Page 7 of The Toymaker

“You should focus on making more eye contact and maintaining it,” Trig said while Kit cleaned the shop a few afternoons later. The clamps on his nipples wouldn’t come off until he finished, and the plug in his ass was keeping cum trapped in him since Trig had fucked him after lunch.

“It doesn’t matter.” Riju propped his elbow on the counter.

“It does.”

“I can look you in the eye. And Kit. I can also keep it up.”

“That’s different. You’ve lived with me for years, and we have sex. You like Kit. It won’t hurt you to directly look at customers, and it’s expected even if you don’t know the other because it’s polite.”

“I look at some.”

“I don’t only look at some.”

“Nobody cares.” Riju propped his chin on his hand and stared at the door.

“They do,” insisted Trig. “Typically, people look at the other’s face. It’s a form of basic respect and shows you’re paying attention.”

“I don’t care if people don’t do it for me. In fact, I'd prefer it if most didn't look at me.”

“Riju…”

“It can also be easier to listen when I'm not looking right at them.”

Trig pursed his lips. “That’s because you don’t do it. With some customers, you often avoid it even when they're speaking to you, and it’s rude. I know it makes you feel uncomfortable now, but the more you do it, the easier it’ll be.”

“No, it won’t. Can we stop talking about this? I've already told you before how it makes me feel. You don't listen.”

Trig sighed and leaned down. “You were scared of a lot of things at first, and plenty of stuff was difficult. It grew easier. Remember, I told you in the future, I’d help you do things that seemed too hard or bothered you. You were afraid to even come out into the shop here during the day, but you managed it after a couple of weeks. You were scared of touch at first. Now, we have sex, and you were the one to make the first move. You also said you were okay with certain demonstrations, and you do those too. All that right there is proof you can improve.”

Riju pointed at himself. “Because I wanted to. Every single thing you mentioned is stuff I wanted to do because I decided to, and I like certain kinky things. You didn’t force me, but now you’re trying to force me to look people in the eye all of the time. I've told you it’s tiring. It’s not the same thing as the other stuff you mentioned.”

“How is it tiring? It’s the same as looking at a sign or something on a shelf.”

Kit would have withered on the spot if Riju had given him such a glare. “No, it’s not. It’s exhausting in my head especially if I start thinking about what I’m supposed to do with my face or the rest of me. When I don't look them in the eye or at their face, I don't have to think about it so much, and I don't feel so…icky. You don't experience what I do, so it’s not-”

“I’ve told you already,” said Trig. “Blink, relax your face, and go for a smile. You look especially nice when you smile. There's nothing icky about it. Don’t give them your blank stare or suspicious look either. It makes you look like you think they’re up to something.”

Riju pushed up his spectacles. “Maybe they are up to something.”

Trig made a faintly frustrated noise and straightened. “Now you're just being stubborn.”

“So are you. I-”

“Kit, come here.” Trig motioned. “Relax, and pretend to be a customer. Make up something.”

Kit approached the counter. “Uh, hi.”

Trig poked Riju. “Stand up. He’s a customer.”

Riju stood and felt the lump of a doll in his inner coat pocket. “No, he’s not.”

Trig rolled his eyes. “Pretend. Like you do with your dolls.”

Riju’s stoic face softened slightly when he looked at Kit. “Are you looking for anything in particular?”

Kit racked his brain for a legitimate request and remembered what an earlier customer needed. “Er, I want to know what’s the best oil to use for sex and massage. I have sensitive skin.”

Riju rattled off a few oils, their qualities, and what would likely work best. He made eye contact and smiled, but they already knew each other.

Kit had seen how he interacted with customers. Sometimes, he avoided all eye contact, and it didn’t matter who was speaking to whom. Other times when he did it, he stared too hard like he was trying to see their thoughts, and he didn't always smile or have much of an expression. Most of the customers seemed like they preferred to ignore it. A few would start talking to Trig instead.

Pretending Kit was a customer wasn’t going to work.

