Page 18

The rest of the weekend is absolutely perfect. Daddy takes me back to his house and I take a bath before we go to bed. Sunday morning, I'm woken up again with breakfast in bed. It's still rather nice out, so we take Riley to the dog park at the edge of the neighborhood to play. I throw the ball for him until my arm starts getting tired. When we walk back to the house, Daddy makes us sandwiches for lunch and we go downstairs and he shows me how to play 8 Ball Pool. I'm terrible, but it's fun and it's something that me and Daddy can do together.

It isn't until Sunday night, when Garrett is dropping me off at my apartment that I remember everything that happened on Friday. I don't have to be at work until nine. I honestly forgot about everything we talked about on Friday too. Garrett reminds me to get as much together as I can so he can look over my financials for me. Despite trusting him with everything else, I'm still worried that he's going to see how I've been living and think I'm too much. I don't want to burst the bubble we've been living in.

Monday morning, I get up at my usual time and throw on a hoodie and my shoes before walking down the street. I don't have to rush this time, so I find a bench and pretend to scroll on my phone. I wish I had the courage to go see my siblings, to talk to them. Talking to them would mean talking to my parents, though. I don't doubt the youngest, at least, would say something about seeing me. It's exactly at seven when someone taps me on my shoulder and I look up.

I'm shocked to see my brother, Jayden. I've been keeping an eye on them all these years, but seeing him only a foot from me, I can see the details of his growth. He's seventeen, only a few months younger than I was when I left. He has the same skin tone as me, but his eyes are a lighter brown and his hair takes after our mom so it doesn't have the curls like mine does. I stand up, not sure what else to do. I'm a few inches taller than him.

"O?" Jayden's voice is deep, but I can hear the confusion as clear as I can see it on his face. "Is that really you?"

I look across the street where my sisters stand. They're standing still, watching us. I shouldn't have been sitting here for this long, but my mind was wandering to the past couple of weeks that I lost track of the time.

"Hey." I don't know what else to say. I've had dreams about talking to them again, but I've been too scared, worried about what our parents would do.

"Where have you been?" I can see and hear each of the emotions he's going through. Confusion, hurt, anger. "Mom and Dad said you left and weren't coming back, ever."

"I know," I say. I take a deep breath, steadying my breathing. I remind myself what Garrett told me that night when I opened up to him about everything. "I…" I have no idea what to say.

"Why are you here?" His voice is definitely turning more toward anger. I don't want him to be mad at me, but I know that I don't have near enough time to explain myself.

"I didn't want to leave," I say. I can feel tears welling in my eyes and I blink them back, going for the quickest answer. One that I hope will take some of that heat in his eyes away. "I didn't have a choice, but I never left. I stayed around here and I watched you, made sure you were okay."

"Well, we aren't. I'm not." His words are short. I can feel my heart racing. "You left and everything fell on me."

All the times I daydreamed about reuniting with the three of them, I pictured tears. Happy ones, ones that showed they missed me as much as I missed them. These tears, in both our eyes, are of unhealed hurt. "I'm sorry. I… They didn't give me a choice. You were too young, all of you were, but I tried to stay."

"That's not what we were told. Why'd you leave?"

Is Jayden old enough to know what happened? My biggest fear is that he's going through the same thing. He's bigger than I was at his age, maybe Dad doesn't take his anger out on him. "I don't know what you were told, but I didn't have a choice in leaving. Mom and Dad kicked me out."

"Why?" Jayden sounds like he doesn't believe me. Why would he? I haven't spoken to them in years. Our parents had plenty of time to tell them whatever they wanted.

I look down at the sidewalk between us. "I snuck out to meet a friend one night. We were just hanging out in the yard, we didn't go far. But Dad came back and he was drunk. I guess Quinn woke up and was looking for me; I didn't hear her outside." Reliving this moment, the one minute that changed my entire life, is hard. It's harder seeing the look in Jayden's eyes. I can't tell if he believes me or not and that hurts the most. "I came inside when I heard Dad screaming and saw him raise a hand up like he was going to hit her. I just reacted. I shoved him and he fell. He hit his face on a door knob or something. Mom woke up and told me to leave and never come back."

