Page 34 of The Sins That Bleed

His voice is thick with unshed tears, and mine threaten. He rubs at his eyes and swallows roughly and if I didn’t need to hear this from him, I would tell him stop. I wait for him to collect himself.

“Fuck, I’ll never get that out of my head.

It was heartbreaking. Sunny then ordered us to move so she could help Lady V.

Gave her that pipe and she started to come round, but you turned on me.

Said I’d pulled a prank on you, then you said some awful fucking things about Sunny and I snapped.

I punched you and then she woke up, and when you went to leave, she…

she moved so fast. I’ve never seen anything like it, it was as if time slowed and we were frozen. ”

He rubs his hands down his face and says what I know but can’t comprehend. I think about the punch he threw, about how my nose should be in agony and I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d broken it.

So why didn’t it hurt?

“She bit you, drank your blood from your neck, and you were enjoying it.”

Desire flashes through me at the memory of how it felt to have her drinking from me. It’s probably part of the appeal or some shit. I’ve read enough vampire books that mention the victims enjoying it.

I don’t feel like a victim though, far from it.

He finishes with how he’d brought me back to my suite to sleep and there’s no denying it all happened. There’s no hint in his voice of a lie, about the events or that he was involved in some elaborate prank in any way.

I’d known that all along, but my mind needed a way to comprehend it, and blaming Nico was all it could come up with apparently.

“My nose, how come I have no bruising or pain?”

He pales slightly at my question. “Sunny, gave you some of Valeska’s blood. There was so much around that it wouldn’t be missed. Don’t look at me like that, you were out of it and we had enough going on without needing to take you to the hospital.”

I sigh and nod. I’m not even mad about it, the thought of having mon cauchemar’s blood swirling through my body brings a sense of contentment that should scare the shit out of me.

I set the tray aside and Nico darts up, taking it from me and putting it on the nightstand. I thank him, but he’s not listening, not really. A nervous energy is radiating off him; he’s more twitchy than normal and I know he hasn’t got everything off his chest.

“Tell me what’s got you so worked up, Nico?

If it’s the things I said last night, I’m so fucking sorry.

I was a prick to you, and I‘m ashamed for what I said about Sunny. You had every right to respond the way you did.” I try to grab his arm to get him to look at me. I need him to know how sorry I am.

He twists away from me and steps back from the bed so I can’t reach him, placing his hands on his hips as his head drops. He looks broken and it’s killing me. He takes a steadying breath before he levels me with a look that I’ve never seen him have before, and I prepare myself for the worst.

“I’m the one who should be sorry, Rai.”

“What are you talking about? I’m the one who said those—” he cuts me off.

“I knew! I knew what they were, and I never told you.” His voice is loud against my sensitive head.

“What do you mean you knew what they were? What does that mean?” My voice comes out steadier than I expect.

“They’re vampires , Rai, as in ‘drink blood to survive’ vampires. I mean, it’s obvious after last night; the way you feel today is what happens when they take too much blood from you.” He shakes his head as if he’s still in disbelief about it all.

“Vampires.” I say it out loud, my mouth forming the word like it’s testing it out.

I should be shocked, disgusted, or something but all I feel is relief.

Everything about Valeska makes sense to me now—how she could get in and out of my apartment so easily, how she recovered so quickly from a wound that should have been fatal.

Although, that’s not the only giveaway that I chose to ignore.

It’s the way I could never remember what colour her eyes were, how as soon as I saw their real colour I knew they were the same eyes that had been haunting me for weeks. That all the other weird things that happened were somehow related to her, like the haunting in the bathroom, it had to be her.

But why would she want to scare me away?

“You knew something was off with her, didn’t you?

Since you two got tangled up with each other, you’ve been acting weird and yesterday confirmed it.

How you are together, she was relieved you were okay and ready to do everything to protect you.

And you, being so thankful without biting her head off.

And when she bit you, you let her, Rai.”

My mind is reeling; I let her bite me.

He must see the confusion on my face because he continues.

“I watched you hold her to you. She had to force herself out of your grip to not kill you. Sunny told me that’s not normal, it hurts to be bitten but you looked like she’d offered you the best ecstasy.

” His voice is almost full of awe, it’s exactly how it felt.

“How did you know they were vampires? And why did you check for her pulse if you knew she wouldn’t have one?” I’m not mad, in fact, I’m curious, which is surprising for me. I love rules and this goes against the very fabric of life.

That when you die you don’t come back.

He takes a seat back on the bed near my feet, a little more relaxed now that I’m not freaking out, which is what he was probably expecting. I wait for him to continue, letting him gather his thoughts.

“I panicked. I had no idea if they’d have a pulse or not since I’ve never met a vampire before, but it’s the logical thing to do in a situation like that.” He shrugs and I get it.

It’s not like there’s a handbook, and we’ve been in plenty of situations where checking for a pulse is part of the job.

“You know how we joke about me being psychic? Turns out those things weren’t a silly guess or joke, I actually am.

Yeah, I’m as shocked as you, but Sunny confirmed it.

I’d been seeing things; I didn’t tell you about them all because I didn’t want you to think I was crazy.

” He smiles like what he’s saying isn’t crazy.

I believe him though.

“I don’t think you’re crazy, Nico. I believe you. I wish you had felt like you could tell me, but I understand.”

“You do?” He looks at me as if looking for a lie, one that isn’t there. “Fuck, you do believe me! Man, I feel so relieved, I thought you’d lock me up as soon as I admitted it. I wouldn’t blame you, I’d probably lock you up if the roles were reversed.” He laughs and it makes me chuckle too.

“I’d let you lock me up. Imagine me being the psychic? No chance.” It earns me another laugh and I relax a little more, things feeling more like they usually do now that his secret is out.

“I wasn’t going to tell anyone, and then I met Sunny.

I think she sussed me out straight away, but she only confronted me yesterday about it.

After we talked about the ‘incident,’” he uses air quotes and I chuckle that he’s referring to his kiss and her rejection as the incident, “she spilled the truth and confirmed that I’d been picking up on these things.

I was in utter shock, and she left to give me some time to comprehend it all and then, well, you know what happened next. ”

Yeah, I watched as the other half of my heart lay at my knees, bleeding and in so much pain. The only thing I could do was offer myself up to her, because a world without Valeska wasn’t a world worth living in.

I needed to get to her.