Page 32 of The Sins That Bleed

Death Becomes Her

VALESKA

T he sticky, warm blood bursts onto my tongue and I moan as it fills me with the elixir of life.

My fangs pierce the soft flesh like a hot knife glides into butter, and I take deep drags into my mouth. I’m so thirsty it burns my throat—only this blood will soothe the ache, restore the strength and power I wield as a weapon on this world.

I lose myself in the moment and let the flavours burst over my tongue, the cinnamon taste warming me from the inside as I suck another mouthful in. I love the smell of cinnamon, but it tastes even better, it reminds me of someone, a man that invaded my life, even from afar.

Rai.

Rai.

Rai.

Rai.

Rai.

Fuck! I’m drinking Rai’s blood.

I throw myself backwards and slam hard into the floor as I scramble back, his life source dripping down my chin as my back hits the end of my bed and I scream. I’ve taken something so precious, without consent, without even thinking.

If I didn’t hate myself before, I do now.

My hands sink into my hair and I rip at the strands as I scream again, my nails scoring lines into my scalp as everything from before rushes back to me all at once. Our argument, my lies, and how I lost control, hurting myself to the point of unconsciousness, and now this.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, please forgive me. What have I done?” I whisper over and over as I rock back and forth, the hot tears tracking down my face doing nothing to bring me comfort.

I feel hands tugging at my own, but I shake my head. “Don’t touch me, I’ll hurt you and I don’t want to hurt you.”

“It’s okay, V, I’ve got you girl.” Sunny’s voice soothes me, and for once I let it.

She holds me as I cry, and it’s an eternity until all my tears dry up. I should be strong for her, I should be the one taking care of her, but I need this right now. I’ve spent so long being alone and I’ve never truly let anyone in, not even my Sunny.

Maybe it’s time I changed that, but I’d have to stop lying to her first.

I have to let it out before it consumes me.

I lean back from her embrace now that there are no more tears to fall. She tries to take my hand but I pull my knees to my chest.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, V, and into something comfortable, yeah?” She’s gentle, as if talking to a wounded animal.

I don’t deserve her care.

“No,” I rasp out and clear my throat, using the opportunity to scan the room and find that we’re alone. He left, good, he should get as far away from me as he can.

I’ve committed the ultimate sin.

“I don’t deserve your kindness, Sunny.”

Sadness threatens to consume me and drag me under into its inky depths. I so badly want to let it take me so I don’t have to face this. I think of all the choices I made that lead me to this point, all the times I could have told Sunny the truth but I didn’t, and now here we are.

“Don’t be like that, V, you?—”

“I’ve lied to you!” I shout, the words echoing off the walls because she has to know, I can’t keep it from her any longer. “I’ve fucked up, Sunny, and you’re going to hate me for it, but I can’t keep lying anymore. I’m exhausted and you deserve to know, you deserve better. You deserve a choice .”

She stares at me and I can see her trying to put things together, trying to decipher what I might have lied to her about, but she’ll never guess this.

It’s going to alter her world as she knows it.

She’ll rewrite her life without me being a part of it—my only friend in my long existence and I still managed to fuck it up.

“What’s going on, V? I’ve never seen you like this before, hurting yourself like that and breaking down, you’re always so strong. I should’ve been looking harder. Fuck, it hurts me to know you’ve been carrying this all alone for so long.” She’s crying too now.

I clutch my knees tighter. My mouth opens but nothing comes out. I can’t form the words that will break her heart.

“Talk to me. Whatever you’ve kept from me can’t be that bad or, if it is, there must be a good enough reason to keep it to yourself. I trust you.” She tries to get me to meet her eyes, but I avoid them. I don’t want to see the moment she sees me for who I really am.

A terrible friend.

A liar.

A monster.

I suck in a breath that I don’t need as I say the words that will curse our friendship to ruin.

“Your full name is Azara Moreau, and your Rai’s missing little sister.”