Page 31

HOLT

I jump up from the patio chair the second her picture flashes across my screen. Excusing myself, I quickly head inside and answer the phone in the middle of my assistant coach’s living room. “Hey, are you on your way?”

“No.” Her voice is filled with frustration and disappointment.

“What’s wrong? What happened?”

“I went in the back to use the bathroom before leaving, and when I came back out front, the computer system had completely crashed. Everything—I mean everything —was gone. I nearly collapsed on the floor and had a panic attack. I’ve been on the phone with IT for over an hour. They think they can retrieve everything, but I have to stay here and test it as they work on it.”

“Shit,” I mumble under my breath. “And you have no idea what happened?”

“No, Heidi and I got the store all closed up. I went to the bathroom when she left; and when I came back, I was gonna sign off, but the computer screen was black. No screen saver. Nothing.”

“Well, at least they think they can get the data back.” I peek out the sliding glass door at the people on the back deck, drinking and talking. “I’m gonna head that way. I’ll help you.”

“Holt, you can’t, that would be so rude. Your staff is celebrating a winning season. And you can’t tell me that y’all aren’t talking about the playoffs and what changes you wanna make before that starts.”

She’s right. Last night was the last game of the regular season, and we’re undefeated. I can almost taste the State Championship. Last season, we lost in the second round of the playoffs. I was so proud of my team. It’s hard enough to have a brand-new coach, but to make it to the playoffs during that coach’s first year? It was freakin’ awesome.

My assistant coach, Troy Skinner, has been planning this barbeque for weeks. All the football staff and their respective spouses are here. Several teachers too. Even the principal.

But does that really matter? Merit needs me.

“But you need me,” I say.

She giggles and snorts. “I need you to do what? Turn the computer on and off and hit the enter button? I think I can handle that all by myself.”

“It’s getting late. I don’t like you being there late at night all by yourself,” I protest.

“Holt,” her voice is firm and tender all at the same time. It’s the voice I imagine she’ll use with our children. “I appreciate the sentiment, but you forget that I was working late nights way before you sauntered into my store.” She clears her throat. “With Bunny, I might add.”

If I close my eyes, I can see her scrunching her nose. Reluctantly, I let her win the battle. “Point taken.”

“Have fun, and I’ll see you at home. Okay?”

I love it when she calls our house home .

Pocketing my phone, I spin around and nearly crash into Heidi. “Whoa.” It takes a minute for her presence to register in my brain. “Heidi, what are you doing here?”

“I’m babysitting.” She nods down the hall to the kids’ room. She’s got a bag of snack crackers in her hand. “Mrs. Skinner asked me to watch the kids so she could enjoy some adult time at the barbeque.”

“I didn’t know you babysat for Troy and Brittany. I haven’t heard them mention it before.”

She plays with her ponytail. “It’s kind of a new development. I saw her in the grocery store a couple of days ago with the kids. I told her I would be happy to babysit anytime I wasn’t working at the store.” She peers behind my shoulder. “Speaking of, is Merit here yet?”

I shake my head. “No.”

Her brow furrows. “Is everything okay? When I left the store, she said she was running home to change clothes and then heading this way.” She looks at her watch. “I’ve already been here watching the kids for an hour.”

I drag my hand across my chin. “The computer system crashed.”

Her eyes widen. “At the store?”

“Yep.”

“Oh man. Can it be fixed?”

“She thinks so. She’s working with IT now.”

She bites the side of her lip. “I’d go back and help her, but…” Her voice trails off as she looks back down the hallway.

I pat her shoulder. “It’s fine. She knows she can call me if she has any problems.”

Nodding, she smiles widely and shakes the bag of crackers. “I came out to get a snack for the kids. We’re playing a card game. Why don’t you come play a round? The kids would really get a kick out of it.”

Before I can say no, she grabs my hand and drags me down the hallway.

***

I’m a little bit frustrated.

I get home later than expected, and Merit’s nowhere to be found on my side of the house. I was really hoping she’d be sitting in the living room, waiting on me. Or better yet, lying in my bed.

Walking down the hall to the Children’s Wing, I quietly open the door and immediately hear the tell-tale music from one of her old movies. Leaning against the doorframe of her own small living room, I fold my arms across my chest and silently watch her. Curled in a ball on the couch, she’s wearing one of her near-see through cotton nightgowns and a cream color button-up sweater—one that she described as ‘it’s like wearing clouds’. Some song and dance number plays on the TV screen, and she taps her foot back and forth in beat. Her redwood hair waterfalls across the pillow. I bet it smells like pumpkin spice. That’s her latest shampoo choice. Apparently, she had to change her scent when we decorated the front porch with pumpkins and a hay bale.

