Page 16 of The Spanish Daughter (The Lost Daughters #5)
15
PRESENT DAY
Rose stood in front of the wardrobe and tried to tell herself that she wasn’t doing anything wrong. But it still felt strange to be going through the private things of another without permission.
She gave you permission when she left everything to you in her will.
Rose stood on tiptoe and took the large plastic box down that had been placed on one of the shelves—not hidden away but in full view, almost as if it might have recently been opened. She’d already looked through the clothes and other personal effects that had been left behind, but they were simply the clothes of a petite older woman, as well as some very impressive pieces of jewellery that she presumed had been gifted to Valentina when she was much younger. Rose would have them carefully packed away and stored while she considered what, if anything, to do with them, but her curiosity had been piqued with the discovery of the box.
Holding it, she sat on the bed, opening the lid and gasping when she found a matching piece of blue silk to the one she’d found in her tiny box. She took it out and felt the familiar touch of the soft fabric, before setting it aside and carefully going through the rest of the contents in the box.
There were a handful of photos in an envelope, and she took them out and slowly looked through each one, smiling at the beautiful girl looking back at her. Valentina had been a gorgeous child, with thick almost-black hair that curled down to her waist, and the biggest eyes Rose had ever seen. There was a man beside her in some of the photos, sporting a thick moustache and a smile that always seemed to be directed towards the young girl, presumably her father, and in one of the photos there was a very attractive woman, slender and tall, with enough of a resemblance to the child to make Rose believe she was Valentina’s mother.
Rose ran the tip of her index finger over the face of the little girl, studying her before filing the photos back into the envelope. There was another photo that she found once she put the envelope aside, of a young man sitting on a horse and holding a polo mallet. Rose turned the photo over to see if it had anything written on it, and she was pleased to find the name Felipe along with the date 1938. She stared at it a while longer before going through the rest of the treasures, knowing in her heart that these were the things that Valentina had held dear, the things that she hadn’t wanted to part with, for them to have been kept in the box, separate from her other belongings.
There was a little velvet box, which held a small gold ring, and she ran her thumb over it and held it up, hoping to find an engraving on the inside and smiling when she did.
She held it a while longer, before trying to fit it on her ring finger and failing. Valentina’s hands must have been incredibly petite, as the only finger Rose could slip it onto was her little one. She stared at it, wondering who Felipe was and why his name had never come up when the lawyer had given her the name of Valentina’s one and only husband, from whom she’d received an annulment. Rose guessed the ring was from her wedding, although she couldn’t be sure.
There was a pretty dress with soft blue dots on it at the very bottom of the box, along with a well-loved teddy bear with its arms barely hanging on by a thread. Rose placed the teddy on her bed, propped against the pillows, and took out one of the last things in the box: a small bottle of perfume. She took off the lid and held it to her nose, expecting it to either smell bad or not at all after so many years, but the scent was divine still and reminded Rose of the peonies her mother had had such a penchant for. She dabbed some to her wrists and behind her ears, liking the fact that she had something to connect her to the great-grandmother she’d never known.
But as much as a trip down memory lane she imagined the contents of the box had been for Valentina, to her they only told snippets of a story that failed to provide answers to any of the questions she had. Her only clue to the past was the name Felipe, who must have meant a great deal to Valentina for her to have a ring with their names engraved inside it.
And the piece of silk. She’d left it behind for her daughter all those years ago, and she’d kept a matching piece for herself, which showed just how important it must have been. Rose reached for it again, lifting the silk to her face and inhaling, as if the scent of it might give her another clue. But it smelt of nothing.
Who were you, Valentina, and why, with everything at your disposal, did you choose to place your daughter for adoption? Why did you never come back for her?
Part of Rose wondered if she’d ever find out the answers she sought, and after she’d packed the box away, she tucked herself up in bed, hugging one of the pillows tight to her as she thought about her Mum. She would have given anything to have her to talk to. To tell her about Benjamin and their day at the polo, to ask her about her grandmother and whether she’d even hinted at being adopted, to have her to explore Argentina with and to pore over all the clues from the past, so they could try to figure out the mystery together.
She squeezed her eyes shut tight, knowing that it didn’t help to wish for what could never be, but finding it impossible not to when all she wanted was her mum back.
You never did tell me how I was supposed to navigate life without you, Mum.
If only there were a manual for how to deal with losing the single most important person in your life. Because if there was, Rose would have been first in line to buy it.
The next day, Rose was sitting outside in the courtyard, tucked beneath the shade of the pergola looking over the latest round of documents sent from the lawyer, when Benjamin appeared. He looked dusty and hot—the exact opposite of how she felt—and she smiled, putting down what she’d been reading, happy to see him. She’d been hoping to see him since the polo game on Saturday, but other than waving to her from a distance, they hadn’t spent any more time together since.
‘You’ve finished for the day?’ she asked.
‘I have. But I’ve come to convince you that there’s another game of polo you have to attend next weekend.’
‘Another game?’ she asked. ‘I’ve only just recovered from watching the first one.’
