Page 14 of The Toymaker

Even though Kit had been trying to be a good slave, and he hadn’t thought to disobey lately, he couldn’t help but think Trig had been unfair. Dropping the coin hadn't truly been his fault.

Not that he’d dare complain. It wasn’t his place.

“Thank you for punishing me, Master,” Kit said as he touched his forehead to the floor.

“What did he do?” came Riju’s voice.

“He dropped the coin, so I punished him.” Trig crouched by Kit. “You can sit up.”

“He what?” Riju came closer.

Kit straightened with a wince, and Trig gestured at the wall. “Don’t you remember? I had him holding the coin against the wall with his nose.”

Riju, holding a glass of red juice, stared at Trig with a completely blank face before his knuckles whitened, and his expression grew tight.

“What?” asked Trig. “Don’t squeeze the glass so hard! You’re going to break it.”

“You-you punished him?!”

“He moved and dropped the coin,” said Trig. “He was supposed to hold it until I said.”

“He basically safety worded, and you still whipped him?!”

Kit had never heard him speak in that tone, not even when Trig had complained about him going to the fair.

Trig stood and backed up a step as he pointed at the din still lying on the floor. “He doesn’t have a safety word, and he disobeyed.”

Kit had never seen Riju look so angry either. He marched over and handed Kit the glass. “I think screaming for you counts as safety wording in this case. He was in pain and panicking. Did you expect him to remain still with a cra-”

“Rules are rules,” said Trig. “I made sure he was fine, I punished him, and he’ll have his juice now.”

“Punishment is supposed to be so the slave learns. What is he supposed to learn from this? You can’t learn to not get a cramp. That doesn’t even make sense.”

Trig shook his head. “The point is if he doesn’t obey, he'll be punished.”

“For something out of his control?”

Trig huffed. “No, for dropping the coin.”

“Which was because of a cramp, which he couldn’t stop. He did nothing wrong, and he didn’t have any intent to disobey-and you-” Riju clenched his fists as he breathed heavily.

“For fuck’s sake. Can we not do this again barely an hour after you already flipped out on me? Can you not be so fucking obtuse?”

“You fucking beat him for something he had no control over!” Riju gestured at Kit. “You taught him nothing! When we whipped him on his first day, he’d forgotten to use the title. He learned and hasn’t slipped up since. This is not the same.”

“He drops the coin, he gets a whipping. It’s not hard to understand. You’re making this into a big deal and getting your damn drawers in a twist over nothing.”

Riju gripped his hair as he turned away and made a frustrated sound.

Kit hunched on the floor with his glass. He hadn’t thought it was fair when Trig had said he’d get lashes for disobeying. But it also wasn’t his place to argue. Trig owned him, and his word was law, which meant Kit had to accept whatever, and his purpose was to serve. Seeing Riju so upset made his stomach twist, and he didn’t even want the juice.

“It’s fine, Master,” Kit said in a small voice.

Riju turned to him. “It is not fine!”

“Knock it off, Riju,” snapped Trig.

“No, you knock it off. Kit, drink your juice. All of it.”

Kit drank as Trig huffed and stalked toward a cabinet while coiling the whip. “I’ll take care of him. Go to your room or whatever. I’m done with your attitude today.”

“You’re not touching him,” Riju suddenly snarled with such fury, Kit flinched, and even Trig stopped.

“Excuse me?” He slowly turned. “Maybe I should paddle your ass and send you to your room. I don’t know what’s gotten into you-”

“We’re not in bed, so don’t fucking touch me either.”

Kit gulped the last bit for something to do because he felt awkward. Since when did they fight, especially about the rules? It wasn’t fair, but he had let the coin drop, and Trig had specifically commanded him to hold it there and not move. It was Trig’s decision, and he’d rather they stop bickering. Something else must have happened earlier because he’d caught their angry voices from upstairs.

“Up,” said Riju.

Kit stood. “Why are you mad, Master?”

“I’m not mad at you.” Riju’s voice was strained as he took the glass to set it on the floor. He scooped Kit up. “Put your legs around me.”

Kit did so and hooked his arms around Riju’s neck.

“I just said to go to your room,” snapped Trig.

“You’re not beating him and then cuddling him like you did nothing wrong.”

“I’ll give him aftercare,” said Trig. “We’re not fighting over that too now.”

Riju, supporting Kit’s ass, turned to Trig. “You’re right. We’re not fighting over it.”

With that, he headed for the stairs. Kit expected Trig to command Riju to put him down, but he turned away.

