Page 32 of The Spanish Daughter (The Lost Daughters #5)

31

ARGENTINA, 1995

When Valentina saw Felipe walking up to her porch, she was sitting in the front room, a book in hand, enjoying the late-afternoon sun as it bathed her chair in light. Her book fell from her hand, and her bookmark along with it, and she knew that this was a day she would never forget for as long as she lived.

Valentina rose and went into the hallway, checking her reflection in the mirror and smoothing down some flyaway wisps of hair. It had been a long time since she’d seen Felipe—back then she’d had a jet-black mane of hair that she’d preferred to wear loose and falling down her back. Now, that dark hair was streaked with silver, and she more often wore it pulled back into a soft bun. There was a gentle knock then, and Valentina took a deep breath, at peace with how she looked. She was a woman in her seventies now, but then Felipe also was a much older man than he’d been the last time they’d seen each other, but she guessed that he too still felt like the younger version of himself that looked nothing like the reflection staring back from the mirror.

She walked slowly down the hall, on the one hand not sure if she was ready for this moment, but on the other, knowing that she’d been waiting for it since she was a girl of eighteen.

Valentina swung open the door. ‘Felipe,’ she said, as he took off his hat and held it bunched together in his hands. ‘I was so sorry to hear about the passing of your wife.’

He nodded, his dark brown eyes meeting hers. His face was drawn with lines now, but his skin was still golden, weathered from years beneath the sun riding horses, and he was fortunate to still have a thick head of hair, albeit grey now.

‘She was a wonderful woman,’ he said, as tears shone from his eyes. ‘She loved me and I loved her, and she was the most amazing mother to our children, and then grandmother to our grandchildren.’

Valentina stared back at him, neither of them daring to blink as they stood before each other, and when he dropped his hat to the ground and reached for her hands, she let him without thinking.

‘But she wasn’t you, Valentina,’ he whispered. ‘I’ve spent my entire life trying to be the best husband I could be to her, making her believe that there was no one more important to me in my life, and I did that. I almost made myself believe it. But after she passed away, I couldn’t help it, I’d lie there remembering what it was like between us, and those feelings haven’t changed in over sixty years.’

She wrapped her fingers around his, squeezing his hand. ‘My feelings haven’t changed, either,’ she said. ‘There have been others, of course there have, but I’ve always hoped that one day, if we waited long enough…’

‘That the day would finally come for us to be together,’ he finished for her.

Valentina didn’t know what to say. ‘Your family, it’s so soon, and I don’t want to show any disrespect to your late wife or your children.’

‘Does anyone have to know, until we’re ready?’ he asked. ‘Can this not just be something between us? A friendship that we’re nurturing to see what might come of it? I’d be happy to just sit in your company and know that we’re making the most of our time together.’

Valentina nodded, still holding his hand. ‘Yes, Felipe. This can be something just for us, two people who have rekindled their friendship after many years. It doesn’t have to be anything more.’

The hopeful expression in his eyes made her smile—that after all these years, he still wanted to be with her, that the love between them had never faded. She understood the pull he’d felt, knew what it felt like to pretend there wasn’t someone else even though that person was still locked somewhere in your heart.

‘Shall we begin by you coming inside and having a coffee with me?’ she asked. ‘We can even sit out here on the porch if you’d like, so we don’t feel as if we’re hiding.’

‘I’d like that,’ Felipe said. ‘And Valentina?’

She waited for him to speak.

‘I need you to know that I loved her, that what I had with my wife was sincere. I didn’t love her in the way I’ve always loved you, but it was a love, nonetheless, and I don’t want to pretend that she didn’t mean the world to me. Because she did.’

‘You don’t need to explain yourself to me, Felipe,’ she said, gesturing for him to come inside. ‘We’ve both lived our lives, and now…’ Valentina stopped and turned around, doing something she’d thought about doing for decades. She lifted her hand and gently placed it against Felipe’s chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart as she leaned in and pressed her lips to his. It wasn’t a passionate kiss, but it was a soft touch of her mouth to his that was filled with promise, a stirring of long-held memories. ‘Now it’s time for us to choose what we want. It wasn’t meant to be before, but perhaps it is now?’

Felipe nodded, and she watched as he swallowed, his eyes glancing down at her mouth as she smiled. She hadn’t kissed the man in more than fifty years, and they weren’t the same people they’d been then, but the chemistry between them was still there.

‘I’m suddenly not so sure about coffee,’ she said, turning away from him and heading into the kitchen. ‘We might both need something stronger after all these years.’

She heard his footsteps behind her, and Valentina lifted her hand to her mouth, stifling a cry as the understanding of what had just happened settled over her. Felipe is here, in my home .

She’d waited her entire life for him, too scared to move on for fear that the moment she did, they’d lose whatever window they might have. And now here he was, with both of them free to be together. They’d both loved, and lost; they’d both lived full lives, with people they cared deeply about; but everything was changing now.

