Page 111 of The Throne Seeker (Vallorian #1)

R ose barged into her room, quickly shutting and locking the door. She tossed her shoes onto the floor, changed out of her bloodstained dress and chucked it into the fire, slipping into a new one. Her tears spilled over.

Her siren yearned to take control, to transform her into someone stronger, someone who wasn’t so weak.

She went to the mirror. She wanted proof that even a trace of the girl she’d once been was still hidden within her. But she couldn’t find her.

There really was another death to mourn.

Rose glared at the bindrune painted on her chest, symbolizing her supposed strength. It felt like a cruel joke.

Her long, polished nails dug into her palms. None of them deserved this, none of them. She didn’t deserve this. Another wave of outraged tears leaked from her sea-green eyes.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she grabbed a bag and shoved everything and anything in it.

Her mind raced as it formulated a plan. She’d go to her mother, consult with her, and they’d leave together.

They’d go to the home she now owned, thanks to Roman.

They could live out their days in the country, having as normal a life as possible.

She had more than enough money for them to be comfortable.

It was the only way to save Roman from herself.

A loud knock on the door startled her.

“Rose, it’s me.” Roman’s voice carried through the hall.

She closed her eyes with a silent curse. With all her strength, she contained her siren’s demand to open the door. She continued to gather her things, quickening her pace.

Another knock. “Please let me in.”

She ignored his pleas, hoping he’d assume she wasn’t there.

Silence.

The door latch jiggled. “Rose, I know you’re in there,” he said louder.

She kept silent, praying he’d leave, still quietly scrambling for her things.

“Rose!” he yelled this time.

Silence again.

She waited, straining her ears. It was quiet. Not a sound. She sighed in relief, he had gone.

The door burst open.

Roman barged in with his sword drawn, prepared for a fight.

He found no such threat. Instead, his eyes fell to the bag and the belongings in her hands.

His eyes became darker than a moonless sky.

He flung the door shut loudly behind him and slammed his sword back into its sheath.

Without a word, he stalked toward her, taking slow, calculated steps, eyes deadlocked onto her so vigorously, she thought he might lash out. But his movements remained controlled even as his hands balled into white fists.

Rose backed away, not in fear, but because she knew the proximity would weaken her willpower. Still, he came closer, not stopping until her back hit the wall.

He pinned her against it, hands on either side of her head, pushing her back onto the cold stone. His enraged eyes gouged themselves into hers.

“You’re not leaving me.” His voice was low. Dangerous. Possessive. “Not now. Not ever.”

She didn’t understand. “How did you know I was?—”

“After I was done being an ass, I turned back to apologize, and I saw you leave the ballroom. I followed you into the corridor and overheard your conversation with Xavier. I thought you didn’t mean it, but were you actually going to go through with it? You were really going to leave me?”

A crash of his anguish filled her at the mere thought, the agony that would surely be his if she left him.

He grew impatient. “Answer me. Would you have even told me if you left?”

Rose took a steadying breath. “Not if I thought it was what was best for you.”

He slammed his fist against the wall, making her flinch. “Damn what you think is best for me!” he shouted.

She had never seen him look so desperate.

So scared.

She didn’t even know he could be scared.

“I don’t care what you believe. I’m not my brothers. I will never put myself in a position to lose you.” He came closer. “Do you honestly think I wouldn’t come after you?”

She couldn’t find her voice as—just a few millimeters and her lips would collide with his.

“Why can’t you talk to me like that?” Roman asked.

She blinked, her eyes lifting from his lips. “What?”

“With Xavier. Why can you be honest about your feelings with him but not me?”

“He just caught me when I was having a moment. Besides… you were busy with Beth tonight anyway,” she couldn’t help but add, her voice bitter with jealousy.

His eyes narrowed. “I owed Beth an explanation. I made her promises I didn’t keep and I was trying to fix it. Nothing more.”

“Do you still have feelings for her?” she asked, hating herself for being so insecure.

Roman scoffed. “If you even think I could prefer her over you, you know nothing of how I feel about you. Can you say the same?”

She paused at the question, her brows drawing together.

“I heard Xavier admit he kissed you,” he seethed. “Is that true?”

She opened and closed her mouth stupidly. She wouldn’t lie to him. “It happened while I was in the stables.”

Roman’s face darkened, his palms forming into fists again.