In Kit’s room, Riju put him down, and his voice was choked. “We’re going to relax by ourselves, okay?”

“Master, please. I deserved it.”

“I’ll hold you. We’ll talk later.”

Kit almost wanted to cry. Riju wasn’t supposed to be upset, and nothing was right. Once he was lying on top of his Master on his pallet, Riju stroked his hair. Kit forced himself to listen to Riju’s breathing as it evened out while he tried not to think of him and Trig yelling at each other.

Whatever was wrong, they’d forgive each other, and everything would be back to normal by dinner, right? It was past lunchtime, although he wasn’t hungry. With everything quiet, and Riju’s warmth under him, it wasn’t so bad. Breathing in his rose and magnolia smell, his eyes grew heavy.

Riju started to hum, and while he sounded a little off, it was enough to put Kit to sleep.

***

He jerked awake later at a creak.

“Riju, I’m going to the tavern for dinner. He’s to cook dinner for you and go to his room once the kitchen’s cleaned up.”

“Mhm.”

“You’ll feel better tomorrow, and we’ll talk. I need a break, and if we try to talk now, we’ll just end up arguing. You need to calm down tonight.”

Riju said nothing as the door closed. Kit blinked at the floor and tried to clear the muddle from his head. He must have been out like a rock.

He shifted to kiss Riju’s cheek. “It’ll be okay, Master. I promise.”

They’d cool down overnight, and everything would be fine tomorrow. Trig hadn’t sounded angry. A little downtime would help. He didn’t know what all was going on, but if they’d been together so long, it couldn’t be that serious.

Riju gripped the back of his head and pressed his cheek to Kit’s. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

“I disobeyed. Master.”

“No. Sit up.”

Kit got off him and felt guilty because even though it soothed them both, Riju had been stuck on the pallet for ages while Kit snored and drooled on top of him. He wasn’t sure if Riju had napped or not.

Riju settled on his knees and put his face close to Kit’s. “I’m not stupid.”

“I know you’re not, Master.”

“Relax with the title, and listen to me. I know the rules, and I know you don’t have a safety word or signal which isn't right. What happened downstairs still wasn’t your fault. When I heard you scream, it terrified me, and the last thing I cared about was if you obeyed or not. If it had been just me here, I wouldn’t have punished you for letting the coin fall.”

“But Trig sets the rules, and I kind of got off easy since he didn’t take me outside.” It was also too cold for Kit to be chained up outside, whipped, and left on display as extra humiliation and punishment.

Riju squinted. “Why did Perry punish you for disobeying?”

“It was so I wouldn’t do it again. Except I did…”

“He also wasn’t giving you what you needed in many ways. Maybe he's not the best example. Why did I whip you on your first day when you forgot to call me Master?”

“Because it's a rule, and I forgot it pretty fast. You hadn’t told me to relax with the title, and Trig gave me a little extra punishment because I’d forgotten an important rule so quickly.”

“You haven’t broken that rule since then, right?”

“No. If I ever did, none of us ever noticed.”

“That means you learned. What I’m trying to make you see is punishment must always have a purpose. If you have trouble with a rule, and you’re punished for breaking it, you’ll focus more on following it right?”

“Yes.” Kit could see where he was going.

“Did you think about disobeying at all downstairs?”

Kit shook his head. “No.”

“Did you move or let the coin fall before the cramp?”

“No.”

“The cramp was out of your control. You were scared and unable to obey at that point. Trig can’t make a rule against it because it’s impossible, and I’m pretty sure it's also impossible to remain still if anything hurts so badly.”

Kit got it. Nobody could make a rule against a body doing an action on its own. It was like forbidding headaches, which would be silly.

“I think he did wrong, and he’s not going to apologize or back down. Even a Master needs to know he can be wrong. Trig gets enjoyment out of having a pleasure slave. I do too. The difference is I would never punish you when there isn’t anything for you to learn.”

If Riju felt the situation was unfair, then it wasn’t just Kit feeling that way. “It’s the first time he’s done this.”

“First time or tenth time, it’s not right.” Riju leaned back and rubbed his forehead. “I never imagined him doing that. I told you you’re too much of a pleaser. That's not wrong in itself, but I think it gets in the way of you safely looking after yourself, and there are people who would take advantage of it as today shows. I wouldn’t have signed a contract like yours.”

“There’s nothing I can do about it now. Maybe it was a one-time thing. He hasn’t whipped me without reason before, and I still have a few months left, so I’m not sure if you expect something from me going forward because I don’t know what to do. I’m still the slave, and I have to obey him without complaint. If I don’t, he’ll whip me again.”