Benjamin laughed, before indicating the seat across from her.
‘Please, sit, I’d be happy for the company. I’m so tired of looking through all this paperwork.’
He leaned forward and took the orange juice she’d poured earlier and then forgotten about, taking a long, slow sip. She watched him, drawn to his easy manner and how comfortable she felt around him already. Although she could feel the creep of a blush when she thought about how close they’d come to kissing the other day.
‘I’d offer to help, but paperwork isn’t my thing.’
‘Would you believe that for years it was my thing?’ she asked.
‘For your work?’
She nodded. ‘Yes. When I was a lawyer.’
Benjamin took another sip of her drink, ignoring her raised brows. ‘You said was .’
Rose groaned. ‘I’m still turning the decision over and over in my mind, but I officially resigned from my job this morning. I have no idea whether I’ve done the right thing or not, but I had to give them an answer and I wasn’t ready to go back.’
‘You’re brave,’ he said, sitting back and folding his arms behind his head.
‘Brave or stupid,’ she replied. ‘I’m not quite sure which one yet.’
‘Well, I’d give you the benefit of the doubt and say brave,’ Benjamin said with a wink. ‘Does this mean you’ve decided to stay?’
Rose pretended to ignore his question; she was still so uncertain of how she felt or what she wanted to do. ‘So tell me about this next polo game,’ she said, happy to turn the subject away from her and back to him. ‘You’re playing?’
‘I am, but it’s a friendly match rather than a professional one. We have a long lunch afterwards and drink wine, so it’s very relaxed.’
She smiled, liking the sound of it. ‘Where is this relaxed polo game? Will I be able to find my own way there?’
Benjamin’s grin hinted there was something he wasn’t telling her.
‘I feel like I’m being tricked, but I have no clue why.’
‘Every year we hold a social tournament, for all the local families to come and watch and be part of,’ he said. ‘It’s something everyone looks forward to, and we play mixed teams of men and women.’
Rose frowned. ‘And the catch is?’
‘That it’s held here,’ he said. ‘The Santiagos have hosted it for almost eighty years, with a break of a few years during the war. It’s quite the tradition.’
‘Here? It’s held here, at this property?’
‘Now you can see why I want you to say yes,’ Benjamin said. ‘Without your approval…’
‘Of course, but please, make it simple for me. I’m not used to being hostess.’
‘Everyone is so looking forward to meeting you.’
Her eyes widened. ‘Everyone? Who’s everyone?’
‘Everyone who knew Valentina. They want to meet the hidden granddaughter. They’re curious about you, but it won’t be like the other day. These are just good local people to whom the Santiagos mean a lot, and I know you’ll like them.’
She groaned and shut her eyes for a moment. The reason she was loving it here so much was because it was so peaceful and she didn’t have to see anyone except for Benjamin. She’d never spent so much time on her own, but oddly, she’d never felt so content.
‘How about we start by you meeting just a few local people then,’ he said, and when his fingers brushed hers, her eyes popped back open.
‘Neighbours?’ she asked.
‘I was thinking my family,’ he said. ‘They’re very interested to meet you.’
Rose grimaced. ‘Have you asked your sister if she wants to see me again? Because she was the opposite of friendly at the polo.’
‘My sister thinks you’re here to stake your claim and put everything up for sale,’ he said. ‘She’s loyal to the Santiago family and their legacy, and she needs to spend time with you to get to know you. I think you’ll like her.’
‘She did her very best to make sure I didn’t feel welcome, although I can understand why,’ Rose told him, nervous about the idea of seeing his sister again.
‘Give them the chance to meet you properly,’ Benjamin said, his voice gentle. ‘I think you’ll enjoy yourself, and my parents might be able to help you with some of your questions about the family. And I’ll handle my sister.’
‘When?’ she found herself asking, despite the thought filling her with horror.
‘How about dinner tomorrow night?’
Rose refused to be nervous, and she also refused to be scared of his sister. ‘Thank you for the invitation, I’d love to come.’ Maya might not have been the friendliest when she’d met her, but Rose was curious to meet the rest of Benjamin’s family. ‘And you’re welcome to host the polo here. I have no intention of changing any traditions.’
Benjamin touched her hand again, and as she looked into his eyes, she wondered for a second whether he was finally going to lean closer and kiss her. But instead, he removed his hand and stood, smiling down at her.
‘ Adiós ,’ he said. ‘Don’t sit out here too long with your papers.’
She lifted her hand in a wave and sat back in her chair, reaching for her orange juice and drinking what was left of it. The thought of dinner with his family was oddly terrifying, but part of her was curious, too, about what they would be like. Not to mention that she’d always loved having dinner at the homes of friends with large families—the conversation and banter had always made her wish for siblings of her own.
But staying for dinner and then the polo meant that there was no way she could make her rescheduled flight to New York. She’d come to Argentina thinking it was something she had to do on her way to visit Jessica, but she was quickly starting to realise that there was something about Argentina that was making her want to stay, at least for a little bit longer.
