Page 18 of The Unseen (Echoes from the Past #5)

FIFTEEN

London, England

Quinn set aside the necklace once Alex began to fuss.

He’d been asleep for over two hours and would now need a clean nappy and a feeding.

She enjoyed the hours of peace and quiet while he slept, but was always happy to spend time with him when he woke.

Alex was a happy baby. As long as he was dry and fed, the world was his oyster.

Quinn deftly changed the baby and put him to her breast, happy to see him suck greedily.

He had a good appetite and was putting on weight: signs of a healthy baby.

She loved seeing his little hand splayed on her breast, as if he were holding on to her, afraid she’d take the breast away before he was truly full.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll never leave you hungry,” she said to him, her voice brimming with tenderness. “You take as much as you need.”

Alex continued to suck happily, oblivious to the doorbell that buzzed unexpectedly and startled Quinn out of her reverie.

She wasn’t expecting anyone. Perhaps it was a parcel delivery.

Gabe might have ordered something online.

Quinn carefully got up without disturbing the nursing baby and went to check the little screen by the door.

Sylvia. For one brief moment, Quinn considered not allowing her to come up, but then she dismissed the idea.

Sylvia had come all this way. It’d be rude not to let her in. Quinn buzzed her up.

“Oh,” Sylvia said as she came in and saw the infant at Quinn’s breast. “I didn’t realize you’d decided to nurse.”

“It’s better for the baby.”

“I bottle-fed the boys and they turned out just fine,” Sylvia commented as she shrugged off her coat and hung up her scarf.

She refrained from mentioning that Quinn had been bottle-fed as well, since her adoptive mother hadn’t had the option to nurse her, although Susan Allenby would have liked nothing more.

Sylvia came into the living room and held out a prettily wrapped package decorated with a sparkly blue bow. “This is for my grandson. The toy is store-bought, but the blanket I knitted myself. It’s machine washable and won’t shrink,” she added.

“Thank you. That’s very kind. Eh, why are you here, Sylvia?” Quinn asked. She had no wish to be rude, but she didn’t have the type of relationship with Sylvia where they just dropped in on each other. She doubted they ever would.

“I wanted to talk to you, Quinn, if that’s all right.”

“Give me a moment to finish nursing and then I’ll make us a cup of tea.”

“I can make the tea; you concentrate on the baby. Looks like he’s full,” she added. Alex had stopped sucking and was watching Sylvia with interest.

Quinn hoisted the baby onto her shoulder and held him upright as she patted his back lightly. Alex let out a belch worthy of a sailor and smiled happily. “What do you say to a little time on your play mat?” Quinn asked. “You like playing there, don’t you?”

She lowered Alex to the floor and laid him down on his back, so he could look up at the colorful plastic shapes suspended from the overhead arches and reach for the lower-hanging toys. He was in heaven. “Let’s have tea in here, so I can keep an eye on him.”

“I’ll get it. Milk, no sugar. Right?”

“Right.”

Sylvia brought out two mugs of tea and set them on the coffee table before getting settled in an armchair across from the sofa.

She looked tired and not as elegantly turned out as she usually was.

She wore an oversized navy jumper over a pair of leggings and short boots, not her normal chic style at all.

Sylvia’s face looked puffy, and her mouth was downturned at the corners.

“Are you all right, Sylvia?”

“I’ve been better, if you must know. I miss Rhys.”

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you two.”

“It might have, but let’s not rehash that again.

” Sylvia reached for her mug and took a long swallow of tea, as if bracing herself for a difficult conversation.

“Look, Quinn, I need you to stop punishing me for something I did when I was seventeen. It’s not fair.

I could have handled things better, I know that now, but I will not keep apologizing for the choices I made. ”

“I’m not punishing you for something you did when you were seventeen. I’m punishing you for something you did last year. You should have told me about Quentin.”

“Yes, in retrospect, I should have probably told you, but I was afraid.”

“Of what?”

“Of this. Of your unyielding moral superiority. You don’t know what you might have done in my place.

It’s easy to judge when you have a loving husband and a well-paying career.

I only just found you, and I didn’t want to destroy our relationship before it had a chance to begin.

I wanted to get to know you, and I hoped that once you got to know me, maybe you’d be more understanding when I finally told you the truth. ”

“Let’s face it, Sylvia, I don’t think you were ever going to tell me the truth.