Riju looked away. “I don’t know what to do, Kit.”

Kit didn’t expect Riju to do anything. It would cause another argument with Trig. “I don’t want you to be sad either.”

Riju shrugged as if to say it was already too late.

“Things will calm down and go back to the way they were. Once this contract is over, I won’t sign another like it with him or anyone. I promise.”

“All right…do you need the privy?”

“Yeah. I need some water too.”

“Afterward, let’s get you some balm.”

“I’m not supposed-”

“Shh. You’re having it to get you over the worst, and I’ll cook you dinner.”

Riju refused help even though Kit was supposed to cook. Trig had commanded it, but Riju said he was overriding it, and Kit was to relax. No arguments. He wasn’t telling Trig, so Kit wouldn’t be punished again.

He wasn’t used to sitting at the table while someone else made the food. The balm had helped with the soreness on his back, and he was feeling more awake while he drank a second glass of water. Even though he wasn’t mad at Trig, who must have seen things quite differently, he felt getting balm was a fair compromise for his unfair punishment.

While he watched Riju cook, he thought back over the past few months. Nothing else struck him as unfair. Both had been hard on him in a way, but it was what he’d expected for his role, and he liked being used as a toy. Overall, he’d started enjoying his time with Riju a lot more, and he felt closer to him than Trig.

Trig was someone he pleased because he had to, and he liked obeying. He got enjoyment from Riju on a different level, and even simply being around him was fun too.

If he had to pick one to serve and couldn’t have both, he’d choose Riju in a heartbeat. Kit had bonded with him differently, and it made him feel better that Riju wouldn’t punish him for a cramp.

Except being with one meant being with the other. He could forget simply having Riju as his Master.

Riju set potatoes to boil, chopped vegetables, and lightly fried them in a pan on the cookstove. Once he took the frypan off the heat, he mashed the potatoes and added the vegetables to a square pan. It was actually nice without Trig since the earlier argument had scared him and things had been so tense. Kit was a bit afraid to ask since it was surely a sore subject.

“Fuck,” Riju muttered under his breath.

“What’s wrong?”

“I forgot to start the sauce.” Riju leaned on the counter and muttered under his breath. “I am fucking stupid. A simple thing…”

He shouldn’t be putting himself down over a simple thing. Kit approached and put an arm around him. “You’re not stupid.”

Riju stared at the vegetables in the pan. “I can’t even remember when to start the sauce.”

“You're tired, and you haven't had a good day. What are you doing with this?”

“I was going to bake them in white sauce with a potato crust.”

It was a dinner they’d had before, and Kit liked it a lot. “Make the sauce now. The vegetables are fine in the pan.”

“I should have started it already so I could put everything together at once.”

“Yeah, it’s faster, but it’s not like the meal is ruined.” Kit squeezed him around the middle. “There’s no rule against doing the sauce now.”

“Squish me harder.” Riju kissed his forehead.

That seemed to help, although earlier must have been bad if Riju was upset at himself. The food made it into the oven with no issue, and Kit knew it would be perfectly fine. Once the mashed potato crust was browned on top, it’d be ready to eat. Riju came to sit with him at the table.

“Do you still want to do stuff with me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” asked Kit.

“Because maybe you hate me now.”

Riju appeared dead serious, and Kit almost gaped at him. “I don’t hate you!”

“But Trig…”

“Why would I hate you for another’s actions? I’ve been thinking about what you said. It was wrong of him. It doesn't reflect on you.”

“If he tries to do anything like that again, I won’t let him. Except…” Riju rubbed his forehead. “He waited until I left.”

Kit hadn’t thought of that. It was only after Riju left that Kit had been whipped, so maybe Trig knew he was wrong.

Riju peered at him for a moment. “This is what I don’t want you getting into later. Things can seem all right, and then it goes bad. Maybe some would think Trig acted properly because you willingly handed all control over to him, but I don’t, and I don’t want you staying here after your contract is done. Don’t sign another one if he asks. Get out as soon as possible. I’d take off the damn cage and make you leave right now if I could.”

“Why did you guys fight? I could tell you’d been crying.”

Riju put his feet up on the chair and hugged his knees. “There’s stuff I’ve been thinking about and wanting, and when I asked, he proved…what I thought.” He went to reach into his coat and seemed to remember he didn’t have a doll with him. “He doesn't understand-it’s complicated and a lot.”