My birthday is next Saturday—technically the day before Halloween—but neighborhood trick or treating will happen that night, and she wants the house to look festive for when the kids come over.

“Are we really gonna keep doing this?” I ask.

She yelps in surprise. Balancing on her elbows, she pouts at me. “You scared the crap out of me.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

She cocks her head. “What question?”

“Are we really gonna keep doing this?”

Her face falls, and she immediately sits upright. Her hand rubs her sternum, drawing my attention to her breasts. “What?” she gasps.

She’s so freakin’ funny.

She thinks I’m talking about us .

I bite back a smile. “This back and forth. Me coming over to the Children’s Wing. You coming over to the Big House. We haven’t slept apart in weeks. Why can’t we just move your stuff into my bedroom. Our bedroom .”

A visible relief washes over her like a summer rain. She mimics me, folding her arms across her chest. “Because that’s what dating people do. They have sleepovers. They don’t move in together.” She clicks her tongue together like my suggestion is pure ignorance.

Rolling my eyes, I push from the wall. Turning off her TV, I hold out my hand. “Fine. Will you sleepover with me tonight?”

She nibbles on her pink lips, flirting with me. “What’s in it for me?”

“How about multiple orgasms? Would that work?”

Her face turns beet red. “Holt!”

Laughing, I tug her from the couch and pull her behind me, eager to get her to the bedroom and deliver on my promise.

“How was the barbeque? Was the food good?” she asks.

“It was all right. But you know me, I’m spoiled by Jeff’s cooking.”

“Did you talk about the playoffs? I know everyone is excited.”

“We talked about it a little bit. I didn’t wanna get into the specifics since so many people were there.” I squeeze her hand. “Hey, you didn’t tell me Heidi was gonna be there.”

“Huh? Heidi was there?”

“Yeah, I thought you knew. She was babysitting the Skinner kids.”

I watch from the corner of my eye as she shrugs. “Maybe she wanted to surprise me. I told her I was worried that I wouldn’t really have anyone to talk to. I mean, I’ve gotten used to having Raylee and Ella and your mom to talk to at the football stuff, you know?”

I stop walking. Bending, I give her a quick, simple kiss. “Hey, you always have me.”

I don’t have to say more. She knows what I’m saying.

I’m saying I’m not like Edward. She’s not just a pretty chess piece that I want to stand in the corner like a statue. I want her with me. All the time. I want her to talk and engage, voice her own opinion. Hell, anyone who actually knows her can see that Merit is the life of any party.

We silently walk down the hall, and I can’t help but think that I love the sound of her bare feet on the marble floor. For some strange reason, that sound fills my heart with even more love for the beautiful woman by my side.

Once upstairs, I reach in the pocket of my jeans, pull out my cell phone, and plug it into the charger on the table outside the bedroom door.

“Why do you do that?”

I glance down at the table. “Leave my cell phone out here, you mean?”

“Yeah. You never put it on your nightstand, you always leave it out here. You do the same thing with me. You leave it on the table outside the Children’s Wing.”

“It’s habit. Mom never let me and Raylee keep our cell phones in our bedrooms at bedtime. She thought we’d stay up all night playing on them. Once I made it to the pros, it became a sanity-saving decision. Since they had me on all that social media crap, I was getting notifications all night long. Don’t get me wrong, it didn’t wake me up because I sleep like the dead, but I’d get angry if I woke up to piss in the middle of the night and saw ten-thousand little lights flashing across my screen.”

She pulls her own cell phone out of her sweater pocket and waggles it at me. “I have to sleep with mine next to me. What if the alarm company calls?”

I tuck her hair behind her ear. “I know. I don’t mind. Like I said, it’s just a habit for me.”

“But what if something happens? An emergency? How will your family get ahold of you?”

Crossing the bedroom threshold, I shut the door behind us and nod at my nightstand. “That’s what the house phone is for.”

She blinks. “I can’t believe I’ve never noticed the phone there before. Who has the number?”

“Just family.”

I’m not surprised when she asks the next question. We all know Merit is curious. She leans over, wrapping her hand around my arm. “Has anyone ever called you on it? I mean, have you gotten an emergency call?”

My heart tightens just thinking about it. “Yeah. Back in February, actually.”

Her breath catches in her chest. “What happened?”

“Dad thought Mom was having a stroke. Fortunately, it was just an adverse reaction to some new medication.” I drag my hand through my hair. “Scared the shit out of me, though.”

She reaches up and twists her fingers in my curls. “I’m sorry you were scared.”

Damn, she’s amazing.

