Page 33 of The Sins That Bleed

Visions

RAI

N ico helps escort me from the room since I’m in a daze and the only thing I want to do is crawl to Valeska and offer myself up to her entirely.

She’s possessed me.

Something Sunny said, which doesn’t make a lot of sense to me right now, is that this is part of the appeal or something. I didn’t care, I needed Valeska to keep drinking from me, touching me and letting me feed her, feel her quenching her thirst with my blood.

I’m harder than I’ve ever been in my life and I want her hand wrapped around my cock as she works on my throat. I imagine her drinking from me as my cum spills over her hand. I moan but Nico ignores it, taking me to my room.

I try lamely to fight him off so I can get back to her, but I have no energy and I’m like putty in his hands. I blink and I’m lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering how I got here.

“Sleep well, princess, we’ll talk in the morning.”

Morning? It’s not that late, it is still daylight I am sure of it, but the curtains are closed and I have no way of telling. My eyelids grow heavy and start shutting of their own accord. I drift into sleep and dream of mon cauchemar.

Always of her.

My head pounds so I reach up with my hands to massage my temples.

I’m starving and thirsty, as if I’ve not had anything to eat or drink for days. I throw the covers back and head out to the kitchen, the room spinning as I walk so I have to hold myself up using the walls.

It takes me twice as long as it should, but I finally make it to the kitchen, switching on the lights under the cabinet to avoid making my headache worse with brightness.

I find a glass in the cabinet and fill it with water, downing the glass in a few gulps and refilling it.

I do it a couple more times until my brain no is no longer trying to run away from my skull.

I’m bombarded with everything that happened and I grip the counter. “Fuck.”

I can’t make sense of it, one minute we were fine and then utter chaos descended. I reach a hand up and tentatively touch my neck to check for wounds where Valeska bit me, but I feel nothing. Did I dream it?

I move to the mirror in the hall and look at my neck and find nothing. I shift closer and tilt my head in hopes that will help and that’s when I spot them, two small puncture wounds where my veins crawl up my neck. They look more like tiny red hickeys than anything, but they’re definitely there.

I don’t want to acknowledge it, my mind is unable to wrap around the concept that she is anything other than human. I need her to say it, to tell me herself and make it a reality.

I want to find her.

My stomach growls, echoing in the silent entryway, telling me I need to eat before I can do anything else.

I make my way back into the kitchen, opening cabinets and looking in the fridge, but indecision is warring through me, and the thought of standing and making something has me a little light headed.

I’m gripping the counter for a second time, letting the woozy feeling pass, when I hear a soft knock at the door. My heart begins to pound at the thought that it might be Valeska, but deep down, I know it won’t be.

The thought of moving right now to answer it is filling me with anxiety, I’ll pass out for sure if I try. I concentrate on breathing evenly and waiting for this feeling to stop when another knock comes with a muffled voice on the other side.

“Hey, I’m coming in, princess, so you better be decent.”

Nico .

Relief and guilt flood me—he’s here and he’ll help me even after all those nasty things I said about him and Sunny. Fuck, I don’t deserve him at all. The familiar stinging in my eyes threatens to spill tears but I hold them back. He needs to know how sorry I am.

That I didn’t mean any of it.

I hear a key turn in the lock, but I stay where I am, my body tense and locked up. Having to face him and see the hurt I’ve caused is something I want to delay for as long as possible. I know that makes me selfish, but it’s the only thing I can control right now.

My anxiety is spiralling at all the what if’s.

“Hey, princess, how you holding up?” His voice is soft and calm, and it takes everything in me not to break down.

“You know, surviving.” I try to shrug but it comes out jittery, emotion clogging my throat.

I grip tighter onto the counter and bow my head. This light-headedness won’t go away and it’s pissing me off. I hear Nico come further into the room until he’s right next to me and places a tentative hand on my shoulder.

“You need to eat. I’ll cook something up for you, but you should probably go back to bed. Did you manage to drink something?”

“Yeah, I had a couple of glasses of water. I’ll be fine though. I can make something myself, no need to babysit me.” I try to joke but it comes out strangled.

“I’m not here to babysit, Rai, and I wasn’t really asking. What happened yesterday was fucked up, but right now, you need someone to take care of you and I’m the one that’s going to do it.”