That probably meant don’t nag about it.

“I used to have a sister,” Riju suddenly blurted out as he stared at his knees.

Kit paused. “What-you did?”

“Her name was Dory, and the doll used to be hers. She named it after herself. Dory died when I was five.”

Kit’s chest tightened. That’s why he’d gone to the fair with the doll and kept it all those years. It wasn’t just a favorite and only toy. No wonder he was so protective of her and trying to keep her the same.

“I’m sorry, Riju.”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” Riju suddenly got up to check on the food. “Would you sleep in my room with me tonight?”

“Of course.”

Kit wasn’t entirely sure why Riju had dumped the revelation on him. Perhaps Riju and Trig’s earlier fight had involved a bunch of past stuff he didn’t know about, and he was trying to keep too much in. Whatever Trig had “proved” must have been deeply hurtful, and he suddenly feared things wouldn’t be better by the next day like after a small spat.

Riju was quiet while they ate, and the food was perfect to Kit. Riju didn’t seem any better after Kit told him so. He cleaned the kitchen afterward, made sure the shop door was locked, and brought Kit to his room.

“I’m definitely not in the mood to play around or anything, but if we do later, and you still want to with me, you’ll have a safety word.” Riju sat at his desk with Dory and drew up his knees.

“I’m not supposed to have one.”

“I’m telling you that you can have one with me.” Riju pointed at himself. “Don’t tell Trig, and this is only when we’re in total privacy because he can’t know. I should have told you before no matter what the damn contract said.”

Kit sank onto Riju’s bed. “Okay. Riju…”

“Hm?”

Kit tried to think of how to word it. “I don’t know what you two argued about. If there's anything wrong between you and Trig, and you already seemed unsure of marriage before, this sounds like it could be a deeper issue that you’ve had for a while. Maybe you're not getting something you need.”

“I brought things up today and asked him about something.”

“And it wasn’t resolved to your satisfaction?”

“No.”

“So what are you going to do long-term? Do you think you two can fix it? Would it be easier without a third in the house or…” Kit wasn’t sure what would help since he didn’t understand what was going on, and he wasn’t sure if Riju wanted to fully discuss it. They were close, but Riju had a different relationship with Trig since they’d been together for years, and Kit was a new and temporary addition.

Riju sat the doll on his knees and held her by the hands. “If you wanted to get married and never have a third in the mix for any amount of time, is that an unreasonable expectation? Is it unreasonable if I’m okay with poly outside of marriage and not in it?”

Kit had a feeling where he was going, and he tried to choose his next words carefully.

“No. It's reasonable. I’m okay with being shared and used by more than one at times because it's a fun sexual activity. If I were married, it would be different.”

“Why?”

“I think jealousy can come up if there’s a changing third partner, and if two married people have that issue, it can be harder to solve. A poly relationship can work out great when everyone is on the same page, but I don’t feel like it's for me in marriage. If anyone wants to have a special bond with only one for the rest of their life, it’s entirely fair. Plenty of people want that, and often, with a poly marriage, the third is also permanent or mostly so, not a person who stays for a year or maybe only a few months.”

Riju hesitated. “Trig said before that having a slave is like an itch.”

Kit squinted. “Like when you crave a certain food at times, but not every day?”

“Yes. He’d never tried to push me into being a slave, and he was fine with having me as a submissive. He likes that kind of stuff too.”

“But he needs someone he can do more with when he gets the urge?”

“Yes. He likes the extra control and a different dynamic. I’m fine with it because we're not married, and it also gives me a chance to dominate because I can’t do it with him. A third like you gives us a thing we can’t get from each other. I said if we get married, I don’t want any more thirds, and I’d be willing to always be the submissive in bed. He’d always be the dominant because he’s not one to switch. He expects me to accept it when he feels like having a third.”

“You’re willing to give him a thing he likes and give up what you like, but he’s not? That’s not fair at all.”

Riju set Dory on the desk. “He accused me of not wanting to compromise. I also asked to live on my own so I can have more independence and start my own business. He said no.”

Kit listened as Riju recounted the things that had been worrying him besides the issue of safety words and consent with Kit. Riju had needed help several years ago because he’d spent so long on the street with no one taking care of him. Living alone and supporting himself would have been difficult because he’d been lacking in the skills most slowly learned as they grew up such as cooking. His focus had been on day-to-day survival on the street, not learning job skills or how to make dinner.

Riju had grown into a more independent man since he knew how to cook, take care of his hygiene, and clean up after himself along with other skills like basic woodwork and sewing. His social ability had improved a little, although it wasn’t good enough for Trig.