Heading into the bathroom, we brush our teeth. She’s still using the same green toothbrush I gave her on the first night we stayed together. She finishes and heads back into the bedroom while I change out of my jeans and T-shirt. I hear her turn the knob on the lamp, and the stream of light flowing into the bathroom darkens. When I come out, I find her standing in front of the window. She’s opened the blinds and is looking out over the moonlit backyard.

I can’t even describe how good it feels just to look at her.

Pulling her hair to the side, I kiss the nape of her neck, inhaling her scent. Sure enough…pumpkin spice.

I whisper against the shell of her ear. “I love you.”

She suddenly spins around. Her hands glide down the side of my face and settle on my chest. Her lips open. A small noise escapes. But before she can say an actual word, she clamps her mouth shut.

Holy hell. This is it.

She’s ready.

“What were you gonna say?” I ask.

She shakes her head, mumbling. “Nothing.”

“Don’t lie, Merit.”

“Mmmm.”

“You were gonna tell me that you love me. It’s written all over your face.”

She doesn’t say anything. She just sways back and forth, scratching her fingernails in a loose pattern across my pectorals.

“Tell me the truth.”

Her mouth opens and closes. Then, opens and closes again. Taking a shaky breath, she says the words I’ve longed to hear. “I’m in love with you, Holt.”

Emotion strangles me. Now I’m the one afraid to talk. I’m afraid because words can’t even begin to tell her what she means to me.

When I don’t say anything, she must think my silence means I want more.

“Did I hurt your feelings? All the times you told me you loved me, and I didn’t say anything back? All the times I demanded you say it to me again, again…and I just…stood there?”

My left arm folds across her lower back. With my free hand, I trace the curve of her cheekbone. “No, baby, you didn’t hurt my feelings.”

Her bottom lip sticks out just a little bit, and I can’t wait to suckle it in my mouth. “I think it would’ve hurt my feelings,” she admits. She blinks, her eyes widening with emotion. “If I had said it first, and you didn’t say anything back.”

“Merit, it didn’t hurt me because I could see the love inscribed all over you, from head to toe, like it’s tattooed on your skin. I could hear it in your heart, pulsing a rhythm just for me, every single time you kissed me. I could feel it in your body, aching for us to be joined as one, every single time we made love.” I tip my forehead down, resting it against hers for a moment. “I know what you went through with Edward wasn’t easy; and in many ways it was torturous. I know you don’t like to dwell on it, but what he did to you was abusive, baby. You might not wear scars on the outside of your body, like some women; but that doesn’t mean you don’t carry them on the inside. Your spirit was shredded to pieces by that man.”

I run my fingers down the elegant length of her neck and skim them across her collarbone. “I knew it might take some time for you to tell me you loved me, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t experience it. The words were already written on your heart…with invisible ink…made only for my eyes. And I’ve been reading them. Every. Fucking. Day.”

She stands on her tiptoes and nuzzles against my jaw, scratching her face back and forth across the stubble that I’ve grown out, just for her. “I’ve loved you since before you loved me. I don’t understand how people can say that love at first sight doesn’t exist. I loved you. And I wanted you to fight for me.” She licks her lips, licking my jaw in the process. “You did. Every minute of every day since we met. You didn’t let me give up.”

Pulling back just a smidge to look in my eyes, she smiles sweetly. “You brought me back. The real me .” She leans up and kisses my lips. “And I’ll never stop fighting for you too. You don’t have to be afraid of me. You don’t have to be skeptical.” Her voice lowers, filling the space between us with truth. “Because we’re real. Me and you. We are the real fucking deal, Holt Hill. I love you. I will fight for you until the last star dies and our bones are nothing more than dust. Because you are mine. And I’m never letting you go.”

I can’t believe this is happening. Part of me never thought she’d admit the truth—to herself or to me.

This is it.

This is the start of our forever.

I kiss her. And I mean, I fucking kiss her.

My tongue plunges into her mouth, fighting for space, and my teeth nip at her sweet bottom lip. My fingers graze against her breast when I pull the sweater down her shoulders, forcing her to take it off. I kiss up and down her neck, sucking hard, branding her with my mark. Reaching under her nightgown, I grab her panties and push them to the floor. When my fingers find her, she’s soaking wet. “There’s My Merit. You’re so ready for me, baby. Always ready for me to pour my love into you.”

I barely touch her clit, and her back bows, collapsing her body against mine. Dipping down, I slide two fingers inside of her, instantly finding the spot that makes her scream. I slowly make love to her with my hand, letting my body do the talking instead of my words. There’s something about this slow and languid pace. It’s laced with a longing and intensity that feels new and unexplored. Her arms cradle around my head, locking my mouth onto hers. And we’re not even kissing.