“See, was that so hard?” asked Trig. “Just do that with everyone, and work on your facial expressions.”

Riju pushed up his spectacles again. “No.”

“You need to practice your basic interaction. You barely ever spoke to anyone, and now you can because you practiced, although I think you should be more social.”

“I don’t want to do this, and this isn’t something that gets easier. Why don't you listen to me? I need the breaks to not look at everyone.”

“Why?”

Riju threw up his hands. “It’s tiring, and I don’t know how to explain everything I feel in my head. It’s uncomfortable, and I can’t do it all of the time. We've been over this before, and I don’t see why you can’t get it. Just because you don’t experience something doesn’t mean I don’t. Not every single thing gets better just because I practice. It's not like remembering to brush my hair or-”

“If you’ve done better with other things, you can do better with this,” said Trig.

“Your logic isn’t going to work with every single thing!”

“You could also start by not arguing with me and making such a big deal out of nothing. It's not like I told you to run naked through Raven’s Landing.”

“It’s a big deal to me, and it makes me feel like you-”

“I’ve tried not to push you too much with everything over the years because I wanted to see how you do on your own with plenty of time and care. It’s been years, and there are a couple of things you haven’t improved on. I think that’s where you need a push and lots of practice. You’re being resistant, and that right there can make it harder.”

Riju’s eyes hadn’t left Trig’s, and they darkened. “I just said it’s tiring. Sometimes it also makes my skin crawl, and it’s too much. It’s easier to look wherever I want, and you act like I never look at anyone for even a second. Why can’t you stop? I wouldn’t make you do something that makes you feel funny in your head!”

Trig rubbed his face. “If anything ever happened to me, I want you to be able to care for yourself and have a good quality of life. You don’t have any friends. If I died by chance, what are you going to do by yourself?”

“Work.”

“What about outside of work?”

“I'd figure out my life. I have my books and my dolls to start with.”

“They’re not real people.”

Kit was still awkwardly standing there and wishing they'd stop. It wasn't exactly a fight, but it wasn't a simple discussion either.

Trig waved at him. “You can go back to cleaning.”

“I know they’re not real people,” said Riju.

“Sometimes, I kind of wonder because you talk to them a lot.”

“So? It helps.” Riju rolled his eyes. “They also listen better than you right now.”

Why couldn’t Trig simply stop nagging? Kit lifted bottles of massage oil to wipe underneath them. It wasn’t like Riju’s lack of eye contact was making the business fail or anything bad. Trig had interrupted him quite a few times as well as if Riju’s opinion didn’t count.

“I have a few friends even though we all work a lot, they have families, and we don’t get to see each other much anymore,” said Trig. “Life happens. Still, I go find someone to chat with at the tavern once in a while. When you’ve gone with me, you don’t look at anyone, and you barely speak. How would you make friends?”

“I don’t like the tavern. It stinks, and half of the people act stupid the more they drink, and the other half don’t even say sorry when they bump into you. You also get mad if I put my doll on the table, and you never let us eat outside when the weather is nice so we can avoid the nasty smell. I go there to spend time with you, and I don’t complain like you do about the fair. If you weren’t around, I’d never go to the tavern.”

“Either way, your quality of life would be better if you could improve on a few things.” Trig took Riju by the waist. “I couldn’t have done this when I first got you.”

“But now I know you’re not trying to trick me so you can lock me in the basement forever and use me as a sex slave.”

“This won’t hurt you either.”

“It does. Why won’t you listen to me?”

“I do listen to you,” said Trig, and Riju narrowed his eyes. Honestly, it didn’t sound like Trig truly was, not that Kit would dare say so.

“I feel like you’re trying to trick me.”

Trig rolled his eyes. “Do you care that people think it’s rude when another makes no eye contact?”

Riju shook his head. “No. Maybe expecting it is rude. Did you ever think of that?”

Trig sighed and hugged him. “You’ll practice all afternoon.”

