Page 76 of The Pawn

He and I stood side-by-side in this very pew to mourn the loss of our parents, each in their turn.

Incense burns barely masking the stench of lilies. The priest swings the censer as he sings prayers, his voice low and old, the familiar smell a strange comfort. What does he make of us here? These violent men in this holy place. Although the money that lines his pockets comes from exactly those men. I recall the priest Malek had forced into that small room in the cellar. How horrified he’d looked. How disgusted. I wonder if Malek killed him.

The coffin is set in its place, the mountain of lilies arranged on top of it, a photograph of Michael in life. Smiling. Almost. It’s a closed casket. Not much left of his face. Not after Rami shot it off.

We take our seats as Michael’s final Mass begins and I’m grateful for the numbness I feel. For the nothing. Grateful because if I let myself feel anything at all, I will go mad. I will run screaming down the aisle in madness.

25

CASSIAN

Only about a third of the mourners remain to watch Michael buried. The rest have gone to the Moretti house, the part of this Allegra is truly dreading. The one I’m itching to get to.

Rain batters the coffin as the priest sprinkles holy water onto it. The ground is mud beneath our feet. I keep Allegra close. Enzo is with us. He’s holding the umbrella over our heads. Jet’s gone ahead to the Moretti house and my mind is on my uncle.

Angelo is my father’s brother. He’s Seth’s and my godfather. Both Seth and my father trusted him. More than that, he’s the uncle who loved me when my own father shunned me, blaming me for my mother’s death. He’s been a central figure in my life for as long as I can remember. Today, what I’m doing, having him come to the Moretti house, it’s a test. Today I’ll know if my enemy is closer to my heart than I knew.

I hope to God I’m wrong.

The priest stops talking and gestures to Allegra. We stepforward and she throws the first handful of dirt onto the coffin like an experienced mourner. I guess she is. This is her third round in five years.

The priest hurries the ceremony along. The punishing rain isn’t letting up and he must know whatever blessings he speaks and however much holy water is poured over Michael Moretti’s body, his soul will not ascend to Heaven. None of our souls will. Well, maybe Allegra’s. I hope Allegra’s.

When it’s finally over I lead Allegra to our SUV. A few people stop us to give their condolences, excusing themselves from visiting the house. These are lower ranking family members. They all speak to her, but are unsure what to make of me. They know who I am. Just don’t know why I’m here, I suppose. These people I’m not concerned with. Those at the house are a different matter.

I watch Allegra throughout these interactions. I’m not sure what I expected, but she keeps her back straight, her head high. She thanks them for coming, says a few words about their loyalty and moves on.

When we get into the car, she turns to me, and I see what the tough exterior is costing her.

“After our father’s funeral, I watched Michael do this next part. Even as the male heir, they weren’t falling over themselves to accept him. I’m a woman. They won’t accept me, Cassian. Malek knew that.”

“They won’t have a choice. And I’ll be by your side.”

She studies me. “I guess we need to talk about that.”

Yes, we do. I’m glad she’s initiating and I wait for her to continue.

“What do you want out of this, Cassian?”

I take her hand, and she glances at my ring on her finger.

“I want us, first and foremost. I want you to know that. In here.” I press a hand to her chest, over her heart. “Do you know that, Allegra?”

She closes her hand over mine then presses her other hand to my heart. She nods, eyes welling again.

“Good,” I say. “Because there will be resistance.”

“I guessed as much.”

“But we decide. You and I. As far as our families go, we will cooperate going forward.”

“How will that work?”

“We will present a united front.”

“They won’t accept you because you’re a Trevino. They won’t accept me because I’m a woman.”

“They won’t have a choice, Allegra. Well, they will, I suppose. But to choose wrong will cost them.”