Page 155 of The Truths We Burn

He pulls her into his chest, holding her tightly to his body as if his arms could protect her from the pain outside of them.

“I’m going to call Rook,” I say nervously. “Maybe he’ll have a better idea of where he might be.”

I click his name on my phone, still titled Lucifer.

“We already called him. He was the first person we contacted,” Scott says just as I hear the dial tone end.

I can hear Rook’s breathing on the other end.

I can feel his panic. His worry. His pain.

“We are going to bring him back,” I tell them, not knowing what else I can say that will make this better.

“Don’t tell them things you aren’t sure of, TG,” Rook says in my ear, making my chest throb.

Lyra and I leave the house and head towards the car.

“Rook, I have to tell you something,” I mutter, “I should’ve said something earlier, I know, and this is my fault. I know this is my fault—”

I’m afraid to say what I need to.

Because I know when I do, he is going to hate me.

And I can’t do that again. He can’t hate me.

I just got him back.

One of the last things Rose talked to me about was her fear of Silas hating her, and I thought how crazy is that. That she’s afraid of something so silly.

But I understand now.

“I’m so sorry, but Silas—”

“He told me.”

Relief and confusion wash over me.

“About everything?” I croak.

“Everything. He even included the part about you giving him the ultimatum.” He breathes out. “It’s not your fault.”

I slide into the passenger seat of Lyra’s car, wanting nothing more than to be in front of him so he could see me saying this.

“And it’s not your fault, Rook. You thought he was taking his medicine. There was no way you or anyone else would have known he switched them out.”

I know where he is mentally. I know all he is doing is blaming himself for what he couldn’t have seen coming. He is punishing himself, wanting to hurt himself for not seeing the signs or recognizing this sooner.

“It’s not your fault,” I mutter into the speaker, hoping he can understand that for himself.

“He’s my best friend, Sage. I knew something was wrong, but I just didn’t want to accept it. And now—”

There is a loud slamming in the background, like a fist against something hard, followed by Thatcher’s voice muttering something about calming down.

“There is nothing we can do about it now, Rook. But you are right, he is your best friend. You know him better than anyone else. Where is he headed? Where would he go right now?”

It’s a long shot because we don’t know who Silas is when he’s inside of his psychosis, but if anyone would know, it would be Rook. I would take the blunt end of whatever came from the pain Rook needs right now, but I need him to focus on finding Silas first.

Because yes, he is his best friend.