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EPILOGUE

TEDDY

W e’re finally staying in the new condo together. Alone. We don’t have any furniture, so we’ve got an air mattress on the floor and boxes stacked up to use as tables.

“Do not sit on the boxes!” Rhys yells through the echo-y space while I’m mid-squat.

“But the floor is cold!”

“Get a hoodie or something, but I swear if you crush a box and break shit, I’m taking it out of your ass.”

“Are you trying to get me to do it or not do it, because that doesn’t sound bad?” My thighs are burning, so I stand up and lean against the wall until he makes a decision.

The Chinese food delivery shows up at that moment, so I deal with that while Rhys gets the mattress set up.

I get everything on the counter, but we don’t have any forks. Or plates. Or anything else. So I grab one of the chopsticks, break it apart, and stab my sweet and sour pork with one.

Rhys comes down the hallway and finds me shoving food in my mouth and stops.

“What is happening right now?”

“‘m ea’ing,” I mumble around a mouth full of sweet and tangy deliciousness.

“Has no one taught you to use chopsticks? Did they not include forks?” He digs through the bag and doesn’t find any forks, either.

“I am using the chopsticks!” I stab a chunk of pineapple. “See?”

He shakes his head, but he’s smiling at me. Pulling his own out, he pulls them apart and uses both at the same time, like some kind of wizard.

“What kind of magic is that?” I demand.

“Have you never seen anyone use chopsticks before?”

I roll my eyes. “Obviously I have, but it’s fucking magic. How. Do. You. Do. It?”

Rhys spends the next several minutes showing me and arranging my fingers, but it’s impossible.

“See? Magic! Us mortals can’t do it!” I stab a potsticker and shove it in my mouth.

“An entire continent uses them.”

“Entire countries of people with hands that are magic. I could never even imagine the decapitation it takes to do that.”

“Dexterity?” Rhys asks.

“That’s what I said.” I sit on the counter to eat, and Rhys moves to stand between my thighs with his back to me so he can lean on me.

“You can learn. It just takes practice.”

“That takes a kind of brain hand smarts I do not have. This place is pretty sweet. I can’t believe we live here.” I sigh and wrap my arm around him.

“It is pretty amazing.” He pats my hand and sets his food down.

Good, he’s done. I made sure to leave room in my tum tum because I have plans.

Leaning down, I kiss his neck, then up to his ear. “Soooo, wanna try something with me?”

“That could mean so many different and terrifying things from you.” He turns and runs his hands up my thighs to my ass, pulling me more solidly against him. “What do you have in mind?”

The blue package I hid in the cabinet has been haunting my skull jello for hours.

I cup the back of his head in my hand, then whisper against his lips. “Double stuff me.”

Rhys blinks then pulls his head back with those adorable confusion lines between his eyebrows. “You just ate a fuck ton of Chinese food and immediately after, you want a DP?” His eyes are really big like he’s had a shock.

“I mean, I could go for a Dr. Pepper right now. Do you have one and didn’t tell me? That’s pretty rude. We’re life partners.”

“What? Now you want soda?” He looks around like he’s not sure if he has it.

“Don’t tease me about Dr. Pepper. Do you have some or not?” A Dr. Pepper and double stuffed Oreos sounds so bomb right now.

“No! I don’t have Dr. Pepper!” Rhys rubs his eyes and sighs. “Dr. Pepper? That’s not what DP means. I thought you’ve been on Reddit.”

“What does Reddit have to do with Dr. Pepper? And why does it matter, you said you don’t have any.” We’re getting off topic.

“DP does not mean Dr. Pepper. I expected that Reddit would have taught you that.”

“Oh. What does it mean, then? Digital photography? Duck party? Decorating Pluto?” I’m running out of ideas here.

“Double penetration. DP means double penetration.”

I scratch my head and try to picture that. “So like…a threesome?”

“It can be. But those don’t have to include DP.”

Why are we talking about sex? I just want cookies. I made sure not to fill up on the food so I could eat the farking cookies. “You’re really hurting my skull jello right now.”

“Big same, my love.”

“I want cookies.” I open my mouth really wide and point to it. “In my mouth hole.”

“Cookies? Then why are you asking me to double stu—ooooh!” He laughs and falls into my chest, wrapping his arms around my middle. “You meant double stuffed Oreos.”

“Yes! Cookies! I want cookies with the extra cream. Why are you asking if I want a threesome?”

“My sweet Bear.” Rhys gives me a soft smile and cups my cheek with a sigh. “I love you.”

“I love you too! Now feed me cookies!”

“Baby, I don’t have any cookies, not the kind you want. We only have fortune cookies.”

I shake my head and point to the cabinet. “They’re in there and it has been very hard for me to wait to eat them, so chop-chop buddy!”

Rhys grabs the cookies and settles back between my thighs. I open my mouth and stick out my tongue like Lancelot did when Osha said to ask nicely to be double stuffed. It was hot as fuck.

“Double stuffed can also mean double penetration,” Rhys tells me as he puts the cookie on my tongue. “A double penetration can take place during a threesome but it can also be two dildos, a dildo and a plug, or a partner and dildo or plug. Depends on all the parts involved.”

I chew my delicious cookie and think about that. “So basically two dick shaped things inside of one person at the same time?”

“Yes.” He leans in closer, dragging his scratchy chin up my neck. “And when you put two cocks in one hole—” he grinds against me “—the stretch is amazing.”

That sounds hot too. And it makes a lot more sense now why all the guys were laughing at Wolfe double stuffing people.

Rhys sucks on my neck then drags his teeth over the same spot, setting off hair boners all over my body.

“I wanna try that too but we have to have another name for it cause DP will always be Dr. Pepper.”