There's silence between us for a long moment. Jayden finally looks at me and I can see something akin to belief in his eyes. "I remember he had a bruise, but he said he got it at work. They told us you wanted to leave, that you were tired of us."

I go to say something, I'm honestly not sure what, but my sisters yell across the street that the bus is coming.

"Bye, O." I stand there and watch Jayden cross back over. All three of them are looking at me. I can see the recognition on Katy's face, but Quinn doesn't seem to recognize me. That hurts the worst. She was only five when I left. Now she's eleven and looks beautiful. If a bit confused. I raise a hand to my face, wiping away the tears. I wait until they're on the city bus before I walk back to my apartment. That did not go how I imagined.

I don't know if they're going to tell our parents that they saw me or if they'll be okay with me continuing to check on them. Would they think it was weird? Or do they even care? I didn't know how it would go when I left, but I hate that Jayden had to take care of everything when I was gone. I hoped that he got at least a little bit of a childhood. Did he get to go out? Or was he getting yelled at for forgetting to write down when the parent-teacher night was? Did he have to hide bruises when someone from the school called to discuss what one of them said during class? I tried to teach them that talking about what we do at home can get us in trouble, but they were young and didn't understand. It was on me to protect them and I did my best. I took as much as I could.

I have to get ready to leave for work in an hour. I go through the motions, taking a shower and making a fried egg and slice of toast. I miss the breakfast at Garrett's. At my Daddy's. Thinking of him, I grab my phone from the bedroom and see I have a good morning text from him. I don't want to bother him with this, so I just send a good morning back. He responds almost immediately that he hopes I have a good day.

My finger hovers over his name to call him and tell him what happened, but I click out of the phone app and set the phone down on the counter. My brain is whirring with all the things. Between my hours being cut, having to refigure what small budget I already had, and now seeing that look on my brother's face whenever I blink, I want to just curl back up in bed and let the day pass. I can't afford that, though.

I finish my breakfast and get dressed, adding the hoodie back on because the temperatures have dropped again. I can't wait for Spring to arrive. The walk to work is uneventful, but it's in full swing when I clock in and I'm immediately jumping to help Tyler with the drinks. Austin and Daniella are on the food side. He gives me a roll of his eyes, silently telling me what he thinks of the new schedule already. I push all thoughts of this morning out of my mind and focus on helping catch up with the orders that are waiting. A few of the regulars ask where I was and I explain quickly that our hours were shifted around.

A few complain of the wait times and I apologize as much as I can, topping some of them off with extra coffee or a pump of whatever flavoring. Tyler tries to keep up and I appreciate it, but he's not over on this side often. I hear more than once 'Orion knows how I take it' and I have to stop and explain how to ring the items up in the system. It's about twenty straight minutes of people ordering drinks before there's even a break in the line. Tyler looks pale, with bags under his eyes. He leans against the counter with his head on his arms.

"Are you okay?" I ask. I lay a hand gently on his shoulder. He doesn't lift his head, but I hear him talk.

"I'm fine. Just need a breather."

I take advantage of the lull and clean up the espresso station. I wipe down the counters and make sure the coffee carafes aren't empty. I don't ask Tyler to help with anything because I can see he's not feeling well. I have another customer come up and order. I direct Tyler to refill the stirrers and sugars while I help the guy. It's one of the nurses I see in here on Thursdays, but he's started to come in most mornings now.

"Is he okay?" the guy asks. His badge says his name is Brandt. He looks genuinely concerned. I glance over at Tyler and back.

"He's okay," I say. "Just been a busy morning, I guess." I don't know what's going on personally, but I'm not about to air out that someone is sick to a stranger. Even if that stranger happens to be a nurse of some sort.

I can see Brandt look at him twice more while I'm ringing him up and taking his money. Tyler finishes restocking and turns to lean against the counter. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see he stands a little straighter when he sees the customer. "Hey, Brandt."

"Hey, Tyler. Feeling okay?"