Riju pouted as he sat at the counter. “I want to go downstairs and braid.”

“You’ll stay up here,” said Trig. “We’re not about to run out of whips any time soon.”

“I don’t want to be up here anymore.”

“You will, or maybe I’ll test out a new paddle on your ass, and you’ll still stay up here,” Trig said in a joking tone.

Why couldn’t Trig let go of this? Sure, Riju was stubborn, but he had a perfectly good reason to stand his ground, or at least Kit thought so. Perhaps too much eye contact was like too much touch. If the customers didn’t like the lack of it or his facial expression, why couldn’t they get over it? It wasn't like he was telling customers to fuck off.

Not once had Kit ever cared if someone didn’t look at him when speaking. It never even occurred to him.

Trig knelt by Riju. “We could leave Kit in here to watch the counter so we can go to my room, and I’ll suck your cock. Would that make you feel better before you practice?”

“I don’t want sex.”

“Fine. I have to go out in a bit, and I expect effort even when I'm not here.”

Riju pulled out his doll and hunched in the chair while he whispered to it with a huge scowl. When Trig went in the back, Kit spoke.

“Thirty, Master.”

Riju broke into a smile as he looked up. “Thirty, thirty, thirty. Kitty kit, kitty kit.”

Kit liked that too although maybe he was a little biased. “How about puppies, Master?”

“I like kitty or kit better.”

“Chuckle chickie, Master,” said Kit. Riju had repeated it about twenty times at dinner the evening before even though Trig had looked ready to rip his hair out.

“Chuckle chickie, chuckle chickie, chuckle chickie-”

Trig walked back in. “What in Elira’s name are you two doing?”

“He remembers the words I like.” Riju pulled his feet up into the seat of the chair and leaned on the armrest.

Trig peered at Kit. "You like repeating stuff like that too?"

"It’s fun, Master."

“Why?” Trig raised his eyebrows.

Kit shrugged. “They sound nice, Master.”

"Hell yeah.” Riju snorted. “Thirty, thirty, thirty.”

Trig kissed the top of Riju’s head as he walked by. “You don’t have to say it a bunch of times.”

“But I like thirty too.”

“That’s the number of lashes Kit’s going to get if he does get back over here and wipe off this fingerprint.” Trig pointed at the case of glass phalluses. “You need to pay more attention.”

Kit hurried over to clean it. After he finished, Trig took off the nipple clamps and told him to remove the plug and clean himself. Once Trig left to go somewhere, Kit sat by Riju who said he could relax. No customers had come, and Kit hoped the shop would be empty for the rest of the afternoon so Riju didn’t have to see anyone.

“Chuckle chickie,” said Kit.

“Thirty.”

“Squishy. I like that one a lot.”

Riju made his doll dance on the edge of the counter. “Squishy chuckle chickie.”

“Ew! You can’t make it squishy.”

“What about squishy kit?” Riju leaned over to tightly hug him.

Kit giggled. “Squish me harder.”

Riju did so and kissed his cheek. “I love squishing you.”

“I love being squished by you.” Kit kissed his cheek too and suddenly remembered a question he kept forgetting. “Why do you wear spectacles?”

“So I can see properly.”

“I mean, what do you see without them?”

“Oh. Closer stuff is blurry.”

“Can you read without them?”

“If the words are big enough, I can. It’s hard, and I'll end up getting a headache.”

“Is it annoying to have to wear them?” asked Kit. “Do they feel bad?”

“No. I got used to them pretty fast. Not having to constantly squint helped.” Riju took off his spectacles. “Here, put them on.”

Kit carefully hooked them over his ears. Everything went blurry, and he held his hands in front of his face. “Is this what you see without them?”

Riju’s fuzzy head tilted. “I’m not sure.”

Kit looked around the room. The colored phalluses in their glass case were blurs and he couldn’t tell much about their shapes. He knew where everything was for the most part, and for a person who didn't, he imagined it would be quite difficult to tell certain objects apart.

