Page 24 of The Therapist

‘I’m Detective Franks,’ he says, holding out his hand for me to shake, and I surreptitiously wipe my own on my grey work pants before doing so. The room isn’t heated but I’m hot.

‘Lana Stanton,’ I reply and Detective Franks gestures for me to sit down.

‘I’m going to give you a case number for this conversation and a number to call if you do hear from’ – he looks down at his notepad – ‘Sandy Burkhart. This is my card and I’m the officer in charge for the purposes of communication.’

I nod my head, taking in the information as I grip the white card in my hand. I can feel my day ticking away.

‘Now why don’t you detail your concerns for me,’ says Detective Franks.

I go through the whole thing again, answer all his questions, even telling him about my visit to the house last night.

I know I should probably mention the pictures on Mike’s phone and the screenshot but it all feels too complicated.

I have told the first policeman that I’m worried about her safety because I think her husband is both emotionally and possibly physically abusive. That should be enough. I hope it is.

‘That’s a bit unusual, isn’t it?’ says the detective.

‘What?’

‘Going to visit a patient. I’ve never really heard of a therapist turning up at someone’s home to check on them. I mean she saw you once a week, didn’t she? Why would her missing one appointment bother you so much?’

I realise that this is a method of questioning. I have already answered this question but it will be asked again until the detective is satisfied.

‘I was worried about her because I believe that her husband has the capacity to be violent. It would have been remiss of me not to check on her. And a couple of weeks ago she…’ I hesitate, not wanting to break patient confidentiality, but if ever there was a time when it was permissible, it’s now.

‘She told me that her husband took out a life insurance policy on her and she doesn’t work so it’s… ’

‘Well, my wife stays home with the kids and we have a policy for her as well so I wouldn’t really take that as an indication of anything. But can I ask you why you didn’t think to call the police last night?’ he asks.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well…it’s very unusual to do what you did. If you were that concerned about her, surely you would have just called the police. Why would you have gone over to a house where you were worried about who the husband was and what he might do?’

I stare at him, not sure exactly what he wants from me and worried now that I have done entirely the wrong thing.

He’s right. I should have called the police last night.

What if Sandy is somewhere in that house?

What if she is being held by Mike? What if she’s hurt and I could have saved her by coming here earlier?

I realise why Ben was so angry with me last night.

It was a terribly stupid thing to do and I may have put Sandy in even more danger.

‘I should have called the police,’ I say to Detective Franks and he nods his head.

What if Sandy is actually dead? I think about the splash of red on the wall by the door. Was that blood? Should I mention it? It could have been paint.

‘Maybe she has done what Mike says and just taken some time off.’ I rub my hands on my pants, hating that they are damp with sweat.

‘Perhaps, but her kids are, what, seven and five?’ he says, looking down at his pad again. ‘Her husband should at least know where she is.’

I cross my arms over my chest, feeling like a child talking to an adult. ‘I realise I may not have made the best decision last night, but I’m here now and I think it’s something that you should check out.’

‘Right,’ says Detective Franks, standing up, ‘I have all your details and I have all of her details. I’ll definitely go and check this out. Thank you for coming in, Ms Stanton.’ He holds out his hand again.

I have been dismissed so I stand and it is only when I am out of the police station and back in my car that I realise how fast my heart is racing, how worried I have been and how fearful I am about what happens now.

At work Kirsty and Ben are standing together by the reception counter, their heads close as they whisper to each other.

‘What’s going on?’ I ask, fearful that in the time it has taken me to drive to work, the police have found something and Ben and Kirsty are working out how to tell me.

‘Nothing,’ says Ben as he steps away from Kirsty. ‘I thought Kirsty should know what’s going on in case…Mike turns up here or something.’

‘Why would he do that?’

‘I don’t know, Lana,’ says Ben with a shrug. ‘I have no idea what he’s capable of – do you?’

I shake my head. ‘I went to the police,’ I tell them. ‘I’ve told them everything and they’re going to investigate.’

‘That’s good,’ says Ben, ‘and look, I hate to do this to you, especially now, but I have to leave for a couple of days.’

‘Why?’ I ask, acutely aware that it’s actually none of my business.

