Page 26

HOLT

I call a few more guys over to the huddle and point out some play changes that I think will make a difference tomorrow night. We’ll be playing our toughest opponent yet. Not to mention the coach is a douchebag. I’m really not a vindictive guy, but after some of the stuff he said during my first season of coaching last year, it’ll be nice to wipe the smug smile off his face.

I’m right in the middle of my speech when Carson nudges my arm, nodding behind my shoulder. “Uh…Coach?”

Turning around, I follow his line of sight. Standing at the top of the hill, looking down on the field is Merit. Her hands are planted firmly on her hips, and she eagerly scans the people, obviously looking for me.

There’s something else that’s pretty obvious too…

She’s pissed.

Maybe pissed doesn’t even properly describe it. I can literally feel the anger pulsating in the air.

I can’t say I’m surprised, though. I knew this was coming. I just thought I had another week. Catching my eye, her scowl deepens, and she takes off, stomping down the hill like a rampaging bull.

Well, this isn’t going to end well.

She’s not even taking the sidewalk. There’s a sidewalk for a reason.

The lawn maintenance guy won’t be cutting the grass until tomorrow so everything looks pristine for the game. But for now, the ankle-deep grass is a landmine of ant beds and sticky weeds. Tossing my clipboard down on the bench, I cut across the field, trying to get closer so I can tell her to stop and use the sidewalk and concrete stairs instead. She glances down at her feet, twisting to the side as she takes a few more steps. All of a sudden, she screams and plops down on the ground. I see a flip flop fly through the air as she tosses it off her foot.

“Shit,” I mumble under my breath and take off in a sprint.

I don’t realize Carson is behind me until I hear him cutting to the side in the other direction, telling me he’s going to get ice for her. By the time I reach Merit, most of the ants are gone, but she’s still swatting at her left foot and leg.

“Get ‘em off! Get ‘em off me!”

Squatting in front of her, I lift her foot in my lap and smash the last four ants still crawling around. Her soft, tanned skin is already angry, flared in red and white splotches. Scooping her into my arms, I carry her back up the hill to the parking lot. The whole time she’s squirming like a little kid, trying to pull her foot close to her face to check the damage.

“Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. I stepped in an ant bed. They bit me. Oh my gosh, I got bit so bad.” She gives me a play by play, like I wasn’t just right there with her. Lowering the tailgate to my truck, I gently set her down. She’s already itchy. She turns her foot to the left and right, violently scratching the inflamed skin. “Little fuckers,” she mumbles, barely loud enough for me to hear.

I can’t help but laugh. She’s so freakin’ funny. “Try not to scratch, Mer.”

Her face snatches up, staring at me like she can’t believe I would have the audacity to even speak to her.

Fortunately, Carson jogs up with an ice pack and her missing flip flop. “Here you go.”

Her face instantly melts. “Oh, thank you so much, Carson.” She shows him her swollen foot. “I stepped in an ant bed. I got stung.”

Carson nods. “Yeah, those ant beds are brutal. The guy only has time to mow one time a week so he does it on Friday mornings.”

She sighs, “It’s my fault. I should’ve taken the sidewalk.” Her eyes narrow in my direction. “But I was in a hurry.”

“Yeah, I saw that.” Carson glances between the two of us. “Everything okay?”

“It’s fine,” I tell him. “Head on back down. Keep going with practice.”

“Yes, Coach.” He cocks his head, studying Merit. “My mom always has me soak my foot in baking soda and lemon juice.”

Merit smiles softly, “Maybe I’ll try that. My granny always had me do vinegar, but it never really worked. I’d think everything was good, and then it’d start itching again like three weeks later.”

I wait until Carson’s out of earshot, and I close the distance between us. Lifting the ice pack, I run my finger across several of the ballooned bites.

She slaps my hand away. “Don’t touch me.”

Instead of saying anything, I lift an eyebrow.

She doesn’t like that.

Anger flares in her hazel eyes, making the colors dance back and forth. “You!” She leans forward, pointing her finger in my face. “How dare you!”

I fold my arms across my chest. “You’ll have to be a little more specific.”

“Don’t play coy with me, Holt. You know exactly what I’m talking about. How dare you pay off my loan?” Her voice is so loud she’s basically yelling.

I reach up and turn my ballcap around. My shirt must ride up—like usual—because her eyes dart to my stomach before traveling back to my face. “I did it to help,” I say.

Her brow furrows. “What are you talking about? It’s not your debt to pay. It’s mine.”

When I don’t say anything, she starts in again. “Do you know how embarrassing that was? I went to make my loan payment, and Edward waltzed out in the middle of the crowded lobby and announced to everyone that my millionaire boyfriend had paid off my loan.” She tosses the ice pack to the side and jumps off my tailgate. “And then, he asked what I was trading for your generosity.” She tosses her hands in the air. “He basically called me a whore.”

Outrage. Pure hatred and outrage crawl from the pit of my stomach to the back of my eyes, blinding me. I’ve never wanted to hurt someone so badly. “I’ll fucking kill him.”

“Why?” Her scream is muted by the break in her voice. “I mean, it’s true. He may’ve called me a whore, but you’re the one who made me feel that way.”

My chest splits open. “Mer…” I reach for her, but she sidesteps me.

“Why did you do it?”

“I was just trying to help. I wanted us to be done with him. Wanted you to be done. Finished.”

“But it was my responsibility!”

“It’s fine; I promise. It’s no big deal. It’s just money. I have plenty of it.”

It catches me off guard when she gives me a look of utter disgust. It’s like she doesn’t even know who I am. Like she’s staring at a stranger. It suddenly stabs my heart. Without saying another word, she climbs in her car and drives away.

