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CHAPTER TWELVE

IN WHICH A NEW SKILL IS ACQUIRED

It did, in fact, take me all night, but I discovered the missing link shortly before dawn.

Rather than coercing the magic to suit my needs, I had to meet it as it was.

Mana was not meant for me alone—it was this world’s essence, its lifeblood, the snake digesting its latest meal in the shadow of the shrine and the raptor watching it from the trees all at once.

I had to seek it out on its level, join the cycle, and ask rather than demand its attention. Give and take.

I spent the last hour before the sun rose kicking myself for overlooking such a simple thing.

When Cantal emerged from his space in the back of the shrine, I showed off my newfound skills by transforming into him, even turning my breeches and blouse into his robe.

Having discovered the ocean of power that lay ripe for the taking, changing was effortless.

Gone was the uncomfortable ache as muscle and bone shifted into new places, replaced by giddiness at the thought of having near-endless potential at my fingertips.

It was well worth a lack of sleep.

“Good,” was all Cantal had to say. “We can move on to the next part today.”

“Are we staying another day?” one of the twins asked from the hallway, covering a massive yawn with one hand. There was an Epitgig saying along the lines of the stupider you were, the better you slept. Or maybe that was just something Jük said.

Either way, the twins were pretty convincing evidence.

“One more day,” I proposed, though I hated to hold the others back. This was important enough to make time for. “It’ll be useful to have this down in case things go awry at any point. We can head out first thing tomorrow morning.”

Daethie let loose an exaggerated groan from somewhere out of sight. “All right, boys, you heard the boss. Up and at ’em. Shirts off. Let’s get that blood pumping.”

As the grumbles of protest started, a familiar dark head popped out from behind the wall. “Mar?” Lu scanned my figure from head to toe. I returned the perusal, my gaze catching on his bare shoulders. “Did you stay up all night?” he asked, aghast.

“I figured out how to draw mana properly is what I did,” I answered, dragging my eyes back to his face. “Still can’t believe I was doing it wrong for twenty revolutions, but I guess that’s what happens when you don’t have any other mages around to teach you.”

“No magic users at all?” Cantal interjected.

I realized the implication as soon as the words left my mouth.

In the fae realm, it was exceedingly rare not to be able to use mana , and those few unlucky souls were treated like they were made of glass.

An entire area lacking magic users would be well known.

Revealing that I was from Earth right now would raise numerous questions, and it wasn’t a fact to carelessly throw around a stranger whose motivations were unknown. So I backtracked.

“Well, there were plenty of magic users, of course. But alas, no one who wanted to spare the time or energy to teach a bratty kid how to get a hold of her abilities.”

The cleric’s lips pursed. “Your parents didn’t ensure your education?”

“They were… a little absent. Kept busy with work and such.” Too many eyes focused on me. The only one who showed any do ubt was Cantal, but the confusion and pity in the expressions of my companions wasn’t much better.

I clapped my hands together. “In any case, we should get a move on. Running on limited time and all. Shall we move outside or set up in the hall?”

Cantal spoke over his shoulder as he headed for the kitchen. “We’ll go over the essentials in a minute, and then I’ll leave you to practice. I won’t have the time to walk you through the process in its entirety, but you’ll be fine. It’s not a difficult concept to grasp.”

I wasn’t sure how to take that. The thought must have shown on my face, because Luthri motioned to catch my attention.

“I’ve got you,” he mouthed. My lips pressed together in a thin line.

I wasn’t that worried—I’d managed to figure things out on my own just fine over the last couple of decades.

Not that I was opposed to having help, but I didn’t need it.

Grumbling to myself, I followed Cantal to the kitchen to help prepare breakfast.

Hours passed sitting cross-legged in the hall in silence, focusing every ounce of energy I had into holding mana and attempting to force it into matter.

Counter-intuitive was an understatement—creating something out of nothing went against everything I knew.

I’d already expanded myself to my limit, a six-foot-plus-tall version of me.

The extra mana thrummed in my veins. My skin began to crawl—literally and figuratively—with the need for release, but I gritted my teeth and told myself that I would get used to it.

Cantal came in and out over the course of the day as he made preparations for the equinox.