‘It’s a’ – Ben waves his hand – ‘a family thing… My mother called and it’s…

I don’t really want to get into it.’ He stops speaking, waiting for me to acknowledge his right to privacy, which I do with a nod.

I am not his boss and he can do as he pleases.

But I know he was worried about Sandy, and I also don’t want to be here alone.

I never considered Mike turning up here because why would he?

But now that Ben has mentioned it, I know it will sit in the back of my mind, a worrying thought that will make me jump at every sound.

‘Now that you’ve told the police, I’m sure this will all be sorted out. You just need to sit tight.’

Ben rubs at the stubble on his chin which is normally very neat but I can see that he’s neglected to shave this morning.

He must be stressed about his family situation.

I’m lucky that both my parents, who moved to Sydney to be closer to me after I got pregnant with Iggy, are still strong and healthy.

‘Kirsty and I have been talking about this and I think…’

‘You think?’

Ben looks at Kirsty and she gives him a quick smile.

They’ve obviously been discussing this for a while.

I am reminded of how much time they spend talking to each other.

They seem closer every day. Does Kirsty know why Ben needs to take time off?

I think it’s possible that she does, from the way they are interacting.

Does that mean they are having a relationship outside of work? It would be problematic, especially because of the difference in ages and the fact that Ben is essentially Kirsty’s boss. But I can’t deal with that now. And anyway, I could be imagining things.

‘Come into my office,’ he says and I follow him, standing next to his desk as he closes the door softly behind us.

‘Look, this is probably me being over the top but I’m worried about you. You live alone and I’ll be gone for a couple of days…’

‘I’ll be fine, Ben; the police have been told. Mike is not going to come here. I spoke to Detective Franks at Wiltshire police station.’

‘Lana…’ Ben hesitates. ‘Did Sandy tell you that she found a life insurance policy Mike took out on her?’

‘Ben, are you still talking to her? She only just told me that a couple of weeks ago, or at least she told me that she only just found that. So how do you know?’

Ben holds up his hands. ‘Now wait a minute,’ he says and he goes behind his desk to grab his phone.

‘She texted me, more than a week ago, to tell me. I knew immediately that she was trying to draw me back into treating her and I told her that she needs to discuss this with you or the police since I am no longer her therapist.’

He opens his phone and shows me a text conversation with Sandy that reads exactly the way he has said it would.

‘Sorry…sorry…this situation feels out of control,’ I say.

‘Did you tell the police about the life insurance policy?’ he asks.

‘I did, but the detective didn’t seem to think that meant much.’

‘Well…I mean maybe but it’s good that you told him. Look, I have to get going but I wanted you to have this.’ He bends down and opens his bottom desk drawer, and when he stands up, I take two steps backwards. He is holding a small handgun.

‘Are you insane?’ I am unable to keep from sounding shrill. I have never seen a real gun in my life. ‘Where on earth did you get such a thing?’

‘I’m a member of a gun club. I had to jump through a million hoops to get it and it’s just for target shooting but it is a real gun. It’s a sport I’m involved in, that’s all. It helps me destress.’

‘You shouldn’t have it here. It shouldn’t be anywhere near people. Aren’t you supposed to keep it locked up?’

‘Relax, Lana. It’s a precaution.’ He comes around the desk to stand next to me and then he puts a hand on my shoulder.

‘I’m worried about you,’ he says, ‘you mean a lot to me. It’s just to scare Mike if he comes here.

He won’t do anything if he sees it. I’m not asking you to use it, only wave it around as some sort of deterrent. ’

‘I’m not really alone, Ben, Kirsty is here.’ I take another step backwards, not wanting to be anywhere near the small black handgun. It looks like a toy but I know it’s not, and to me it seems to have a larger presence in this office than its size should dictate. I can feel it in the air.

‘Yes’ – Ben waves the gun around casually, irritating me – ‘but this is a big guy, an angry guy. And what about at home? You have Iggy to think about.’

‘He’s not going to come to my home, Ben.’ But suddenly, now that the words are out there, that seems like something that could happen. I turned up at his house after all. I have never been worried about a patient turning up at my house. But it’s happened to Ben. It could happen to me.

‘You don’t know that for sure…and…you don’t know everything about him.’ He looks away as he says this.