Page 17

MERIT

This party was a terrible fucking idea.

I’m gonna kill Holt.

The four eyes staring at me right now are making my skin crawl. Every blink is giving me murderous tendencies.

My heart is roaring so loudly in my ear, I can barely hear the alarm company rep talking to me. “Everything should be set now. Thanks so much for your patience. I’m sorry for the late hour, and I hope you have a good rest of your evening.”

I pretend to be on the phone for a few seconds more just so I don’t have to engage with them. When it’s painfully obvious that the other person already hung up, I slowly drop my cell phone in my purse.

“Interesting to see you here,” Edward says.

I nod. “You too.”

His brow furrows. “Why would that be interesting?”

I fold my hands in front of me. “This reception honors those who donated to the new public library. I’m surprised you gave a donation.” The whole time we were married, Edward refused to give money to any charitable cause. No hospitals. No schools. Not even the Girl Scouts for cookies.

He scoffs. “Of course, I didn’t donate. The old library is good enough for people. I’m here because Ben and Georgia are dear friends.”

Oh, please. Edward is not dear friends with Mayor Ben and his overly flirtatious wife. He’s social-climbing acquaintances with them. And that’s only because the law firm represents them.

I glance down at the ground, trying to keep my composure, silently begging for this to be over. And silently begging her to keep quiet. “Of course.”

But I’m not that lucky. She talks. “What about you, Merit? Did you donate to the library? Is that why you’re here?”

Taking a deep breath, I look over at Delaney. Her blonde hair is sleek and perfectly styled. She’s wearing a black dress that’s so short and tight, it would constitute a swimsuit to some church denominations. A former cheerleader, she’s extremely petite. I bet she’s barely over five-feet tall. One thing has changed since her cheering days, though, and that is her breast size. In fact, she took sick leave during her first month of work at the law firm to have them done. I still have my suspicions that Edward paid for them. But, since he required us to have separate bank accounts, there’s no way to know.

“Merit?” she asks again. The look of superiority etched across her face tells me all I need to know.

She thinks I’m a total idiot.

An idiot who couldn’t keep her husband happy.

An idiot who didn’t even know her husband was banging someone else. For nearly two whole years. Before catching them in the act. And then fainting.

“No, I didn’t donate anything.”

“Then, why are you here?”

“Well,” I clear my throat. “I’m here on a date.”

Edward cocks his head to the side. “A date? With whom?”

Right at that second, Holt appears, taking the steps two at a time. Great. This should be torture.

“Hey.” Sliding his arm around the small of my back, he doesn’t even look at the couple in front of me. “They are pulling the truck around.” Finally realizing he’s being rude, he turns to introduce himself. “I’m sorry to interrupt, I’m—” He abruptly stops. His fingers tighten on my back. His voice shifts to a dead tone. “Delaney.”

I blink.

Excuse me.

I watch in stunned fascination as Edward’s eyes widen in surprise. I’m sure Delaney’s would bug out, too, but she’s had too many fillers to show that much shock.

She takes a small step forward. “Holt.”

That pounding in my ears just got a whole lot louder, like a damn tropical hurricane pounding against a tin roof. “Ummm. Y’all know each other?”

Holt’s jaw twitches. His body tenses. “Delaney was a couple of years behind Ella at North and Camden Academy.”

Delaney smirks. Like the Devil. “Come now, Holt. That’s a very simplistic way to describe an ex-girlfriend.”

What. The. Hell.

What did she just say?

I beg myself to stay quiet, but my brain doesn’t listen. “Ex-girlfriend?”

Holt looks between Delaney and Edward, before glancing back to me. “We went on a few dates.”

He’s actually lying to me.

I can tell he’s lying.

But Holt doesn’t lie. Not to those he cares about. Not to me. At least that’s what he said.

I don’t have to call him out, Delaney does it for me. Her high-pitched cackle makes me cringe. “A few dates? Is that what you call it? We used to live together, Holt.”

Holy crap.

I’m gonna die. Or faint again.

I feel like my lungs are being crushed by a giant boulder. I move to step away, but Holt refuses to let me go. His hand clamps down on my side, his fingers gripping the fabric of my dress. If I keep trying to pull away, I’m afraid I’m going to trip.

So, what do I do?

I give up.

I give up and stand there, staring at my feet. I wiggle my toes, silently counting them. Silently begging for everyone to leave me alone.

“What are you doing here, Delaney?” His finger taps against my side, trying to draw my head up.

“I should ask you the same thing,” she pops back.

“I donated to the library.”

“And the two of you came together?” Her voice lifts at the end, like she really can’t understand why someone would choose to be with me. Willingly, that is.

“We did.” I can feel his eyes on me. “Merit and I are dating.” Under normal circumstances, the possessiveness in his voice would make me swoon. But these aren’t normal circumstances, and I’m just doing my best not to throw up in my mouth.

“Really? Well, I guess I can speak for both Edward and myself when I say, we’re really glad to see you’re finally moving on with your life, Merit.”

