Page 79 of The Truths We Burn

“She gets deep sometimes. You get used to it.” Briar laughs. “But she’s right. You have no friends, and you could do worse than us. College is about meeting new people, making new bonds, right?”

“I—”

I don’t know how to be a friend.

That’s what I wanted to say.

I’m not sure how to be someone’s friend, not really. These two aren’t something superficial put in place to fit a certain image. They’re the kind of friends who share secrets and tears. I’ve never done that. I’ve never been that for someone, and I’m not sure I can.

But even if I can’t, this could help me.

They would be able to update me on everything that had changed. More importantly, Briar would be able to get me close enough to Alistair to talk to Silas.

And maybe, I don’t know, maybe I could—

No, Sage.

You have one goal, and building relationships is not it. You won’t even be here long enough to build trust with them. You’ll be gone and out of everyone’s hair as soon as your father is finished breathing. That’s it.

“I’m Sage. Sage Donahue,” I offer them, aware that they already know me, but I feel like I need to say it out loud for myself.

“Nice to meet you, officially,” Lyra says. “Welcome to the Loner Society, Sage.”

Rook

“Is there a reason you’re being extra moody today, Rook?”

The edge of the axe splits through the center of the wood, sending two separate pieces flying in opposite directions. Sweat trickles down my exposed back as I raise my eyes to Thatcher, who is sitting on his overly dressed ass.

I drop the weapon to the ground, rubbing my wet hands on my jeans to dry them off. I’d been working my ass off splitting wood for this fucking fire that we were going to have. Sitting around like everything is back to normal and everything is fine.

As if we’re back in high school doing this every single weekend just to pass the time as if our lives hadn’t drastically changed since then.

“I’m not moody,” I grunt, picking up the logs and tossing them in the pit. “I just need to blow off some steam. Waiting around and fiddling our thumbs is apparently only bothering me.”

“That’s not true, and you know it,” Alistair chimes in, standing up from his spot. “We want his head on a spike just as much as you do. Stop acting like we don’t.”

I run a hand through my damp hair, shaking my head in disagreement. “Then why haven’t we talked about it? Thought of a plan? Not one goddamn time since Thatcher cut Greg into tiny pieces. It’s been two months, and break is over with. Two fucking months, Alistair.”

My temper is boiling over its limit, reaching its capacity, and it’s ready to explode on the nearest target. There are too many things happening inside of me. Too many things that had sent me into a downward spiral of rage lately.

“Or have you been too busy with your head up Briar’s pussy to notice?”

Three seconds.

That’s all it takes before one of my best friends is in my face, his height just above mine probably making him feel superior, so close to each other that our chests bump at the force.

I’d crossed a line. I knew what I was doing when I said it, and this is exactly what I wanted. For him to do something, hit me in the gut or take a swing at my face. I want it. I need it right now.

“Watch your fucking mouth, Rook. I’m warning you.” He seethes, brown eyes turning an impossible shade of black. “I’m not rocking your shit because I know we are all on edge about this, and I’m betting a part of you wants me to. Don’t think you care more about getting justice for Rose than I do.”

I flex my jaw, placing my hands on his chest and shoving him back hard enough to jar him. “Stop trying to micromanage everything. I’m getting real sick and tired of taking orders from you, Caldwell.”

A tornado of emotions swirls inside of me, too many to control. I’m not good at this, at keeping everything at bay and under a lid. I’m a creature of explosion and low impulse. I can’t keep this up. It’s all becoming too fucking much.

“You sure it’s me you’re really pissed at here? Or are you tired of being your dad’s goddamn doormat?”

The dam inside of me breaks. It cracks straight down the middle, and all of my unchecked anger comes flowing out, ready to wreak havoc on everything in my way.