Page 15 of The Unseen (Echoes from the Past #5)

TWELVE

London, England

Quinn checked on Emma, tucked in Alex, who was sleeping peacefully, and climbed into bed, grateful to be off her feet at last. It had been a long day and she was tired.

Gabe was already in bed, reading a book about Richard III.

He marked his place, set the book aside, and switched off the bedside lamp.

He turned to Quinn, watching as she settled in, leaving a wide gap between them.

She wanted to reach for him, but she felt tense as a spring, her body rigid and unyielding.

Jill’s accusing words about Alex being her first priority and Emma’s earlier queries about sex had left her feeling hollow and weepy.

Jill was right—it was all about the baby.

His needs eclipsed everything, especially her need for intimacy.

She and Gabe had made love twice since she’d recovered from the cesarean, but it wasn’t the same.

Something was missing, and she knew it was on her end.

She hadn’t felt a twinge of desire since the baby was born and had pretended to enjoy Gabe’s caresses to spare his feelings, but she was sure he knew, probably tipped off by the fact that she had lain there like roadkill, waiting for him to finish.

The thought of being touched upset her and made her want to curl into herself like a shrimp.

Her body was no longer her own. Her breasts were engorged with milk, her nipples sore from nursing every three hours, and her belly marred by angry red stretch marks that flowed across her milky skin like rivers on a map.

The incision had healed, but the scar was ropy and sensitive to the touch.

She didn’t feel attractive and couldn’t see how Gabe could find her desirable.

He was just going through the motions, taking care of his physical needs .

“Have you completely gone off me?” Gabe suddenly asked, as if reading her thoughts.

“No.”

“Then why do you shrink away from me every time I reach for you? You always used to snuggle up against me when you came to bed, but now you’re all the way over there, rigid as a plank, hoping I’ll turn over and go to sleep without bothering you.”

“Because I think you’re reaching for me out of a sense of obligation rather than desire. I’m afraid you find me repellent,” she muttered, wondering if it was a mistake to admit to her insecurity.

“Repellent?” Gabe gaped at her, clearly stunned by her words.

“Don’t you? I see how your eyes slide away whenever I’m nursing Alex. My breasts are huge and swollen, and you find them repugnant.”

Gabe let out a frustrated sigh and rolled onto his side, his head supported by his hand so he could look down at her. “Quinn, that’s not the reason I look away.”

“Then what is?”

“I look away because I am ashamed of myself.”

“Why would you feel ashamed? You’re not the one lactating like a cow.”

“Because watching you nurse our son brings out some primal, uncontrollable urge in me. I want to push you down, force your legs apart, and go at you until you hurtle over the edge of your restraint and give yourself to me without reservation. I don’t want to be gentle or considerate, I want to be selfish and forceful, and pound you like a madman until you remember that you are mine, and that I have the power to make you scream as you straddle the knife edge between pleasure and pain, your body at my mercy as I show you what it means to be desired and well loved. ”

“Is that really how you feel?” Quinn asked, stunned by how far off the mark she had been in her understanding of Gabe’s feelings.

“Yes, and it’s awful, I know. I’m not that man.

I’m not some thug who wants to hurt his woman and force her into sexual submission.

I’m a civilized human being who’s been taught to take his partner’s needs into consideration and never do anything that might cause pain or discomfort, but the desire is too strong to master, so I look away, terrified that you’ll see it in my eyes and despise me. ”

Quinn felt a white-hot bolt of desire strike her lower belly as her nether regions began to throb with need.

Gabe’s words had unleashed something in her, pushing past her apathy, fatigue, and lack of confidence.

She wanted him, and she wanted him this minute.

She didn’t want him to kiss or caress her.

She wanted him to just take her. “Do it,” she ordered him.

“Do what?”

“What you just said. Be selfish and forceful.”

“Are you sure that’s what you want?’

“Yes. I want you to give in to that urge and show me what it feels like.”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to stop once I get going.”

“Then don’t. Don’t stop until you get what you need.”

Gabe rolled on top of her and pinned her wrists to the mattress.

His eyes were like dark pools of desire, his pupils dilated in the darkness of the room.

His face was set in harsh lines, the familiar features suddenly foreign and frightening.

He yanked her knickers off and pried her legs open with his knee before taking possession with one hard stroke.

Quinn cried out and arched her back, desperate to take him in deeper as he went at her, again and again, hard and fast. There were no words of love or tender kisses, just raw unbridled lust that made her insides quake as she slammed her hips against his.

She raked her nails over Gabe’s back and cried out with every thrust, breathless with ecstasy and completely oblivious to the baby sleeping just a few feet away.

Gabe grabbed her legs and draped them over his shoulders, penetrating her deeper and harder until something inside her snapped and she tumbled over the threshold, her body shuddering with the type of release she hadn’t experienced since the night she conceived Alex.

Gabe had been furious with her that night for putting herself in danger and lying to him about her intention to confront the man she believed to be her biological father, and he’d been aggressive and unyielding when they came together, as much in anger as in love.

Perhaps that was what she wanted. She needed to allow herself to surrender to his passion, to give up control for just a little while.

She was always an equal partner, but sometimes she had no wish to be.

Sometimes she wanted to be mastered, possessed, and reminded that she had the power to drive him mad with desire and jealousy until the veneer of civility fell away, allowing her a glimpse of the man he might have been had he not been brought up in the twentieth century.

For one brief moment, she had a vision of Guy de Rosel, and the two merged, the academic and the knight, so different, yet so alike.

Quinn went limp beneath Gabe, her body weightless as she floated on a cloud of pure blissful pleasure.

Her insides were quivering, like aftershocks after a volcanic eruption.

Gabe collapsed on top of her, damp with perspiration.

He was still inside her, their bodies joined in the age-old dance of possession and love.

He kissed her temple, then bent down and captured her lips in a sweet kiss.

The storm of passion had passed, leaving them both utterly spent.

“All right?” he whispered into her ear.

“More than all right. It was earth-shattering,” Quinn confessed, a sated smile tugging at her lips .

“So, you don’t mind a bit of rough now and then?” Gabe asked, only half-joking.

“No, I don’t. You never have to feel like you can’t tell me what you want, Gabe. As a matter of fact, you’re not the only one who appreciates the breastfeeding experience.”

“Meaning?”

“Rhys was just waxing poetic about its power to arouse,” Quinn explained.

“Did he now? And is it you he was aroused by?”

“Of course not. Are you seriously jealous of Rhys?”

“Rhys’s feelings for you are complicated, to say the least.”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about on that score.”

“Go to sleep, love, unless you’re up for another round.” Gabe’s voice was soft but full of promise, making her shiver. It was only as she began to drift off to sleep that she realized they hadn’t used any birth control.