Page 66 of The Scandalous Love of a Duke (The Marlow Family Secrets #6)

The room was dark, almost black. The day had been grey and the sky beyond the closed curtains must still be cloudy, hiding the moon. It was chilly too, the fire having burned itself out long ago, but John’s presence warmed Katherine.

He lay behind her, his body moulded to hers, one arm across her waist. His other arm lay above his head.

He had spent the day with her again. It was two weeks since her abduction, and he had been present most of the time ever since. He would only leave her if she bid him go, and he never left the house.

He had changed. The looks from his family suggested it too. His aunts and uncles all smiled when they saw John hovering at her elbow. He even carried out his business at home and mostly in the same room as her so as not to leave her.

She snuggled back against him.

What was happening was wonderful but… She was terrified of what would happen outside the house. He had always been attentive here, but at balls?

She had grown too used to this John. It might break her heart if she faced his ducal reserve again. A tear streaked down her cheek. Her shoulder still hurt but her heart ached more. Phillip, her father, everyone she thought had cared had hurt her… A sob escaped her throat.

John’s hand pressed against her stomach. ‘What is it?’

Katherine rolled onto her back. ‘I am afraid.’

‘Of what?’

‘Of everything and nothing, John. I am just in a blue mood.’

‘Why?’

He kissed her cheek. She felt his love but it only made her cry more.

‘Hush, Katherine, what is it?’

‘I am afraid of losing this. I… I just cannot… I cannot go back to how things were, John.’

‘I do not wish to lose you.’

‘You shall not.’

‘But you cannot always stay here, we cannot keep hiding here forever, and when I am well… You are all I have.’

‘And you are all I have, Katherine. You are going to have to trust me.’

He kissed the tip of her nose and then her lips.

‘Your Aunt Penny asked if I would like to attend her at home tomorrow afternoon. Your uncle will be there.’

‘And you wish me to accompany you.’

‘Yes.’

‘We will go then.’

He brushed another kiss on her lips.

They had not made love once since her abduction. But now his fingers slid to her hip and began sliding up her nightgown. ‘Do you wish to…’

She nodded. She did. It would ease her fear to have this physical connection again. She had always felt closer to him when they were united like that.

‘Do not be afraid, Katherine, I swear I will be different now.’

* * *

Two weeks later, John’s new demeanour was to be put to its first extreme test. It was their first ball.

Katherine had attended three separate afternoon entertainments in his company, during which he had sat silently beside her most of the time, smiling, but in a way which betrayed nothing of what was on his mind.

Yet he had not been cold.

It was the Earl of Gladstone’s Christmas ball and the weather had kindly deemed to dress the evening in a seasonal fall of snow. They had waited in the carriage for an age, watching the large white star-like flakes falling.

Her fingers were clasped beneath her fur-lined cloak, and John’s gloved hand clutched her waist as they were admitted into the warmth of the grand hall. Katherine glanced up at him. His lips were tight, and his expression was not set but neither were his features mobile.

His family were wary of the fragile changes in him too. They often commented to her on how different John was, but no one said it to him, and his mother watched him with both happiness and fear.

It was as though he was discovering himself again.

He had started going out, to his club and the House of Lords, and to meet his business man.

But when he came home he talked about where he had been and what he had done, and he did not stay out all day.

He had even taken her with him on a couple of visits to Mr Harvey’s offices, where Phillip now worked.

She was a part of his life but tonight was the final test.

John was nervous, she knew, and uncomfortable. He had been silent during dinner and on the journey here. She unclasped her hands and caught his as it slipped from her waist. He looked down and smiled as a footman stepped forward to take their outdoor clothing.

Afterwards they were offered warm punch. Its sweet scent filled the hall.

‘Ready?’ John asked, as she shivered in her short-sleeves. ‘This fashion is not suited to winter.’

He laughed, and then his white-gloved fingers gently rubbed her arms. ‘We will get you dancing then. That will warm you up.’

She nodded. Though with her arm braced in a velvet band, hung from her neck, to hold her shoulder steady, the only dance she was probably capable of was a waltz.

‘Come along.’ He led her to the receiving line.

Katherine glanced up at his profile. He was so ridiculously handsome. ‘I love you,’ she whispered.

