Page 28 of The Spanish Daughter (The Lost Daughters #5)

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SANTIAGO FAMILY ESTATE, ARGENTINA, 1940

‘You can’t do this!’ Valentina’s mother begged. ‘I’m your mother. Where will I go?’

Valentina stared at her mother in the same way her mother had stared at her on her wedding day, as she’d begged not to be forced into marriage. ‘Mother, you have a stipend that is more than enough to provide the essentials for the rest of your life.’

‘Valentina, I’m sorry, please, I?—’

‘You’ve had days to gather your things, and after everything I’ve been through, I care little about how sorry you are.’ You have no idea what I went through, what I endured because of you .

‘And what of Bruno? What is he supposed to do?’

‘He can get a job like any other young man of his age,’ she said. ‘Now go, before I have you escorted from the grounds.’

‘Valentina—’

‘If you enter the property again, you will be charged with trespassing. Now please, save yourself further embarrassment and leave.’

Valentina looked over at the stables and saw that Felipe’s father was standing, watching the commotion. It had been her greatest pleasure telling her lawyer to transfer the deeds of Felipe’s family’s home to them, and today she intended on telling him that he could choose whichever polo ponies he wanted for his own, as per her father’s wishes. But before she did that, there was someone else she couldn’t wait to see.

Felipe.

It had taken all her self-control not to reach out to him, but since the court ruling she’d had a whirlwind five days in the city making arrangements and signing paperwork, as well as managing to buy back a small stake in her father’s olive oil company, but as soon as her mother left, she intended on finding him.

And as much as it hurt to see her mother yell and spit at her before getting into the car, her stepbrother lifting his middle finger and swearing at her, Valentina refused to change her mind. She had her whole life ahead of her now, and she intended on living every day to the fullest.

‘Valentina!’ José called, waving to her.

‘I’ll come and see you soon,’ she called back, waving to him as she ran across the driveway. ‘Have you seen Felipe?’

‘That’s what I need to talk to you about.’

‘I promise I’ll be back soon!’

‘Valentina,’ he called after her, but she kept running, hoping he’d forgive her for her rudeness, because there was only one thing she wanted to do and that was throw herself into Felipe’s arms. She’d dreamed of this for months, imagining what it would be like to see him again, and the following week she would be flying in a plane to London to reunite with her daughter. Everything was falling into place. Finally, the life she’d dreamed of was going to become a reality.

‘Felipe!’ Valentina called as she neared their house, not caring who might hear her. ‘Felipe! I’m home!’

She was breathless when she knocked on the door, standing back and trying to calm her racing heart, but when she heard footsteps and then the creak of the door opening, it almost exploded from her chest in anticipation.

Until a woman she’d never seen before answered it.

‘May I help you?’

Valentina’s heart stopped racing and she struggled not to stutter when she spoke, her words catching in her throat. ‘I’m sorry, I was looking for Felipe.’

The woman was pretty, with wide dark eyes and long hair that tumbled over her shoulder, and Valentina couldn’t help but notice her rounded stomach. She appeared to be perhaps five or six months pregnant, and Valentina was certain she’d never met her. In fact, she was so confused that she took a step back to ensure she hadn’t raced up to the wrong house in her excitement.

‘Who is it, my love?’

Valentina would have known his voice anywhere. And when she saw Felipe come up behind the woman, his hand falling over her shoulder in the familiar way of a lover, she felt as if she might be sick. Bile rose in her throat and her head started to pound.

‘Valentina?’ When he said her name, another piece of her heart broke.

She tried to smile, despite her pain, but couldn’t. ‘Felipe,’ she said, weakly. ‘I’ve just returned, and I, I…’ Valentina could no longer find the words.

‘ You’re Valentina Santiago?’ the woman asked.

Valentina balled her fists and dug her fingernails into her palms, trying not to cry. ‘I am.’

The woman’s eyes widened and she stepped forward to kiss Valentina’s cheeks, taking her by surprise. ‘Thank you for the gift you’ve given Felipe’s family. They must have meant so much to your father for him to be so generous, and you, too. We will never forget it.’

‘You’re very welcome, and I’m sorry for calling unannounced like this, I?—’

‘Would you like to come inside for coffee?’ the woman asked, as Valentina’s eyes were drawn to the way she placed her palm over her stomach and gently rubbed it. She found it almost impossible to look away.

‘Thank you, but no. I shouldn’t have come, I just—’ Valentina was lost for words again. I came to tell your husband how much I love him, that we were finally free to be together. I came to be with him. I came to tell him he didn’t have to wait any longer .