And she was ready for this next chapter in her life. With the man she’d always loved by her side.

Valentina straightened and took a deep breath, because when she turned around, she didn’t want him to see her tears, only her smile.

Four weeks later, Valentina and Felipe sat together at the polo. Even though she’d very much been on the fringes of Felipe’s life, she’d made sure to support his family in any way she could, never blaming him for the way things had worked out. And so she’d provided his son with a job and the very best polo ponies as soon as he’d shown an interest in the sport, but it had never surprised anyone, given the relationship her father had had with Felipe’s father. It was also a natural continuation of her family’s love of the sport, and she’d made sure to sponsor other riders and entire polo matches so that her support of Felipe’s family wasn’t obvious.

But today it was proving far more difficult to not be obvious. Every time Felipe moved, or his knee nudged against hers, or they glanced at each other, she felt like that teenager who’d run down to the stables to see the boy she loved, just to spend five minutes in his company.

‘Felipe, would you have dinner with me tonight?’ Valentina asked.

‘I would love to,’ he said, touching her hand for a moment before withdrawing it.

Part of Valentina wondered if his family would even mind—it wasn’t as if she was a younger woman or after his money—but she was also conscious that it was his decision. Felipe needed to be ready to tell them.

‘Is there a special occasion?’

‘Did I tell you that I have someone keep an eye on my daughter and her family?’

He nodded. ‘You did.’

‘Well, that person just sent me a letter,’ she took a deep breath, knowing her voice was shaking. ‘My daughter has just become a grandmother.’

Felipe didn’t hesitate in taking her hand then, and he kept hold of it, his eyes fixed on hers.

‘So you’re a great-grandmother now,’ he said. ‘Congratulations.’

‘It breaks my heart not to know them,’ she said. ‘I’ve tried to celebrate all their milestones, telling myself that what I did was for the best, but…’

‘There’s no reason you can’t make contact now,’ he said.

‘But after all these years? How would I explain why I’ve never come forward before? What would they think of me and the decisions I made?’

‘Valentina, if they’re anything like you, they’ll find it in their hearts to forgive you. It was a different time then, society had different expectations of us all.’

‘I keep thinking that if she wanted to find me, if she wanted to connect with me, wouldn’t she have tried?’ Valentina asked. ‘And then I get so angry with myself, and I wish I’d left something more direct in that little box.’

Felipe didn’t say anything.

‘When I left it, I expected to come back within months for her. I honestly believed that I’d be able to get her back, that we’d have the rest of our lives together.’

‘Valentina, it’s not too late,’ he said. ‘It’s never too late.’

He lifted her hand and held it to his cheek.

‘Look at us. Five decades, and we picked up as if no time had passed at all.’

Valentina smiled; he was right, of course he was right. But she also knew in her heart that too many years had passed for her to come forward, that she had missed the opportunity to be in her daughter’s life.

Felipe’s family came towards them then, and he dropped her hand. But he didn’t move away from her, leaving his knee touching against hers as his little grandson came running.

His son chatted and his daughter-in-law came forward to kiss his cheek, holding the hand of a little girl who was only a toddler. Valentina felt a pang of sadness as she watched them, the pain of never having had her own family a constant that she did her best to ignore, but at times like this it was almost impossible.

‘Valentina, thank you for a beautiful afternoon,’ his son said, before ruffling his own son’s dark hair. ‘This little one is already telling me he wants to be a polo rider one day.’

Valentina held out her hand to the boy, grinning when he confidently shook it.

‘You come and see me when you’re big enough to ride. I promise I’ll have a horse waiting for you.’

The boy’s eyes widened. ‘Really?’

‘My family has a long history of breeding the very best polo ponies, and yours has a history of producing the very best riders,’ she told him. ‘It would be a shame to break the tradition now.’

He beamed at Valentina, and she couldn’t help but smile back.

‘ Gracias , Valentina,’ Felipe whispered. ‘You’ve made his day.’

‘You’re welcome,’ she said, leaning in slightly to him for just a second when his son turned his back, and knowing in her heart that there was nothing she wouldn’t do for Felipe’s family. In fact, she intended on finding a way to provide for them even when she was gone. Her greatest hope was that somehow she’d bring her family and his together once she was no longer here, on the land that she loved, with the legacy that she’d fought so hard for.

Once, she’d given up everything to fight for what was right, and her only wish was that her family would discover just how much she’d loved them, despite her absence from their lives. She might not be there when they pieced together what had happened, but her greatest hope was that they’d one day come to Argentina and fall in love with their birthright, to live full lives made possible by the legacy she and her father before her had left behind.

‘I love you,’ Felipe whispered.

She met his gaze. ‘I love you, too.’

For as long as we both live, for so many years to come, and for all the years we missed. I’ve loved you my entire life, Felipe, and I intend on treasuring every moment I have by your side.