Other than that, I was alone. I had no complaints—the peace made it easier to focus.

Trying to force mana into another form felt like shoving a square peg into a circular hole.

The edges caught every time, and my frustration grew the longer I attempted it.

I couldn’t imagine trying to do this with the others around.

As time passed, the air filtering through the open doorway cooled, and the sky darkened to the dull shade of twilight.

Burnout hovered within reach when voices carried on the breeze, signaling the return of my friends.

Releasing an unhurried breath, I shifted my attention from inside to out.

The adjustment was a slap to the face. Sweat coated my body in a fine layer, pooling around my hairline and plastering hair to the back of my neck.

My hands shook where they rested on my knees.

My teeth were clenched so tightly that my jaw ached.

Whatever mana I had gathered slipped from my grip, and I slumped forward as dizziness overtook me.

“Hey.”

My face tilted up. Colors swam into each other before my eyes, painting an abstract picture of two identical figures crouched in front of me. Over the next second, the images merged to become one before sharpening into a person.

Cantal patted my cheek with one hand as his other closed around my limp wrist. Mending magic swept through my body in a surge of pleasant warmth, seeking out misfiring nerves and sore muscles with precision. I bit back a groan of relief.

“I realize you’re in a rush, but maybe take it a little easier,” he suggested, no cruelty in his tone. “Work yourself too hard, and you’ll cause permanent damage to your personal magic source. Being unable to draw mana is a death sentence to a mage.”

Thoroughly abashed, I muttered a “thank you” and slipped my hand from his grip.

Cantal remained at my side until the dizziness subsided enough to stand.

My cheeks warmed, but I wasn’t cocky enough to turn down his help.

I’d overdone it—that much was evident. The depletion remained etched in my bones even with a shahim ’s mending.

Splashing sounds and snippets of conversation coming from outside told me that the boys were taking advantage of Cantal’s shower system one more time before we left .

“I’m good,” I assured the opashi hovering next to me. “Thanks.”

He didn’t believe me, but stepped back anyway. “Rather than forcing it, let it come to you. You can’t accomplish everything with sheer stubbornness alone.”

I wanted to say, “Watch me.” Instead, I settled for a meek nod and went to join the others.

Yrra stood in his loincloth under the shower spout, pulling the rope at regular intervals to get a short spurt of rainwater to rinse with.

The rest of the men and Daethie lounged on the ground nearby, deep in conversation.

Lu spoke while the others listened, engrossed.

I did a double take. One of the twins—Vyrain, I realized—had cropped his hair close to his scalp.

Had our conversation been that difficult for him? Or… Hah. It was probably so that Narille would be able to tell him apart from his brother. He was thinking ahead, after all.

As I approached, the lilting mix of consonants and vowels became comprehensible.

“—are most fascinating. See, externally, the males and females look similar, but the females have one hole that does it all. And all of their pleasure points are internal. That was an adventure trying to figure out, let me tell you. The male genitalia, on the other hand, is internal until he’s aroused, at which point the penis extrudes from a slit in the gr?—”

Vyrain was the first to spot me. “Mar!” he exclaimed, shoving Luthri aside in his scramble to simultaneously get to his feet and silence the Peri male. Lu fell backward against the fence, his mouth making a perfect O , while Hohem and Daethie looked on with amusement.

“Oh, please, don’t let me interrupt.” My lips twitched with the effort to hold back a smile. “You were just getting to the good part. After the penis extrudes, then what?”

“That’s it!” Vyrain hurried to speak before Luthri could condemn them.

“We were—it was an anatomy lesson. Luthri has, ah, had experience with several races, as you know, and we were curious to know if they differed. I mean, of course they differ physically, but it’s not like we’ve seen all there is to see—in regards to the various races, not in terms of their uh, attributes or accessories thereof?—”

Hohem smacked him upside the head.

“Very smooth.” Daethie folded her little arms. “But I, for one, am not ashamed. We’re all adults here, and I wanted to know about Lu’s experiences with interracial sex.”

I turned my attention to Luthri, who squatted by the gate, rubbing his backside. “You know you don’t have to tell her anything you don’t want to, right?”

“She scares me,” Luthri muttered. “Besides, it’s not like my past is a secret.”