Page 120 of The Truths We Burn

But now, it’s time to collect.

I lean against a tall pine tree, the sound of my cigarette burning disturbed the silence.

For an entire year, I’d been trying to get her out of my bloodstream. Trying to cut her out like some flesh-eating disease, trying to penalize myself for having faith in someone like her. I realize now, I can’t cut her out.

I’m going to have to cure the root of the infection.

Eliminate the virus at its source.

And that’s just what I planned to do as I find myself standing here on the crossroad in front of St. Gabriel’s church, staring at the back glass of Sage’s car that sits adjacent to a black sedan.

I’m not sure what she had invited into the world when she decided to negotiate with the feds. When she decided to make herself one of the enemies.

My greatest enemy.

But it had unleashed an entirely new degree of wicked inside of me.

I tried to rationalize after leaving Silas at the graveyard. I tried to calm down and give her some leeway. Maybe they really were friends of her father and she didn’t know what they were up to.

Once again, I had given her the benefit of the doubt. My heart went against my gut and tried to convince me once again it was all a misunderstanding. Something about her keeps wriggling beneath my skin, turning all my screws backwards and making me place confidence in her that she doesn’t deserve.

When someone shows you their true colors, you have to believe them.

And Sage is flying her colors high today.

I hadn’t been stalking her; I’d actually planned on confronting her about it, but when I saw her leaving the dorms alone, I decided to follow. I drove behind her a good distance, at a slow pace, but fast enough that I kept her taillights in view.

When she pulled into what was left of the church where a car was already waiting on her, it was then I knew what she had really been up to this entire time.

Why she had decided to come back, her plan all along.

I’ve been standing out here for about thirty minutes, starting to grow impatient, when I see Detective McKay exit the burnt church doors where they had been chatting. Where she was running her pink mouth about everything we had been up to,reporting back, being the good little rat she is.

My mouth waters with venom, my hands itching for retaliation. I step into the trees farther as he gets into his vehicle, turning the key and slowly backs out of the space.

I wait until I’m sure he won’t be returning, pleased to see that Sage is still inside the building I had once set fire to. I toss my cigarette out onto the ground, stepping on it as I walk towards the entrance.

An odd feeling comes over me. I’m not twitching or enraged. I’m calm; I’m not overcome with impulse. It’s as if my body knows exactly what we’re coming here to do. What we’re here to take care of.

The door whines as it opens, casting a beam of sunshine into what remains of the inside of the cathedral. Ashes and soot are stuck to the ground, burned benches, and broken decorations. It looks exactly like I had always wanted it to.

Like hell.

This place of holy ground burns my feet. I feel it sizzle through my shoes, searing my soles.

I like that feeling, stepping into a place I know I don’t belong just because I fucking feel like it.

Maybe that’s because I’d always felt more comfortable in chaos.

Sage is stationed in the front, her hands resting on one of the only pews left, her head tucked between her shoulders. From this distance, it almost looks like she’s praying.

“God doesn’t talk to people who make deals with the devil,” I call out. “Don’t you know that?”

She flinches like my words wound her and shifts her body so she is facing me. All the pigment in her face drains when her worst nightmare comes to life. I’ve caught her in the act. There is no lying; there is nothing to help her out of this situation.

“What are you doing here?” she asks, eyebrows furrowed together.

I walk forward slowly, looking around at the damage my flames had done to this holy place. The place that had started the rumor of my demonic lineage. The first place to turn me into a monster.