“He didn’t know,” she said quickly before his thoughts could spiral. “He thought I’d married Tristan, but when I explained I hadn’t, he kissed me before I could tell him about you.”

Roman pushed himself off the wall, his hands aggressively rubbing the back of his neck. “And you let him? Now that he’s back, do you wish for him instead?”

“Of course not!” she said at once.

“Let’s get this out in the open right now.

” His hard eyes barreled straight into hers.

“We’d be fools to ignore the fact you’ve had a history with both of my brothers.

A long history. You’ve loved them both, and I knew that going into this.

I’m not holding it against you. But I told you, I’m selfish.

I want you to be with me because you chose to be…

and you need to tell me right here, right now, if you think you made the wrong choice. ”

Rose gaped in disbelief.

She came in so close she should’ve felt his breath on her face, but she didn’t—because he wasn’t breathing.

She cradled his jaw in her hands. “It’s you, Roman,” she whispered, stroking his cheek with her thumb.

“Without a doubt in my mind, it’s you. I know because when I’m with you, I’m torn in the best way possible.

I feel as though one half of me is burning, filled with a crazed desire to constantly be near you, to consume you until there is no more you and I, only us.

The other half is perfectly calm, so safe and perfectly content I’m confident no one else could make me feel both simultaneously.

There is no one in Vallor I’d rather visit Eristan with.

No one’s voice I’d rather hear read to me.

No one else I’d swim along that cave with.

” She gave him a faint, reminiscent smile.

“No one else I’d rather spend my life with. ”

At last, he breathed. The fire in his eyes receded into unadulterated relief.

He intertwined his calloused fingers with her soft ones. It felt as though a hot iron had been pressed into her palms. It was different with him, her siren’s desire. It wanted him more than any other human she’d laid eyes on.

His golden eyes slipped down to her lips, and the subtle gesture nearly broke her willpower. Her siren clawed for freedom, clawed like it never had before, tearing her skin apart as it tried to shed her restraint?—

His lips had just brushed hers when she put a hand on his chest, stopping him as she ducked under his arms, escaping his grasp.

Roman turned with her. “What is it? Talk to me,” he practically begged.

She stepped back. “I… I just need time to understand more before I… before I…”

“Before what?”

“Before I lose control!” Her siren flared with impatience. “My siren, it… likes you. No, it worships you. If I touch you… if we do what we did at Highland Haven… I fear in this form I will take not only your body but your very soul.”

It was meant to be a warning.

But her words only fueled the fire blazing in his eyes.

“I’m sorry to tell you that ship sailed long ago. Gone. Lost forever. You already own my body, my soul, my very existence.” He took a step toward her.

She stepped away. “But don’t you see? I don’t want to own you. I just want to love you. And what good is love if it is not freely given?”

His brows pinched. “What does that mean?”

“What if you’ve only been in love with my siren this whole time?” she said, voicing her fear. “What if you loving me has nothing to do with me or who I am, but the power that I possess, tricking you to make you think you love me? What if I’m ruining your life, just like Xavier and Tristan?”

Roman let out a frustrated grunt. He flexed his hand out wide, like he was trying to prevent himself from throttling her. “Have you not heard a word I’ve ever said to you? I’m in love with you, Rosalie Versalles. You . I loved you before you were a siren. I love you now, and I always will.”

She wished that was all the reassurance she needed.

“The spell only suppressed my siren. I’ve always been one.

I see that now. At times, I could even feel it within me.

I just didn’t know what it was.” She paused, trying to get through to him.

“Doesn’t it matter to you? That my siren could be messing with your mind, your thoughts, your feelings?

I could be doing it right now and you’d have no idea.

Aren’t you worried that you’re in love with a monster? ”

He shook his head in denial. “I couldn’t give a damn what it is you are. I know what you’re doing. Don’t you dare try to push me away.”

“I’m not trying to push you away.” She pulled at the roots of her hair in frustration.

“Then how could you even think of leaving me?!” he shouted, attempting to touch her.

She pushed him in the chest, forcing him to stay away. It barely set him back a step.

His eyes flared. “Is that supposed to be you not pushing me away?” he growled.

“I want to protect you!” she cried. “I’ll always protect you, even if it’s from myself… I’m dangerous, Roman,” she ended in a near whisper.