‘Valentina, please, wait,’ Felipe said as she took a step back, and she heard how gravelly his voice sounded, almost as if he was pleading with her.

But Valentina shook her head, glancing at the woman’s rounded belly once more, taking in the simple gold band on Felipe’s finger. Valentina turned and lifted her skirt, running back the way she’d come, even as Felipe called behind her. But she couldn’t stop, not now that she’d seen his wife.

His pregnant wife.

But as much as it hurt, she could hardly blame him. She’d been gone for over a year and he would have had no reason to believe that she wouldn’t be married, that they could be together, but the sting of what very much felt like betrayal was almost impossible to bear, nonetheless.

‘You’re certain that I can’t travel to London?’ she asked.

‘Valentina, the fighting has only intensified, and the risk of travelling along with it,’ Lorenzo said, rubbing at his temple in the way she’d noticed he only did over problems he couldn’t easily solve. ‘I wish I had different news for you, but I think it’s too dangerous for you to travel right now. I recommend that you wait until the war is over.’

‘How long could that be?’

He shrugged. ‘Truly, I don’t know, but I doubt war could rage in Europe for much longer, which makes even more sense for you to wait it out.’

Valentina digested the news, her shoulders falling in disappointment as she collapsed back into the chair. ‘So I’m supposed to just sit here until it’s over?’ she asked, hearing the way her voice was rising and not able to stop it. ‘If I go now, I might get there in time to bring her home with me, but if I have to wait…’

Her lawyer didn’t answer, but he didn’t look away either, his eyes fixed on hers, telling her that what she was saying wasn’t wrong.

‘I understand, Valentina, I do. But you expect me to give you advice, and that’s what I’m doing.’

She nodded. He was only doing his job, she understood that, but it didn’t mean she liked what he had to say.

‘A letter arrived for you today, though,’ he said, before clearing his throat. ‘From

London.’

‘A letter?’ She was about to ask who it was from when he reached into his top drawer and took it out, passing it to her.

‘I’m going to leave you to read it, and I’ll have my secretary bring in paper and a pen, in case you’d like to reply,’ he said. ‘I’ve made enquiries into the postal service, and although it might be slow, any replies will still reach their intended recipient.’

Valentina felt the weight of the envelope in her hand, her pulse racing as she turned it over and saw the return address. It was from Hope. But she didn’t move until she was alone, reaching over then for a letter opener from the other side of the desk.

The letter inside was only one page long, and she sat back in her chair to read it, forcing her eyes to read slowly instead of jumping ahead and skimming over the words.

Dearest Valentina,

It is with a heavy yet hopeful heart that I write to tell you that your beautiful daughter has been adopted. I kept her with me for much longer than I intended, four weeks in the end, but you told me that if the perfect family came along that I was to proceed with the adoption, which is what I did.

Your darling little girl stole the hearts of a lovely couple in their thirties, who’d struggled for many years to conceive. He is a doctor, and she was a music teacher who now teaches piano from home. I personally visited their home and met with them twice before agreeing to the adoption, and I can assure you that they will give her a stable home and a lovely life—all the things we spoke of when we discussed adoption.

I wanted to write to you immediately, although with the situation in Europe so volatile, I fear that by the time this reaches you the outlook might be even worse. My greatest fear was that you would arrive soon after the adoption was confirmed, hoping to be reunited with your daughter, and I certainly hope you receive this before travelling back here. I’m not even certain travel is a possibility, but I wanted to let you know all the same.

My intention is that the memory box you left behind will be given to your daughter soon after she turns twenty-one. I know how important it was to you, for your child to have a connection to you, and I made sure to tell her parents that you might want to contact them in the near future. They weren’t overjoyed, but of course they did understand.

I hope that you will forgive me the decision I made, and trust that I did what was best in the moment for your beautiful girl.

With all my love and best wishes,

Hope

Valentina pressed her fist to her mouth as she stifled a cry. She was too late. Even if the war hadn’t made travel impossible, she wouldn’t have made it in time. Her daughter was gone.

There was a soft knock at the door then, and she dabbed at her eyes with her knuckles before clearing her throat.

‘Come in.’

‘Mr Gonzalez asked me to give this to you.’

Valentina took the pen and paper offered to her, but as she stared down at the blank page, she couldn’t find the words she needed. What did she say to the woman who’d helped her so graciously through one of her darkest moments? To the woman who’d found a home for her daughter, rightly or wrongly, with her best interests at heart?