Okay, so they must know each other. I'm not sure if it's just from here or outside of work, but it's not my business. It doesn't stop me from listening to their conversation while I'm making an Americano.

"Didn't sleep much last night," he says. "I'll be okay though. I go on break in just a few minutes and I'll get something to eat."

The look that Brandt gives Tyler is one I've seen many times on Garrett. He's giving off major Daddy vibes right now. Or maybe that's just me wishing my Daddy was here. The two shots finish brewing and I add them to an empty cup, pressing the button to fill it the rest of the way with hot water.

"Come see me at the clinic after work if you're still feeling down." I pop on a lid and slide one of those cardboard sleeves around the cup. It has the Shade Grown Coffee logo on it and a caution that the contents are hot.

"I don't get off until after you're closed," Tyler says with a sigh. "I'm working from eight to four now."

I slide the guy's drink across the counter to him. I know that Tyler was working only six or seven hours a day, but now he's up to nine. Eight and a half if you include the thirty minute unpaid break. "We can always ask if you want to switch shifts," I offer, letting them know I was definitely listening in. "I mean, I could use the extra hours and I don't come in until nine."

"I appreciate it," Tyler says. "I've already tried to talk to the owner and his nephew with no luck. Says that's the way he wants it and if I can't handle it, I can find something else."

"Dick," I hear Brandt say under his breath. I stifle a laugh but he just shrugs.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket and hands it over toward Tyler. "Put your number in. We close at three, but I don't usually leave until closer to four anyway, so if you need anything just shoot me a text or call."

I smile at the interaction. This guy is smooth. It's obvious to anyone that the two like each other. I don't know how old Brandt is, but I know that Tyler is only nineteen. He'll be twenty in May, if I remember correctly. I'll be twenty-four in June.

Tyler puts his number in with a small thanks and says he needs to take his break. Brandt doesn't move as he sips his coffee and we both watch Tyler walk off. There's no one else in line, so I don't mind him hanging around for a second.

"Do you two know each other? Outside of here?"

"I can't say," Brandt says. I nod, not prying. I can assume he's seen him around the clinic. Patient confidentiality and all those laws.

"Austin is a great manager here," I say, trying to offer something that will lessen the worry line between his eyes. He can't be older than thirty. "Between myself and him, we'll keep an eye on him and make sure he isn't working too hard."

"Thanks." Brandt lifts his drink and nods to me before turning and walking out the door.

The rest of the day goes by much the same. We get a wave of people in for the lunch period and then I'm taking my break. I respond to Garrett's text about picking me up today. I didn't get a chance to get my papers together, not having a computer will do that, so I spend the rest of my break logging into my credit card accounts and printing statements as well as my last couple of paystubs. I’ll have to deduct about a hundred and fifty dollars from those checks with the new hours. I confirm with Austin that Tyler and I can't switch schedules, which sucks.

By the time we're finishing the last of the chores, it's just Austin and myself. Tyler dipped out twenty minutes early, after reassuring both of us that he would be fine to drive the ten minutes home. Austin told me that he and Amir, who was here for a couple weeks after I started, were supposed to go off to college together but with Tyler going through whatever it is, he had to take another semester off. I feel terrible for him and wish I could help in some way.

"So." Austin is helping me dump and clean the carafes out before I sweep and mop while he counts the money. "How did you like Saturday?"

"It was fun," I say with a genuine smile. "I wasn't too sure at first, but you were right when you said it was a good group of friends. Eli is funny."

"Oh, you haven't seen anything with him. He does all these voice impressions that are perfect."

I appreciate the easy conversation as we work side-by-side. Austin continues to ask me questions and I don't mind answering them. It keeps my mind busy enough to not think about how my day started. I'm about done with mopping when there's a knock on the front door. Austin and I both look at each other, since neither of us can see the door where we're standing. I was mopping the floor behind the food counter and he's sitting in his office. We both head out and laugh when Remington and Garrett are standing on the other side of the glass. Austin unlocks the door and lets them both in.

"We have phones, you know?" Austin says to Remington.

