Page 22 of The Playboy’s Playbook

Chapter Eighteen

LAILA

R ot to hell or not, I’ve tried to fight my feelings for Matt. He sets every nerve-ending I have on fire, making me feel alive for the first time in my life.

“Baby, we can wait a while longer,” Matt says, walking toward me and placing his hands on my hips once we’re in my room. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me, feeling his hardness press on my lower half.

“I’ve waited long enough, Matty.”

I pull his face to mine and we share small, sweet kisses.

His hands roam my body, memorizing every inch of my frame.

I want to feel his bare hands on my skin, so I pull my t-shirt over my head, only standing in my lace bra and shorts.

The look on Matt’s face says everything. He wants me, but he’s holding back.

Why?

“I’ll say it until you get it through that thick skull of yours,” I pull my shorts down my legs. Matt’s eyes carefully follow my movements and his breathing picks up. “I. Want. You.”

He swallows and stares at me as I stand in front of him in my underwear.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” His voice is strained, as if it pains him to think about hurting me.

I shake my head and step back into his space, running my hands up his covered torso. “You won’t hurt me.”

Matt slowly unbuttons his shirt and I stand on my tiptoes to kiss him. He takes his shirt off and I lean back, taking in his physique. He’s always been fit –it’s his footballer’s body – but he’s filled out so much since high school.

I feel his eyes on me as he watches me intently while I run my hands up his stomach, tracing the outline of his abs and the sharp V that disappears behind his jeans. He has a few scars and I curiously run my fingertips over the one closest to his collarbone.

“What happened?” I ask, looking up at him.

“I got into a fight I had no business being in,” he answers.

I nod and continue my analysis of him. Matt shivers as my fingers go over the lines of his body and down to the buttons of his jeans. I move my hands to undo the buttons and he takes a sharp breath, placing his shaky hands over mine.

“Are you sure?” he asks, his eyes wide and ready for me to back out.

I don’t answer him with words. Instead, I continue unbuttoning his pants and push them down his thighs.

“I have condoms,” I say, my eyes landing on the bulge in his briefs.

“Ah, so you knew this would happen tonight?” Matt asks jokingly.

I shrug my shoulders and step closer to him, placing my hands back on his stomach. “I was hopeful.”

His hands trail over my body, causing me to heat up wherever he touches me. “I have a change of clothes in the truck.”

“So you knew this would happen tonight?” I raise an eyebrow, leaning back to look at his face.

He chuckles as he pulls me closer. “I was hopeful.”

Matt leans down and kisses my neck, shoulder, and the curve of my breasts in a menacingly slow way. His lips ghost over the sensitive spot on my neck before he places a kiss there, his hands gripping me tighter.

“We’re not rushing this, baby,” he growls.

I nod as he continues to torture me with his slow kisses and delicate touches. He’s infuriating, but I know he wants to make sure I’m sure about this, about him.

After an excruciatingly long time of standing in each other’s arms while he peppers my skin with kisses, I squirm and push him back a little.

“Matt, I’ve had enough with the foreplay. I want you to throw me on that bed and take me,” I beg as a shiver runs up my spine as his cold hand comes to the waistband of my panties. He tugs them a little before he snaps his eyes back to me.

“Let me look at you,” he rasps. I do as he says and shimmy out of the black lace fabric. I hold them up on my finger and he takes them from me. He brings them to his face and inhales deeply, keeping his blue eyes locked on me.

Fuck if I wasn’t wet already, I’m soaked.

“Bra, please,” he says, holding his hand out.

“Since you asked nicely.” I reach behind me and unclasp my bra and hand it to him. He puts my bra and panties in the hamper near my bathroom and stalks back to me.

I let him run his eyes up and down my body. I can’t help but feel slightly insecure, so I cover myself with my hands. He steps forward and removes my hands from my breasts.

“Don’t. Don’t hide from me, baby.”

I swallow the lump in my throat and nod as he continues to take in my body. The look on Matt’s face tells me that I have nothing to be insecure about.

“You are so fucking beautiful, Laila.”

“I don’t think it’s fair that you get to look at me and I can’t look at you.”

Matt smirks and pulls his boxers down, kicking them in the same direction as his jeans. My eyes nearly pop out of my sockets at the sight of his length. He’s not big.

He is fucking huge.

I gulp as I look at the veins covering his velvet shaft. I try to break my eyes away, but I can’t. Matt pumps himself while I shift in my place, watching intently as he walks closer to me. I bite my lower lip and look at him, feeling my cheeks heat with embarrassment. “Can I…touch you?”

Matt smiles and nods. “If you want to.”

My romance novels have failed me in this department – the girls in those stories are already getting their backs blown out and here I am scared to touch his – penis, dick, cock? – like it might bite me.

I glance at him, needing reassurance and guidance because I’m out of my element here.

His hand covers mine, gently adjusting my grip, adding just enough pressure.

His eyes flutter closed for a brief moment before meeting mine again.

I follow his lead, moving my hand the way he showed me, and his breathing quickens slightly.

“You okay?” He looks at me cautiously, his breathing still heavy.

“Will you fit?” I ask.

He chuckles. “It’ll be tight. You can change your mind. We’ll get dressed, have a hot ass make out session, and go to bed.”

I shake my head. “Not a chance.”

“It may hurt,” he argues.

“Talk me through it,” I counter.

He pushes me gently onto the bed and spreads my legs apart, his mouth gaping as he looks at my exposed sex. “Okay, so first thing’s first. I need to get you…ready.”

I tilt my head in confusion. “Ready for?”

“Ready for me. Can I…can I touch you?” He looks at me intently, waiting for an answer.

I swallow the lump in my throat and nod. “Yes. Please.”

He dusts his fingers over me and my muscles tense at the sensation of his cold fingers. Matt kneels and looks at me, his fingers touching me lightly where I need him the most. “Can I kiss you here?”