You wrote Quentin off the moment you left her at the hospital, just as you wrote me off.

Had you not stumbled on that article about me, you’d never have tried to find me.

You were content enough living without me for thirty years. ”

“Quinn, I know you’re angry, but can you not find it in your heart to give me the benefit of the doubt?”

“I was so happy to have met you, and so excited to learn something of where I came from, especially once I got to know Seth, but now that I have my own baby, I find it even more difficult to comprehend how you could have just left a child that was gasping for breath and walked away without a backward glance.”

“I’m not proud of what I did, but I was young and foolish. I wanted my life back. I wanted a future. You two were better off without me.”

“And better off without our father? Seth is a good man, Sylvia. I like him. He’s kind, caring, and most of all, he’s direct.”

“Well, he is American, isn’t he?” Sylvia retorted.

“He loves me, Sylvia. I can feel it every time I speak to him, and every time I see him. I’ve never felt that from you.”

“I do love you,” Sylvia snapped.

“Do you?”

“Quinn, I’m not an overly demonstrative person, but the thought of losing you again devastates me. Please, give me another chance.”

Quinn tilted her head and looked at Sylvia.

This was her chance to find out the answer to a question that had been bothering her since the day she’d met her birth mother.

It wasn’t fair to use Sylvia’s desire to have a relationship with her as leverage, but she needed to know, especially if she hoped to maintain her relationship with Seth.

“All right, but I will ask you a question and I need an honest answer. I won’t judge you or hold what you said in the past against you, but I need to know for the sake of my relationship with my father. Did Seth rape you? Did any of them? ”

Sylvia hung her head. Her hands were folded in her lap, her fingers intertwined in a way that had to be painful. When she finally answered, her voice shook with emotion. “I couldn’t tell you the truth, Quinn. I just couldn’t. I was too ashamed.”

“Go on.”

“We were all quite drunk. It was the most fun I’d had since my mother walked out on us and I didn’t want the night to end.

I didn’t want to go home to my dour father and my lonely room.

It was Christmas Eve, but we didn’t have so much as a wreath, much less a tree.

My father had just given up and made no pretense of even trying, not even for my sake.

I had no idea where my mother had gone, and even though I hoped she’d ring me on Christmas, deep down I knew she wouldn’t.

She’d abandoned me, in every way it was possible to abandon a child.

At least I never really knew you and your sister, but my mother had raised me.

We’d had a relationship, a bond. I missed her,” Sylvia whispered.

She looked up at Quinn, her eyes searching for understanding, and Quinn nodded, acknowledging Sylvia’s pain. She could understand how bewildered Sylvia must have felt, how bereft, especially if her father had shut down after his wife left and paid little attention to his daughter’s feelings.

“The other two girls went home, seeing which way things were headed, but I stayed.

Willingly. Robert was the first to make his move.

I resisted a bit at first, but he was an aggressive bloke, sure of himself and his appeal.

He was used to getting his way. He began to kiss me and slid his hands beneath my jumper and cupped my breasts.

It felt good. He made me feel sexy and desirable.

We just snogged for a while, and then he pulled me down to the floor.

The room was dim, with only the light from the fireplace casting a glow over the scene, and the carpet beneath me was thick and soft.

It was surreal, in a way. I should have stopped him.

I knew what he would try to do, but I just lay there, warmed by the fire and drowsy from the champagne.

“I allowed him to pull off my jeans and knickers. Seth and Rhys watched, and it turned me on to see the hunger in their eyes. They wanted me too. I felt no fear, no shame. Robert had me right there and then. He didn’t rape me.

I allowed him to do it. He was drunk, and it only lasted a minute or so.

He wasn’t up to much. When he was done, I reached out for Seth.

He was so good-looking, so strong, and his American accent and confidence were like an aphrodisiac.

I hadn’t really enjoyed it with Robert, but Seth took his time. He cared about my pleasure.”

“And Rhys?” Quinn asked.

“Rhys just stood there, rooted to the spot. He was shocked, but couldn’t force himself to look away. I guessed he was still a virgin and I felt sorry for him. ‘Have a turn,’ I told him. ‘You might as well. Your mates have had their fun.’