"We happened to pull up at the same time, so figured we'd come in instead of waiting in the cars." I let Garrett pull me into a hug as Remington does the same to Austin. "Besides, any excuse to see your cute face, baby."

"I second that sentiment." Garrett kisses the top of my head. "Missed you, honey."

"Missed you too." I bury my face into his chest for a brief moment before pulling back. "I just have to dump this mop water and then I'll be good to go."

"And I have to log the money and I'll be good," Austin adds. "Are we still going to Jared's for dinner?"

"Sure are," Remington says. He turns to Garrett and me. "You two are welcome to join us, if you'd like."

Jared's Local is a place Garrett's told me about before. It's a laid back bar-type place. I look at Garrett and shrug. It isn't like I have any plans and honestly, pushing off looking at my finances as long as we can is a win for me. I know that avoiding the issue isn't going to make it go away, but I could use some more distraction.

"We'd love to," Garrett says. I smile at him and turn to finish cleaning up. I make sure everything is put back where it goes in the closet and then grab the folder of information from Austin's desk. I hand it over to Garrett without a word and he smiles. I see Remington watching us, but he doesn't pry.

"Austin told me that you guys are getting a new owner," he says instead. "Says that it's not off to a good start."

"Not really," I agree. "They changed our schedules and are making us wear these shirts now. I came in this morning and there was a line of at least ten people and more coming in each minute. I don't know what they're going to do on Thursday when that big group comes in. I don't come in until nine and I've memorized all of their orders by now."

Austin comes out of the office and joins us. The lights are flipped off, except for the one under the awning, and Austin makes sure to lock the door before we head around the side and to the parking lot. Garrett opens the door for me and buckles me in before moving to his side. I watch him turn and grab his work bag to slide the folder in before starting the car. It's the first time since clocking in that I've let my mind wander to this morning. I don't know if I should risk checking on them again or not. I know at least Jayden will be looking for me.

Garrett's hand slides over my knee and squeezes, pulling me out of my thoughts. "What's wrong?"

I want to tell him that it's a long story and we can talk later, but when I look over at him, his eyes are so genuine. I don't know what magical spell he has over me that I trust him so easily, but I spill everything. I tell him about sitting at the bench some mornings, which he knew about, but that today my brother saw me. I recount the whole conversation, wondering what they were told about me and if there’s any chance that we can get past it somehow. I tell him that my fears were confirmed that at least some of what I went through was passed to Jayden. Garrett's hand never leaves my knee. I can feel him squeeze tighter as I'm talking, but he isn't hurting me.

When I finally stop talking, I realize that we're already in the parking lot of the restaurant.

Garrett gets out of the car and walks over to my side. I undo my seatbelt, but he doesn't let me get out. Not yet. He wraps me in a hug, a tight hug, and runs his hands down my back. I close my eyes and bury my face in his neck. "I'm sorry you had to go through that," he whispers. I take a deep breath of his scent, that woodsy one that I've come to love. "I love you, baby. So, so much. You are so brave for doing what you had to do then. You cannot blame yourself for someone else's actions."

When he pulls back and looks at me, I give him a smile. I believe his words because he's never said anything he hasn't meant before. He's my Daddy and he loves me. He's promised to always be there when I need him. His hands brush over my shoulders and down my arms. It's comforting. "Are you okay to eat here?"

"Yes, Daddy." As if on cue, my stomach grumbles loud enough for both of us to hear. He smiles and leans in for a kiss. Our tongues meet before our lips and we only pull back when Austin clears his throat close by.

"We would like to eat sometime tonight," he says. Garrett rolls his eyes and it makes me laugh.

We're seated right away, since it's a Monday and not very busy. The waitress takes our drink orders and lays out the laminated menus. It's just one page, front and back, of the different drinks and foods they serve. It's all comfort food, exactly what I'm needing right now. Garrett keeps his hand on me in one way or another. His constant touch is my reminder that I'm not alone anymore. When the waitress comes and goes with our orders, I'm much more relaxed.

This is my life. As much as I worry about my siblings and I want to help them, I deserve this life. Like my Daddy says, I have to put myself first sometimes.