Holt snorts in shock. “Edward.” His voice is cold and icy. “My apologies, I should’ve recognized you. I’m Holt Hill.” He holds out his hand, offering a handshake to my ex-husband.

I finally look up, unable to avoid the encounter anymore.

Edward’s glaring at me, pinning me to the ground with a disapproving stare. Trying to prove he has more class than us, he eventually shakes Holt’s hand. “Ah, the football player.” He puffs his chest out and stands taller. But it doesn’t matter how hard he tries, he’s still a shrimp compared to Holt. When wearing my heels, I’m actually an inch and a half taller than Edward. “Delaney has mentioned you.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she has,” Holt says with a scoff.

Delaney reaches over and traces her hand across Edward’s chest. “Oh Holt, don’t let your feathers get ruffled.” She smiles up at Edward, pretending to be engrossed with him. “Edward and I talk about everything. We have no secrets. Isn’t that right, love?”

Edward brushes her hand away and straightens his collar. He doesn’t even answer her. I used to hate it when he would do that to me.

Ignore me in a crowd.

Well, I guess I preferred being ignored to being criticized. Maybe if he just ignored me the entire time, I would’ve been happier.

Edward narrows his eyes. “You don’t even like football, Merit. You’ve never watched a game.”

Stay quiet. Stay quiet. The mantra doesn’t work. “You’re the one who didn’t like football. I watched college ball with my dad and grandfather all the time.”

That’s true, I did. But I stopped after my freshman year of high school when my grandfather passed away. It made me miss him too much. That’s why I honestly had no idea who Holt was. It’s also why I don’t really know that much about football. I was too young to grasp the rules and the stats and the terminology. After that, my experience was limited to our small-town, high school games—which, as we all know, were more of a social event than a true athletic event given the size of my school. I wanted to go to our college games, but Edward didn’t want to.

So, we didn’t.

Holt leans down, whispering low and secretive against my ear. “Really? I didn’t know that.”

I softly clear my throat, silently begging him to stop. I can’t have him so close. I can’t have his hot breath sending comforting and forbidden chills down my spine. Not when my ex-husband is staring at me. And not when my mind is clouded with visions of Holt and Delaney.

Dating.

Living together.

Playing house.

I straighten my spine and fold my hands again, trying to regain my composure. It’s plain to see that Edward didn’t like my comment. And it’s even plainer to see that Delaney didn’t like Holt’s intimate gesture. Her face reddens in anger.

Needing to gain the upper hand over me again, Edward decides to cut me where he knows it will hurt. “Well, I suppose it’s good we ran into you. I can tell you that Dad and I are going to be out of town for the next two weeks for a trial. I think your next loan payment comes due on Thursday. You can leave it with Jill, like normal, at the front desk. I just wanted you to know it will be a few days before we cash it.” He reaches around and grabs Delaney’s ass. He cocks his head to the side and makes a humming noise, like he just came up with a really good idea. “Actually, that may help you out some. Giving you a few more days, I mean. Dad did mention your last payment was two-hundred dollars less than what you had been paying.”

A low growl reverberates through my chest. “You know I always pay way more than my required payment, Edward.” I’m gritting my teeth so hard I’m not sure how he can even hear me.

“Oh, I’m aware,” he feigns innocence. “I just wasn’t sure how the store was doing this month.” He chuckles, making my brain shudder in fury. “Like we talked about, at some point, the novelty of a small-town children’s shoe and clothing store will wear off.”

Holt pulls me tighter against him. Despite my displeasure with him, I can’t force myself to step away. Edward still has that power over me; he is pushing me down, chopping away at my strong roots, like someone cutting a pine tree from the forest.

I need Holt’s strength.

Just for a few more minutes.

And then? Then, I think it’s pretty obvious I can’t have him in my life anymore. The threads tying him to my old life are wound too tight, suffocating me with their complexity.

Holt’s voice rings out loud and firm. “The store’s doing great. Busier than ever. In fact, it’s so busy that Merit’s gonna hire another part-time staffer in the next few weeks.”

Edward’s eyebrows shoot up. “Really?”

What the hell am I supposed to say?

I nod. “Mmm-hmm.”

“Well, that’s good. And I see you’re at least making enough discretionary income to buy some new clothes.” He nods at my red dress.

“This dress is seven years old. It just looks new because you never wanted me to wear it.”

Delaney gasps. “Seven years!” She laughs, “Geez, Holt, can’t you afford to buy your date some new clothes.”

“Delaney,” he warns.

She immediately cuts him off. “As fun as this has been, we should head back inside before someone misses us. Right, love?” She leans her head against Edward’s shoulder and actually forces a red-painted fingernail inside his tux shirt, nearly popping a button. “Our attempt to sneak outside for a little alone time has backfired.”

Nodding, he gives us a quick goodbye and leads Delaney into the house.

The second they’re out of earshot, I sigh, exhaling the breath I didn’t even know I was holding. My shoulders sink, and my spine curves.

