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“Do I need it?” Lu turned his face to the ceiling and sighed. “No, I suppose not. In the same way that no one requires a nest to sleep. Or a pillow, I suppose, for those pampered individuals who use such a thing.”

The rain picked up outside. Good Goddess, would the deluge never end? Casting a glance at the sleeping forms a few feet away, I raised my voice past a whisper in order to be heard. “I’d hardly call it pampered to want a soft place to rest one’s head.”

“Exactly what a pampered person would say,” Lu teased.

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, yes, I’m a princess.”

The English word made him blink. “A what? Prinses?”

“A powerful daughter. Like Lady Narille.” My explanation was met with nothing but confusion. “You know, the Kereti heiress? The one we’re on a search and rescue mission for?”

“Oh, right.” He didn’t appear bothered by the fact that he’d forgotten the entire reason we were out here. Must be nice to be that carefree. “Well, in any case, we all have our vices.”

“Sure,” I agreed, shaking my head. “I will say, though, you might have better success getting to sleep if you lie down and shut up. That’s how most of us do it.”

“Will you hold me?”

“No.”

“Sing me a lullaby, at least?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Why don’t you let other people close?” Lu’s disarmingly playful tone turned serious out of nowhere. My breath left me as if I’d been punched.

“Can we not?” I managed.

“Not what?”

“Not do whatever this—” I grappled for the words, clenching and unclenching my hands. “Just—not talk? It’s late, and I’m tired. Thank you for the flower. Good night.”

“A secret for a secret,” Lu cajoled, even as I turned over again to block him out.

“Come on. Isn’t there anything you’ve been dying to know about me?

I could tell you the harrowing tale of my first experience warming the sheets with company.

Want to know which of my siblings is my least favorite?

Or, what about how I earned the scar on my left cheek? ”

“You don’t have a scar on your cheek,” I countered without thinking.

“I wasn’t talking about my face.”

No retort worth a damn came to mind, leaving me to simmer in silence.

The rain, at least, was beginning to let up, judging by the way the prior torrent had petered out to a dull trickle.

It didn’t escape me that the lack of background noise would make it harder to maintain a conversation without waking the others. Despite that…

“Mar?”

I closed my eyes. “What?”

“I don’t mean to push. It’s just that… I’d really like to know you better.”

The statement, whispered in that plaintive tone, wormed its way into the pit of my stomach, where it settled into an uncomfortable lump.

My eyes closed. Why was I still scared? He meant well.

If anything, this was a good opportunity for practice.

When I opened my eyes, my gaze fell on the flower by my pillow, and the bitter taste of regret coated my throat.

“You’re fine,” I murmured. “It’s not your fault.

I’ve gotten better with time, but I’m… I wasn’t always good with people.

Or I’m still not, I guess. It’s not on purpose.

In the past, there were pe ople in my life who were supposed to look after me and didn’t.

I think that makes it hard for me to trust that people I meet now don’t have an ulterior motive. ”

Silence followed my admission. Even the steady rhythm of water dripping outside seemed to pause, like the air had put a stop to it in order to listen in.

Luthri made a decisive sound in his throat. “I feel the need to clarify. You know I’d like to do extremely naughty things to you, right? That won’t be a surprise when the time comes?”

A bark of laughter escaped me before I could smother the sound. I snatched the blanket gathered around my chest and pressed my face into it to hide the groan that followed.

The fae didn’t have the same hangups as most people back on Earth.

With menders, there was no need to be worried about sexually transmitted diseases, and most men had magical vasectomies done early on to prevent accidental pregnancies.

Thus, sex was simply a way to explore your body or pass the time.

Hell, I’d taken advantage of that mindset a time or two.

That said, I hadn’t expected him to put it so plainly.

As I struggled to pull myself together, Lu gave a light chuckle.

“Except for that, I don’t have any motives beyond getting to know you,” the Peri man continued in a low voice. “So you can rest easy. For now, let’s be friends, yeah?”

“Friends,” I muttered into the bundle of fabric.

The word was innocent enough. We were all friends, weren’t we?

I was comfortable with Yrra and Daethie and the others.

Well, I assumed they didn’t want to sleep with me.

Lu’s forwardness was admirable, but there was the issue of having to look him in the eyes afterward if we did go through with it.

That was the main problem, wasn’t it? A one-night stand with someone I’d never see again was one thing, but this felt too much like a commitment to be comfortable.

A friendship with the possibility of something more…

That came with a new level of intimacy. It had been too long since I had a true friend, much less something more.

I’d have to be strong. I co uldn’t let myself be seduced by the promise of closeness, no matter how much I craved it.

Being friends was manageable, so long as I didn’t fall into that trap.

I pulled the blanket down and gulped in fresh air before formulating a verbal response. “Friends,” I confirmed once I’d caught my breath, keeping my eyes pinned to the ceiling so that I didn’t have to look Lu in the face. “Yeah. Let’s be friends.”

When there was no reply, I risked a glance in his direction. He lay on his side facing me, head propped up by one hand. The dazzling smile he wore made the corners of his eyes crinkle becomingly. For once, I met his eerie yellow stare head-on.

“Good night, Mar,” he said.

That wasn’t affection in his tone, just the weird intimacy of the situation, with him being two feet away and having to whisper. That was all. It probably would have had a similar effect on me with someone other than Luthri.

I told myself that, but my heart had trouble getting the message, and it was some time until it had calmed enough that I could fall asleep.