“Why?” I demand. I’m trying to push him away because the thought of him helping me after what I said makes me feel like the shittiest person ever.

“Don’t argue with me, princess, you’re my brother, and brothers look after each other when they can’t do it themselves.

Before you say anything to argue against it, just drop it for now at least, please?

We can talk about it all when you’ve eaten and have more energy, not while you’re one thought away from a panic attack. Now, let’s get you to bed.”

I blow out a breath, holding onto his words about us being brothers and hoping that it’s enough to make him not hate me. The vice squeezing my heart and lungs loosens a little.

“Okay.”

I stand up straight, taking my time to reach my full height to keep the dizziness at bay, and Nico places a hand on my back.

He helps me turn and I take a few steps, but my legs are like jelly, wobbling underneath me.

Nico props me up, slinging my arm over his shoulder wordlessly and practically carries me to the bedroom.

He helps me climb in, propping my pillows behind me so I can sit up. I lean back and close my eyes against the spinning room; this out of body feeling is making me more anxious and the urge to clean so I can give it somewhere to go is overwhelming.

I can’t do that, so I concentrate on smoothing the bed sheet across my lap, over and over again to remove any creases. It only helps a little, but I’ll take it right now. I smooth it over for the sixteenth time, about to start again when Nico’s hands grip mine.

I’d forgotten he was still standing next to me, watching me expel my nervous energy. His strong grip holding my hands grounding me and I feel less alone, even if things are weird between us right now.

“I’ll be right back. How does peanut butter on toast sound? I’ll get you a coffee to wash it down with too. Do you want anything else?” His voice is low and I’m grateful, my head is still hurting.

“Another glass of water would be great, please.”

“Of course, coming right up, princess.” He squeezes my hands once more and heads toward the bedroom door.

“Nico?” He pauses at the threshold and I turn to look at him. “Thank you.”

He gives me a sad smile and a nod before he disappears. I fucking hate this. We’ve never been in this situation before, we’ve never even argued except about which pastry is the best or other dumb shit that friends, no, brothers fight about, but it’s never anything serious.

I shut my eyes again, trying to relax, but all I see are reruns of everything that went down yesterday and my heart breaks all over again. What a fucking mess. When I think of Valeska’s teeth sinking into my neck, the same mixed emotions come over me. I should hate it, but I don’t.

It shouldn’t be possible, but it is.

I shouldn’t want her to do it again, but I do.

“Here you go, a breakfast fit for a princess.” Nico places a tray on my lap and I open my eyes to see what he bought me.

He’s not lying—he’s made me four slices of toast, a coffee in the biggest mug he could find, and a cold glass of water, but that’s not all. He added a nut bar and a chocolate bar he must have found in the well-stocked cupboard.

My stomach growls loudly again and he chuckles, making my lips twitch in response. I take a sip of the water, hoping it will help with the headache before tucking into a slice of toast.

“Eat up, the food will help with the headache. I’ll sit with you while you eat.”

My eyes shoot up to his and my brows pull together in a frown. How does he know this will help? This is the second time he seemed to know exactly what I needed, and now I’m questioning how much he knew and didn’t tell me.

“Don’t look at me like that, Rai. Like I said, we’ll talk about this, but right now you need to eat up. Please, I need you to feel better.” He looks sad as he perches at the end of the bed, fidgeting with his hands like sitting still is the hardest thing to do.

“You look like you need to talk about it now. Tell me what happened at least while I eat. I remember, but I need you to say it so I know I didn’t dream it. I’m convinced I’m losing my fucking mind.” I keep eating and sipping my coffee while I wait for him to start.

He needs something to do and I need to hear it.

“You were pounding on the door asking for Sunny, worried about Valeska and needing to get into her suite. We eventually got in and found her bleeding out in the bathtub. We thought she was dead.”

I wince at the image as it appears in my mind, my heartrate kicking into high gear as the panic I felt floods back in.

That heart-stopping moment will haunt my waking thoughts for the rest of my existence.

“Should I stop?” Nico asks.

I shake my head, I need to hear this.

He clears his throat and carries on. “You jumped in and pulled her to the edge, I helped you drag her out. She was lifeless and you broke .”