Holt eyes the door. “Your ex-husband is even more of a dickhead than I imagined. How is that possible?”

The relief I feel being out of Edward and Delaney’s shadow is short-lived. Extremely short-lived. Hurt and anger curl into my soul like smoke climbing out of a chimney. Finally, I walk away, giving myself space from Holt.

Guess what? There’s not enough space.

Even if he were on the moon, there still wouldn’t be enough space between us.

I trot down the stairs, doing my best not to fall.

“Merit, wait.”

Holt grabs my arm. I snatch it away, hissing like a snake. “Don’t touch me.” I turn my gaze so I don’t have to see the hurt in his eyes. Instead, I busy myself, digging for my phone in my purse. He rushes ahead of me, opening the passenger door to his idling truck. I sidestep and plant myself in front of a bush landscaped to look like a spiral.

When I start pecking around on my phone, he groans and slams the door shut. “What are you doing?”

“Ordering a ride.” I really don’t feel like paying for a ride-share, but it’s too late to call Kyra. And I’ll be damned if I get in that truck with him.

He folds his arms across his chest. The same chest that only ten minutes ago, I couldn’t wait to wrap my arms around. I had every intention of lavishing the same attention on him tonight that he lavished on me last night.

A lot of shit can happen in ten minutes.

A lot of shit did happen in ten minutes.

“Why?” he grunts.

My voice hitches up like a middle school girl. “Why?”

What a stupid question.

He flaps his hand behind him. “My truck’s right there. I know you, I know you don’t wanna pay for a ride. Let me drive you. We obviously need to talk about this, talk about what happened.”

The three valets stare at us, slack-jawed and intrigued.

I glance at my phone. It says the nearest ride is fifteen minutes away. Well, I guess they better pull up a chair and enjoy the show.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Holt.”

“Bullshit.”

I hike my purse higher on my shoulder, trying to ignore him. My whole body feels irritated, like even my blood cells are scraping across sandpaper. I can’t believe I started falling for him. I’m a fool. A complete and total idiot. I should have kept to my no dating policy. “Go,” I whisper. “Leave me alone.”

“No. I’m not leaving. We need to talk.”

“Fine. You wanna talk?” I swallow, trying to keep my all-consuming sadness at bay. “Did you know?”

His brow furrows. “Know what?”

“That Delaney was the mistress. That my husband left me for her?”

“Of course, I didn’t know. If I did, don’t you think I would’ve mentioned it.”

I toss my hands in the air. “I don’t know what to think!” I scream. “We’ve only known each other for a month. How can I know you?” My lips are so dry they crack with each word. “I don’t know you at all.”

He takes a step forward, casting his body in the glow of the streetlamps. I can see the freckles on the bridge of his nose. He shoves his finger into his chest. “You know me.”

“No, I don’t. But I can learn about you, can’t I? You want me to learn, Holt? Fine. How long did you and Delaney date? How long did you live together? Did you sleep in the same bed? Share the same shower? Did you prefer morning sex or night sex? Was she at your beck and call?”

His head falls back. He stares at the sky, mumbling to himself. Lifting his arms, he drags his hands through his hair.

A fumble of noise catches my attention, and I see all three of the valets shuffling to get their cell phones in position. They aim and hit record. Two bright camera lights shine in our direction. The third guy curses and tilts his phone, trying to figure out why it isn’t recording.

Fear and anxiety crash over me like a tsunami.

The last thing I need is for this fight to be plastered all over the Internet.

And despite my anger at Holt, I would never want his privacy to be invaded like that. I feel the need to protect him.

I want to protect him.

He deserves better than some tabloid lies.

As much as I hate to admit it… he deserves better.

“Mer, it wasn’t like that. You have to beli—”

I cross the distance separating us, stopping him before he can say anything else. Blocking their view, I lower my voice. “Stop talking. They’re filming us.”

Holt looks over my head and frowns. Turning back, he gazes into my eyes. “I don’t care. I need to explain everything to you.”

I shake my head. “Just go.”

“I’m not leaving you here. Not in a million years.”

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I can’t believe this is happening. The last thing I want is for this moment to be preserved on video. I lick my lips, wishing I didn’t have to give in, but there’s really no other choice. “Fine. You can take me home. I’m just ready to be done with this.”

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see he’s hurt by my choice of words. He opens the door for me, and then hands the closest guy a tip, the whole time pretending he doesn’t even care that they’re trying to film us. As soon as I’m in the truck, I cancel my ordered ride. I make a move to fold my hands in my lap, but as a fuck you to Edward, I rebel against the trained habit and instead rapidly tap them against my thighs, pounding a quick rhythm to match that of my racing heart. Quickly, we drive through the winding streets of my old neighborhood.

Holt plays his own finger percussion against the steering wheel. “Are you ready to talk?”

“If you say one single word, I’ll open this door and throw myself out.”

I guess he reads my mind.

Or my face.

Either way, he doesn’t make a sound for the entire ride.