He mentioned the possibility of him and Kit having something private, but Trig said a poly relationship with a fourth if anybody else entered would be too difficult. Plus, he didn’t think Riju could truly manage a business by himself.

It warmed Kit’s heart that even though Riju wanted to go out on his own, he also wanted Kit to have a part in his life.

“He’s done a lot for me, and he’s got quite a bit of money set aside in case he has an accident and passes. Truly, he does care about me to some extent, but I also feel like a prized pet. If he ‘fixes’ my head more, I’ll be more suitable as a husband, and he can show me off. He made me into what I am now. It’s like without him, I could never be anything. It’s all what he wants, and I’m supposed to shut up, marry him in another year or so, and let him make all of the main decisions. I know he doesn’t like the idea of me having a separate relationship he has no control over.” Riju hugged his legs. “It’s like…it’s like I’m a living doll for him to turn into what he wants. He doesn’t respect me as a person. He thinks I’ll never be anything on my own, and if I lived separately, it means I could decide to permanently leave him.”

Kit’s heart squeezed as Riju’s eyes welled up.

“I didn’t fully realize it before because I trusted him. I do now, and I’m tired of never being good enough. I hate the way he makes me doubt myself, and it doesn’t matter that I’ve improved on life skills because my head’s still the same. It’s never changed, I’ll never be good enough for him, and in the long run, I know he’ll see it as my f-fault for not trying hard enough. I love him, but he talks about how he ‘got’ me as if I’m an item .”

Kit went over to hug him, and Riju broke down against his shoulder. Shit. On the surface, Trig seemed like a good lover who gave Riju what he needed and truly cared about him. Part of him had to care because most people wouldn’t take in a homeless man. Nobody else had tried to help Riju and given him a chance. Trig had even threatened Kit about hurting Riju.

At the same time, the warning signs had been there. Kit hadn’t put it all together and looked deeper: Trig’s insistence that he make eye contact with everyone and practice even though it was beyond uncomfortable. The way he'd constantly interrupted Riju and often dismissed his concerns was another issue. He’d been more worried about what other people thought and how Riju should be “normal.” If he was set on something, he’d try to wear Riju down.

Trig had been kind of an asshole at first about the whole fair issue to the point where Riju had cried. In the contract, he’d written Kit would have to “deal” with Riju as if he were a pest. He’d also said Riju had been like a wild animal at first, and those weren’t terms anyone should use to describe the man they loved.

“How come you asked if you could go?” Kit laid his head on Riju’s shoulder. “If you’re in a relationship, I don’t think you need permission to leave.”

Riju paused. “Because…I ask before big things.”

“You’re not a pleasure slave, and you have no contract. You don't have to ask.”

“I’ve decided to leave anyway. Once you’re gone, I’m gone too. I don't care what he says. After this morning and downstairs…it’s not just today. It’s years of small stuff piled up.”

“If he treats you like that and won’t even try to compromise, it’s best. You’re not an item, and you don’t deserve to be treated like one. Even if it’s not his intention, he’s making you feel a certain way, and it’s not right. If I’d stayed with Perry, I’d be miserable half of the time, and this isn’t exactly the same, but you won’t be happy long-term either.”

Riju wiped his face with the cuff of his sleeve. “If he made a real effort, didn’t put me down, and let me have more freedom on my own, we could work out.”

“But you don’t think he will?”

“No.” Riju sniffled and drew Kit to sit in his lap. “It’s been years, and I’m a pet. Besides, I was thinking if I simply moved out, and we stayed together, I would leave him if he got another slave with the same terms as you. I don't want to be a part of something like this again, and I didn’t want him to do it at first. I’d like…”

“What?”

Riju stared at the surface of his desk. “I’d like for you to stay. I don’t want to hold you back because I’m not sure what you want to do later.”

“I’d like to stay too.”

“I don’t want you to feel forced like you have to.”

Kit buried his face in Riju’s neck. “I don’t know what all I want to do in life, but I was thinking a year isn’t enough, so I’ll stay, and we can see where things go. If it doesn’t work out, neither of us can force the other to stay.”

Riju stroked his back. “Will you promise me something?”

“Yes.”

“If he ever tries to punish you for something unfair or even if you simply don’t feel safe, scream as loud as you can for me.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not letting him do that to you again,” Riju replied with an edge to his voice. “If I have to, I’ll take you out and to the gate guards. Promise me.”

“I promise.”