I never want to see that look on her face again.

Whatever I do, I have to fix this. Now.

***

It’s a few hours before I make it home.

Terrified of what Merit may say or do, I go to my parents’ house, seeking my dad’s advice. He, of course, confirms that I’m a dumbass and never should’ve paid off her loan. Not because he’s worried about me wasting my money, but because he sides with Merit. He explains to me that I took away her empowerment. Her ability to conclude her business with her ex-husband on her own terms with the money she earned from her own two hands from the store he never thought would be a success.

After leaving, I stop by the store, but she isn’t there. I have to say I’m more than relieved when I see her SUV parked in the driveway of the Children’s Wing. My worry starts to escalate, though, when I can’t find her. She’s not in the Children’s Wing or outside by the pool. Room by room, I search the bottom floor, eventually taking the stairs two at a time, praying she’s upstairs. My mind runs rampant with thoughts of her abandoning me, leaving me. My only saving grace is all of her stuff is still in the Children’s Wing—clothes in the closet, toiletries in the bathroom, diamond and ruby bracelet in her jewelry box. Merit would never leave that stuff behind.

I slow when I see a light coming from beneath the door of the large bathroom attached to the kids’ room. I lean forward, listening. “Merit?”

“Don’t come in. I’m naked.”

Every muscle in my body relaxes. I’m so damn relieved to hear her voice, nothing has ever sounded so sweet. “I’ve seen you naked before. I’m coming in.”

I slowly open the door, unsure about what I’ll find. She immediately shifts in the bathtub, folding her arms over the side, shielding her nakedness from me. “Not all of me at one time,” she says.

I take a step forward. “What do you mean?”

She points to a dressing bench on the far back wall. “You can sit over there. I don’t want you close to me.”

That sentence nearly makes me collapse. I’ve fucked everything up. I feel like my lungs are crushing in on themselves. In a fog, I sit down. There’s a towel with a picture of a dinosaur draped across the edge. It’s Ty’s.

Her voice swirls in my head. “What did you mean by that?” I ask again.

“You’ve not seen all of me naked at one time.”

Oh. She’s right. I haven’t.

I’ve seen her perfect breasts. I’ve seen her perfect pussy. But not all together. And when she sleeps? She’s either in her bra and panties or one of those flimsy nightgowns. And now? I glance up, catching her reflection in the large mirror on the wall behind the tub. Her bare back is on display. I follow the alluring curve of her spine down to the top of her ass. And the rest of her is hidden beneath the water and bubbles.

If I stare at her anymore, I’ll get an erection. I’m already in dire straits just being in the same vicinity knowing she’s wearing nothing. It’s just the way my body responds to her. I don’t really think my giant erection will make her happy, considering she doesn’t even want me to sit next to her. So, I glance around the room, trying to clear my mind. A large bowl is sitting on the counter next to a box of baking soda and some spent lemons. “Did it help?” I ask, nodding at her home remedy.

“It did.” She looks down at the tiled floor. Her voice is meek and somber. The old Merit. “I apologize for invading your space, but this is the largest bathtub in the house. I just wanted some time to myself to relax. And I know you sometimes like to get in the hot tub after practice. I didn’t want to use it and interrupt you.”

What she means is she didn’t want to see me.

And she’s right. This bathtub is huge. The girls call it their indoor swimming pool. It’s actually close to the same size as the hot tub.

“It’s fine. You know everything in this house is yours.”

She glances up, studying me. “Don’t say that.”

I open my mouth, but quickly close it. She has to know I’m telling the truth, there’s no point in adding more fuel to the fire by trying to defend that one comment.

She sighs. When she talks her voice quivers. “Why did you do it?”

“I told you. To help you.”

She shakes her head. “Don’t lie to yourself, Holt. You did it to help yourself, not me.”

I shake my head. “What are you talking about?”

“You didn’t like me being tethered to him.”

I think about what’s she saying. Once again, she’s right. “You’re right. I hated that you lived in his house, that you were beholden to him—or his parents—for that loan. He’s had you in purgatory all these years, and I wanted to free you. I wanted to free us .”

“And you didn’t think to discuss it with me beforehand? Before writing this huge check?”

I hang my head in shame. “I knew you’d say no.”

“And what about all those other women?”

I lean forward, resting my forearms on my knees. “What other women?”

“The women who wanted your money? The women who tried to steal from you, swindle you? And here you are, just throwing money at me. Why? We barely know each other. We’ve been dating, and I’m your tenant. That’s it.”

My throat is raw and swollen. I can’t even swallow. “Don’t, Merit. Now, you’re the one lying to yourself. You know it’s more than that. It’s been more than that since the second I walked in that store.”

She turns her face, thinking I can’t see her wipe her tears in the reflection of the mirror. “Maybe.” After several long seconds, she twists back around. Water splashes around her waist. Her tone is somber and serious—dead. “Could you close your eyes, please.”

Silently nodding, I do as I’m told. I hold my breath just so I can hear everything she does. Sliding out of the tub. Wrapping herself in a towel. When I hear her feet shuffle past me, I snatch her, gently grabbing her wrist. Wet strands of hair fall from her bun and stick to her shoulders. Her eyes are red and glassy.

She’s heartbreakingly breathtaking.

“Are you leaving me?” I finally ask the question I’ve been scared of since the minute she pulled out of the parking lot this afternoon.

“What are you asking, Holt? If I’m leaving you for the night? Or if I’m leaving you forever?”

“Both. Because both of those outcomes are unbearable.”