She was tempted to discard the paper and instruct her lawyer to take over communications, but Valentina owed Hope more than that. And so she reluctantly lifted the pen and leaned forward, the inky nib hovering over the paper.

Dear Hope,

My heart is broken.

She picked up the piece of paper and crushed it into a tight ball in her palm, before taking a deep breath and starting again.

Dearest Hope,

Thank you for your heartfelt letter. I intended on travelling back to London immediately, now that my family’s affairs have been taken care of, but the war has changed everything. My greatest wish was to be reunited with my daughter, but I trust in you and your decision. I know how hard it must have been for you, and I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done.

Please pass on my best wishes to her new parents, and tell them that I am here if they ever need anything, or if their circumstances change. If for any reason they could no longer care for her…you know the rest.

As promised, I intend on making a substantial donation to ensure the continued success of Hope’s House. I will never forget the care and kindness you showed me when I needed someone the most, and my lawyer will ensure the money is transferred to you as soon as possible.

With love and my best wishes,

Valentina Santiago

She folded the letter in half and placed it in the envelope, carefully copying out the address before leaving it on the desk and wiping her tears.

Valentina took a moment to gather herself, then she stood and turned to the door. Her lawyer stood there—the man who’d helped her when she had nothing, who’d fought for her because of the respect he’d had for her father.

She would have liked to hug him, but instead she held out her hand, seeing the look on his face. He knew she was hurt, she could tell from his pained expression as he stepped towards her and took her one hand in both of his. But before he could say anything, she spoke.

‘Thank you, Lorenzo, for everything you’ve done for me,’ she said, smiling through her tears. ‘The care and compassion you showed me when I turned up unannounced in your office shows your true nature, and I will never forget your good deed. Your firm has my business for as long as I am alive.’

‘Thank you,’ he said, still holding her hand tightly in his. ‘Your father always told me how special his daughter was, and I see that, too. You’re a remarkable woman, Valentina.’

She wished he knew how much his words meant to her.

‘I’ve left a letter on your desk to be mailed, and I intend on composing another letter that I’d like you to hold for me. It’s to be sent to my daughter when I’m no longer here, when she inherits the Santiago estate.’

He nodded, and she appreciated that he didn’t ask questions.

‘I would also like an appropriate amount of funds to be transferred to Hope Berenson, and I’d like your firm to keep abreast of her situation. I don’t want to see her doors close due to lack of funds, so please ensure that doesn’t happen. You may make ongoing donations as required.’

‘I understand,’ he said, as he slowly let go of her hand.

‘My daughter…’ Valentina paused, steadying herself and forcing her emotions down. ‘My daughter has been adopted by a family in London. In the first instance, I would like you to offer them money to return her to me. If they are the family Hope suggests they are, I foresee that they will refuse, and if that happens I’d like an investigator to stay informed of her whereabouts and the family’s situation. I would like for you to make donations to her school and any clubs she may be part of as she grows up, anonymously of course, and when I pass away, everything will be left to her or to her children.’

‘Valentina, if I may, you’re only a young woman. You might change your mind about whom you’d like to leave your estate to, especially when you marry and start a family.’

She touched his shoulder, knowing that he had her best interests at heart, but also how hard it would be for him to ever comprehend what she’d been through, and how that would affect the decisions she made for the rest of her life.

‘I don’t intend on marrying ever again, or having any more children, but I will keep your advice in mind,’ she said.

‘You’re going to have a wonderful life, Valentina,’ he said. ‘I’ve never met a young woman quite like you.’

‘Thank you,’ she said, as she walked out of his office, through the reception area and into the sunshine.

It felt like a lifetime ago that she’d made her way to this office, pregnant and afraid. It was as if she’d been a girl then, and now she was a woman, with a fractured heart that she doubted would ever heal from the wounds it had sustained. She’d lost her father and mother, but she’d gained an understanding of the world and now knew how much pain one person could endure yet somehow still survive.

But she was alive, and she had her freedom. She would forever yearn for her daughter and mourn the loss of Felipe from her life, but she wouldn’t let that stop her from living. With the estate her father had left behind, she had the ability to help others, to live a full life despite what she’d lost. And in his memory, that was what she intended on doing.

For my daughter, for my father, I have to live . For now, she could mourn the loss of everything she’d loved, for everything she’d wanted but could no longer have, with the memory of her daughter tucked in her arms; but tomorrow she would force herself to start living.