I slide into the passenger seat beside her.

“What’s the plan?”

“I’m going home,” I tell her. “Back to Saratoga. To the Hutchinson’s.”

Molly grins as she starts the car and starts to navigate us out of the airport and into the early morning Boston traffic. My phone buzzes with incoming notifications now that I’m off the plane and I weed through to figure out where to start with responses.

From Amanda: Text me when you land. James and I have a plan.

From my parents: What a game, Kid! So proud of you!

And from Jax: Ice. Elevate. Come home to me soon. I love you.

I respond immediately to Amanda, letting her know that I’ve landed and Molly and I are on our way.

We’ve got your room ready at Mom and Dad’s. Take a nap, shower, I’ll come and get you for lunch. James will occupy Jax and the girls while we have lunch and figure out your dress situation. Unless you’d rather go home, but it’s Christmas Eve and everyone wants to see you. Molly can hang out with us too. See you soon.

That’s a lot to take in, but I’m used to the overwhelming kindness of this family now, and it’s hard to say no.

“Amanda said you should stay and hang out today. Don’t just drop me off.”

“Cool,” Molly nods, her lips twitching the tiniest bit. “I think I can do that.”

There’s that twitch again. That’s her ‘trying not to spill the beans’ smile. But I’m too tired to interrogate her just now.

My fingers itch to respond to Jax and tell him that I’ll be home sooner than he thinks, but if I do that, I’ll spoil the surprise. And for now, a car nap is calling my name. I didn’t sleep for more than a few minutes on the plane, and after a busy day yesterday, I’m exhausted. I’d love to catch up with my sister on the drive, but I lean back against the headrest and close my eyes, letting the rhythm of the road lull me to sleep.

Molly shakes me awake and I open my eyes to find the familiar and comforting sight of the Hutchinson family home in front of me and I sigh with relief. I grab my bag and carry it up to the front porch, noticing for the first time that Molly has her own overnight bag that she carries up the steps and right into the house.

“Go upstairs and rest,” she says, dropping her own bag against the wall before heading deeper into the house. “I’m going to go say hi to Mom and Dad.”

I shake my head, certain I didn’t hear her correctly in my sleep deprived state, choosing to climb the stairs and find the door with my name on it, dropping onto the plush bedspread, my head dropping onto the pillows and sleep claiming me quickly – the benefit of exhaustion.

I wake to surprisingly warm December sunlight streaming in from the sliding balcony door and the sound of laughter carrying up from the main floor of the house. I stretch the kind of deep shuddering stretch that only comes after a good, long sleep, and it feels good to luxuriate in the pillows and blankets and warmth of the winter sun, knowing that my future stretches out in front of me without looming contracts and duplicitous agents.

Making my way to the bathroom, I splash some water on my face and tame my hair into a braid before following the smell of coffee and baked goods to the kitchen where familiar faces stop me in my tracks. Dad is bent over his phone, Mandy, Jenna, and Penelope gathered around him as he shows off photos – presumably of Molly and me – and Mom is seated with Claire in the living room, looking through Hutchinson family albums.

“I thought you were spending Christmas in Vienna!” Penelope scoots away so that I can greet my dad with a hug and kiss on the cheek.

“We came home early,” Dad hugs me tight and presses a soft kiss to my forehead. “We wanted to surprise you when you got home, so Molly put us in touch with Ben and Claire, and now here we are.”

“And we’re so glad they’re here,” Ben enters the kitchen with several aluminum catering trays in his hands. “Your dad has been helping me with the pastries for the Christmas Eve ball.”

Ben hands me a flaky, buttery pastry fresh from the oven before stacking the already cooled confections in the catering trays and securing the lids.

“Elaine is on her way to pick these up, if you wouldn’t mind helping her load them in her car.”

When Mrs. Owens arrives, I do as Ben asked, carrying the trays out to her waiting vehicle.

“Emma, this is a surprise!” Mrs. Owens wraps me in a warm hug before holding me at arm’s length and looking me over, head to toe. “Great match last night. I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you,” heat rises in my cheeks at her praise. “I appreciate that Mrs. Owens.”

“Elaine. Please. And on that note, I owe you an apology.”

“For what?” I blurt and for once I don’t try to cover or mask it. I let it hang between us like the snowflakes in the air.

“For not being forthcoming about my relationship with Mackenzie and Alice. And Jax. It’s not necessarily common knowledge around the school that they are my granddaughters, but once you and Jax started dating, one of us should have told you sooner.”

“Honestly, I had my suspicions, but I didn’t feel like it was my place to ask. You don’t owe me an apology.”

“Well…good.” I’ve flustered Elaine Owens. That’s somehow better than last night’s win. “I just wanted to clear the air. In case we’re family some day.”

“On that note, Elaine,” there’s a question in the back of my mind. One I’ve been thinking about for a while and something I need to discuss with Jax, but considering the history… “Is that something you’d be okay with? Me being…part of the family?”

“Oh Emma,” Elaine looks at me the way Maureen did the night she asked Molly and me if she could marry our dad. “I’d be honored to have you in the family. Now, wipe those tears and get back inside. You have a ball to get ready for!”

There’s never a dull moment with Elaine Owens.

I have to laugh as she sends me back into the house where I’m ambushed by the Hutchinson women, Molly, and my mom.

“We’re taking the girls to the salon this afternoon,” Mandy informs me, “and since I’m sure they won’t be able to keep a secret if they see you, are you good here for a while?”

“I’m good, I just don’t have a dress.”

“We’re the same size,” Mandy whispers as she hugs me. “Check the closet upstairs.”

Mom and Molly stand on either side of me, staring down at the dress laid out on the bed in front of us. The green gown has a full satin skirt, and an off the shoulder, lace bodice that immediately draws the eye. The deep green color is perfect for the occasion, but I can’t wear this. And I tell Mandy as much as soon as she answers the phone.

“Of course you can,” she assures me. “It’s your size.”

“Size isn’t the issue, Mandy.”

“Then what is the issue?” She’s incredibly patient with me which is both frustrating and comforting.

The issue isn’t the dress. The issue is whether or not I’m making the right decision in going tonight. In surprising him, in asking him to make me a part of his life in a more permanent way. A part of the girls’ lives. Telling him that I’m ready for that is a huge step, and one that I don’t take lightly. One I’ve been thinking about long before I decided to retire. Long before I decided to come home early.

I don’t answer right away, and Mandy doesn’t push, but eventually she does break the silence.

“If you’re worried about Jax, don’t be. He’ll be happy to see you, I promise.”

“I’m going to choose to trust you on that one.”

“Good. Now go. I’ll see you tonight.”

Here goes nothing.