Page 44 of The Playboy’s Playbook

Chapter Thirty-Nine

MATT

D riving away from Laila had to be the second hardest thing I’ve had to do in my twenty-six years on this planet. I’ve watched her cry too many times and every single tear shed was because of me.

Laila deserves better than me. She deserves someone who won’t keep secrets, who won’t make her cry. Giving her the choice means that whatever she decides is based on her heart. If she feels in her heart that being with me isn’t what she needs, then I won’t argue with her.

It stings thinking about her moving on with someone else, but she deserves happiness, even if it isn’t with me.

Guilt and shame rip me apart every time I watch her beautiful face become stained with tears that I caused.

As painful as it was for me to walk away from her, I wish that I hadn’t now that I’m alone in my room at Luke’s house.

A knock sounds on the door and Luke pokes his head in. “You okay?”

I shake my head and wipe a stray tear that’s fallen. “I think I just let her go tonight.”

Luke enters the room and cracks the door so he can listen out for the boys if they need him. He walks over to my desk chair and sits down, looking at me intently. “What happened, Matty?”

I sigh and more tears fall, so I stand from my spot on my bed and move around the room.

“I told her that I love her and then I walked out her front door and left her standing on her porch, crying. I hate seeing her cry, but I don’t want to be the reason she isn’t happy.

Last year, I got lucky. It was pure dumb luck that she gave me a chance after three weeks of me trying to talk to her.

I don’t think I’m that lucky a second time around.

A playbook isn’t going to help me with this. ”

Luke sighs and shakes his head before walking over to me. “Remember when you first moved in with me and said that you didn’t think there was anybody capable of loving you because you were a broken man? Well, newsflash. Laila loved you anyway. She still loves you.”

We’re both silent, the air in the room going still as we look out of my bedroom window.

“You should take tomorrow off. You’ve worked hard the last few months and took care of my two wild children. When was the last time you took the day off?” Luke asks.

“I’m not sure. I don’t think I’ve ever taken a day off.” The only time I remember missing work was the day Laila broke up with me. I left work early and didn’t go back. Other than that, I’ve made sure I was at work. I’m sure I have enough time to take a couple of months off.

“Well, you should take the day off tomorrow,” Luke suggests.

“I’ll think about it,” I say.

Luke and I both know that I’ll be at work tomorrow. I need something to distract me and the best thing to distract me is to be at work.

“Whatever happens, Matty, just know that you did the best that you could and you got to experience one helluva love story. Even if it was only for two months,” Luke pats me on the shoulder before walking out of my room.

I lay back onto my bed and stare blankly at the ceiling, the outline of the fan holding my attention. A few more tears fall and at some point during the night, sleep finds me.