Fuck me… we’re… panting and licking and consuming. That’s the only way to describe it. We are fucking consuming each other. She’s exhaling the pain of her past, and I’m inhaling it, taking it as my own, refusing to ever give it back to her.

She’s my world, my life, my eternity. And I’ll be damned if I don’t swallow her hurt and bury it down deep, locking it away so her life can be nothing but happiness.

Because that’s what Merit deserves...happiness. And I’m gonna be the one to give it to her.

I twist my fingers and thumb her clit, and when her gasps and moans echo into the stillness of the room, I nearly lose my shit and come in my briefs.

“More. More, Holt,” she whispers. Threading her fingers into my hair, she pulls and tugs, delighting in my hiss of my pain.

Firming my grip around her back, I lift her off the ground. Standing to my full height, her body settles into the new position. Her feet dangle in the air, her body too tense and impatient to even take the time to lock her legs around my waist. Her pussy swallows my fingers, eager and happy with our new position. I curl my fingers against her G-spot. When her body starts to shake with her impending orgasm, I crash my lips to hers, sucking her tongue into my mouth.

And when she comes all over me, I can barely keep my sanity. Her desire is everywhere—my stomach, my hands, her thighs. “My baby soaked me. Let me lick you clean.”

“No!” Fogged by her passion, Merit’s unaware of her volume and basically screams the word in my ear. She scrambles from my hold, and I gently set her on the ground, steadying her arms when she wobbles back and forth and nearly falls. She grabs the waistband of my boxer briefs, whining when they don’t pass over my erection easily. With breathless anticipation, I help her, tossing my underwear on the ground next to hers. She looks down between our bodies. Her eyes grow heavy with desire, blinking slow and lazy. Grabbing my dick, she circles a drop of pre-cum around my thickened head.

Holy shit.

Just her touch makes my entire body tremble. My cock is so hard, it’s actually borderline painful.

“Fuck this foreplay, sir . I need you. Now.”

Oh, hell yes. I agree.

Scooping her into my arms, I lovingly place her on the bed. I barely lie down before she’s making a move to straddle me. “Wait.” My voice is so thick with hunger, it doesn’t even sound like me. “Let me get a condom.” When I roll it over the length of my erection, her eyes widen in yearning.

She finally pulls off her nightgown, giving me a full view of her amazing body. Her large breasts. The swell of her peaked nipples. The soft curve of her hips. Even the mole she has above her belly button.

It’s all perfect.

She’s perfect. Nudging my shoulder, she urges me to lie down. Climbing on top of me, she slowly feeds my cock into her body, one delicious inch at a time. Her back arches, and she loudly moans. Unable to stop myself, I do the same, howling into the room like a wild animal. We still for a moment, just absorbing the magnitude of the night, the feeling of being joined together.

When she starts to rock back and forth, my vision blurs. “Fuck me, Holt,” she whispers. “Make love to me and fuck me—all at the same time.”

The words tumble from my lips, soaked in gravel and honey. “Yes, baby.” I grab her hips—hard—forcing her body even closer to mine. The friction is gloriously unbearable. It’s nearly too much for me to process. The quicker she moves, the harder I pump into her. I can feel my need pulsing throughout my entire body—like I’m drowning in cum up to my eyeballs. When she explodes, I finally allow my own release to detonate.

My orgasm lasts forever, draining me, leaving me blissfully weak.

Sweaty and sticky and satisfied, her body collapses down on me, and I cover her in kisses. I’m out of breath, like I just ran sprints. I repeat the same command to her that she asked of me that night. “Tell me again.”

She tenderly kisses my chest and grazes her fingernail across my nipple. “I love you, Holt.”

I’m about to say it back when the house phone rings. We both look over at the nightstand like an alien is sitting on it smoking an after-sex cigarette. Panic grips my heart, and it feels like thunder is rumbling in my brain. I’m frozen, completely paralyzed with fear.

After several rings, Merit lifts her body off mine, severing our connection. I’m too stunned and terrified to even mourn the end of our intimacy. She reaches over and answers, her hand shaking. “Hello?”

I stare at her, unable to form a sentence.

“Yes, ma’am. It’s Merit.”

Who the heck is she calling ma’am?

Her eyebrow lifts. “Seriously?”

Shit. That sounds bad.

“Okay. We’ll be right there.” She hangs up the phone and lies down on the pillow next to me.

Please let the kids be okay.

All of a sudden, a smile tugs at the corner of her mouth. “We need to go to the hospital. Ella’s having the baby.”

All the dread wooshes out of me like a balloon popping. “Seriously?”

She giggles and snorts. “That’s what I said.”