“You didn’t have spectacles before Trig? Ever?” Kit figured he shouldn’t delve into that part of Riju’s life. That was likely a safe enough question.

“No.”

“How did you do anything? If everything looked like this all of the time…”

Riju shrugged. “You learn to make do. Besides, what you're seeing now might not be quite the same as what I see without them.”

Kit tipped his head down so he could peer over the red rims. “You look different now. I think you look better with them on.”

Riju squinted. “You’re not used to seeing me without them.”

Kit handed the spectacles back, and Riju put them on just as the bell tinkled over the door. A fairy with spectacles and tiny horns walked in. Kit didn’t recognize him, but he must have known Riju since his face lit up.

“Riju? It is you!” He approached the counter as Riju gave him a blank look.

“I don't know you.”

“Yes, you do, although not well. Someone said a fairy with long red hair worked here, and I wondered if it was you. I always wondered what happened to you. I was afraid when you escaped from my office. We spent ages looking for you-”

Riju’s expression dropped so fast, Kit’s stomach clenched. Without another word, Riju bolted for the back with his doll.

“What? I just-”

“Get out of here!” Kit stood.

“Excuse me?” snapped the man.

“If he’s scared of you, he has a reason!” Kit backed away as he wondered if he needed to grab something to use as a weapon even though the man didn’t appear particularly threatening. Why did he mean escaped? Was he a crazy man who kidnapped people?

The man removed his spectacles. “I haven’t done anything to him.”

“You said he escaped!” Why did Trig have to pick this afternoon to go out?

“I treated him once,” said the man. “I’m a physician, and he got out of my office. That’s it. For Elira’s sake, I didn’t do anything wrong to him.”

“What do you mean?”

“He was badly injured, and someone brought him to my office to be healed. He ran off when we had him in one of the rooms to sleep afterward. It was quite a while back.”

“Oh, Elira.” Kit hurried to the back and checked the sitting room.

Riju wasn’t downstairs either, and Kit decided to look in Trig’s bedroom. Riju was huddled in the corner with his knees drawn up as he sobbed.

“I-I’m not going back out th-ere. I don’t want to see him. I’m sorry. I can’t.”

“You don’t have to. What’s wrong?” Kit crouched by him. Most of Riju’s face was hidden by his hair since he’d ducked his head, and Kit hated to see him so terrified and upset.

“He hurt me.”

“He said he treated you.”

“I don't want to talk about it. I’m sorry. I-”

“Okay, okay. He’s not coming back here. Do you want me to make him go away?”

“Yes.”

Kit wasn’t sure if the physician had done something bad, and Riju didn’t want to say, or if the treatment itself had been painful and scary. A physician would obviously have healing magic, but not all could numb or soothe pain. If they fixed a broken bone, a torn muscle, or a deep cut, it could be pretty painful for a few seconds while the bone or whatever shifted into its proper place and knitted itself back together.

What if the physician had done something else and was secretly a sick bastard?

“Riju, I’ll kick him out, and I’m coming right back, okay?”

Riju didn’t answer, and Kit firmly closed the door once he left the room. Up front, he squared his shoulders and tried to appear brave and imposing even though he was naked. “He needs to be alone, and I’d rather you not be here. You have to leave now.”

“I just wanted to see how he was. It’s been years, and he ran away from my office. Someone mentioned a man with his description working here.”

That didn’t make Kit feel any better, and he couldn’t say he’d once heard of a physician who had been abusing his patients. It would sound far too accusatory, and maybe it was the memory of the injuries that frightened Riju. “I want to tell him you’re gone and be honest about it.”

The physician frowned and turned away. “I wasn’t expecting this sort of reaction. I merely wanted to see him, and I wasn’t expecting him to act crazy and run off.”

“He’s not crazy!”

“He is if he acts like that. He also shouldn’t have a slave. I don't see why he's working in a place like this.”

“You don't need to see, and I don't like your attitude, so get out!”

