Page 43 of The Pawn

“No? Then why come here?”

He takes the glass of whiskey I pour for him, drops to a seat on the foot of the bed and sips.

“Because you knew I’d find you here, that’s why,” I continue. “Well, here I am. Glad to see you used a condom at least.”

“She’s clean.”

“You can’t know that.”

“Did you enjoy the show?”

“Is that what this was? Tit for tat?”

“Nah. Tit for tat would imply I was injured by your little… what was that anyway?”

My jaw ticks because I see what I saw before he and Allegra noticed I was there. I see her hand in his. I see his thumb circling her wrist.

Before I can say anything, he continues.

“How many times you going to strip her naked and flaunt her in front of my face and expect me to walk away?”

“Whatever fantasy you’ve got in your head about Allegra, forget it. She’s not for you.”

“She wasn’t for Malek Lombardi either, but we all saw how that went.”

I slam my glass down on the table. “Careful, Jet,” I say through clenched teeth.

“What? It’s true. Now you want to protect her? Like you’re protecting Vivi and Gage? Your ‘protection’ got a gun hand delivered to their front door.”

I’m on my feet in a heartbeat, gripping him by his shirt, dragging him up. I slam him against the wall.

“Be. Fucking. Careful.”

“Or is it like you’re protecting Seth by locking him away when his mind is gone? When it’s the last thing he wanted.”

“You don’t know what you’re fucking talking about.”

“I do. You told me, remember? We shared that bottle of whiskey, and you told me what he said back when he couldspeak his mind. When he had a mind. And you made a promise that you’ve broken. Just like you broke the promise to keep his fiancée and child safe. Just like you broke any promise you ever made to Allegra to keep her safe.”

My grip falters, his words hitting their mark.

“I can’t give him what he wanted. You fucking know that, you asshole.” I slam him backward. Because what Seth wanted, what he made me promise, was to end it before this disease destroyed him. Before it did what it’s done. But I couldn’t do it. I loved my brother. I love him. I can’t kill him.

Seth was the best big brother any kid could have. When our mother died after delivering me and our father blamed me, it was Seth who protected me. Seth who still loved me. Who never blamed me for her death. Seth whose love was unconditional.

“You don’t get to decide that though, do you?” Jet continues. “Except that you think you get to decide everything.” He shoves me backward and I turn away, pushing a hand into my hair. “You’re not fucking God, Cassian!” I hear the pouring of whiskey. “I saw what you did, by the way. Saw you come inside her. You broke your own rule. What if she gets pregnant? How will you explain to her that your offspring is damaged. If he’s allowed to live, that is. You think you just have the right?—”

I draw my arm back and even as I do it, even as I ram it into his face, I know I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t let him get under my skin. But if there’s one man who can do it, whose always been able to do it, it’s Jethro Blackstone.

“Fuck you, Jet. You’ve gone too far.” I shake my head, walk away.

He wipes his lip with his thumb and looks at it, sees theblood there. He must have bit it. His cheekbone is red where I slammed my fist into it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a black eye tomorrow.

I push my hand into my hair, mutter a curse.

“We were close before Seth got sick,” he says more quietly. “You trusted me before he got sick.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I stopped trusting everyone after that.”