I look at him and even in the dim light, I see that he’s nervous. Probably more nervous than me. “Yes.”

Keeping his eyes trained on me, he presses his lips to my core. I can’t look away from him as he starts kissing me harder. When he pulls away, his typical bright blue eyes are dark with lust.

“I’m going to put a finger in you, baby. If it’s too much, tell me to stop.” Matt’s voice is serious and I know it’s because he wants to make sure I’m okay with what we’re doing.

I couldn’t be surer about him than I am at this moment. My chest rises and falls in anticipation and I nod, making sure I keep eye contact with him.

“I need to hear you tell me it’s okay, Laila,” he demands.

“It’s okay, Matty. I’m okay.” I run a hand through his blond hair and he lets out a sigh of relief.

He starts kissing again and then he slides a finger inside of me, curving it slightly. I go rigid at the unfamiliar sensation and he immediately stops.

I shake my head and plead, “Keep going.”

He buries his face back between my legs and I feel my muscles tightening, preparing for a release. My breathing picks up and I press Matt’s face closer to me, needing more from him.

“Matt,” I moan. He hums against me and begins pumping faster.

“Fuck,” I breathe, arching my back slightly off of the bed. “I’m gonna –”

As soon as I utter those words, he pulls away from me, leaving me infuriated and annoyed. “Matt! What the hell?!”

He smirks and shakes his head. “You’re gonna come, alright baby. Just on my cock.” He furrows his brows as he looks around my room. “Condoms?”

I gesture to the nightstand beside me, and he strides over, retrieving the box.

He pulls one out, tearing open the packet with his teeth, and rolls the condom down his length with ease.

When he returns to me, he aligns himself at my entrance and leans down to kiss me.

The taste of myself lingers on his lips, making my pulse race.

His gaze locks onto mine as his hands frame my face. “Are you sure about this, Laila?”

I reach up and touch his cheek, smiling softly.

“I’m all-in, Matty.”

I wake up in the middle of the night, my body sore and tired.

As soon as we finished round two, Matt and I were both out like a light.

His arm is draped over my stomach as he cradles me close.

His hold on me tightens and he stirs a little behind me.

I feel him hardening and suppress a chuckle at the feel of him poking me in my back.

“Are you okay?” His voice is deeper than usual and full of sleep.

“Hmm, just a little sore,” I whisper.

Matt immediately sits up and leaves the bed, sending a cold rush up my spine at his absence. I turn and look at him. “What are you doing? Where are you going?”

He walks into my bathroom and flips the switch. “Running you a bath. Lay back down.”

He turns on the bath water and I hear him rummaging through the cabinets, mumbling to himself. I get up from the bed and slowly make my way over to the bathroom. He’s too distracted looking through the cabinets to notice I’m standing in the doorway.

“Can I help you look for something?” I ask playfully as I pull my hair into a high bun.

“Epsom salt?” He rubs the back of his neck.

I walk over to him and pull the container of salt from the cabinet.

I hold it out and he pulls me by my wrist closer to him, placing a kiss on my lips.

He steps back, turns the water off, and pours the salt into the tub.

The room soon smells like lavender and my body turns to goo at the thought of soaking in the bath.

“Get in. I’ll go get you a towel.” Matt turns and walks to my towel closet and I call out behind him.

“Grab one for you, too.”

He doesn’t respond, but he walks back in with two towels in hand. I hold out my hand for him and he walks over to me, setting the towels down on the edge of the circular tub. He steps into the water slowly and pulls me toward him.

I lean my head back on his shoulder, and he tightens his arms around me, placing a kiss on the nape of my neck. We sit in silence for a moment before he shifts to grab a hand towel, pouring soap on it. As soon as he begins massaging my back, a moan slips from my lips.

“Better?” he asks, still running the towel over my body.

I nod, unable to speak. He chuckles and turns my face toward him so he can kiss me again. I pull away from him and stare into his eyes.

“Thank you for tonight,” I say.

He smiles down at me, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. My heart flutters a bit.

What if he regrets tonight? What if he doesn’t feel the same way? I shift and lean up, pushing away from him so that I can face him directly. His entire demeanor has changed and I don’t like it.

“What’s the matter?” I ask.

He sighs and I can tell that he wants to tell me something. A singular emotion is written all over his face, but I can’t place it.

Regret? Guilt? Sadness?

“Laila, I…” He hesitates as he pulls his gaze away from me. I don’t want him to feel like he has to tell me every detail of his life, but I do want him to feel secure enough to tell me what’s bothering him.

“Tonight was the best night of my entire pitiful life and it’s because of you. You make my day and all I want to do is talk to you and hold you. When I go to my place and it’s empty, all I can think about is walking in one day and finding you and Nola there.” He squeezes my hands before continuing.

“I know I have a lot to work on and you have standards that I have to meet, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to tick every box of yours.”

I let out a sad sigh because I have to state the obvious. “I’m only here for the summer, Matty.”

He closes his eyes and nods. “I know and I wish summer would last forever. We’ll figure this out, but can you promise me one thing?”

“Well, that depends on what it is.”

He lets out a shaky breath and grabs my hands. “Promise me that no matter what, we’ll still remain friends. I don’t think I could survive losing you.”

I can’t help but smile sweetly at him. “Even when we’re older and have to start thinking about things like mortgages?”

He laughs and I know he remembers me saying something similar when we were kids. “Even when we’re older and have to start thinking about mortgages.”

I agree with a smile and he breathes a sigh of relief, pulling me closer to kiss me slowly. I carefully straddle him, making sure I don’t drop on top of him.

“You’ve had a long night, baby. We don’t have to do another round.” He kisses me before finishing his sentence.

“There’s plenty of time for that.”