“Gladly!”

Kit bit back a nastier comment, and once the man left while grumbling to himself, he locked the door and flipped the open sign so it said closed. Trig had a key and could get back in. Kit rushed to the bedroom and saw the weighted blanket among the messed-up sheets. Riju must have slept with Trig the night before.

Kit dragged it out and approached Riju who was quiet and hadn't moved from his spot. “I’m going to put your blanket over you, okay?”

Riju didn’t answer, and Kit carefully draped it around him the best he could.

“He’s gone, and I locked the door, so he can’t come back in. I promise. Do you want me to stay or go?” He didn’t want to leave Riju there by himself, but if his presence made everything worse…

Riju sniffled as he shifted to draw the blanket tighter around him. “Stay with me.”

He inched closer to Kit who hesitantly put his arms around him. Perhaps it was easier now that he had the blanket covering him.

“Tight,” mumbled Riju.

Kit hugged him and remained quiet while Riju sniffled. He wanted to ask what happened, but he didn’t dare. If even the sight of the physician terrified Riju, he certainly wouldn’t want to talk about it.

“Hey!” Kit and Riju both jumped slightly at Trig’s faint voice from the front. “Where are you?”

“Do you want me to talk to him?” asked Kit.

“Can you?”

“I will.”

Kit kissed the top of his head and got up while Riju remained on the floor and stared at the cloth carpet. He hastened into the hallway to find Trig entering it with a cloth bag from wherever he’d gone.

“Why did you close the shop?”

“This guy came in, Master,” said Kit. “He had little horns and spectacles, and he seemed happy to see Riju because he’d treated him before. Riju panicked and ran to your room. I didn’t know what to do, Master, so I made him leave, and I closed the shop. I didn’t know if I could trust the physician. He called Riju crazy.”

Trig’s expression dropped. “Let me talk to him. You can go…do whatever. Give me a few minutes.”

He hurried by. Kit didn’t want to simply sit in his room. He settled on the floor by the couch in the sitting room and figured he’d wait there. The physician probably didn’t mean to upset Riju when he came in, but his attitude afterward had been completely uncalled for. Riju wasn’t crazy for being upset over something that terrified him.

If the physician had that sort of bedside manner, maybe he shouldn’t be treating anyone either.

After twenty minutes, Trig came to find him. “He’s sleeping in my bed now. Considering how long it’s been, he shouldn’t have gotten so worked up. For Elira’s sake.”

Kit squinted. “He was scared, Master.”

“You can relax with the title and sit on the couch if you want.”

“I forgot the title when I was with Riju in your room. I'm sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Special circumstances. Thanks for being honest.” Trig flopped into an armchair.

Kit made himself comfortable on the couch. “Did the physician do something wrong? A long time ago, I heard of one who’d been abusing his patients. I mean, not in Raven’s Landing. I can’t remember where it happened.”

“No, it wasn’t anything like that. Riju told me how when he was seventeen, he was found unconscious somewhere and brought to a physician since he’d been badly injured. He woke up and panicked, and he doesn't remember much overall, so I guess the physician and his assistant had to sedate him. The story got around later, so from what I heard, most of the bones in his right arm were broken, and he had other broken bones, bruises, and cuts. A physician can’t take care of everything at once.”

Kit gaped at him. He couldn’t even imagine how agonizing that would be. No wonder Riju said it hurt even though he hadn’t articulated why. Kit was pretty sure if he woke up in that much pain with strangers around him, he’d find the memory just as horrifying. He wouldn’t want to be reminded of it either.

“Riju woke up in a room later where they left him to rest once he was healed. They must have given him medicine to make him sleep, and it needed to wear off. After everything…he was terrified, so he snuck through the window. The assistant got a few people to look for him. He hid in the city, and they gave up after a bit. The assistant passed the tale around, and I heard it. I decided I’d keep an eye out for him, and I spotted him one day not far from the gate when he was nineteen. Not many have red hair like that, so he was kinda obvious.”

