Page 31 of The Scandalous Love of a Duke (The Marlow Family Secrets #6)

Katherine watched John leave the room through the corner of her eye. He had looked at her several times during the evening but when the men re-joined them after dinner his attention was focused on his mother.

Something was wrong. His posture had seemed hostile and guarded and now he’d left his guests again, and no one apart from John’s father seemed to have noticed.

What was going on?

Biting her lip, she looked about the room. Everyone was talking, no one would notice if she went outside. No matter how much he had hurt her she couldn’t leave him suffering. She wanted to help him.

The terrace was shrouded in black, the moon invisible, and a tepid breeze stirred the trees in the park beyond it, filling the air with the sound of rustling leaves.

She couldn’t see John as she walked tentatively into the dark. But then her eyes adjusted and his tall athletically lean silhouette came into view.

He was leaning on the balustrade looking outward into the inky darkness, engrossed in thought.

‘What is wrong?’ she whispered, laying a hand on his shoulder.

His muscle jolted and then he turned so her hand slipped off. ‘Go away, Katherine.’

‘Is there a problem? Is something?—’

‘Nothing, Katherine. Go back in. You should not be out here.’ His posture was stiff and straight, both defensive and dismissive, but yet again she sensed his vulnerability.

‘John…’

‘Just go. I am only likely to hurt you more if you stay out here. I am not in the best of moods.’

She took a deep breath. How could she leave him alone when he seemed so sorrowful?

His shoulders dropped, and he reached into an inside pocket of his evening coat to withdraw a slender silver box.

‘Seeing as you will not go away you shall forgive me if I do the unthinkable and smoke.’ He took out a single slim cigar and then put the box away again.

He struck a match on the stone balustrade to light it.

‘John?’

‘Do not pry, Katherine. I do not want to speak.’

She sighed. ‘Very well, I shan’t. But seeing as you said you planned this event all for me, I am sorry it seems to be like torture for you.’

He laughed, but it was a hollow laugh. ‘I told you I do not get along with them, did I not? Now you have seen it for yourself. And I cannot blame it on them, can I? They are all perfectly nice. Which means the fault must lie with me. By the way, you look beautiful, that dress suits you, and I like your hair. Did you dress it?’

‘No, Eleanor’s maid did. You do not know I am staying here, do you? Your mother and Eleanor organised it.’

He drew on his cigar.

She moved closer and touched his arm. ‘I can understand, John.’

‘Can you?’

‘Yes. Stop pushing me away.’

‘Is that what I am doing? And there was I, thinking I was protecting you from what I should not have done in the first place.’ His hard gaze turned to her.

‘You cannot understand, Katherine. I know you have felt alone, you said so, but you have a very good reason for it, your mother is horrible. The fault is not yours.’

‘But she is not my mother. I had no parents as you had no father. There are things in your life I can understand more than anyone else.’

‘I had no mother either until I was ten, and no one will tell me where she was.’ Almost instantly, as though he regretted telling her that, his gaze shuttered and his body stiffened, and he sucked on his cigar before rising and turning and throwing the thing out into the darkness.

‘You can trust me,’ she whispered. ‘I promise.’

‘Can I?’ he answered, standing with his back to her and looking outward into the dark.

‘Yes, John, you can, and stop hiding from me by answering with questions. I am here for you if you need me.’

‘I don’t need anyone. I am a duke.’

She hated the barrier he was setting between them. ‘I survive without bitterness because I have Phillip and Papa. You need someone, John.’

‘Do I?’

‘Kate! Kate!’

Katherine turned to see her brother stepping out through the French door. ‘What is it?’ Her heart thumped.

Phillip stopped and looked at them. ‘John.’

‘Phillip.’

His gaze returned to Katherine. ‘The other guests have left, so the younger members of the family have rolled up the carpet so we can dance. I thought you would want to dance…’

‘Yes,’ Katherine answered. ‘I will come.’ She turned back to John, met his gaze and whispered, ‘You do, John, you need someone.’ With that she turned and walked briskly towards Phillip.

‘What were you speaking to John about?’ he asked quietly.

‘He is in a bad mood. He has argued with his family. But do not say anything to him, Phillip, he will not thank me for telling you.’

* * *

Katherine could not believe how easily John deceived and manipulated people. He had rejoined his family an hour after leaving them and managed to charm his way out of giving any explanation for his absence. His cousins fawned over him and he smiled or nodded as though nothing was wrong.

His family were more reticent, however, and she had watched them watching him with questions in their eyes. They knew something was wrong, as she did, but she also guessed he would not accept their help any more than he would accept hers.

Sitting up in bed, Katherine thumped her pillow to fluff up the feathers before lying back down on her other side. She could not sleep. John was in a room barely yards from where she lay and his stark look as he had stood on the terrace in splendid isolation continued to haunt her.

She could not balance the John she saw now with the young man who had romped with Phillip in the lake years ago.

He had promised not to take her virginity in the tower room, and he had not. Not even when she had urged him to. The John she knew as a child was inside the other – in pain. But why?

Sitting up again, she knew she would be unable to sleep unless she tried to speak to him once more. He had no one else.

The room was so dark, she had to feel her way about the edge of it to find the door, and then she progressed along the hall still using touch, her fingertips brushing across statues and doors, which she counted to find her way.