He bent to her ear. ‘I love you too.’

‘Pembroke, you look pleased with yourself. Marital harmony, I suppose?’ They were Lord Gladstone’s opening words.

‘Damn, I am rumbled,’ John stated. She knew the Earl was a close acquaintance of John’s. ‘Pray do not out me.’

‘Too late, old chap, you have done that yourself, the word is already loose. Everyone knows she has broken you. The smile you bestow on your wife says you are smitten.’

John scoffed, his expression turning to a look of self-disgust, but he did not raise his mask. ‘Am I that obvious?’

‘Yes.’ The Earl laughed.

John laughed too. ‘God help me, then I will not deny it.’

The earl patted John’s shoulder. ‘Never mind, Pembroke, I would rather be in your shoes than some others.’ He bowed to Katherine. ‘Your Grace.’ Then she and John moved on.

‘That is it then, my reputation is in shreds,’ John whispered into her ear. But his voice was light and humorous.

‘Does it upset you?’

His gaze held hers, sparkling and open. ‘No, Katherine, let them gossip. Your smile is worth my reputation.’

‘I prefer Lord Gladstone’s view of it anyway.’

John’s smile broke wider, as his fingers caught hers. ‘Come on, they are starting a waltz.’

She saw Eleanor, who was now heavy with child.

Katherine’s fingers touched her own stomach. Her condition was beginning to show. They were leaving London after this ball, tomorrow, returning to Pembroke Place. John had said they would stay there over Christmas only, then move on to one of his more isolated estates.

While she was in confinement, he was having both Pembroke Place and Pembroke House fully redecorated. To dispose of his childhood memories once and for all.

‘John! Katherine!’ Eleanor called before they could move among the dancers. She approached with her husband, who smiled in the fashion of a proud expectant father.

‘You look well,’ Eleanor said to Katherine first, and then glanced at John. ‘You too. What has she done to you? You are actually smiling.’

John laughed. ‘She has made me happy.’ He did feel happy – happy and not uncomfortable at all.

‘Well, amen to that,’ Eleanor replied.

John spoke with Nettleton for a moment until the other couple left to continue their circuit of the ballroom.

‘John?’ He felt himself stiffen instantly, and turned. Elizabeth Ponsonby. Could the woman not learn that no meant no?

She smiled her hollow seductress smile. It did not entice, it only revolted.

Katherine’s fingers wrapped about John’s forearm, gentle. He felt them wrap about his heart too and the ice inside him melted. He actually found the smile he had become accustomed to in the last weeks lift his lips. ‘Elizabeth.’

‘What is this, a show of marital bliss? How sickening. It shall not last.’

‘It shall,’ Katherine countered, pressing against him in what he knew was a gesture of possession, and he treasured it.

He smiled down at her, knowing his love burned in his eyes.

He did not give a damn if others knew. He wished them to.

Katherine met it gaze, the same look of love in her eyes. ‘Shall it not, John?’ she whispered.

There was no one else in the room but her as he looked into her eyes.

‘Our love will last,’ he answered as his hand lifted to touch her chin and his lips lowered to hers.

He acted without thinking, and then he realised…

He had just kissed his wife in a ballroom full of his peers…

And then he remembered Elizabeth staring at them.

He laughed, not quite believing himself and how happy he felt. He looked back at Elizabeth with dismissive humour. Her presence no longer made him bristle. He really did not care whether she was there or not.

She threw him a proud, indifferent look and walked away.

His fingers cupping Katherine’s chin, John kissed her again and then they both laughed.

‘Let us play a hand of cards or two, as your shoulder prevents us dancing.’

Her smile shone in her eyes and she nodded.

John remembered the weight of loneliness he had felt at night when he had lived in Egypt, a year ago, and the dark stark memories of his childhood, which had not bothered him for weeks.

Everything seemed lifted from his shoulders, and all the darkness gone.

He did not expect to ever have the dream again.

His mind did not need to look back. He had the birth of his child to look forward to now.

When he turned to the room, those about them were staring, and when he and Katherine walked away fans and hands were raised and whispered behind. He searched for anger and bitterness inside him and found none. None.

He did not give a damn what others thought, not any more.