“Why did you keep an eye out for him?” asked Kit.

“I left home when I was fourteen because my stepfather kept beating on me,” said Trig. “I was homeless for a bit until an old carpenter took me in and made me his apprentice.”

“You were homeless too?”

Trig shrugged. “Yeah. I didn’t stay in carpentry, although I use what I learned for certain things I make here. I learned a lot of useful skills from him. Someone gave me a chance, and so I figured I should pass it on and give Riju a chance too.”

“How did he break his arm?”

“I’m not getting into it. Don’t ask him either. He told me what happened once, but he’s known me a lot longer. If seeing the physician dragged up bad memories and made him panic, he’s not going to want to discuss it with you.”

Kit could imagine what happened. Another homeless guy probably beat him up for his money or food. Some didn’t care about hurting anyone if it meant eating for another day. The person must have had a weapon too. Afterward, someone found Riju in the street and decided to take him to the physician. Crime happens every day in cities, and he'd been lucky since he hadn't been murdered.

“Does he have any lasting effects?” asked Kit.

“No. He says he doesn’t have any scars, and his arm has no issues. He must have been found not long after the incident.”

If an injured person didn’t get help fast enough, they could still be healed, but certain injuries might have lasting effects. A deep cut could scar, or a badly torn muscle might be left stiff and never quite the same.

“Why was the physician so rude about it? People like him shouldn’t take care of a person and call them crazy if they’re scared. I think I’d be pretty terrified too if I woke up in a strange place with a lot of pain and strangers touching me even though they’re trying to help.”

“A physician should have a better manner,” agreed Trig. “Riju’s not crazy, but they don’t know him either. Some physicians are uppity know-it-alls too, and after seeing so much sickness and shit, I think they get kind of hard in their head to the point where sympathy gets tossed out. I wish Riju had been more capable of calming himself since the physician only wanted to see him and how he was doing.”

“But he’s traumatized.” How did he expect Riju to act like it was nothing after seeing him years later? The way the guy had spoken to Riju seemed odd to Kit too. It was as if he’d wanted to come and gawp at an oddity.

Some people were more bothered by things than others, and seeing someone could bring up bad feelings. The visit had been quite unexpected, and since Riju likely felt safe in the shop, Kit could see how it would be jarring.

“Still.” Trig waved a hand. “Make whatever you want for dinner, and I’ll save some in case Riju wants to eat later. It’s probably best if you go to your room afterward. He needs a quiet night.”

“Can I make the vegetable and potato thing we had a few nights ago?” Riju liked the sauce and the browned potato crust on top.

“That’s fine.”

***

Riju didn’t come out into the shop the next day and spent the morning in his room. In the afternoon, he went downstairs. The morning had been busy, and the afternoon slowed down. Once Trig got to work on the ledger, he told Kit he could do whatever for a bit.

“I’ll call you back in if it gets busy.”

“Can I see Riju, Master?”

Trig paused while trying to find his spot in the ledger. “I guess you could try. He was kind of afraid you might be mad at him or that you think differently of him.”

Kit raised his eyebrows. “Huh?”

“Because of the way he acted. I told him you know better than to say anything, and I don’t think you feel differently.”

“I don’t, Master.”

“You can tell him that.”

How could Riju think Kit would be angry or look down on him now?

He tiptoed into the hall. The door leading to the basement had been left cracked open, and he went down. Pausing on the bottom step, he saw Riju in the corner with his heavy blanket and was suddenly unsure of what to say or do.

“Come here,” Riju said before Kit could ask.

He set aside his book and moved the blanket. Kit scampered over to get under it and hug him. Riju made sure they were both covered and hugged him back.

“I’m not mad at you or anything, Master. I promise.”

“You can relax. Trig says I didn’t act right.”

What was right? That didn’t make sense to Kit. “You were scared. I don’t think that’s bad.”

“You mean it?”

“Yes.” Kit kissed his shoulder and squeezed him tighter.