Rose sat back and looked around her, at the citrus trees in big terracotta pots, the pool stretching out before her, the blue sky above. Being here was good for the soul, and as much as she knew this wasn’t her real life, she also knew that it would be stupid to leave in a hurry when she had nowhere else to be.
Just stay. Give yourself another week or two. Hell, stay a month . She’d never lived abroad or travelled; she’d jumped straight into her law career without even catching her breath after university, and the past year had drained every last bit of her energy. So long as Jessica didn’t mind her changing her flights, it would be stupid not to stay, wouldn’t it?
‘You’re not coming to New York, are you?’ said Jessica the moment her face came into view. ‘I’ve actually been waiting for you to call, believe it or not.’
Rose shook her head. ‘I can’t believe I’m saying this, but no, I’m not.’ She took a deep breath. ‘I don’t know what’s happened to me, but the more I find out about my ancestors, the more time I spend at this property and discover the past?—’
‘Rose, you don’t have to explain yourself to me,’ Jessica said. ‘Just tell me whether this has anything to do with Benjamin, because I feel like you haven’t told me enough about the tall dark Argentine who’s clearly captured your attention. I have a feeling it’s not all about the past.’
She laughed. Trust Jessica. ‘Honestly, he is a part of it, but he’s not the main reason. I just, I don’t know how to even explain, but I already feel like this place is part of me. I’m just not ready to leave yet, and it’s the strangest thing to say, but I actually feel like I’m finally discovering who I am.’
‘I understand. Trust me,’ she said, lowering her voice to a whisper. ‘If I had the chance to have some gorgeous man sweep me off my feet in a foreign country…’
‘I heard that!’
Ryan’s voice in the background made them both burst into laughter, and Rose was so relieved she’d called to say she wasn’t coming rather than sending a message. She’d tried to compose it and it had been impossible, and she needed to chat with her friend.
‘You’ve done so much for me, Jess, and I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay you for all your support. I promise I’ll come and see you before I go back to London, though. I can’t wait to see you and the girls, despite the delay.’ She laughed. ‘And you, Ryan, because we all know you’re still listening.’
Ryan appeared in the frame behind Jessica and gave her a wave, looking guilty as charged.
‘You forget that there are so many things I’m going to need you for, Rose. You make it sound like this is a one-way street with me helping you, but it’s not,’ Jessica said, and when Rose saw tears shining from her friend’s eyes, she welled up, too. ‘When the girls leave for college, the day they get married, when they move out of home…’
‘I’ll be the crazy aunt crying with their mum or consoling you with wine and chocolate,’ Rose said. ‘And I’ll be proud to be there for every milestone. You know I’d never miss any of those things, and if there’s ever a time you need me, I’ll be on a plane to New York before you know it.’
‘Well, now we have all that sorted, get off the phone and go and enjoy your evening,’ Jessica said, smiling through her tears. ‘And know that we love you, and that you’re welcome here any time, whether that’s next week, next month or even next year. You never have to explain yourself to me, and you never have to ask for permission to arrive on our doorstep.’
Rose blew her a kiss as they said goodbye, setting her phone down and lying back on her bed once the screen was black. Initially when she’d arrived at the house, she’d considered moving into one of the other rooms, but there was something soothing about the main bedroom with its enormous four-poster bed and view out over the property that she felt drawn to.
She lay there a moment and stared up at the white canopy above, the edges caught up for now, and visualised lying there in the middle of the summer with the sides down so that she could sleep with the windows thrown wide open. Initially, the quiet had scared her. She’d yearned for the familiarity of her flat in London—the noises of traffic and the city outside her window. But after her second night here, she’d realised that a change had been what she was truly yearning for, without even knowing it. The silence had been a relief, allowing her to sleep deeply and wake rested, almost as if her body had reset being somewhere different without all the noise of her usual life, and even now there was a peacefulness about how she was feeling that she couldn’t quite describe. It’s as if I can finally breathe again. It’s as if I can see clearly after months of blinking through fog .
Eventually Rose sat up and reached for the little wooden box that she’d kept beside her bed ever since she’d arrived. She always returned the piece of silk and the figurine to it whenever she’d had them out, and she took them out again now, lying back down with them clasped in her palm. And not for the first time, she wondered if Valentina had ever lain in this room, or on this bed, holding the horse in her hand as she tried to figure out what to do. Rose was determined to discover what had happened to her and why she’d come to make the decision to leave her baby at Hope’s House, and she feared that she might never discover the answers to her questions if Benjamin’s family didn’t open up to her. Which meant that she had to find a way to connect with them when she met them all, to get them to trust her and talk to her about the Santiago family.
But if his sister’s reaction at the polo was anything to go by, she might have her work cut out for her, no matter what he said. Rose sighed and decided to look through the clothes she’d brought with her. It was just dinner, and she knew that she didn’t need his family’s approval, but if her hunch was right, then Benjamin’s family might be the key to her discovering everything she needed to know about Valentina.